Change

Change.

Why does that one little word cause fear and trepidation sometimes? Why are we as people often scared of change? It has happened to all of us at various points in our lives. Remember when you felt that little twinge of fear because you were going from middle school to high school filled you up all the way to your pinky finger? Or, when you were about to go to college or start a new job, or go on a blind date. It is the fear of the unknown that sometimes guides us and stifles us, when really and truly “when God closes one door, he opens a window”. We should embrace change because after all, it IS one of the ONLY things in life that is certain. Right??? Well, why in the HELL are we soooo scared of it then???

I was talking with my husband last night and he and I were talking about the possibility of us moving back to his home, Atlanta. The thought has been in the back of my mind as in “yeah, yeah….oh, o.k. that would be cool…..yeah, yeah..” But yesterday, due to some fluke of nature, it looks like he might actually be able to transfer to another location in Atlanta! He was talking to some of his superiors about the possibility of taking a job in Atlanta and he said that though they were surprised about the possibility of losing a valuable employee here, they seemed very positive and it seemed that it would a strong possibility for him to get this job in Atlanta. I mean, while he was in his boss’s office, his boss called the top person in Atlanta and he had an impromptu interview!Lawd, when I heard this my heart instantly filled with dread! Why you ask? Well….. it’s because of that fear I was just talking about. I have been wanting to make a change…in career, in my life in general, but just didn’t know how. Maybe this is the impetus that will spearhead something bigger and better! I guess it’s because of the “unknown” that I feel fearful. I do not know why I fear change so much….I think it was partially ingrained in me by my mother. She has always been the “responsible, settled” type of person. But hell, I guess since she was raising a child alone, she had to be if I were to have any semblance of a “normal” childhood. But I have always been that way….don’t wanna rock the boat….don’t wanna cause too much fuss…. but she always had a nouth….just like me.... It’s that mouth that get’s ya in trouble sometimes

But I think that it’s time to turn this life on it’s ear. It’s time. I’m 35 and I do think that it would be a great thing to make a change. I really want to branch out and make use of my skills in a new venue. It seems as though each and every time I start to think about change, I cringe. Well, no more!! I do believe that God puts us in places where we need to be…if we let him. And it might be time for me to get OUT of this city, the city I grwew up in, the city I call home and find a NEW city to love. This city is stagnant and I think that I have outgrown it. I need new scenery to create a new reality. So, in retrospect, if my husband does get this new job, I can get a new start in a new place and keep it movin onward and upward to a new and *improved * me.