Thursday, August 25, 2005

Biscuits, man hips, birthdays and money....

This is going to be a random post cuz, well… I’m feeling random today!

Can you tell me why men are always trying to get the biscuits (the ass, as it was) and why most women are o.k. just cuddling sometimes? Why are men on the proverbial hunt 24-7? I was talking to a friend of mine about his exploits and he was telling me how he was trying to “holla” at a whole SLEW of women, I suppose to “flood the market” and see what comes out in the wash type of thing. Women can be O.K. with getting to know you and then hitting it. But men….off RIP, they’re trying to RIP something off!!! Men and women really are from two different planets. Now don’t get me wrong, sex is a lovely thang. As I get older I guess that (if I were single) I would be so much more selective about who gets the “biscuits”. Not to say I was “out there” like THAT…..I don’t want X to have to question that status like in this post. (hee hee)

Why am am always besieged by folks who can’t drive??? I was on the freeway and this woman cuts me off (like she didn’t EVEN see me AND like she has an extra ASS AT HOME). And then she gives me a dirty look like I just suddenly sped up just to maek HER commute miserable. I just had to laugh before I was tempted to go off on a through-the-window tirade on her ass!! Women are the WORST drivers!!! Yes, I said it! Women.are.the.worst.drivers. I swear if you did a study on the percentage of accidents caused by women, I bet at least HALF would be by women!! The other half would be comprised of middle-aged balding grey-haired men with sports cars and teenage boys. (hmmm…..maybe I’ll look that up somewhere.)

I was in the kitchen area at my job today and this man walks by with “woman hips”. You know the type….they’re usually overweight and unlucky enough to have a tendency to store fat on their hips JUST like women do. They do not look gay or anything, they just look ….well…… like a woman! It’s unfortunate AND disgusting to me! This guy was about 5’ 6”, looked to be about 260 pds. and thanks to them hips, was a waddlin’ ass. I just watched as the tight Polly & Ester screamed for relief! ( He also had a slight knock-knee syndrome going on too ya’ll). But as I said to my co-worker, “it’s better that those pants were slightly tight than too loose cuz he’d really look like a sloppy bubblin mess!” I feel so sorry for those men with hips…..

My birthday is Saturday…… *yawn*…. I am soooo unexcited about it. I will be 35. And I now need to get on the stick (pun intended) if I wanna have another kid. I need to do it before my ovaries dry up and blow away….for real.(hee hee) I just don’t feel like celebrating and I think it’s because I’m broke as a damn joke. Shame, huh? Well, we‘ve had a number of things that have “popped up” recently and have just drained ANY resources we have. Then my husband goes on this “we should be saving more…..see….if we were saving…..” ya, ya , ya…. I know, I know. I am an admittedly HORRIBLE saver. It’s not that I think I’m gonna live forever, and subsequently have all the time in the world to save. I just believe in living very comfortably (as comfortable as I would like to). And I don’t mean keeping up with the Joneses. I feel like I don’t wanna look around when I’m 55 and have never driven a REALLY NICE (within reason) vehicle or have a nice armoir. Does that maek me too materialistic? I don't think so. I just don't wanna look like everything I have will fall apart if the wind blows. I can't help it. My mother always believed in having QUALITY surroundings. It didn't have to be the most expensive, as long as it was quality. And personally, I work TOO hard and deal with TOO much shit at work, NOT to have some things that I like. But on the flip side, I do (mentally at least) KNOW that you must save, etc. to have a comfortable retirement because when I can no longer work, I NEED to have something put aside and invested/saved. Til now….. I have been very lax on it.

I read something the other day on MSN.COM that said that if a kid aged 16 saves $2000 per summer for four summers, puts each of those $2000's in a Roth IRA, he/she will be a millionaire by the time they retire. WTF???? Why didn’t MY mom know about this shit???? I coulda been on my way a loooong time ago to having a fat ass retirement. And if you notice, that’s not even COUNTING any other money the child will save once he/she gets into the working world!!! Damn!! And this is why I have started a 529 plan for my son and why I have started to save for him. He’s 1. Hopefully by the time he’s 55, he can help his kids and do WAY more than my mother was able to do for me. And I do NOT fault my Mom, because information regarding saving/investing was NOT as easily accessed or as commonly just “floating” around like it is. You needed to be aware of someone who knew and we as black people, many times just didn’t know. So, I plan on providing a better life for my son and my family and will continue to persevere on my saving quest.

Have a great weekend ya'll!

In a minute...


Knockout Zed said...

I for one am not always out chasing ass, ass just seems to be running away from me. As I attempt to catch seems as though I'm chasing it! Big misunderstanding, really.

There was this cat that used to live in my complex in college that had man hips. His shit was so bad, he might as well have not even attempted to be a heterosexual. If he got married, his wife would probably hire a dude to bone him from the back. "I gotta see that ass bent over!" LOLAMOSAJ
(Laughing Out Loud At My Own Stupid Ass Joke)

brooklyn babe said...

Hey Robyn

Having been over your way in awhile so I decide to link you on my buddies list, and pop in more often.
"man hips" reminds me of an episode of girlfriends.... when one of the ladies was dated this dude that had a "bitch butt" lol.
I dont like those.... especially if its bigger than mine.

"saving cheese" yeah that guy was on Oprah last week, and he said the same can be accomplished by saving $20 a week. Which if you got bills out the wazooo, it just hard to save period. I am in this whole "living beneath my means mode" Hopefully I remember.

"529" good deal to start for your kids,make sure they can't touch it.

"Roth" could deal for kids too, but they suggested carry the age up to 22. to have power of atty over it.

Boy when I think about my cash damages college habits. Whoah!

Tata for now

Diggs said...

"man hips" are a travesty....I loved the randomness of ure blog.


mytruth said...

yeah, u were all over the place. It was fun though. "biscuits", driving, to man

Robyn said...

@Zed: suuuuure you're not *wink* ya anyway!

@brooklyn babe: Hey lady! yes,those man hips were a mess! :-) Thanks for coming to see me :-)

@diggs:Hey, thanks for stopping by.... glad you liked the random ramblings! :-)

@mytruth:Thanks for coming sweetie :-) Visit again!