Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Why.....

Why do folks come to work with their I.D. badges ALREADY on when they pull into the parking lot, looking all gay and HAPPY to be at work, like it’s SUCH a badge of honor?

Why do old women put on CAKES of makeup in hopes of looking YOUNGER and it only succeeds in making them look OLD and DEAD?

Why do people get in front of you on the freeway , in the fast lane, and then go SLOWER?

Why won’t this jackass call me back who supposedly wants to buy my grandmama’s house? Has he re-nigga-fied on me?

Why aren’t there enough hours in the DAY to do ALL that I want to do?

Why hadn’t I ever heard about “Inflammatory Breast Cancer” until YESTERDAY when I got an e-mail on it with a news video attached to it? AND that African American’s have a higher instance of it than other races?? If you have never heard of it either, go --> here

Why has my son started to think that mommy/daddy’s bed is where HE is supposed to sleep too??? (naw….. I don’t like children sleeping with me….even my own…..I gets NO sleep that way….. and this shall end) LOL

Why was Spike Lee’s “When the Levee’s Broke Pt.1 & 2”, his requiem about Hurricane Katrina that aired last night, a sad but true depiction in the OWN residents words, so upsetting to me STILL?

Why is my birthday this Sunday and I don’t even care?

Why does my son’s laugh ALWAYS make me laugh? LOL

Why do people wear inappropriate underwear at an increasingly alarming rate?

Though I am taking more pictures now and people really like them, why do I still feel like I am still “playing photographer”?

We have 6 elevators in the immediate tower I work in, but why do people PILE onto one as if there aren’t FIVE FUCKING OTHER’S coming REAL soon? (and of course my stop is on the 20th of 21 floors……***sigh*** takes me 5 minutes just to get up the freakin elevator)

Why is my girl who is now living in Atlanta, just moved there with NO MONEY, NO JOB and AIN’T got a place to live (she and he man and her daughter and nephew were living in a fuckin motel), is 6 months pregnant, and her whole life seems to have crumbled before my eyes and she WON’T pull herself up and GET.IT.TOGETHER and there is nothing I can do about it.

Why do I want my Mom to move back here or just close by soooo bad and the chance of THAT is like a snowball’s chance for survival in hell.

Why do I leave work and begin the evening “rush”; come home, get the boy from daycare, and by the time we eat it’s STILL like 8:00 at the EARLIEST???? (just not enough time)

AND the biggest “why”….WHYYYYYYYY CAN’T I BE INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY?????

Carry on…….

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tribe Vibe

Can I tell ya'll just how much I LOOOOOOVE Tribe Called Quest??? They are coming to this open air venue called Chene Park, here in Detroit on September 1 and myself and my husband plan to be in FULL EFFECT! My love for Quest drew from the experiences and the time in which I was experiencing them. I was in college and they were part of what folks called "The Native Tongue". Their style was unique and their beats were syncopated in just the right way so as to make you tap ya foot without you even realizing you were tapping. Their shit was unique, earthy, soulful and different. Along with groups such as Brand Nubian, De La Soul and the Jungle Brothers they changed the face of hip hop. Truly.

So, here I am with my boys Steve and Earl in NYC....we are making our rounds shopping in the Village, Soho,etc. and we head towards one of our favorite stores, Kenneth Cole. So,we go in and as Steve goes to look at some "mus-cle" shirts in the corner, Isaw this guy pass by me and my mind, in a delayed reaction said to myself "I think that was Ali Shaheed......". I look again and I am like I KNOW that is Ali Shaheed! Well, lawd if I didn't turn back around to my boy Earl and I look again in towards the door and I 'm like (in a whisper to Earl) "I think THAT is Q-tip!!!!!". I am nearly pulling Earl's jacket off his shoulder I am soo excited. Byt this time my boy Steve wanders back over and I am like "Steve! Is that Q-tip??? I think it is!!!". We look and look (not wanting to mistake someone for someone famous and they think us crazy)and finally are SURE that it is him.

Now, I have NEVER, and I do mean N.E.V.E.R. been a gay-ass (gay as in happy), groupie, fanatical-fan type of person.....well, not since Prince's Purple Rain Tour...... but that's another story. So, I was like Oh HELL NAW, he can NOT get out this store without ME taking a pic with him! Folks I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Tribe Called Quest!! There are MAYBE 3-5 songs that they have EVER made that I do not like! I used to like them soooo much in college people started calling me "Bonita Applebum". As a matter of fact my boy from college, who now lives DIRECTLY across the street from me, Rodney, started calling me that and sometimes still does!!!

So, here I am SCARED to approach this man because I LOVE his music. I was feeling like those giddy ass white chicks you see on t.v. going bananna's over an artist. Only difference my "little fanatical whit chick " was going off on the INSIDE.

So,I finally get up the nerve to ask him to take a picture with me . I walk up to him and say "Hi, You're Q-tip, right?" **smile, smile**. He smiles warmly and says "Yes, I am....how you doing?". I coulda fainted. I say, "I just wanted to tell you that I love your music **oh Robyn, you are sounding stuuuuuuupid, but fuck pride right now, you LOVE you some Tip** and I wanted to know **gulp** if you would take a picture with me.... **thank GOD I always have a camera with my ass!!**

He agreed and Voila:



I have never been so GEEKED in my LIFE. For real. With that said, I am ubbbbbberly excited to be going to this concert on September 1. I have never seen them in concert and it should be nice, cause in my book they damn near can't go wrong!!! See ya then Tip.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

If you hear any noise it's just me & da boys.....

In a world of fly by night romances, haughty broads, too cool nigga’s , fake hoes, sneaky bitches and backstabbers, there is nothing like the little seen entity….. True Friends. In specific, I am focusing on my true MALE friends.

You see, I have always been a person who had more MALE friends than female friends , mainly because bitches are crazy,sneaky and WAAAAAAAAAY better at mosquito-esque techniques (meaning, before you even know that most of them are stabbing your ass, they have gotten in, gotten on and are about to leave the scene of the crime). Now, I was always verrrrrrrrry scared of rejection, so even if there WERE dudes I liked, I always became the “:friend”. That’s the “safe” box I put myself in to stop myself from being hurt or turned down. It’s interesting that some of them later told me that they had a thing for me! WTF??? DAMMIT!! **shrug**

I have had many “frociates” (see The Kajuana Show circa 2005), that would be a friend + accociate who you have never had “biblical dealing “ with. I mean, I would literally just come INTO knowing a zillion guys. But these 3 guys, these 3 negroes have proven themselves in my life to be “BEST FRIENDS” in the truest sense of the word. This is my tribute to them.

Zed:


Don't we just look gay and HAPPY as Hell????? Heck we were young......we had a right to be!!.....this pic is OVER 10 years old!!!!LOL

Me & the Zedster met at Michigan State University sometime in the year of 1989 (I think…correct me Zed if I am wrong….). I think that it was at some point that I would see him CONSTANTLY around the campus and we’d stop and talk and chit chat about bullshit, etc. It wasn’t until after he came back to MSU after a brief stint at the crib (ahem,…..) that we got tight. I will never forget this conversation that was had at my then, campus apartment. Here’s how it went:

Zed: So….. you dating anybody?? **cheese**
Me: Yes…. I am
Zed: Who? Do I know him?
Me: I dunno….. I am dating this guy named Dave.
Zed: Dave who?
***I go into my room to grab the picture of Dave that was on my desk***
Me: Dave Harris
***Zed looks at picture and almost swallows his tongue***
Zed: DAVE! DAVE??? You mean Minority Aide DAVE???
Me: ***laughing and smiling*** Yes, THAT Dave.
Zed: SHIT !!

And so continued our platonic friendship LOL. It was soooo funny to see the look on his face when he discovered that it was the Dave he KNEW , and not only KNEW but who he was REAL COOL with! Our friendship kinda waxed and waned and I graduated and moved to D.C., so we lost touch for a minute. It wasn’t until I came back to Detroit that me & Zed connected again and it was on from then. I mean, me & Zed would hang out at LEAST once every two weeks and we would talk pretty much EVERY DAY! It was great to have a friend who I’d known for such a long time be back in effect and in my life. Zed has seen me through the Dave-breakup saga and through job issues and through me getting to know myself as a woman. He is one of THEE best counselors and advisors I know and he and I are SO much alike that it’s really not even funny. He used to ALWAYS refer to me as the “male version” of him (so that tells ya’ll I have mannnnnnnnny untold stories…… hee hee). And indeed, we are a lot alike. There are times where we’ll be talking and I will say “Uh…..umm… well…..” and he will just say “yeah man….. I KNOW what you mean…. I feel what’chu mean”. And hence started the all of the references to “Monkey’s”…. monkey this, monkey that and it just stuck. I love my Zed and I hope he always knows how much I appreciate him!

Earl:


Ohhh LAWD! What can I say about this negro? I met Earl also at Michigan State and became friends with him. He is 1/3 of the “Monkey Triumverate”, also known as myself, him and our boy Steve. We have also remained tight since college. Now, Earl is the smooth monkey out of the group. He has the “pretty boy/corporate thug” thing going on and knows how to handle himself with the ladies. He was SUCHHHH a playa in college and apr├Ęs college that I am surprised that I became as cool with his butt as I did. But one thing that was true about me and Earl’s relationship, was that once he found that I was his GIRL, true blue, he let down his guard and let me BECOME his friend, his true friend. It also wasn’t until after college that me & Earl became the way we are today. Me , Earl & Steve also share a love of disco (hence my screename ya’ll). Now, Earl is straight up from the “east side” and will tell somebody “lookie here, I’m from da east side,…… I don’t play dat” LOL and please believe it, he will get down if need be. He just hates resorting to stuff like that. But don’t let the pretty face fool you….. he will get wit’chu. So, imagine him, “baby thug life" as I could call him, being ALLLLL IN with some semi-bohemian, deep underground house and disco. HUH? Yeah, that’s what me & Steve said at first. But this brotha was as into this shit as most prepped-out, semi-intellectual, wanna-be folks who like deep house and disco are. Word. Me, Steve and Earl have been on numerous trips outta town together (Chicago, NYC a couple times and Toronto). We allhave said that the chemistry between the three of us is like that of no other three people. It is simply undescribeable and special. Earl now lives in Chicago and Steve, Arizona, so the triumvirate is split amongst 3 different time zones now. But when it was on, it was great. Literally some of the best times of MY LIFE. Earl and I would hang together and just go to grab a bite to eat or we’d just sit up in his crib and have some drinks and chill. I was like a sister to him, so there was never any pretense or put-on with us. Just realness. And I appreciate it. Because I was the “minority” of the triumvirate, I became “one of the guys”. And I am glad I did. These mufuckas would NOT MINCE ANY WORDS around me about women. They talked about “hoes” , “bitches”, “tricks” and any other variation that you can think of. I was being reverse-schooled! And I ate it up. I think that that is why my knowledge of the “game” is above and beyond where it woulda been had I not had these two. I have been to strip clubs and freak clubs. I have been WITH Earl when he was trying to talk to a chic and when the chic was like “who is that?” (referring to me, seated in the FRONT seat) he replied “oh, that’s my ex-wife”….. the chicken’s loved him, and he them. Earl has GOT to be the smoothest when it comes to dealing with women and though I did not always sanction his methods and such, I respected it because it was TEACHING me how shit REALLY is in the mind of a nigga. Indeed, Earl is a ride-or-die kinda mufucka. I have NO doubt that he would do anything for me…..all I have to do is make the call and he’d be on the way. True.


Steve



Steve and I met, where else? At Michigan State in 1990. He was a freshman and I was trying to be a junior! Lol. Well, from the FIRST time we met and he told me he was a DJ who loved disco/ house etc. and we sat down and talked, his spirit spoke to mine and I said to myself “ I HAVE to become cool with this dude…..he is MY type of person”. That coupled with the fact that he was a DJ who spun house/disco and I was too excited to be his friend. And I mean that in a TOTALLY platonic way. I just WANTED to talk to him some more because there I was usually feeling like I had the weirdest taste in music as compared to the masses and here he comes and LOVVVVVVES, not just likes, the SAME kinda music I do!!! I HAD TO become his friend! Funny thing is, he has since told me that he felt the SAME way about me upon first talking and meeting me. He and I lived in the same dorm until he moved off campus and I graduated. So, friendship came fast and easy with Steve and I. He was a “preppy kid”, I was a “preppy kid”. He loved house/disco, I loved house/disco. It was natural. I was soo glad to have someone that didn’t misunderstand me and that liked the same things that I liked! When me, him and Earl heard about this TIGHT club in NYC called Club Shelter and went there, me & Steve literally CRIED tears of joy at the entrance to the club because we heard the music and thought "we are NOT the only ones on the planet who LOVES THIS.EXACT.KIND .OF.MUSIC". Me & Steve talk about that often about that being a defining moment in our lives and the fact that we shared it together. Me and him are just "there" when it comes to music and there has been NO ONE to "feel" the music like I do OTHER THAN him. That is special.


Steve and Earl (in background) in Soho...


We have stayed in contact with each other throughout the years and he is really like a brother to me. So much so that I even had a key to his house and vice versa. He would tell women that basically “rob is my girl. that’s it. Nothing more. And if you can’t deal with that then…....get on”. Wow. Yeah, I was the queen **adjusting crown** and closer to him than his (3) sisters in many ways. We have been there through each other’s break ups, loaning money to one another, parental death, heartbreaks, TOOOO many laughs to name and more happy times than I think most people have......so if there was ever a time that I needed someone, he has been my sounding board, critic and uplifter in anyway he can. Even though Steve lives in Arizona now, I still feel as close to him today as when he was here. He just passed the Bar and is embarking on this new journey and I am soo proud (plus I can get free legal advice now! HA!!) All in all I am TRULY blessed to have my boys. They gave me that "other" male perspective that women just CANNOT give you. I hope that people out there have friends , may it be male or female because there are times that you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to share a smile with. These fella's have been there through it all.


I treasure them and hope that they know this !

Friday, August 04, 2006

Meme Friday

Since Zed's ass tagged me, I guess I will have to answer this :-)


Two Names You Go By:
1. Rob-nizzle (o.k…. not really)
2. Beana (by my girls primarily)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Bra
2. Draws

Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Endorphins
2. Peace

Two Things You Want Really Badly At This Moment:
1. This silver Movado watch for my birthday
2. To sell my grandmama’s house and get my basement refinished with the proceeds (yeah, I know that’s prolly two, but so what!) :-)

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Shopping
2. Fixing up my house

Two pets you have had:
1. Cat- Pooh (for a whole 24 years!....And yes that would be HUMAN years!)
2. Cat- Mittens (that hoe had to go cause she started peeing on the carpet!)

Two people who will fill this out:
1. Dunno
2. Someone who hasn’t yet

Two things you did last night:
1. Played with my lil boy
2. Watched “Money Talks” again…. I LOVE the opening scene! HA!

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Cheesecake Factory
2. Seldom Blues

Two things you ate today:
1.Cheesburger
2. Triscuits

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. My dumb ass boss…..UGH!
2. Zed

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Mom

I was talking to my mom the other day and she was telling me that she got a call from her former college classmate saying that the ladies of her Nursing class were having a 50th reunion (dayum! FIFTIETH??????.... I should be so lucky). I said “Mom,….I just CANNOT believe that it has been FIFTY YEARS since you graduated from undergrad!” I meant that in a “wow, it seems like yesterday” type of way and she got it as such. She said “yeah, I know! It is amazing. Well, my Mom lives in Florida and she said that the reunion is gonna be down there. I was like “why is it gonna be down there???” (because my mother’s college is in Detroit, hence my confusion). She replied “because most of these folks have retired down here, so…… it’s more convenient for people”.

Ohhhh I see. So, I asked her “did you always wanna be a nurse?” She said “yes, even as a little girl, I had told people that that was what I wanted to be…… but then again, there weren’t many role models to do other and greater things in my tiny little word”. “what do you mean? If you had had those role models, would you have aspired to become something different??” I asked. She said that for her, NO one in her family or close to her had gone to college. Let’s remember: My mother will be 72, so were talking about growing up as a child in the 40’s and early 50’s. She goes on to tell me that she “could have been a teacher, but felt that teaching wasn’t for her…..many girls were interested in being a secretary as well, but that wasn’t something she aspired to either. She said that it wasn’t until she was in high school and a counselor submitted her name for a scholarship and she won , in the same year, both the Delta Sigma Theta and the Alpha Kappa Alpha scholarship, that she even REALLY felt that she could go to college. Without those, she would not have been able to at the time (right outta high school) . My grandma had no money and it was SOOOO not heard of “saving” for your children’s futures, hell they were doing GOOD to feed ‘em. So, those scholarships really jump started her life and in return, mine as well.

So, we talk some more and I, out of the blue, just wanted to ask her “Mom, how hard was it to be a single mother?” You see, she left my father when I was almost 3. And truth be told, she said that she had decided that she didn’t WANT to be married to him anymore BEFORE I was even conceived, but that she gave him another chance and voila….here I come. I am my mother’s ONLY child. She said that not long after I was a year old, my father had a bad accident at work, which left him severely incapacitated and unable to work, or even provide most of the daily are for himself. And my mother's saying has always been "you don't kick a person when they're down....". So, though she did not want to stay in the marriage, she also was not going ot leave him incapacitated. So,my mother stayed with him (though at this point she was PLANNING her escape). My mother had bought the house they lived in with HER money and it was with her money (my father , per her, usually spent HIS money on drinking and hanging the fuck out) that she planned our escape.

She said that she had to find a place where it was “safe” for me & her because my father (being the alcoholic that he was) would have NOOOOOOOO problem coming to yo job and performing, or coming to yo house and performing! So, she opted to live in an apt. building that had security where not just ANYBODY would get in. The building also had secured underground parking. She said that she planned to leave for OVER A YEAR, scrimping and saving for me and her. After all, she was planning on leaving EVERYTHING. She would therefore have to buy furniture, new beds, bedding, some kitchen supplies, kitchen table, etc…….

Well, she finally did what she set out to do. Leave. She said that basically she left one day when he went to work and then took me over to my grandma’s (her mother) house while she went to tell him she and I were OUT. She said that we walked out of the house RIGHT into our apartment. I was about 3 years old. The same building I think of as home (because I do not remember EVER living with my father). I grew up in this building and was there until my mother mover to Florida when I was 17 years old and about to become a senior in high school. But, this was only part of the story…… I , as an adult, can only IMAGINE how difficult it was to have a young child, limited funds and be a single parent. And though I know a whole LOT of single parents had it WORSE than she did, I know that her journey was STILL not an easy one.


I asked her, “I remember that you told me that it was hard at times, and I NEVVVVER knew it.”. She replied, “You weren’t supposed to know”. I could feel her smiling through the phone. She went on, “I didn’t want you to have that burden on you. You were a very sensitive child and I knew you would worry so much AND to top it off, you didn’t NEED to worry about grown-folks stuff…. You were a child and it was your job to go to school, study and have fun growing up…..it was my job to make SURE that you had what you needed, and some of what you wanted……your didn’t need to know that sometimes I didn’t have lunch money or that I had to budget carefully to make sure I had money for gas……that wasn’t your worry to shoulder sweetie….”

I thought “wow”….. I literally thought my mother had money GALORE when I was younger…. She ALWAYS took me shopping and would buy me at LEAST one item when we went. I remember times where I would want more stuff than she would be willing to buy (when really it was probably more than she could afford) and I would have the NERVE to get a FUNKY-STANKIN- ATTITUDE !!!! I wish I could go back and smack the hog SHIT outta my 10, 11, 12 or even 13 year old self! My mother was just always soooooo secretive that I had no IDEA what she made per year, what our rent costs were or any REAL sense of what stuff cost and how far money DIDN’T go.

I mean, looking back, I don’t know HOW my mother was able to do what she did! When I was 4, she went to grad school and eventually got her Masters of Nursing. I can’t IMAGINE doing that and I HAVE A HUSBAND! There is simply NO TIME for you when you have a very little one, yet she was able to do it, with help from my grandmother and grandfather and a couple of my “play” aunts (my mother had one brother, who lived out of town, and later died when I was about 11). She told me that she was so happy to have me though , that there was no sacrifice too big for me. It brought tears to my eyes.

So, I am proud to have my Mom as MY Mom....she really is the best and I commend all GOOD single parents out there and can only say that they really hold up the truest meaning of the word : PARENT