Tuesday, October 31, 2006


O.K so does every one have their costumes ready, their candy baskets loaded and ready for the little ghouls and goblins to come by and ring their doorbells?


Why not?

Oh….. O.K…. I see……you don’t do Halloween….. mmm-kay

I guess I just do not agree with those who do not celebrate Halloween because of the reasoning that it used to be a pagan celebration of death or any of the many explanations for how it began.

I am not disagreeing that those things way back in history happened, I am just like “is it that serious now” and is that even what people are REALLY celebrating NOW? I am not celebrating the DEBBIL by dressing my child up in a costume and letting him go to a party and have fun with other children. I am not celebrating the DEBBIL by allowing him to go door to door to get some candy. It simply is another event in the lives of Americans who, for the most part, do not take it THAT seriously.

I just do not see why it’s necessary to have to segregate your children from having this fun and why it is even taken that seriously when if you DO participate in any of the MAIN activities that are taking place (most of which have NOTHING to do with the DEBBIL) you are just basically having a costume party.

I have read alot of information on what Halloween , Hallow’en, All Saints Eve or whatever other name you want to call it , first meant. I just do not choose it to have THAT meaning for my family plain and simple. We do not have evil ceremonies taking place or any other malevolence, so I do not worry about what it meant eons of years ago……..

Halloween is what you make it in my humble opinion, and again…..it’s just my opinion. But I will have my child up in his $50 dolla’ costume and having a ball.


Monday, October 30, 2006

In search of.......

Just another Monday ya’ll

Well, if you all have been following the S.I.L. chronicles, I haven’t heard anything from that heffa since I e-mailed her my last e-mail (which I don’t think I posted), in which I IGNORED her dumb-ass reference to the fact that we could “save more” by just coming to Atlanta and could still afford to give her a little money…….”. Whatever bitch….. I am done. Nothing to see folks move it along……

O.K......So.....I have been a bad mommy. By that I mean, I hemmed and hawwed and WAITED Until the LAST FREAKIN moment to get my son’s Halloween outfit! Soooooooooooooooo…… I knew I had to go out this weekend. So, because my husband bowls every other weekend and I didn’t want to WAIT until he was done bowling to get up and get out after I got my nails done, I kept “the boy” with me and at about 11:30 we got up and began our journey. I needed him to be there so that I could make SURE that the outfit fit him because ya’ll KNOW how FUNKY those places are ; “no returns” is their motto.

But why ya’ll, whyyyyyyyyy didn’t I just go on and wait until AFTER he had had his daily NAP???????????? Can you say that I had a long and FRUSTRATING afternoon????? Let’s start with the fact that he was CROTCHETY all to hell and wanted EVERYTHING his hands touched or his eyes came in contact with and every NO response from me, caused him to start CRYING AND HOLLERIN’. Now, I am NOT one of those parents that will scurry out of the locale that I am in JUST because I have a kid crying! NO! You need to LEARN that you will NOT get your way and that you WILL get knocked the FUCK OUT (a la Chris Tucker) if you do notSHUT. IT. UP. ! There is NOTHING that I can’t stand MORE than a screaming/ crying/hollerin child. And he is usually not like THAT. If he does cry I can get him to "shut it up" MUUUUCH easier than on this here day!! So we had to have the “do you want me to POP you?”conversation a MULTITUDE of times on that there day! I also knew he had not had his nap , so I wasn’t trying to kill his lil booty because I knew there was a direct cause and effect.

Well, lucky for him that he was just crying (albeit LOUDLY) and the fact that he was not throwing a straight UP tantrum, saved him from getting his ass TORE out the frame.

So, we go out and it had to be THEE RAINIEST, WINDIEST freakin day that I have been out in in a WHILE! Of course, I am trying to use an umbrella while holding my son (which is USUALLY not a problem), and that bitch flipped over TWICE and rain is FUCKING UP MY HAIR so I was TRIPLE mad (you all KNOW black women don’t play with their DAYUM hair at least if you have a permed/curled style!) and rain is hitting me AND him in the face so hard I could barely SEE, and I can’t get the FUCKIN umbrella to turn BACK the right way. He’s crying, I am getting ridiculously pissed off……

This was NOT a good time. AT. ALL.

We then go to not one but THREE different places to try to find THIS EXACT ELMO outfit. Not this one and not this one. I don’t like the last two AT.DAMN.ALL!!! They look like something I could make at my house!! So…..I wanted him to have the first one! Well, after fucking with the dayum WIND AND RAIN and his CRYING DAYUM NEAR INCESSANTLY about EVERY.THING, I was ready to say “ you know what….. I know it’s my fault, but you just won’t be GOING to a Halloween party cause I can’t FIND the dayum outfit!”

And my theory is, if I can’t find what I LIKE, I just won’t get SHIT. So, then I felt bad and went to ONE more place where I found it. Now….thanks to my procrastination, the outfit that my husband had seen for $29.99, I had seen online for $39.99, cost MY ASS 49.99!!!!!! Do YOU HEAR ME???????? I just had to get it though and BEFORE YA’LL START DOGGIN ME………. I will do JUST WHAT I have seen others do next year…..SELL IT ON EBAY !!!! Please believe it! So though I CRINGED at the price, he looks soooooo cute in it. We had been invited to this little girl’s party who he used to go to his old daycare with and it was ON SATURDAY, so I am so glad he was able to go, cause I sho’ll wasn’t talking him in his “STREET CLOTHES”. Me, my husband and and my son went to the party and had a ball!!! The little girls’s mom had decorated her basement, had hotdogs, chips, coney dogs with the condiments and Halloween decorated cupcakes and ice cream. She also made each guest VERY NICE AND FULL Halloween bags and had games for them to play like Pin the Tail on the Cat, the Dart game that's played with the Velcro balls instead of darts, “who can eat the donut off the string the fastest” , and a blindfold game where you have 30 seconds to dig in to a bowl of rice and pull out as much as you can. It was a lot of fun. There were only 5 kids there, but it was really quaint and fun. That lil boy got over like a FAT-RAT too because he had more JUNK food that night than he probably had ALL WEEK!! LOL I took pictures, and will post them with the pictures from the party that we will be going to tomorrow.

So, though Saturday was not the LEAST bit enjoyable being out with a SEVERELY irritable, crotchety two year old in the DAMN 50mph wind and rain (yes, the wind was REALLY that high), all’s well that ends well and my lil one even won first prize for his costume at the Halloween Party, so it was all worth it!

Be e-z ya’ll…….

Friday, October 27, 2006

S.I.L. 3, 4 , 5 & 6 rolled into one long ass post!

Hey ya’ll,

This has been lonnnnnnng in coming and consequently this is verry, verrrrrry, verrrrrrrrry long. A few of ya’ll { Diva, Zed & TS ) have read this, so ya’ll can just feel free to comment as there is no new stuff from what ya’ll have read already other than my comments sprinkled throughout.
I’m telling ya’ll , it’s long…..take a nap in between reading if you need to…..
This takes off where S.I.L. 2 left off.......

And yes, I know I have been MUUUUCH nicer than many people would have been...... read on........


From: Robyn@hellhole.com
To: ann@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Party
Date: Thu, 19 Oct 2006 09:04:59 -0400

Well, Ann-

I totally understand that you feel like this was an unfair “takeover” of your party since people knew that you wanted to have a party for his 40th. One thing I can say is that because it was his 40th, he was probably EXPECTING something anyway (at least a LITTLE something), so he might not have been THAT surprised. I mean, heck, I would DEFINITELY be EXPECTING **my hubby** to do something for my 40th, so there COULD be no surprise for me. I will be sitting on pins and needles and like a kid at Christmas WAITING on my “something”. So, I am not saying you had a bad idea, I am just saying that another way to look at it is, that he might have been expecting something. I’m trying to be nice……….

With that said, NOW we have the opportunity to do something SMALLER that really WILL be a surprise because he won’t be expecting anything more than Vegas at this point (if we go to Vegas). Don’t give up that easily…. I know you really want something personal and special from you and we can STILL have something personal and small (like surprising him with PEOPLE rather than an actual party----that won’t cost you anything-----). Or YOU can have a surprise-romantic night on the town with him in Vegas and **their son** can stay with us…..

And I can TOTALLY see that (my b.i.l.) probably never “desired” to go to L.V., but if he genuinely seems to like the idea, if you don’t want to talk to Jane about it and change the plans, he will probably still have a memorable 40th. Otherwise, talk to Jane and get it straightened out. Otherwise you are going to be PISSED OFF TO THE HIGHEST from NOW on until, and DURING THE TRIP……. And that simply isn’t good for your fun-factor or your blood pressure. If you are really that opposed to it, I say that you talk it over some more with Jane. Really…….I think that she would listen to alternatives………..but don’t just be pissed and say “f’ it…..” because you are mad. You need to be able to enjoy yourself in this whole scenario too.

Your point is well taken that you are pissed off because this was not discussed with you….. I give you all the validation in the world for feeling like that. Because after all, this is your husband. But this is sooooooooo early in the planning stages that stuff CAN be changed and Vegas just worked for everybody because it’s an idea that people like. But Ann, it’s JUST an idea……. And though (my b.i.l.) knows about it, we can come up with ANOTHER idea that DOES NOT involve him knowing so that you are not so extremely unhappy and angry about the celebration. I would HATE for you to be so upset in Vegas and just not having a good time.

I hope I can just help you to look on a BRIGHTER side of things and I think Vegas is a wonderful idea, but there are PLENTY of wonderful ideas. This is a whole year away that is plenty of time to figure something out. Just give it some thought…..ruminate on it…….and once you are a bit less upset ……. My biggest thing is


(to at least let her know that YOU are not feeling that for your husband and that he’s just kinda “going with the flow” about the idea, but not all gung ho like everybody else and it IS his birthday…….did I get the feeling he has correct? Because if that’s the way he feels, SHE needs to know about it, because SHE thinks he’s rarin’ and ready to go!)

Just thoughts to hopefully add some perspective.



From: Ann [mailto:Ann@hotmail.com]
Sent: Thursday, October 19, 2006 5:21 PM
To: Robyn (00900)
Subject: RE: Party

Yes, this was an unfair takeover. I already had the private room set for that date with our own private buffet and cash bar. I already know that (my b.i.l.) would have been expecting something, but he wouldn't have expected his childhood friend from cancun who he has not seen in 11 years or another friend he hasn't seen from another part of the U.S. He also would not have expected the slideshow of pictures of him and his family. Or the scrapbook. and all the other personal touches I had planned.
Which by the way he said he would have enjoyed a D & B party very much (you can let **my hubby** know). It was not going to be the least bit "informal" or impersonal. Yes I know it is a year away, but with what I had in mind I knew I needed the time to plan and save (was this bitch even going to do ANY saving…..yeah O.K…..I doubt it since she was ACTIVELY seeking “sponsors”…..). Just so everybody is clear.
Like I said, I have nothing against going to Las Vegas or any other suggestions but nobody has bothered to call the wife and clue her in or ask her opinion, while she is over here planning a party that everybody already agreed upon. With that said, The party is canceled and I've canceled the private room.
So if everybody else wants to go to Las Vegas or wherever than that is fine. As long as my husband is okay with it. I'm sure it'll be fun. As far as I'm concerned, Jane can plan for his birthday in Vegas and I will be fine with it.

From: Robyn@hellhole.com
To: Ann@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Party
Date: Fri, 20 Oct 2006 09:52:44 -0400

Yes, I understand…

I just don’t want YOU to be unhappy, and I just have the feeling that you will be IN Vegas and be PISSED about this whole thing STILL and it’s a year away. And just for clarification, when I said it was a year away, I just meant that to say that we have time to plan something if you want to, not in a “why the heck are you doing this so early” way.
And in all fairness, you hadn’t talked to Jane yet (she was the one who came up with the LV idea) and she was the one who really got the ball rolling. I am not saying that to “point fingers” , just as a statement of fact. Now of the other people who knew (me, **my hubby** , anyone else you’d discussed this with), planned the LV thing……. Know what I mean? Jane came up with the idea because she thought he might like it. She (admittedly) should have called you and discussed it with you very soon after the plan was brought up in all fairness.

And it’s not that LV works BETTER for us, it works just AS well, because we were having to probably (unless we can both get the time off) spend @$900.00 anyway to fly, and even if we drove, gas costs (there and back) @$400. This wasn’t something that works BETTER for us specifically. I just think that you and Jane need to talk and it seems that you two have not talked together to decide/figure out if you all want to make the plan LV (because it doesn’t matter to me…. We will be wherever the celebration is regardless).

You two need to talk. Because you are very angry and I can see 1 of two things happening: 1. you stay angry and your blood pressure stays high and you’ll STILL be angry at the celebration or 2. you talk to HER about what happened, tell her you are a bit frustrated because you DID have something planned and the fact that she told **my b.i.l.** and didn’t even talk with you wasn’t fair to you because you were planning something.

I think you should do #2…….but that’s just my opinion.

Again, you have my support and I just don’t want you to be all pissed off when this can be solved sooner rather than letting this fester and no one is talking to each other.


From: Ann [mailto:ann@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, October 20, 2006 4:41 PM
To: Robyn (00900)
Subject: RE: Party

Let's get one thing straight (and I am saying this nicely) I don't have blood pressure issues, so don't work about that. My blood pressure is equipped to handle my hot temper.
Next, I had talked to Jane about planning a party. I just hadn't given her all the details about the dave an d busters thing. We talked about doing it at her pool then a couple weeks ago I decided that he would enjoy having it at D & B and just hadn't told her yet. Therefore I am the one who got the ball rolling on a birthday celebration. She just got it rolling on Vegas. There's the correct statement of fact! First I told her we would try for this year and later I told her that next year would be better. Julius told me that she said she didn't understand that I meant next year.
But don't worry I wont be pissed off and unhappy in Vegas. Again, Like I said, I'm sure it will be fun and I never had a problem with Vegas, but Hell ,she even discussed it with you ( or **my hubby**) or however you found out. I'm not sure. And she still has yet to call me. HIS WIFE!!!
How would you feel if you were planning something for your man which you told her and you found out she was thinking of something else and told every one else before you? You would be pissed to. So when she calls , we will talk about it. By the way. what is she saying since it seems you two are communicating?
{I was soooooooooo angry when I got this that I started to call her and cuss her out. I actually got so mad I got a headache and had to walk away. I don’t know WHO THE FUCK she thinks she is talking to! Her DAMN CHILD?????????? I LITERALLY had to take a step back but after I sent what you are about to read below, I am done. The kid gloves are OFF and I was READY to cuss her out. FUCK HER! Why should I be nice to THIS BITCH when she’s OBVIOUSLY lost a fucking screw and thinks she can talk to other GROWN people anyway she wants to!! You see….., I was tryyyying to be nice in the interest of “I have to see this hoe at family functions, so I will take the high road and not CUSS HER THE FUCK OUT” but after THIS e-mail….. I have RESOLVED myself to the fact that me and her funky ass MIGHT JUST have an adversarial relationship and at THIS point, I am FINE with it! Sooooo….. read below for the conclusion…..” }

From: Robyn@hellhole.com
To: Ann@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Party
Date: Sat, 21 Oct 2006 20:24:24 -0400

I actually only talked to her that one time when she suggested LV....we haven't talked since then. I agree WHOLE.HEARTEDLY that I would not be happy at ALL if I was circumvented in the process ESPECIALLY if I was the one who started the process. So, I agree. Also, I was only referencing blood pressure in terms of the sheer fact that ANYONE's blood pressure becomes elevated when they are angry and therefore I am SURE if you had taken a reading of YOURS when you are angry, I am SURE it's more elevated than usual. That's all.

I simply feel that you and Jane need to talk (some more than you did initially) and if SHE isn't going to call you, that AS his WIFE, you need to be the one to go ahead and suck it up and call her so this can get out in the open so that EVERYBODY is on the same page. But again, that is your decision, so from this point I will gracefully bow out of it....... because I do not want to be caught in the middle of something that I was only trying to help fix as best i can.

So, if you are really O.K. with it, I guess there's nothing else to say but "Let's go and have fun in Vegas! "
{First of all, I sent this to this bitch on Saturday the 20th and she didn’t respond to me until Wednesday the 25th…..yeah…… and notice how she done checked and CALCULATED MY financial involvement, HA! She is fucking CRAZY!!!}

From: Ann [mailto:Ann@hotmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 12:26 PM
To: Robyn (00900)
Subject: RE: Party

{ Now her ass is all calm and cordial…….whatever how, you have awoken the DEMON in me….. she will NEVER get the “nicey-nice” Robyn-a-fucking-gain!!!And I mean that. }
Hey Girl,
I just want to say thank you for trying to help and for you advice. I really do appreciate it. **b.i.l.** and I talked about this Las Vegas thing the other night and we have decided not to go for these reasons.
1)He doesn’t really want to. He says Las Vegas is just not his thing if we are going to go out of town he's rather go some place where he would really enjoy himself with things he likes to do. It is his birthday. He's not a drinker a gambler or a club goer. The only thing he would enjoy is going to Andre Agassi's tennis academy { My b.i.l. is BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG into Tennis and plays CONSTANTLY}and maybe seeing a show (his words) which for the 3 of us to see would cost the same as a plane ticket. ( I checked) We can't afford that right now.
2) It's to expensive for us right now. I priced plane tickets for us and for you. You may be able to get them cheaper, I don't know but, from what I priced, it's cheaper for you to fly to Atlanta according to cheaptickets .com. { WHY IS THIS HOE CHECKING MY SHIT?????} Then once we get to Las Vegas we still have to pay for a hotel( $$$). Then we have to pay for at least 3 meals a day for 3 people. Then we have to pay more money if we catch a show ($$$ 1 plane ticket price for 2-3 people, according to my sister who has been there many times.) You know we are going to want to do some slot machines and go shopping some. ($$$) **b.i.l.** says that we just don't have the money right now spend on all that especially since it's not something he really wants to do anyway. He said we would have been better off sticking with the D&B plan. He would have enjoyed that much better anyway. Just scaled down so it wouldn't cost so much.
You said going to LV works better financially for you. I personally think you would have been better off financially coming to Atlanta because A-the plane ticket is cheaper. B- You don't have to pay for a hotel C- you don't have to buy 3 meals a day for 3 people unless you just want to go out to eat. I would have provided food for you. D- **my b.i.l.** would actually get to see more friends and family because they all wouldn't have to figure out how to pay for all that stuff listed above in LV. Now, I understand and have no hurt feelings that you can't spare a couple hundred dollars to help me give **b.i.l.** a 40th bash. But in my opinion you would end up spending a lot more on JUST the hotel, unless you all have connections we don't know about( not counting food and shopping and a show and whatever else you know we can & will came up with to spend money on) then you would have if you spared a little to help me with the party. {Can ya’ll BELIEVE she slipped THAT shit in there????? I didn’t even acknowledge it in my return email below….. whatever how…..you are laughable at this point and I am not the one} But that's just my opinion. I apologize for putting you in an awkward position and soliciting your help. I don't want to cause money drama here so let's forget I asked and I am currently coming up with something else.
So if you all want to still go to Las Vegas, By all means go and I hope you have a wonderful time. Maybe we can plan a girls trip there one day {Is she SERIOUS???? PUH-LEASE!!!! You could NOT PAY ME to go anywhere with her dumb azz!!!LMAO}because LV is someplace I have always wanted to go to but I knew it just was not someplace **my b.i.l.** wants to go. (He told me so). So I don't think it's the right birthday for him. Now for mine or your birthday, that's a no brainer!( when is your birthday by the way?)
So I am currenty working on plan B for **my b.i.l.**'s birthday and when I have everything finalized, I will let everyone know. So If you didn't hear about it from me, than it's not part of the plan.


P.S. I will be calling Jane in a few minutes.

She had my b.i.l. call his momma and (to be nice) told her that well….we can’t go because we doin’t have any money, blah, blah, blah…… So when my husband talked to his mom she goes “O.K….that’s cool, I understand….. but if I sell this house then we can still go and nobody will have to pay”. LOL She COMPLETELY didn’t get the memo that there are TWO factors to not going #1, they don’t have the $$, and #2 THEY DON”T WANT TO GO!!!! I was LMBAO when my husband told me that because apparently Jane is DEAD SET on going to Vegas! And hell nor high water are apparently going to stop her! LOL So, I am suuuuuuuuuuure there will be an epi-epi-logue to this because if she sells that house, she gon be like “o.k., so now what….. pack ya bags”. And they (my bi.l. and s.i.l.) did themselves a HUGE disservice by not telling her that they do NOT really want to go!

Enjoy ya’ll’s weekend….. ya’ll should be sleepy since I have given you a nice LONG read before beddy-by.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

S.I.L. #2


Now, what you are about to read is my BEST, SWEETEST, BOWING DOWN TO-KEEP-THA-FUCKIN-PEACE LETTER EVER SENT BY ME. This is not normal..... I feel bad for the girl.

So she sends me a text this morning which says: "So have you heard the latest?"{Me thinking: Ohhhh, it's on and poppin NAH!!!!!} and below is my response to her text message.

I ain't even got no words for this so I'm just gon let it roll as is. You all make ya comments! I am LITERALLY LMBAO at this shit.

IF you missed S.I.L. #1, click HERE

Carry on!!


From: {Robyn}
To: {ann@hotmail.com}
Subject: Party
Date: Wed, 18 Oct 2006 11:22:00 -0400

Hey Ann!

I got your text this morning! And yes, I have heard the latest about going to L.V., and actually I think that it’s a GREAT idea! Jane ( my m.i.l.) said that Jay has never been, I know I’ve never been (my hubby has) and it something different! I am not a gambler, but I have heard from others that there are sooooooooo many things to do out there that you do NOT have to be a gambler to have a blast! I know that you really wanted to have a surprise b-day party and maybe we can have a “surprise” type of event out there! Like , maybe we don’t have to tell him that ALL the people are coming and have them showing up be a good surprise! (just a thought)

This personally would be good as well for us, because one thing that (my husband) brought up is that because we would be the ONLY ones who have to travel to GET to Atlanta, we would not be able to contribute anything towards a party. Our plane fare for me , him and Dylan ALONE is moving along the lines of $850-950 range. We simply don’t have money like that! LOL (that’s actually why we’re not traveling ANYWHERE this holiday season….. it’s just too expensive.) So, unfortunately, if the party stays in Atlanta, (my hubby) said that it would have to be good enough that we were able to come simply because of the money that is being expended and the money that would need to be spent once we get down there.

Flights to L.V. on the other hand tend to be VERY cheap and if me, you, Jay, my hubby and the kids got a suite, the “smokers” could have a suite and we could all have a great time.

Also, (my hubby) didn’t really think that Jay would really enjoy the D& B that much for his birthday. But this is YOUR husband, not his, so if you feel really strongly about it, you should plan your party accordingly if you know that he will like it better. I told him you said you thought he would, but he thought that he would like a nice dinner with family/friends, etc. better just because D & B is so informal and more for a younger person to celebrate a birthday.

But gimme your thoughts and hopefully we can all have a blast next year!



(that was the BEST I could do ya'll to be as NICE as I could.....)


From: Ann {mailto:ann@hotmail.com}
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 4:08 PM
To: Robyn(00900)
Subject: RE: Party

Jay would love D & B for his birthday because he loves going and has told me it would be a great place for a party. I think Las Vegas is a great idea to but the reason I am pissed off is because I'm the last to hear about this and I'm over here planning this big ass surprise party because Jay said that he never had one beofre and nobody has even bothered to ask me my opinion on the man that I have been married to for the last 11 years. Everyone knew that I wanted to plan a surprise so I think that I should have been notified before Jay therefore I could decied what aspect to keep a suprise. Because he is my husband. And I know for a fact that Las Vegas is not the most exciting place to take Jay because he told me last night that "It's not something he's ever really wanted to do, but it could be fun." I think my personal touch surprise party that I had planned for my husband would more suit him but what do I know. And since I would need help paying for this anyway, it appears that my paln is no longer an option so Las Vegas it is. I'm sure we will have fun. Don't get me wrong, I do think Las Vegas would be great. It's some place I have always wanted to go but I think it should have come through me since evrybody knew that I wanted to plan a special surprise for my husband.



I wanna go off on her so bad, but this is SO. FUCKING . COMICAL because it's so fucking UNBELIEVEABLE, I can't even BREATHE!!!!!


Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Check this out ya’ll….. my brother-in-law just turned 39 this year. Well, his wife Ann,my sister-in-law, wanted to have a bigggggggg shindig THIS year because “she wanted to”, fuck what made sense seeing as though the landmark b-day was NEXT year and it would simply PROBABLY make sense to wait. She is pushy like that. I like her, but her pushiness CAN be overbearing. Not only is she pushy, she is like that ALL THE TIME.

I can’t stress enough that I DO like her (in her moments of being non-pushy) but she can be a REAL trip. So get this: She calls me last week, and when I say she calls me, she called me one evening (I didn’t even see that she called until the NEXT day when I picked up my cell to make a call) and by then she had called TWO MORE times. So, I am thinking “WTF does she want???? “ But I forget….. that is how she ALWAYS is!!!! If you do NOT call this bitch back she will call you 25- cazillion times, each time sounding increasingly irritated. Trust me, I know……

So I call this hoe back on my way HOME and I’m like “ Hey Ann, what’s up?” She proceeds to lay out this “plan” that she has for her husband’s SURPRISE birthday party that she wants to plan. For a minute ya’ll I was totally discombobulated because I was thinking “wait…. His birthday just passed A.COUPLE.OF.FUCKIN.WEEKS.AGO, so”……. and then it clicked and I went “Are you talking about NEXT YEAR for his 40th b-day???????!!!!!”

She goes “Yeah…. I was thinking that we could have a party at Dave N Busters and have his friends, and the family ...... Jane (my mother-in-law, aka his and my husband’s mom) said that I could have it at the clubouse in the complex but I don’t want to have to clean up and then if we run out of pop somebody has to run to the store or if we run outta ice.....so I think it would be easier if we just had it at D & B......”


First of all: this is a fucking “fun palace” type of place and is NOT the place that I think MOST people would want to spend their 40th birthday. Maybe I am too high post or bougie or WHATEVER, but I would be GAT DAYUMED if my spouse planned a Milestone Birthday at a D & B, if my guests would even SEE me, cause I’d be SO MAD that THAT is what he planned, that I would be ALL.WRONG.

Second: I asked her “ Is that the kinda place that you think that Jay would WANT to have a 40th party at???” I’m trying to understand are you doing this for YOUR OWN SELFISH reasons or because you want to have a party that your HUSBAND would like?????? Sounds like the damn former instead of the latter, to me !!!

So, she swears up and down about 20 more times that “yes, I really think he would like it….. I really do” , and then we get to the meat of the REAL reason she is calling me:

“well, I was wanting to have it for his friends and family but I was wondering if you and (my husband) would be able to help out with the cost…. I mean….anything you could do would be appreciated …..because I calculated that because they have a buffet and the cheaper buffet is $14.50 per person plus $1.95 per person for unlimited water, tea anc soda the total would be about $800…….waa waaa waaa waaa waa waaa”.

I blacked out after that. WHAT BITCH?????????? Are you crazy?????????????? $800.00 DOLLARS?????????????? This is YOUR FUCKING PARTY FOR YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!! I am a GOTDAMN GUEST!!! YOU DO NOT ASSSSSK GUESTS to come outta THEIR money to ATTEND a party!!!! And did you STOP to think that unless we DRIVE down there (which is DAMN outta the question unless we have at LEAST a week to spend cause that's TOO LONG of a drive , WITH A 2 year old, 12 hours to be exact, to turn RIGHT back around on the road......me NOR my husband are fans of driving long idstances either) it will cost (because my son is over 2 years old (and looks every bit of it) between $750 -$900 in AIRFARE ALONNNNNNE just to GET there! Fuck what we WILL inevitably have to SPEND while we are DOWN THERE!!!!!!! You inconsiderate TACKY BITCH!!!! I was floored.

Readership: Do you all see a problem with this as big as Africa?????? How fucking TACKY can you BE!!!!! I said “uh…..well…. I Will have to talk it over with my husband…..uh…… O.K”. I didn’t even know what to say and DIDN’T want to say the WRONG thing and have shit all fucked up between me and her until the END OF TIME.

( Too Serious, I know, I know.... I can hear you now...."fuck that.... HER ass would just have to have been mad at me!" LOL But I didn't just want to go ballistic without digesting that foolishness first and talking with my husband)

So she goes “Oh o.k., good…..cause I was wanting to get started on the planning and I intend on asking Jane and Mary and Ken (aunt and uncle of my husband and his brother) and Kelly ( my b.i.l. and husband’s first cousin……..” . And I am sitting here thinking , you stankin selfish BITCH!!!! You are calling NOT because you are excited to plan this party , but you want to figure out (based on who you can get to fund YOUR SHIT…..can I EMPHASIZE the words “YOUR SHIT” so you can figure out how much money you DO NOT HAVE to save!!!) .

Also, my thing is this too: Bitch if you can’t SAVE $800 in 11MONTHS (his birthday was literally a month ago) then YOU need to be getting ANOTHER JOB!!!

So, I tell my husband and he agrees and was like “if my brother knew what she was doing (i.e. asking for donations for his party) he would be mad as HELL”. He agreed that it was inconsiderate to ask us of ALL THE people because EVERYBODY ELSE (literally) that would be coming LIVES IN ATLANTA ALREADY!!!!! We are the ONLY ones who have to travel!!! But that is just how she is….. she can be so nice and thoughtful, but she can be QUITE inconsiderate.

This all happened on Monday. So, I call Jane (my m.i.l.) and asked her has Ann called her about this and ran down the situation. She said NO. My m.i.l (who is NO JOKE and pulls NO punches) went through the ROOF when I told her the details ! She was pissed about it and cited the SAME problems with the shit that we had (i..e we already have to spend a fortune to GET THERE, the tackiness factor, etc.). So we get off the phone and the last thing I heard was <>i“Oh, when HER ASS calls ME, we gon straighten this shit OUT cause she ALWAYS does that crap to me….. (i.e. calling her asking her for money for HER SON, my m.i.l’s grandson, saying “lil jay needs this, lil jay needs that).”

Oh and please believe that though they do not live an extravagant life, they live in a very nice suburb and she only works 3-days a week as a medical tech/surgical assistant because she “wanted to stay home with “ her son while he was young. Well,guess what...... he’s now 6, in school FULL-TIME, so bitch if YOU WANT TO HAVE YO HUSBAND A PARTY, looks like you need to be going to work FIVE days a fucking week and not three! PUH-FUCKING-LEASE!! I would NEVER call people asking for MONEY for something for MY husband that I WANT to do!!!!

********** UPDATE*************

I just talked to my m.i.l. and she was like “ I couldn’t even sleep last night I was so pissed off…..but I have come up with an idea…..we should all go to Las Vegas for his birthday….. he’s never been, and when I told him he sounded excited…………"


You told him? Oh lawd……….. Ann is going to be PISSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDoff to the highest of pisstivity when she finds out that our mi.l. has RE-PLANNED what to do for his birthday , AND.TOLD.HIM. Also, if it goes down this way there WILL BE NO SURPRISE (like Ann had wanted).

OOOOH and WEE!!!!! She is going to hit the CEILING! But I think it’s a GREAT idea! If HE wants to do it and thinks it’s a good idea, then YOU (Ann) can plan a “SURPRISE” portion out there!!! But I understand..... NOW…..no friends (for the most part) , some family, and NO coworkers will be able to come (which was what Ann had wanted). And you she will have to fund her OWN SHIT! She AIN'T gon like that shit cause that's the VERY thing she was trying sooooooo hard to avoid!!!! Serves her right.....

And I dare Ann to say something to me about “why did you tell Jane????!” Because my thing will be, “well, I thought you woulda already told/panhandled her already, so I didn’t think I was telling her anything she didn’t ALREADY know!!”

Ooooooooooooooooh Ann is going to be pissed. **shrug** And MY AZZ ain’t answerin her phone calls either…… cause I don’t EVEN wanna hear it………


Will keep ya’ll posted! LOL

Friday, October 13, 2006


Hey ya’ll, how have ya been? I have been busier’n a 2-legged dawg trying to run to California! I am soooooo glad it’s Friday. Well, I have had a lot of time to think in between doing work (which ya know sometimes just marinating on stuff while you are working….you know, in between “work thoughts” , is all that gets ya through the day!). I was pondering on where I was 10 years ago.

Hmm…… I was po’ and broke with a degree that meant didly, wanting to move up in the work world, but having no idea where I was going. I was just beginning to enter the HR arena though I had no formal training. I was living in “da hood” of Detroit in a renovated apartment building that back in the hey day must’ve been a fancy hotel (it was a two bedroom place with only a living room , bathroom and kitchen.) because NEITHER bedroom had closets. My main bedroom was HUUUUUUUGE and the other room was pretty standard, but it was mine and I was gad to have a place that I was the first person to live in it since it was renovated. My parking was secured (there was a gate enclosure and you had to have a garage-door-opener-like remote to get in). But I wanted more……

I had (have) champagne taste on a beer budget. I like nice things just by virtue of being around a woman who like nice things (my mother). Though unlike my mother, I loved electronics, gadgets,etc. and often justified my purchases because I felt like “I am grown so I am going to buy it!!” (not good I know) I knew I was growing deeper and deeper in debt by the SECOND ,but I felt like “if I can just pay the MINIMUM payment….. I’m, cool….I’ll figure the rest out lata!”

Dumb, dumb, DUMB! And so continued my pattern Spend too much, be broke, and I mean LITERALLY BROKE having like $30 for food and gas money for 2 weeks (this WAS when gas was MUUCH cheaper and I could fill my tank for $10). But when I turned 30 I said “NO MORE!!!” and consolidated my debts and paid off the now GARGANTUAN $22,500 in Credit Card debt that I had amassed! I vowed that by the time I was 34, I would have that shit PAID off and that if I hadn’t found someone to whom I wanted to be betrothed, I would buy MYSELF a house! The month before I turned 34, I paid the last payment on the credit card debt. This was no small feat! I was also a new mother and made preparations to buy my first home! I had accomplished what I set out to accomplish!

I look at the strides that I have made in my career as well. Though, I do not feel as proud in this arena. I have been in a stagnant job for 5 years. My boss is a horrible teacher, though she has the knowledge, she wants to do allllllllllll the big stuff herself. Therefore, there is no place to grow. I have begged and pleaded for her to "show me" and I always HAVE gotten the "brush off"..... o.k.... cool.... SO I kwpt it moving. This job was the first job I have had paying me a REALLY decent wage and I grew VERRRY comfortable in this pay bracket and have become very "settled" in what I have. I know what I can get away with at this job, know the people and am so honed in on my boss's "attitude" swings that I can tell BEFORE she even says "good morning" how she is feeling and thusly what kinda day the HR dept. will have with her.

I have been coddled and pacified by the wonderful perks ( HUGE car allowance, $2k yearly medical reimbursement allowance for all bills not paid by insurance) and I have somewhat become complacent and lazy in my quest for more knowledge. You see, I have been in HR for TEN years……but I can honestly say that my skill level is like someone who has been in HR for 3 and have been a Manager for a year or two……because I have not GROWN hardly AT ALL since I have been here.My boss hordes information, so we long ago settled into the "I won't beg yo ass" and "you don't have to deny me opportunities" pattern. It was easy. I do my job, I go home. But I am tired of this "rut" of complacency that I have grown stuck in. I feel like one of those vines you see entertwined with a fence where the two have been together so long, you can barely trace where all the vines came from.

I now feel that I am ready to make the next leap and start growing again. Those of you who know my story know my boss is a HARD-ON BITCH who gives a DAMN about you OR your life outside of these 4 walls. She is pure evil in my opinion.

Moving along.......

But I am thankful to have a job. Michigan has the SECOND HIGHEST rate of unemployment in the COUNTRY. But that is no longer deterring me. I am getting back out there and since right before Thanksgiving/Christmas is a TERRIBLE time to look for a job, I will begin my search right after the holidays.

I have accomplished much in some arenas, but my career has been pushed to the side and I have stagnated my OWN damn self! And I have not accomplished what I think that I should have at my age. So, though I have accomplished some.... I still have a ways to go. My wheels, old and rusty as they may be are moving, starting to get greased up and starting move down that track again.

Back on the grind……..

Monday, October 02, 2006

Cider Mills


Since I am busier'n'hell this week due to our Open Enrollment occurring this week, I am reposting this post that I did from a year ago around this time....... And this is why I WILL NOT go too my local Cider Mill UNTIL it gets a LITTLE colder..... read on ya'll !!!

My girlfriend and I went to a Cider Mill last weekend. Actually, I had been meaning to post this but just did not have the time and forgot about this. For those of you unfamiliar with Cider Mills, they are very popular in the Midwest around this time of the year. Cider Mills are where fresh apple cider is made. It is pressed and put into jugs to be sold. Cide Mills are only open from late Aug. through the beginning of December. So if you want some cider you have a limited window. The mill that I go to is not that far from my house and is a very popular one. Not only can you get cider there, but you can get fresh warm cinnamon donuts, hot dogs, apple pie, caramel apples and an assortment of other apple-based products. There is also a shallow creek that runs right by the mill, so you can go and sit by the rocks and drink your cider and eat your donuts, etc. with your family. All products are fresh and free of preservatives and are the BOMB! On a cool fall afternoon it’s so nice to go to the Cider Mill, with it’s gorgeous scenery and cozy, relaxed atmosphere.


Except for:


*cue the music from a scene in a Star Trek episode where they leave you on the edge of your seat with a cliffhanger---to be continued*

“dun dun dun....DUD-DUH”


Let me start by saying that I have never been stung by a bee in MY LIFE, but am DEATHLY afraid of them! Anything that I can’t get away from quickly enough that can follow my ass AND hurt me, it to be feared in my eyes!

So, now take that nice vision I gave you above and add “THE BEES-----EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE”

As soon as me & my girl pulled up, I said “aaawwww FUCK! I forgot about them fucking stankin ass BEES!” There are ALLLLLLLLWAYS bees at the Cider Mill. I said “DAMN, don’t these assholes invest in Extermination services????? DAMN! You KNOW that there will be bees because of the sweet smell/taste of the apples!! Why won’t these jackasses get some roach spray or something! Jeeeesh!”

Fear immediately set in. It was probably some foreshadowing……

Sooooo…we get out of the car and immediately I see the bees, flying aroud the lot where we were, near the brook, near EVERY garbage can and DEFINITELY near the entrances to the Cider Mill. I said to myself *hmmm…there must be more of them around now than when I usually make my first trip in October, because it’s hot still and the smell travels/is more intense and draws them nearer in bigger numbers…..*

So, anywho there were two walking paths to take to go up to the cider mill itself. I quickly assessed which one had the LEAST amount of bees buzzing about and told my girl (who had not been to one before) “cool….let’s go this way…less bees”.

So, we get up to the little house-shaped apple-dwelling and go in….so we look around and get in line. As we are in line people are constantly in & out of this place, so there are a few bees INSIDE the screened door looking as if they are trying to get out. I keep it movin up the line tryin’ to get away from them since they are INSIDE (read: where the heck I AM) too!!

So, fast forward, we get our donuts and our cider and since it was still a warm summer day, they had this “cider slush” that they was a new product, and I waqnted to try it (remember it was about 85 degtees on this day)so we got a small one to share. I bought a ½ gallon of cider and she bought a quart.

So, off we go into the parking lot. So, dig if you will a picture: She gets a phone call as we leave and she’s carrying my ½ gallon of cider. She’s in front of me and I’m behind her. I have the cider slush in my left hand, my purse on my left arm ( which is one of those “open at the top with no zipper” small, bucket types of purses that CANNOT go on your shoulder because the strap is too short), and her quart of cider in my right hand. (all this detail is going somewhere….bear with me)

We’re going to the car and this BEE lands RIGHT ON THE TOP OF MY CUP OF SLUSH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHIT! I start gently waving my hand with the slush in it, ( and my purse on my arm) around trying to get the bee to go away. It doesn’t work, I wave harder. My girl is on the phone in front of me just a walkin not paying ONE bit of attention to my ass trying to stay cool, but ‘bout to go into a FIT! The bee, persistent little fucker that is was, would NOT GO AWAY! I start flailing my arm (the one with the purse on it and the slush in hand) back and forth trying to get away, all the while bobbing and weaving like I was Laila Ali, trying to get AWAAAAAAY from this damn bee! Shit is threatening to fall out of my purse (remember the purse is open at the top) and I am going fucking CRAZEEEEEEEE !!!! It STIIIIIIIIILL would NOT go away. So, I start backing up, flailing my arms and sprinting backwards, forwards and sideways TRYING to get this damn bee away from me. Now, I knew the little jackass was probably getting irritated because I was swatting at him and shit and he would come back towards me, looking like he was trying to run INTO my face and shit and I was going FUCKIN crazy! My friend was STILL ON the GATDAMN PHONE and was STILL paying me NO attention until I yelled “SAMAAAAAAAANTHAA!!!!!! HEEEEELLLLP!! YAAAAAAHHHHH” as I’m running from the fucking bee! I mean this bee stuck with me for AT LEAST 250 feet! I could NOT get away. And even when my “friend” did turn around she only turned around ¼ of the way in a “what the shit?” kinda way and kept right-the-fuck-on talking and walking as I stood there, twisting my head from side to side (picture how a dog shakes water off of it’s body) so hard that my hair was slapping me in my face! . I KNOW I was looking like a heroin-laced crack head with Turret’s !!! I was going absolutely APE –SHIT! This godamn bee would NOT leave me alone!!! All this time my girl STILL on the phone.

As we approached the car apparently the bee relented…thank God! I did NOT drop my slush and to top it OFF, when I got to the car, I was the one who had to get my keys out and open the door!! I wanted to kill my girl!!!! At that point I wasn’t convinced that the bee had not jumped on my back or something so I’m looking around like I’m a schizo that sees shit crawling on their body or something and trying to make sure his ass wasn’t around before I got in the car. Somehow I shook his ass AND salvaged the crushed, yet, drinkable cup of cider slush. Hallaleujah!

So….moral of the story…don’t go to Cider Mills when it’s hot….or without a pollinators-suit on…..

“Bee” e-z yall ………