Friday, November 30, 2007

I am trying to live this .... cause I sho'll hope he closes up this WORK door at this place I work soon! I think I'd look FORWARD to that being a done deal!!! But I better be careful of what I ask for right? LOL


We need to learn to thank the Lord for closed doors just as much as we do for open doors. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us.

If he didn't close the wrong door we would never find our way to the right door. Even when we don't realize it, God directs our paths through the closing and opening of doors. When one door closes, it forces us to change our course. Another door closes; it forces us to change our course yet again.

Then finally, we find the open door and walk right into our blessing. But instead of praising God for the closed door (which kept us out of trouble), we get upset because we 'judge by the appearances'. And in our own arrogance...or ignorance, we insist that we know what is right.

We have a very present help in the time of need because He is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of us, He can see trouble down the road and HE sets up road blocks and detours accordingly. But through our lack of wisdom we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour signs. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying 'Lord how could this happen to me?'

We have got to realize that the closed door was a blessing. Didn't He say that 'No good thing will He withhold from them that love Him? '

If you get terminated from your job - don't be down, instead thank God for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves - it might be a better job, or an opportunity to go to school. If that man or woman won't return your call - it might not be them, it might be the Lord setting up a roadblock (just let it go).

One time a person had a bank he had been doing business with for many years tell him 'NO' for a $10,000 loan. The Lord led him to call another bank. That bank approved a $40,000 loan for him at a lower interest rate than his own bank had advertised.

I'm so grateful, for the many times God has closed doors to me, just to open them in the most unexpected places. 'The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.' (Psalms 37:23) The mountain top is glorious, but it is in the Valley that I will grow!

Always Remember God gives you...
Enough Happiness to keep you Sweet
Enough Trials to keep you Strong
Enough Sorrows to keep you Human
Enough Hope to keep you Happy
Enough Failure to keep you Humble
Enough Success to keep you Eager
Enough Friends to give you Comfort
Enough Wealth to meet your Needs
Enough Enthusiasm to make you look forward
Enough Faith to banish depression, and
Enough Determination to make each day a better day than the last.

Life must be lived forward but can only be understood backwards.
Commit to the Lord in whatever you do and your plans will succeed.
(Proverbs 16:3)

Monday, November 12, 2007


I just figured out why I have been feeling the way that I have about my job. Why I am scared.....

I am constantly being asked to do more (i.e. I just had to work on this past Saturday...(yeah ya'll I did it), create a training module, being the facilitator of two other training classes (other peers are too) ) and I feel that I am not getting the money I deserve.

My girl who works with me and is in charge of almost ALL of the increase letters (EXCEPT for HR) told me that she was talking to my boss the other day about the new position that is now open on our team because someone left. Well... my boss said "I want the new person to come in in that "jr.role" like we had (me) do...even though she (me) got thrown into a "real" role and did not do the jr. position for long....."

Oh squo? I am doing the work ,have been doing the work and you realize this and yo BLACK ASS (she is black if I hadn't mentioned that before) ain't trying to get me paid (like you promised when I TOOK this job????)

Well, I guess the old addage is true..... you have to FIGHT for yourself! And now we are at the crux of the reason I am scared. I am scared that if I fight for this, bringing this up when this company is being SUPER cheap and we STILL are not doing ANY hiring except for in other states, that IF, JUST IF I am not given my just due (and being that I am armed with the secret knowledge that someone who does what I do, just had THEIR pay bumped up),IF, JUST IF the answer is no.....

I am scared that my attitude will be SO BAD that it will be evident and that I will start a downward spiral towards being "one of those employeees". You see.... you can only get over on the back of MY works for so long now that I am older. The older I have gotten, the SHORTER my tolerance is for mess like that! And I have HAD it with this company making changes LITERALLY like people change their fucking underwear and having the "you outta be HAPPY we kept you around" attitude about every.single.worker up in here!

So.... I am scared that IF I am not given my just due in the way of CASH, that until I find another job that I will not be able to HIDE my anger and resentment. I do not want to do it, but I know me and it will be EXTREMELY difficult for me to keep being REQUIRED (not given the option) to do shit and not have an attitude! I know me.... I have lived with me for a long time and now is NOT the time to get a new job (around X-mas it is ALWAYS harder to find a new job because in corporate america, it's the end-of-the-year). I do not want to get fired, but I will be very upset if this does not go my way (which I am really doubting it will given trend predictions of late).....

And I am scared that I will not be able to hide it......

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Well, me & my husband went out for the first "real" Halloween with my son. The reason I say first "real" Halloween is because he was not quite "understanding" the fun of it all last year.

So, up until the LAST 2 hours before I went to pick him up from school, I was having the "what the hell are we gonna do with him and where are we gonna take him" conversation with his Dad! We live in a suburb, and it is a predominantly black middle-class suburb righ outside of Detroit. But the thing is, these nig-ro's don;t trick or treat much around here! wtf???? I guess technically I am no better because there was NO ONE at my crib handing out candy either!

We ended up calling our friends who used to be neighbors that lived directly across the street from us and went to therir "new", more upscale neighborhood. Well, they have an 18 month old girl, so they were going trick or treating too, so we decided to tag along! It was Batman and the Ballerina! lol !

The ballerina and Batman!

Can I tell you that there were soooooo many houses to trick or treat from in their subdivision that we got tired and eventually called it a night??? That and it started to rain a little bit and though I had come prepared ( I CANNOT be caught in the rain....not with this short-ass hair cut that I CANNOT re-curl my dayum self!)we were done and my little one told me "O.K. Mommy I am ready to go back and have some pizza! I am like why is it that the black ass neighborhood (which is a nice area too) that I live in not involved in the trick or treating??????

But check it.... whyyyyy did this child want to stop and look at what he got after EVERY person handed him he was a dayum inspector! THEN!!! (oh lawd) we went to this one guy's house (it was actually the last house we went to) and he was giving out small bags of pretzels. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY did my son say "I don't WANT any pretzels" and went to place them BACK in the basket!!! I wanted to faint. I grabed them before he did and was trying to say "we will take them and eat them later" (because he had JUST eaten some earlier that day when I piked him up from school!!! WTF??????LOL). Don't you know this boy went and tried to take them AGAIN and put them back!!!! I snatched him off that porch and pinched the SHIT outta him as our friends daughter and other kids distracted the scene I was having in the dimly lit foliage away from this man's door! I said "you don't EVER act ungrateful when someone giveds you something!They do not OWE you ANYTHING!!! You WILL take it and you WILL say thank you (which he is very god at anyway) and you will NOT ask for anything else!"

On The Hunt for Candy in October!!!

I was so mad I coulda spanked him right there! I know he's only 3 and (almost)1/2, but still! I was outdone! So.... that was our evening! We went back and ate pizza and of COURSE he went to bed LATE as crap, so I wil be letting him sleep late :-)

Tired Mommy and WIRED Batman!!