Monday, July 31, 2006

Pressed for time....all the time....

Have you ever felt like there is just not enough time in a day??? Well, it seems that I have sooooo many things that I need to do and sooooo little time to do them. Top on my list of “shit I NEED to do but ain’t got the time, but I SERIOUSLY need to make the time”:

1. Exercise
2. Spend more time with my son
3. Spend more time “honing” and studying my craft (photography)
4. Learning more about money and becoming more financially savvy like “Single Ma”
5. Blogging (ha! I list this because it is a stress reliever…so I definitely NEED to do this )
6. Chillaxin’ (this one is HIGLY underrated, but I am a FIRM believer that having time to Chillax IS a need! It helps rejuvenate you!)

I mean, I have more items for this list, but I figure I’d stop here. If I could just sleep 4 hours a night, maybe I could GET more done, but I am here to tell YOU that I need AT LEAST 8-9 hours of damn sleep. Always have. I expect, always will. Even inc ollege, I used to be the one who would take a nap EVERYDAY and folks be just’a talking about me…..but I LITERALLY can’t function (consistently) on less than 6 hours of sleep on a regular basis. For real.

Take now for instance. Since my husband was gone this weekend, I didn’t get a chance to do some photo editing on a person’s pics that I took recently. Now,…. I need to get this done SOON, because I told her that it would be about a week for her to get her pictures (that week was yesterday). But with my little one requiring sooooo much attention, there was NO WAY I could focus on doing it this weekend, and once he went to sleep….. I was worn out! So, I can soooo see how single parents are TI.RED. So, I need to hustle to get this down tonight so I can get the pics printed to HOPEFULLY get them to her by Wednesday. (but that is 3 days over my due date!! **SIGH**) Neeeeeeed more time in the day.

I wish I had one of those “time stoppers” like they have in the movies! LOL

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Being a black man is hard in America. We hear this everyday, no? And, as a therapist once told me (yup…been to one before) :

How you think, how you react to situations, how you treat your loved ones, what your morals are, and basically you in general is a DIRECT result of what you were TAUGHT as a child, taught being by example and by direction.

I really believe that. I think that is why a lot of women are told “look at how a man treats his momma… can bet he’ll treat you that way”. I know you all have heard that many times before. The meaning of that is clear: if he were TAUGHT to respect women, more than likely he will do just that for the rest of his life (yes, there are exceptions I know..). But I firmly believe, what you are taught to value in your VERY early, formative years sticks with you.

So, since we have some basics outta the way here’s my topic of the day, How, why and when is it O.K. to chastise little boys for not liking “manly” things or for exhibiting less than “manly” ways when it comes to displays of emotion.

Lemme ‘splain. If a little girl (say 3 years old) cries….we comfort her and we soothe her , but if a little boy cries, he may be told to “shake it off” or to (in some instances which I think are wrong) told something as harsh as, “stop crying like a little bitch!” or they get called names, or “since you cry like a little girl, I’ll treat you like a little girl….wanna Barbie little girl….”. I think it is TOTALLY wrong to degrade little boys and to dog them for showing that they have feelings. That puts it in their head that displays of emotiona are WEAK and they eventually tie it into thinking that those who do it (mostly women) are weak too! I heard this man going off on his LITTLE 3 year old son the other day, calling him girlie names and dogging him because he was crying. To me, that coulda been handled another way. But I also saw him talking to his wife in a rough, dictatorial kinda of way too. Yeah, O.K……. that shit woulda gone over like a STANKIN-ASS fart in church with me! You WILL NOT dog me or my baby to make your point!

Now, I also understand that you do now want your young man to grow up and be ridiculed by OTHER “macho men” for having too showy of a display of feelings. No doubt there is a fine line on how to raise little boys to be sensitive and manly at the same time, because in our current society , those terms are oxymoron’s.

I still do not believe that it is O.K. to make a boy feel bad about being somewhat sensitive towards others and showing that he cares. It simply gives them a complex and makes them less able to deal with conflict in the future through sharing (typically a way of dealing attributed to women, but effective in NOT letting shit be all pent up) and MORE likely to resort to frustration, internal confusion and just shutting down in general. This is another reason (in my opinion) that so MANY men must LEARN to “talk about it”. Women are taught it from birth. And in today’s society you hear all the time “don’t let stress stay pent up….stress causes heart attacks, strokes, diabetes…..shortens your life span…”. So, why would RELEASING those frustrations through emotion or feeling be bad????? OHHHHH , I forgot…only “gay men” do that right? No. I would PREFER for my man to talk to me and not clam up and shut me out and be able to DEAL with it in a healthy way (other than punching a boxing dummy’s brains out). Knowing how to deal with YOURSELF and teaching a boy how to effectively deal with his emotions is FAR more important than satisfying some “macho code of the wild: that most men subscribe to.

So, do I want my son to be called a punk? No. Do I want my son to be disadvantaged in terms of his being able to assimilate with other men as an adult? No. But do I want him to KNOW how to handle emotions healthily? FUCK YES!.

In my (unofficial) opinion, I think that little boys being INCORRECTLY taught how to respond to their feelings is WHY there are so many misogynistic, macho, sexist, a-womans-place-is-in-the-kitchen-or-the-bedroom type of men. After all, if the fathers or the mother’s are TEACHING or SHOWING their sons that it is O.K. to dog any type of display of emotion and women in general, how do you think they’ll turn out as men? Probably not nice or it will just take them A LOT of “work” being done on themselves to RELEARN how to deal! I understand, as I said before, that you do NOT want your young man (or young woman for that matter) to go around crying at every little bump or slight of their feelings. But I do not think degrading them or beating them because they SHOW feelings is good either. I think parents that do that are disadvantaging them more than not.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Misc..... Tuesday

I have been pondering on many miscellaneous thoughts:

Why do women wear skirts that are sheer as shit with nothing to camouflage your ENTIRE ass? Didn't yo momma teach you betta?? Apparently not.

And WHYYYYYYYY did I see this little girl (looked to be about 10) in a WHITE sheeeer skirt and I could see EVERY.STICH.OF.HER.LITTLE.GIRL.DRAWS underneath. It was like she had on a piece of clear Saran Wrap or something. A pedophile woulda hadda FIELD DAY looking at her! A DAYUM shame...... But her momma looked a hotfire mess too..... so there ya go.....

Why is it that when my boss, her boy (might as well say “my other boss”) and wobbles are out, does she call me like I am a 5 year old who was left at home alone. She calls to “check in”and “make sure everything is O.K.”. Which usually results in her talking to me way too long (see: longer than 1.5 seconds) and give me dumbass information about NOTHING. She does it ALL THE TIME! Even IF I am not the only one in our group, here in this office, she calls. I’m like “BITCH! Don’t you think if shit was on fire or falling apart , that I’d call yo stupid ass???”

DAMN!!! I am potty trained ya know???? She just called since I am the only one in our group and left the following message:

“ Hi Robyn, I am on my way to the Flint office and I was just checking in to make sure everything was O.;K……I didn’t have any messages on my v.m., but I was just checking in…..”

What bitch, were ya checking to make sure I didn’t go home early???? WTF??? If that was the case, you could call your office spies to find out what I’m doing. But noooo… call me and have inane ass conversations in which I have to answer DUMB ASS questions:

“ So, are you LONELY back there all by yourself?”

“NOOOOOO….. I’m just fine”


And then she proceeds on her little dmbass tirade of dumb ass shit that she talks about. I’m sooo sick of her

And the quest for a new job continues…….

Well….. my husband is going to Washington , D.C. along with about 10 gazillion members of Alpha Phi Alpha, sooo it’s just me & the boy this weekend! Guess we’ll have some real Mommy/son time! I think we’ll go visiting and to the zoo….

Thursday, July 20, 2006


Did you guys know that it is HARD to find a job when you work in the city with the SECOND worst unemployment rate in the country?? I haven’t been as diligent as I should have, but I ALSO have put my resume out for some pretty good positions that were asking for JUST what I have in terms of qualifications! **sigh** But, being IN HR currently, I knooow the name of the game: Get somebody over qualified, pay them less. And I press on……

Interestingly enough, I saw my ex-boss who was a horrible tyrant and who I blasted in my exit interview with my HR boss before I left. Well, I saw him at a former mutual co-worker’s wedding last Saturday. Now, I have seen him before though it has been some time. He is in a fraternity and my ex, who was also in the same frat, took me to a frat function and my ex-boss was there. I saw his ass and IMMEDIATELY took note of WHEREVER he was in the room , so as to avoid even acknowledging him by mistake. Folks, he made my life a living hell. For real. To give you an example, he was one ot those types of bosses that made YOU justify (not just me, but even his GIRL who was a director there and he had a personal friendship outside of work with) why you should get a raise. I mean, and would ask dumbass questions that were retarded to have to answer. Like: “so, why should I give you a raise?” or (this is the one he asked me)“So…… how do you think your performance has been over the past year……(I give my answer)….. Uh huh…..o.k,, so do you think that you should get a raise, a decrease in salary or should your salary stay the same?”

WTF? What in the FUCK kinda dumbass question was that????? By the time I lef that place, I hated him and I think the feeling of disdain was mutual.

SO, we see each other at this function and we were , at one point, standing not MORE than 10 feet from each other and were BOTH totally ignoring each other. I didn’t speak, he didn’t speak. Fucking fine with me. Asshole. I saw him another time and I totally avoided his ass again. I need not speak to those who wish me no good will. I don’t even want you in my AIR space!

So, fast forward to my girls wedding this past weekend. The first thing I asked my other ex-co-worker (who I was going to the wedding with) was: Is ****** going to be here???????!!! She was like “I’m not sure…..since I don’t work there anymore, I have no idea either”.

So, I’m waiting and waiting, no show for the wedding. GREAT! YEA! We walk into the fucking reception and here he comes. SHIT!! Not only does he come, he and his wife sits RIGHT Behind us at another table! UGHHHHHHHHH!!! I dislike that man sooooooooo much that I was HOPING that he would be FAR across the room (it was a big reception) from my ass! No such luck. I didn’t want to speak, but eventually, he spoke to me, shook my hand and made small chit chat. Why, later after dinner, etc. did I get up to go make a call to come BACK and find him in MY SEAT talking to the people at my table???? I guess he was uncomfortable coming over there until I left since there was that bad blood between us. Punkass.

So, I sit down on the other side of him because I told him to stay and talk when he offered to get up and cut his convo. short with my girl. Nooooooooooo…. Don’t let it be MY fault that you didn’t get a chance to talk to her. Tallllllk…..go ahead. So, I sit down, he then turns to me. Telling me he heard I had a baby, and that I’d gotten married, and what am I doing now, and about his son and daughter who are at Morehouse and Spelman respectively and that he bets I (and I quote) “I bet you have a cute lil baby” , and how I should call him and he’ll take me out for lunch or drinks or what the fuck ever…….just a babbling! I did SOOOOOOOOO WELL (Please testify to this Zed) to even have sat there and STOMACHED this bullshit. See… thing about me…..when you do me WRONG and are an ASSHOLE,I WILL.HOLD.THAT.SHIT.FOR.FUCKING.EVER as a grudge and you will never get a chance to do it again. That is why when I leave THIS bitch, I DO NOT EVVVVVVVVVVA HAVE TO see this waynch (that would be wench) again! For real. Iw anted to tell him that it would be an ICE COLD, 900,000 degree below day in hell before I would call him to go to “lunch” or whatever. Puh-lease. See, after I left, he got this CRAZY hoe who knew NOTHING and was horrible! But you blamed me for being a first time HR manager and not knowing all the ins and outs, but this hoe was CRAZY, had family problems and was WORSE than me! Serves yo ass right.

So, I sat there listened and laughed internally, because my girl that I went to the wedding with, not 4 months after I left (almost 5 years ago) said that he said “ You know…..I was a lil hard on Robyn…..she really wasn’t that bad”

Karma’s a bitch ain’t she.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

After the party....

Happy “after the 4th” everybody!!!

What’s happening? Well, I am chill-axin since I work for a contractor of the “Big 3”. I am off for part of the “shut-down” period. For those of you unfamiliar, the Big 3, Chrysler, GM and Ford have what is called a “shut-down” period twice a year, in July and at Christmas time. The one at Christmas time is usually about a week to a week and a half (all depending on what day Christmas falls on and we’ve been getting straight GANKED over the last couple years cause it’s been falling on f’ed up weekend days! So, no extra days for us!) Anyway, this is the time where the assembly, stamping and service parts plants are re-tooled a nd given an overhaul. Hence they need to TOTALLY shut down the plants to do so. Soooo……because the group I work for ONLY services GM & Delphi, we shut down WITH them. Now, the shut down in July is 2 weeks and it used to be (and this is fucked up) that you USE YOUR OWN vacation to pay yourself during those weeks, or just be unpaid.

Hold up. I can’t work and am MANDATED to be off BY YA’LL but I HAVE TO use up the ONLY vacation I get (because up until recently, my ass only GOT two weeks a year!). So, MY VACATION is really not MINE, because it is MANDATED that (if I wanna get paid…which I cannot afford NOT TO get paid for them two weeks just to take some vacay another time) I use up my ONLY vacation!!! That ain’t right. Maybe I am asking for too much, but what if I wanna go out of town with my family at SOME OTHER POINT in the year????? I am just short, huh?? (cause my stank ass boss DAMN SHO won’t let you use your “sick “ days for anything other than just that). So, I guess I am just short,…..there goes the trip to the Bahamas in September or in March or any other time not in conjunction with this shit.

OOOOOH. O.K. I am off my rant, because I am VERY happy that this year it is only mandated that I take off one week. So, I am off this week. Also, since so many people were going NEGATIVE in terms of vacation accrual, they began to give us personal days, so I hava actually had TO USE no VACATION (good thing cuz I ain’t got much! LOL)

So, I am chillin at home and am glad for it! I plan to get some estimates on basement refinishing while I am off and have my photography mentor give me some “tips” on my work

So, we put the baby big boy in a new daycare on last Thursday. Well, that was his “test day” and why did I get a call at about 2pm saying “Hi, Mrs. BabyMonkey’s mom, this is Ms. J from the daycare (the director) , and I just wanted to you know that Dylan was running and bumped his head on a bookshelf , so he has a little bump on his head…..we put ice on it, and he’s fine, but we just wanted you to know.

So, I’m thinking “Damn boy! You ain't been there 5 seconds and you got a boo-boo! “ So, I went to get him and he was fine. Sooo….the next day (Friday, June 30) was his last day at the old daycare. WHY did my husband go get him to find out that he was running and had “fallen on some concrete”. His face looked like a worse version of this:

He fell and scraped his cheek and hit his head AGAIN in the SAME.PLACE that he had hit it the day before!!!! OH JESUS!!!! So, his face was initially WAAAAY worse than this. His cheek was swollen ALL to hell and it was SO puffy that it slightly closed his eye up!! You KNOW I was mad as FUCK!

Yeah, Yeah, I knoooooooow that boys will be boys and all that shit, but see, that’s one of the reasons that I didn’t LIKE him being there ANYWAY! You got LITTLE kids playing on/near concrete!! They can BARELY walk, but they could potentially have an accident and fuck themselves up ROYALLY! Whatever. They loved on him while he was there but I had honestly been uncomfortable about their asses for a minute, but shook some of it off as me being an “overprotective” momma. NO MORE!

So, he starts to feel better, the sore starts to heal……..

And we go to Sam’s Club. This woman and her granddaughter and husband are there with a little dog and since my child LOOOOOVES dogs, he was all in, as we got into the car in the parking lot. So, the woman is like “oh, he’s too cute……oh sweetie, what happened, did you fall down?” So, I go on to tell her what happened and she asked in a very easy way “did you take him to the emergency room?”. Me and my husband answer in unison “no……” and she goes “ I would take him if I were you because that type of bruising……and I am saying this because I am a physician……. Might mean that he had a slight fracture

***Hold up*** did she say “FRACTURE”

“…of the ____ bone (the bone that is right below your eye)…...because I can see that it almost looks like a black eye…and if it is slight, you may not even know it and it could cause him to have minor vision problems in the future”.

Hold my mule…… I’m about to go KICK THE DOOR of the daycare IN and set fire to that bitch if my child has a fuckin fracture in his FACE!

Me and my husband thank them, scoop up our child and take him IMMEDIATELY to the ER. We had not taken him because we were thinking if it were fractured SURELY he’d be screaming and would not let us touch it, so we kept checking the area by poking an prodding his face to see what reaction we got. He never cried or even stopped us, so we were pretty O.K. that he had not broken his face, …..that is until we saw that lady!

So, to get to the point we went to the ER and the dr’s (plural) examined him and said that he was fine. They did NOT do an X-ray of his face because they said that they do not like to irradiate small children’s faces because of the potential damage to growing glandular areas in the head (pituitary, thalamus, hypothalamus, thyroid, etc). So, they did do a thorough exam on him.

See…..his wounds are healing after only 3 days……

but, I swear, I’m keeping this documentation because IF some dumb shit happens and they relate it back to an “old” injury, ya’ll won’t have to wait to hear it on the blog……you’ll see me on COPS.

Have a great day ya’ll