The Late Procrastinator

As the old saying goes “the early bird gets the worm” or was it “better late than never”? Yeah, that’s it! I subscribe to the latter. You seem I am horribly afflicted with the “CPT disease”…..yup…… I just CAN’T seem to be on time. Here, lemme ‘splain….

I have a boss who is a micromanaging jackass. I am a manager. I am an exempt employee. Yet, she ROUTINELY nickel-n-dimes me about being 3-5 minutes late. This (probably due to the fact that I could definitely be a case study in “reverse psychology”) just makes me REALLY not put forth the effort to be here early. Because that kind of time frame is negligible. Yeah I know it’s the “principle” and it’s the “rules”. But in my opinion, if you value your employees,something such as 5 minutes should NOT be noted, cited, catalogued and preserved in your tiny little brain.

Most of this is probably because she and I OFTEN have different takes on things and I ROUTINELY challenge the dumb-shit she does, so this is par for the course with me & her. But it really makes me NOT want to be here 5 minutes or even 10 minutes before hand. Me being 5 minutes late is just petty. But here’s the deal as well, I HAAAAAAAATE being around her soooooooooo much, that I do NOT WANT to be even 1 MINUTE early for work!!! But I am getting off of the subject matter.

I find it difficult to be early or on time. It’s really a terrible fault I have. I am not like 30-40 minutes late when I am supposed to meet someone, but I might be RIIIIIIIIIGHT on the nose or a leeeeetle, wee bit late.

As well, I am a HORRIBLE procrastinator, much to the irritation of my boss. She occasionally points out that “ I should NOT wait until the last minute to write my charges (that she wants to read before I send them out)”. Look…. I write very well. I do NOT NEED your azz to do every “i” and cross every “t” I just don’t. So, I am of the position that I really do NOT care if YOU are irritated because I am doing this when I am comfortable doing it AND before the deadline. This is one thing that I am NEVER late on. Writing responses to the Dept. of Civil Rights or EEOC charges. Them mofo’s don’t play and a fine could mean my ass! So, we don’t play with that.

However, I am (and have AAAALWAYS been ) a person that works better under pressure. If you give me 6 weeks to do a project, if I were forced to do it in the first few weeks, the product you’d get would resemble cow dung. Because if it’s too far in advance, I have no sense of urgency, therefore I have a lack of attention to the task at hand. But gimme something that’s due in 4 days…… I can probably get it done in 1, but that 4 day window is juuuuust enough for me to work at an accelerated-leisurely, but steady pace. Then the product will be lovely, because I was focused. I just cannot “FOCUS” * picture me squinting and pursing lips* if it’s too far in advance.

One day, I’ll get better….maybe

Catch ya on the rebound,
r.