Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Presidential Asskissing

Hello good bloggers!

I am here to rant today :-) If there is one thing that I realize more and more about myself and my likes and dislikes, it is that I HATE, ABHOR and VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE ass-kising. Personally, I think that it's because the older I get the more I see the intracacies of the corproate work-world for what it is....a bunch of ass-kissing, assholes, who are trying to step on your head, slit your throat or just generally fuck you up to get ahead.

I hate playing this game.

As a matter of fact, I have rebuffed the notion that I should HAVE to play this game. First of all, I am the type of person (at work)that does NOT trust damn near ANYONE. My girl "Sexxicat" is the only one. She is an exception though and she is black. There is much to be said for that last statement which I will explain in a later tangent. In general, I have found that white people and black people look at things VERRRRY differently (I know, I know.....what was my first clue,right?). And this extends into EVERYTHING!!!

I now know why my grandmother just "let it fly" when it came to expressing herself at age 82. IT was because she had probably gotten SICK AND TIRED of tip-toing around muthafucka's for a nice portion of her adult life! I used to always be the one (around whites I work with) who thought "you are innocent until proven guilty". No more. White folks will fuck ya up and say some shit sometimes (i feel) on purpose and sometimes just out of STUPIDITY and sometimes just because. I trust no one.....

I swear!! For example, if you know my boss is an unreasonable bitch, why would you say something (OBVIOUSLY to fuck me up) to fuck me up??? Lemme give you a real life example: I was talking to my girl Sexxicat(who is black) and Idiot1 walks by...no problem. So he just happend to walk BACK by when I was talking to Sexiicat again. Now, if you know me, you've heard many a diatribe on the ills of my boss and how much I REALLY dislike this heffa. She is irritating, micromanaging, fake, nosey and a wanna-be. What is a wanna-be int his case?? A wanna-be-seeming-like-you're-my-friend-but-you'll-tell-ALLLLLL-my-business-as-soon-as-I-turn-around-to-anyone-you-feels-need-to-know kinda bitch. This ASSHOLE says "Dang! Didn't I LEAVE YOU RIGHT THERE talking to her an hour ago??" This jackass said it loud enough for our boss to hear the shit. The reason why this is a problem is because just from my boss HEARING something like that, it would be filed away and catalogued OR she would call me or Sexxicat into her office and have a "talk" with us abut how people "perceive" us.... fuck a gatdamn perception! Give me the real! hhmmph! And because Sexxicat and I work for the same bitch and Sexxi'c cube is right outside (albeit mostly out of view) of our bosses office, what this ass said was that much MORE offensive and purposeful! And he KNOWS that she's bitch. After all hs sits in the same area that we do and is privy to her stupid antics and our arguments. So, his ass DEFINITELY knew!

But though Sexxi sits close to our boas, we can still have "whisper-chatter" and my stankin-ass boss not know unless she was looking at us or if some asshole said something like Idiot1 did!! And like I said before, my boss is nosey enough to the point that she WOULD come out or at least look to see who was talking. JUST lucky for us, my boss wasn't in her office. I started to LIGHT THIS MUTHAFUCKA on fire! But he is the type of smart-assed individual that if you say something smart (like I wanted to say "woo-hoo....I guess they DID give you that position as hall monitor, huh?") he would come back at you with ANOTHER smart-assed comment and then that woudl incite the demon in me and....... well you see where I'm going (not to mention he is a "director" (of what I'd like to know because all he does is sit at a danm computer trying to listen to conversations.....no typing....just sitting.....QUIET AS A STATUE. what the fuck are you doing? playing on the damn internet...probably, just like me... hee hee). So I said nothing and just let his dumb-ass walk on by.....but I was HOT! He knew what the fuck he was saying! Why ares you so fucused on MY BUSINESS???? Why? Because he is bound by a different set of rules ...."white folks work rules"......

So...back to the topic of this post. Our president's birthday is tomorrow. *crickets* Do you think I give a damn??? Yeah , he's nice and all, but O.K.......

So, these ass-bitin (white folks) have put up ballons, banners, streamers, table clothed the front cabinet (in preparation no doubt, for a cake), puffy mini-baloons,put up placards with "Happy 45th" on it, confetti and other miscellaneous decorations.

Now, at the risk of sounding like a hater.....do they think that they will 1. get a raise 2. garner any favors 3.be remembered an hour after the party . I have no such misconceptions. It's simply not going to happen The president is nice enough, but such vulgar displays of asskissing just nauseate me.

I am soooo not a hater, I just do NOT see the purpose in kissing the damn president's ass! I am think that I am soooooo over the whole "corporate" thing and am just feeling crotchety and funk-ety. For no good reason.

So, tomorrow.....let them eat cake....

I don't want none *nose tooted up to the sky*

7 comments:

Knockout Zed said...

Diva,
You know I agree with you, right? But at this new job, I'm the recipient of major asskissing. So I can't completely hate it, but I don't respect any participant. Any bitch or nigga who kisses my ass instantly get put in my mental file as a person I can't trust. Period. I wish more executive-types thought that way instead of buying into false flattery because of their enormous egos.

KZ

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brooklyn babe said...

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The Humanity Critic said...

I agree, asskissing is a pet peeve of mine. Unless my butt os the one that is being kissed and Rosario Dawson is the one puckering up..lol

brooklyn babe said...

just actually read this... corporate america, should be renamed to corp-crab-merica..
Cause all it is is crabs in a barrel, pulling you down...

and micromanagers should be made to count office supplies all day everyday, and we should drop by their desk with odd lot numbers of pens, paperclips, tacks and shit like that. Give them something to do.

P.S. Love the music, and your post on Zed's blog was pure comedy!!!

LadyLee said...

Hey now, this not only happens in the corporate world, it happens in the scientific world also...

I told my boss that I am brilliant, and I don't have to kiss ass. When the "higher-uppers" start manufacturing the air I breathe, then maybe. But until then, they can all go sit on a tack! (LOL)