Prince got a hairy booty!

Have you ever smelled a man that was so funky that you had to get up and LEAVE the area and you were left wondering “doesn’t HE smell himself”??? Or ladies, have you ever smelled the pussy-funk of a girl that either had been wearing some pantyhose WITHOUT draws on or was just plain STANKIN? (I don’t care WHAT you say, that little snatch of doubled-up nylon in the crotch portion of pantyhose does NOT a panty make!!! That shit inevitably ALLLLLLLLLLLWAYS leaves yo’ ass-crack FUNKY AS HELL and (a la da brat…so oooo-oooo, so ooo-ooo, so ooo-ooo fundafiiiiiiiied)!!! EVEN IN THE WINTER!!! I’m sorry, and this is for small girls, big girls ….WHOEVER!) I don’t know WHYYYYYYYYY hoes think that their little coochies are just the freshest things since Massengill after being trapped up in some shit that DON’T BREATHE???? Da hell???? I have smelled both (not by choice, but because da funk was trying to escape from it’s “bondage” and I’m like “what in the HELL possessed her to NOT put on any draws” or in the men’s case, what in da HELL made you think we wanted to smell yo pits and if I can smell it…. you can too!! At least “check yo’self” before you expose me to this funk-tasticness!!!!

Since I have an unusually keen since of smell, I can get a WIFF of any kind of funk and damn-near pinpoint it’s origin. I have been around tooooooooo many women (in locker rooms, changing rooms,etc.) and they could just be changing their clothes and I’ll catch “the wiff” and will then think to myself “damn yo ass stanks!” I HAAAAAAAATE smelling other hoes pussy-funk. Hell, I hate smelling MINE ! Which is why if I even THINK I am funky “down there” I will politely excuse my-damn-funky-self and go “freshen-up”. There is NOOOOOOOOO reason for grown folks to be funky and act like they don’t know it.

Now, as for guys, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

MEN: TRIM THAT GATDAMN NAPPY-ASS BUSH UNDER YOUR ARMS

That shit is not 1. sexy 2. attractive 3. cute 4.appealing or 5. odor-reducing.
And for the purposes of this discussion, I am focusing on #5. I can’t stand wanting to be close to my man and have him put his arm around my shoulder only to have my eyes, lips and nose be greeted by a gigantic bush of black and white (from the deodorant) hair!!! Don’t ya’ll know that THAT shit is a turn-off for most of us??? Hell, I will have broke out in a damn rash on my face and in my nose fucking around with yo underarm forest! And to top it off, due to the ginormous distance between the skin and the deodorant (thanks to the bush) there is very LITTLE work being done by the deodorant. It’s sititing on TOP of the hair!! Please, for the love of all that is fresh and CLEAN, CUT THAT BUSH!!!

I can hear those of you like Zed’s ass who are proclaiming emphatically “fuck that! I ain’t cutting SHIT”. Well, I guess ya’ll will continue to have funky ass underarms and yellow sweat stains in shirts because of some inane ass macho-bullshit idea that “real men don’t cut their underarm/pubic hair”. Well, funk on ya’ll, funk on!

The idea that it is not macho to TRIM (I didn’t say shave the ENTIRE shit off…which in MY opinion would be LOV-ELY) the shit is utterly ridiculous!!! It’s so much of a better look too. Be a little metrosexual….it’s O.K……it ain’t all that bad guys. That goes for the pubic’s too. No woman wants a mouthful of funky ass ball-hair!!!! You want some head.... I want a you to trim your nut-hair! But that’s a whooooooole nutha topic (I know Zed….I’ll get to it tomorrow maybe) But it’s the truth…… Hair breeds bacteria in moist conditions. And what is more prone (other than twats and balls) to be moist BUT underarms!

But hey….if this idea caught fire, it could REVOLUTIONIZE the deodorant industry. All of a sudden the “funkiness factor” would be cut in half!! There would be no NEED for companies to research *new and improved* ways to fight “odor and wetness”. I have the solution RIGHT HERE for MANY of these cases!

1. Cut the hair
2. Put on deodorant that fights odor and wetness.
Problem solved.
DAMN I’m a genius!!!!

Now of course there would be those with the embedded-funk. That calls for more extereme measures of bathing and soaking, but all in all, I think we’d have 50% of the funkies beat! Same for women. I don’t care HOW you do it, wear some draws, use some FDS if you know ya ass is funky-stank-nasty and make the world a better place for you and me.

Stink you very much,
r.