Friday, July 29, 2005

You can't START Pimpin' at 60.

O.K. ya'll, I just had lunch with the husband and as we were sitting there, I saw this guy who I SWEAR was attempting to make a change in his career. You see, this man HAD To be trying to be start "the next phase" of his life as a pimp. This nigro had a hair do and I swear that nigga's hair looked like this...... No lie ya'll..... the nigga's hair was the SAME color as this birds.......where's a camera phone when you need one!! And the nigga was ALLLLL of 65 years old. The nigga also had the "wish-I-had-good-hurrr" plastered in waves on top o' da head, the 1/2 shaded sunglasses and the pinky ring ta boot. Now, he's on the cell phone talking to this (obviously ) a woman and it seemed like he was checking her. This nigga was CHECKING somebody!!!! Now I couldn't totally hear the convo, but minutes later he was on the phone with ANOTHER bitch....dayum playa.....

Now, I'm all about those endowed with age gettin' their freak on, but dayum! Pimpin (or being pimped)at 60 ain't sexy.....

Dig the outfit that was havin' a fit: This nigga had on a white and orange and gold "silky slim" shirt. Had the burnt orange pants AND (O.K. ya'll know Detroit is home of the Gata' that is, not the team) this nigga had on the Crispy Burnt Orange GATA's baby!!! He just KNEW he was doing.the.damn.thang!!! OOOH WEE! Hot. ass. mess. (at least he was matching)

Here's a few thangs to avoid and reasons why yo natural black ass should NOT start pimpin at 60.

1.Yo hoe's is old. And pussy ain't like don't get "finer" after a certain age....And if you got young hoes, they probably keepin YO ass in check more than you keeping THEIR ASS in check.

2. Old hoes don't sell ass that well....they're tired buddy.

Old hoe 1: Girl my feets is hurtin' I'mma rub some Ben Gay on em an' see
if dat do 'em some good.

Old hoe 2: Now you know you be done tow up somethin' just trying to
bend down, leave yo damn feets alone! Besides, I can't have
you fucking up my shit wit'cho stankin ass smelly like
hot grease and menthol

Old hoe 1: Bitch, fuck you! I swear I'mma knock them wooden ass teeth
out'cho head!

Old hoe 2: Bitch please, I'll knock slap yo damn titties so hard they'll
slap the flo and hit'chu in the back of yo head. You don't know
who you fuckin wit.(out of breath).....

Old hoe 1: Awww...fuck it bitch, I'm gone.....fucking wit'chu done made me
miss taking my geritol AND my Metamusil...

3. You shouldn't be gettin' paid by your hoes on the SAME day that your Social Security Check comes in.

4. 4 words. Viagra ain't for everybody. You willa(yeah I said it) fucked around and put'cho eye out or had some kind of ginormous heart attack fucking wit that stuff. *shaking head*

5. When that wig get's all twisted to the side in between tricks....that ain't sexy....

6.Gravity in general ain't on yo side, cause shit don't "srping back" like it used to, bruh.

7. YOU just need to sit'cho "60 seconds away from being a statistic in the obituaries" ass down someplace. Put the Grecian formula away and step away from the Pimp Cup Iceberg Slim...........

8. See.....fucking old hoes means problems..... old lady problems.... osteoporosis, they fightin with Arthur & Rhuemy (arthritis & rhuematoid arthritis), glaucoma, cataracts, dental issues (dick sucking could be a hazard....), dryness(eek....need I say more? Nothing worse than "chafing"), and the list goes on......

O.K., so I have illustrated the good, good reasons,why pimpin at 60 ain't good.... in fact it's bad, very bad.....

Can I get a pinky in the air on that?


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nope said...


I'm sorry for being intrusive in to your blog. But I am Melissa and I am a mother of two that is just trying to get out of an incredible financial debt. See my hubby is away in Iraq trying to protect this great country that we live in, and I am at home with our two kids telling bill collectors please be patiant. When my husband returns from war we will beable to catch up on our payments. We have already had are 2001 Ford repossessed from the bank, and are now down to a 83 buick that is rusted from front to back and the heater don't work, and tire tax is due in November.

I'm not asking for your pitty because we got our ownselfs into this mess but we would love you and thank you in our prayers if you would just keep this link on your blog for others to view.

God Bless You.

Melissa K. W.
To see my family view this page. My Family

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