Friday, January 06, 2006

Rush to work and opinions

This post is a double post really rolled into one so.......

DISCLAIMER: This is a lonnnng post….. so bear with me

I was coming into work today and I was heading toward the escalator as I usually do. There’s always a throng of people trying to beat each other in a rush to get to their respective desks ( it almost seems like some secret million-dollar game where if you have the fastest time from shuttle-to-desk, you win! LOL). The building I work in is a huge building (for those of you in Detroit, I work in the Ren Cen)which has 6 main towers, 4 of which have 39 floors each of which each floor houses approx 130 people. You do the math. The other tower are probably 20 floors or so of equal spacing. This facility also has a 70-something floor Mariott hotel in the middle. So, as you can tell, there are a gazillion people constantly coming and going during the day….especially around the 8:00am hour. Well, we have shuttles that bring us hither and tither from the parking structure as we park a couple blocks away.

And it has aaaaaaaalways amazed me that whites and a lot of blacks alike (but mostly the whites)hit the ground damn near RUNNING, almost knocking folks over once they get off the shuttle just to get to their offices! It’s just how the atmosphere is. It’s amazing. It’s the stupidest display of “I gotta look like I am really interested in getting to this muthafucka at the crack’a dawn’s ass” that I have ever seen! No lie, you can feel a breeze rush past you if you are not damn near trotting alongside most of these early-bird-get’s-the-wormer’s. For me, it just ain’t that deep. Though I am EXTREMELY thankful to have a job with Detroit having the HIGHEST unemployment rate in the entire country, I also know that the damn work will be there when I GET there and there is no reason to bust out the gates to get there.

FLASHBACK:Hmmm….this story reminds me of the time a couple years ago, when my stankin ass boss said that it “seemed” that I don’t have a “SENSE OF URGENCY” because I walk at a NORMAL, but more slowly (than the rest of these irritating, anxious white folks) when I’m on my way, minding and taking care of my fuckin business throughout the day, doing whatever it is, I am doing. Bitch please! The rapidity of my gait has NOTHING to do with my sense of urgency and is in NO MUTHAFUCKING WAY an indicator of such. Dumb-ass-bitch. I just stood there and looked at her, like “bitch, you CAN’T be serious and you’d BETTER now try to use that shit against me in my annual review”.

O.K., I’m back…..

But as I was saying these folks are too funny (actually they are too stupid). But I also attribute this to my “white folks are just plain and simply (for the most part) different than black folks”. Stuff they get their draws in a bunch over, most black folks ain’t trippin on.

Anywho….opinions…… everyone has them right…they’re like assholes. I know. But when is it O.K. for an opinion to be considered offensive? I am not talking about something blatant like

“you are stupid as fuck”
“You look like a fat bastard”

Or even
“Damn, you’s a cock-eyed son-of-a-gun”

I’m speaking of a bit more subtle differences in the way we lead our everyday lives.

Lemme ‘splain…. I have a friend who recently had a baby. She lives one mile from me. I have known here since we were 14. In high school we were always together to the point that if you saw one, you’d pretty much see the other. We were roommates in college for 2 years also, and though we don’t see each other as much, and aren’t technically as close (i.e. we don’t talk every day, and until she had got pregnant, we kinda drifted into talking only every other week or so), she’s still considered by me to be one of my closest friends.

I’d offered to let her use my baby bassinet since I know how it is to have a new baby, be sore as hell, and the baby’s room just seems like sooooo far away at 3am when you as a new momma are wondering “Is his lil ass BREATHING….I can’t HEAR shit on the monitor”. So, I know the invaulableness of a bassinette. But….. I know it’s not for everyone. Pre-baby, she was like “nah…. We’re cool…we’ll just use the crib”. Cool, no problem. The night she got HOME from the hospital with the baby, she calls and is like “uh….. I think I want the bassinette”. Again, cool, no prob.

So, now, it’s 2 ½ months later. She’s done with it and they want to return it. Cool. They wanted to return it the day before we were leaving for Atlanta. She’s like “Yeah, ____ (her husband) has pulled it out from the basement and it’s sitting in the front vestibule as GUARANTEE that we’ll go ahead and get it to you guys *laughter*” Well, I got some kinda nasty-ass food poisoning that left me SICK AS A DYING DOG the 2 days before (which by the way I wasn’t even 1/2-way RIGHT, colon-wise until WELL into my Atl. trip). My girl & her hubby wanted to come on that night. Well, they didn’t call and I was sick, so I wasn’t pressed. So the next day (I wasn’t even thinking about it and I didn’t hear from them and me & my hubby went to sleep early.

We get back from Atl. and she called me and said that they wanted to get the bassinette to us. O.K…… So a day or so passes, we’re chillin and didn’t feel like having company or even talking to anyone.

Hold up. This is where I explain myself….I have always been one who believes that if I don’t feel like talking to you, I am not going to answer the phone. Nothing AGAINST you, but maybe I’m in a bad mood, maybe I’m with my son,maybe I just plain DON’T WANT to be bothered! But I’m NOT going to pick up the phone, have a STANK attitude (because I don’t wanna be on the phone anyway) just to say that at least I answered the phone.

So, to make a long story short, they are like hounding us to bring this damn bassinett back! She’s calling, texting me on my cell, calling my cell, etc over a 2 day period! Me & my husband had gotten into a HUMOUNGOUS fight on New Year’s Day and I just wasn’t in the mood to see ANYONE. And my thing is CAN’T YOU SEE WE JUST DO NOT FEEL LIKE BEING BOTHERED IF I’M NOT CALLING YOU BACK OR ANSWERING THE PHONE?????

So, when I finally do text her back (which the bugaboo-ness was making me REALLY not want to call) I was like,”I know you guys wanted to bring the basinnett, but we just wanted to chill and weren’t up for company(not wanting to detail the fact that I had had drama in my household) so, I’m sorry that we didn’t get a chance to hook up,but if you wanna come over tonight (on 1/3) that’s cool”.

She texts me back “ Ya’ll are a trip…… we didn’t even have to visit, we just wanted to drop the thing off, but tonight’s cool”

So when her and her husband comes over, she proceeds to be like “ You are so trifling…..”. Now, I have been called this before due to my not answering the phone unless I feel like being bothered, and I CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT! My thing is, WHY do I have to entertain conversation and “fake it”if I am not in the mood to appease you???? Yes, I am happy that you have reached out to me, but if I am not in the mood, I am NOT IN THE MOOD. PERIOD. It’s not slight on you! But I have 2 or 3 friends who if I do NOT either 1. answer the phone EVERY time they call or call them back within the day that they called, they call me trifling. That shit grates on my nerves BADLY.

So, then ,my girl, my long-term friend says “well….what if I had needed you…..what do people do when they NEED you?!!!”

I replied “ But you DIDN’T need me.”

She said “But if I HAD needed you, YOU wouldn’t have answered the damn phone!”

I saidBUT.YOU.DIDN’T.NEED.ME……I don’t deal if ‘what-if’s’ if you HAD”VE needed me the messages , which I do listen to, would’ve said something about the fact that you NEED ME….but they didn’t!!! SO what’s your point?!!”

At this point I’m getting super-heated and though me and her have NEVER had ANY type of blow-out, knock-down-drag-out arguments, I could feel a “well, fuck you if that’s the way you feel” coming on.

So, I said “So why was it sooooo urgent to bring the damn thing over???? Why couldn’t you have just waited for me to call you back??? You all actin’ like it was a rotting corpse you nwere trying to get out’cha damn crib!”

She says “Well, we had had it in the car (a Pathfinder) for the past 3 days and had thought ‘oh they’re just around the corner, we’ll SURELY just be able to drop it off’ but ya’ll nigga’s refused to answer the phone”

I said “well that’s YO fault for putting it in the damn car BEFORE you knew MY ASS was ast home to receive it! I mean, was it taking up THAT much space at your (4 bedroom, 2,200 sq. ft) house???”

She says: “That’s not the point Robyn! (sounding irritated as hell) You just trifling and need to answer the damn phone”.

I was just like “whatever…….”

She then says in the most disgusted way she could apparently conjure up “ Well, I tell you what…. I will NEVER put myself in the position to HAVE to depend on you for anything……..”

It took all I had not to say “FINE BITCH !!!”

I said “It’s not that deep ______(her name)”

The end all is that I feel that her opinion of me as “trifling” is wrong. Reason: just because I do not handle the events in my life the same way you do doesn’t make me trifling! Example: Just because a guy may say “ I don’t like to cut my underarm hair” does that make him “trifling”? I don’t think so. Just because I choose not to talk at certain times, doesn’t make me trifling. Often times I call back later that day or the next day. But I’m still trifling.

And I guess I care for the same reason that no one would want to go around with the moniker “LIAR”. It’s pejorative and an O.P.I.N.I.O.N. , but to me it’s not true. The shit just bugs the living heck outta me **seething as I speak**

But I constantly have to deal with these select mu’fucka’s who (like I said) unless I answer EVERY ONE of their calls or call them back post-haste, label me as trifling.

One day, this “trifling” individual is gon curse Erry’ONE of them out..

be e-z...and I'll try to be too


Shawn said...

I'm so glad I don't work downtown anymore! There are certain things I miss, like coming over to the RenCen. There is nothing like driving 5 minutes to get home. Aren't we blessed to have jobs in Detroit girl!

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

Girl, I was getting nervous reading this story. I kept saying to myself "oh lawd", LOL. But I see you kept your cool and I commend you for that (smile).

Now........uhmmmmmmmm, who is she to tell you when to answer the damn phone?!?! If you don't wanna talk, you don't wanna talk! I periodically feel the same way and its not even like I'm screening calls. Sometimes I'm like I don't care who it is, I'm don't even move when I hear the phone ring.

Sometimes people don't want to be bothered for whateva reason and that is not trifling! I mean you were doing her a favor anyway by letting her borrow it in the first place. People can really be a trip some times.

Knockout Zed said...

Answer that damn phone and stop being so trifling!



LadyLee said...

Dang Disco Diva...

Chill out, with you old TRIFLING ass!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously, you said something that caught my eye...

"I have always been one who believes that if I don’t feel like talking to you, I am not going to answer the phone."

Are we separated at birth or something?? I'm the same way, and people act like I just stole something if I don't answer the phone (or answer the door, for that matter) when someone calls.

When you first detailed what happened, I thought "Maybe this broad is real young, like in her early 20's". But nawl, she your age... And she acted like that? Over a freakin' bassinet? Come on now. Get a damn life.

Me, I throw people in 2 categories: folks who can accept me and my ways (as I am all too happy to deal with them and accept their ways) and folks who can't deal with me or get a damn attitude because I don't do everything the way they THINK I should do them... The latter HATES me, and think I am a evil person... No it's not that. It's just that I ain't your puppet!

All I know, that's some straight up craziness. I mean, High school is over. Maybe she was dealing with some deeper issues, who knows? Hope you make up with your girl, but you gonna have to let her know... This is who I am, and I ain't changing it...

Freaky Deaky said...

Damn, I'm the same way. People don't say I'm trifling though. They say I'm evil and/or ornery. I've had the exact same argument and pretty much gave your answer, except with more sarcasm.

I find that when you're having the same old argument it's because the issue isn't being resolved. I told one woman who called me evil that unless she paid my phone bill and actually paid me to be oncall to her I would answer my phone anytime and any way I damn well pleased. I then let her know that while I liked her she wasn't going to keep calling me evil without me living up to it and telling her things she needed to know but definitely didn't want to know about herself.

She got huffy and puffy and got off the phone but she was put on notice about her behavior and my willingness to end our friendship. She never called me evil or blew up my phone like she lost her mind ever again.

chele said...

You're not trifling. I understand that your girl felt inconvenienced but that was on her. I don't think this is a trait that you acquired overnight. If you've known each other for that long she should know you by now and deal with it.

I used to unplug my phone all the time when I didn't feel like being bothered. I only recently got call-waiting and I NEVER click over when the other line beeps.

I'm not a phone person and have never been one and people who know me know that and have learned to leave me the hell alone.