Back to life...back to reality...back from Atl.

Hey good black people,

Happy New Year and all that!!! I am finally back from the Atl. and I was happy to go, but happy to get back too. You know how when you go on vacation, especially those of you with kids, traveling is HELL when they’re little and when you’re not in your own house you can’t “fully” relax. We went to see my mother-in-law and we stayed with her. Wellll…. She smokes….I abhor it…..but the beauty of this was that our quarters were on the lower level of the house. The bad thing was that I wanted to stay down there ALL THE TIME because I Hate smoke (with a capital “H”). My Mom smoked all my life and I vowed that I never would and I have never had the desire, but since I am not around it much, I can’t take too much of it anymore. I probably didn’t spend as much time with my mom-in-law and his grandma as I woulda liked to simply because I really can’t take being around too much smoke anymore.

But anyway, my mom-in-law was sooo happy to see her grandson that it wasn’t even funny! And it was good for them both. My husband , therefore was in total bliss. You see, he struggles with the fact that 99% of his family is in Atlanta and he doesn’t get to see them often at all. His grandmother is older and slightly ailing and he worries, so having evvvvvveryone together was heaven for him. I was just glad that I got to hit some new shopping venues that we don’t have in Detroit! LOL

But all in all it was a good trip. My son got to bond with his cousins (another thing that I hate is that he’s not able to “grow up” with his cousins) and I love that because, I pretty much grew up in a small family ( on my mom’s side) and was not close with my Dad’s side until I was well….grown….in age at least (around 20 or so). So, I loved the fact that he was able to be around his cousins who are 2 ½ and 5 ½.

We got to go out to the movies and see The Chronicles of Narnia. If you ever read and loved the book as a child, go see it…it’s a great movie. We went out to dinner at a favorite restaurant of mine (which we do NOT have here **growl***) the Cheesecake Factory, and all in all got some mommy & daddy free time, which is something we hardly EVER get in Detroit. Though I have family here, them nigga’s have “schedules” and things to do, so it’s hard to coordinate unless it’s ridiculously well in advance. And most times we just don’t roll like that, hence, often times it’s me, hubby and the baby at home. And consequently, we do not get much relief. So, I was LOVIN being in the Atl.!!!! I’m still thinking about a move to GA strictly for this reason!!

On to the topic of the day! I was listening to the radio this morning and the question to the listeners was :

If you think that your man/woman is cheating is it wrong to look through their e-mail, check their voicemail, etc. and how do you feel about it.

I have actually been on both ends of the spectrum, I have been the snooper and the snoopee. And in both situations this holds true: If you’re looking for some shit, you’re gonna find it. Because let’s face it, how many men or women tell their mate ABSOLUTELY everything???? And I am not speaking of deep and dark secrets of lust and desire or embezzlement from your job or the kid you had in Guatemala. I am speaking of everyday shit that you just MIGHT not want them to know, which is harmless to you as an individual, but could piss off your significant other. For example, why does a woman need to detail every man that comes on to her? Why does my husband need to know if an offcolor joke/comment was made to me? For me, with my husband, it would just infuriate him and he’d want to “find that mu’fucka” or know who it was who said what??? Now, I’m not saying that I get hit on all the time or anything like that. Or that I just withhold all kinds of stuff. These are just examples. But I just think that just as when you and your girls or fellas when you and your boys are talking about a significant other and you DAMN sure wouldn’t want them privy to some convo’s between ya’ll, I don’t think that stuff that is harmless to you needs to be open for public examination. Because it would be taken the WRONG way.

Therefore, I do NOT want my husband on my e-mail, listening to my messages,etc. Above and beyond this, I feel that MOST human beings have a need for some privacy (yes, I know that the snooping that I DID was hypocritical as hell!!.....ay….I’m far from perfect). This is MY reason. I was a very private person and NEED to have something that is just “mine” even in the midst of a relationship.

As you can tell I probably have a double standard when it comes to this. I do NOT want my shit snooped upon, but I felt toooooooooootally justified snooping on my ex when I thought he was cheating on me (which by the FUCKING way, he WAS).

Now, one caller said that “You don’t even have to do all that snoopin’ cause in your heart you already know if they’re cheating on you”. To me, this is just plain ig’nant ! The reason: If you just happen to have sum shit twisted, break up with him/her and later find out that you were WRONG, you have done yourself a disservice. I would NEVER break up with someone based on “hearsay bullshit”. Why would you do that to yourself???? Now, If you are the mistrusting type, I guess that’s my answer right there….but, I don’t believe in guilty until innocent.

So….how do you guys feel about this?

be e-z.....