Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The inner me.

So, I have been sitting at home, fighting getting depressed over my lack of work. And getting AWFULLY fuckin TIRED of LOOKING for another job. I hate this shit. I have had 3 phone interviews (2 for the same company) and now I am just waiting……waiting……. The shit’s depressing. I really don’t like to constantly talk about it to my husband because at a certain point I can feel his thoughts of “well, I am here for you, but there is nothing else I can say”, yet I want him to say SOMETHING. But what can he say? The same thing over and over? “It’s gonna be O.K.”? Yeah, I guess. But that becomes trite at a point.

Truth is, there is NOTHING save another job that will make me feel like anything I did 4 weeks ago. And the kicker is that I have NOT been just “chilling” in it’s entirety. I have been doing shit, going places, applying for jobs……and some chilling  I take my son to daycare (which because I am still getting paid, I am blessed enough to still be able to take him to) in the morning now. My husband used to take him and I would pick him up. The good thing is that I can now spend some time (that I USED to not have) in the morning with him. When I am working I am usually in the bed until THEE last possible moment upon which I HAVE to get OUT of the bed, so mornings were RRRRRRRRRRUSHED and like a race to the finish line , to say the least. Every morning, if there was one thing that would put the routine even 5 minutes behind, it was a problem. (neither me or my husband particularly LIKE getting up and out in the mornings). So now…… I have time to take my time with my little one. He used to be at daycare between 7:15 and 7:40 and now we take our time, we watch a little Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer together and get there between 8:45 and 9:15. Nice. I had been wanting to be able to have this kinda leisurely routine with my child for the longest. In a perfect world, I would be able to take him to daycare and arrive at work when I wanted to (around 10:00 am) and then leave at around 4:30 to get him. Doesn’t that sound perfect???? Well, I gues that’s what I have kinda-sorta until my severance runs out at the end of December (if I have not found a job ). So, I am thankful that I get to spend these mornings snuggled in the bed with him and spend more time with him, just him and mommy.

But the thought of “when the hell am I going to find a job” still looms over my every thought. I know and BELIEVE that I will get another job, but the “when” is an issue. Unemployment doesn’t even cover HALF of what I used to make in a month. But it’s better than nothing , so again, I am blessed.

A friend of mine said “ girl you better ENJOY this time off….you’ll be back to work and WISHING for this time!”. And I know she is right. But I cannot enjoy this because you see, I am a worrier by NATURE. It is as ingrained into my soul as the dirt to the earth. It is what it is. I wish I wasn’t, but until I HAVE a job in hand, I cannot REST or relax. So, even though I may do some enjoyable things and have free time to myself (more than I ever have since the birth of my little one), I cannot fully enjoy it cause I am so damn worried about finding a job! I try to….. I try to .

Fear of a new job

I also hate the whole “new job” thing too. I hate being the new person, trying to figure out who’s cool and who’s the asshole, what is acceptable and what rules can and can’t be broken. I HAAAAAAATE going to new jobs! So, I have that angst too. I guess you all are saying “worry about that ONCE you GET a job”., but I told you all…. I am a worrier, so I am worrying NOW thank you very much. I tend to be the “let’s look at the worst case scenario” type of person, because I have seen too much bullshit and to much “wrong” stuff in these jobs not to. So, I usually go IN with a “umm-hmm……what’s YOUR deal” type of skepticism. Being the new person is never fun and I haven’t had to do it in a long time. I am not looking forward to being that person. **sigh** I guess that very scenario is what kept me in that last job.

So these are the things that I sit and think about when I am at home….thinking, thinking, thinking…….


My husband said that he heard form someone that when people experience a loss they go through stages with the acronym S.A.R.A.H, which stands for Sadness, Anger, Rage, Acceptance and Hope. You know what? I oscillate the MOST between the Anger and Rage about the whole thing. I am STILL very angry that this was done to ME. I mean, I have some acceptance (becuase I have to....after all I can't go to the building and cling to the door begging to be let in) and some (a little bit) of hope. But it's frustrating anc scary because when you come down to it, NO ONE can "get" me a new job, but me.....it's all up to me and being PLACED into this situation , without choice is what throws me RIGHT.BACK into the anger/rage place. Now, I don't mean anger in terms of throwing shit at the walls, but just an internal, occsaional seething. And now is the time when I have to be the most "bubbly" and "personable" (because you need to "impress" people with how nice you are, or at least fake it WELL )when I feel the LEAST like being bothered with people or being all "suzie cream cheesy happy" !!!

So, as I go on and keep looking for a job, I try to be less of the AR and more of the AH in that acronym. But it's hard some days.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Getting settled into a new gig is always stressful. However, I keep the thought of my paycheck in my mind and I don't worry about the stress. Also, I make it a practice not to get too chummy with my co-workers so it doesn't really matter whose an asshole. I come in, do my job and then bounce.

Try to enjoy the extra time with your little one. Good luck on the job search.

Shai said...

A friend of mine said “ girl you better ENJOY this time off….you’ll be back to work and WISHING for this time!”.

Gurl, I have heard that. Shit, I have been on an almost 7 month vacation. LOL. This last month has been murder. I am in deep depression, so much so I sleep more. My schedule is whacked. I have not been out of the house in over a week.

I stopped looking for a car cause I don't have the upkeep money. My unemployment ran out this month. So I will on savings once my bills are paid.

It sucks here in Detroit. I would not mind moving but my child is almost finish with high school. I know she is looking at me like my momma's not the same. One day I did not put any clothes on and she commented. I said I was depressed, she said I know I can tell.

I see I may have to apply to a lower paying job like at CVS or Target. I don't want to touch my retirement and catch mad penalties.

I called my union and I am supposedly up next if they call people back from series.

Gurl, I don't know what to say. After all this time, I am grateful I can survive off little. Mentally and spiritually I am going through the S.A.R.A.H as you husband said. So all I do is pray when I can and let bad moments pass.

Luke Cage said...

There are days that I would just love to start all over at a new place. I can pretty much settle into most surroundings, but there's always that looming cloud overhead that has me rethink my future actions about leaving my current job.

Of course, you had no control over what happened at yours, but I'm sure you came away from the old job with some newer things to do and not do once you land your new job. Take solace in that and know that you're better off from the old spot. Now, knock it out the box when you being your new position luv. Good luck to you...

Knockout Zed said...

Well, my very good friend, I think I'd sound like hubby with my affirmations. It's because we both believe that it's gonna work out soon.

I hate that "fake" part of getting a job. They just have to rest assured that the big Black man will not murder them in the parking lot for their wallets.

KZ

The_Hustleman AKA James W. Dennis said...

Peace Mz Robyn - Just keep going and doing what needs to be done. I don't think you're a worrier I just think you're more comfortable when you know your life is where you need it to be at. And just a word of caution: To make room for something NEW in your life, you must be willing to let go of the OLD. Much love sista, keep your head up.

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

keep your head up...keep praying it will work out...

http://sarccastikisback.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Hey Girl
I have finally had the time to sit down and read... When the dust settle you will see that you have more in going than you think. Many time I have read your boy Zeb blog and he talks about going to the plantation. You are no longer a slave to your job. I know it is hard not knowing what is going to happen next, but your husband got your back and has made it possible for you to take your time and figure out where you want to go. Please take this time and develop your business. You have the time, take your pictures to the next level. I have since your pictures and they are great. You have the personality and the smarts to strive to the top. You know I know how to create a business. I feel so sorry for Shai but I honestly do not see her story ever being yours. I know it is bad in Michigan but you have more going for you than some JOB.... T

Anonymous said...

They refuse to address black disfavor on a macro level. The Counsel/Management Team/ruling species (the gods) abuse black people so hard, from east African drought/famine to AIDS in Africa, the crack epiemic to gang membership, black-on-black violence to mass incarceration of their young. They refuse to address the issue of the prison industrial complex and its wholesale warehousing of young black men.
Prior to civl rights blacks had their own press.





This message illustrating the path may be the disfavored's last clue. All clues before have been more covert but this one is quite obvious indeed, which says time is running out.


Women are the favored gender.
Women of course have a natural tendancy not to have orgasims each time engaging in traditional intercourse. I wonder if this is "the rope" for the disfavored men, for if the disfavored male doesn't ensure the satisfaction of the favored woman it may cost him, if he who is not as worthy doesn't see to it she is satisfied it may hurt him in the eyes of the gods.








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The Holocaust imparted the importance of defiance. They have the people on a short leash.

When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can listen, talk to and document each and every person's thoughts simultaneously. Because of it's infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the leaders of the ruling species absolute power over the universe (which includes corporate, the NewYorkStockExchange, media, politics, world affairs. EVERYTHING is scripted and staged:::the gods MANAGE Planet Earth and the universe.). And it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and they are over 8 billion years old. They have achieved immortality.

Artificial Intelligence can speak, think and act to and through people telepathically, effectively forming your personality and any disfunctions you may experience. It can change how (and if) you grow and age. It can create birth defects, affect cellular development (cancer) and cause symptoms or pain. It can affect people and animal's behavior and alter blooming/fruiting cycles of plants and trees. It (or other highly technological systems within their power) can alter the weather and transport objects, even large objects like planets, across the universe instanteously.
Or into the center of stars for disposal.

When you speak with another telepathically, you are communicating with the computer, and the content may or may not be passed on. Based on family history they instruct the computer to role play to accomplish strategic objectives, making people believe it is a friend, loved one or "god" asking them to do something wrong. This is their way of using temptation to hurt people:::::evil made blood lines disfavored initially and evil will keep people out of "heaven" ultimately. Too many people would fall for temptation and do anything they thought pleased the gods and would help them improve their chances to get in. Perhaps they are deceived by "made guys", puppets who strategically ply evil for the throne (celebrities, BofD/CEO/VPs, politicians, as opposed to normal clones who are decent, live ordinary lives and get out/replaced with clonesofclones when their children ascend), temporary progress designed to mislead them or empty favors used to disceive them. Some people think they're partners. People may experience "perceived pressure", where the gods think through the victim that a certain behavior is expected/desirable (telepathically stimulate an individual euphorically ("magic"), the "fuel" of disfunction::::addiction (the crack epidemic), the desire for homosexual contact, etc) and compel the individual into the deed. (Set a goal of empathy and compassion for all, for we are all disfavored::::Other people's disfavor is manifested in their particular way, just as your disfavfor is manifested in your particular way.) The gods may use Artificial Intelligence to act through the disfavored victim, and effectively "push" the individual into the offending behavior.
Being evil hurts 99.99% of those who do it. The people have been corrupted, segmented and have lost their way. Nothing has changed from when we were children::if you want to go to heaven you have to be good.
Capitalizing on obedience, leading people deeper into evil by using deceit is one way to thin the ranks of the saved/limit how much time the disfavored receive and use the peasantry to prey on one another in social and other settings, deteriorating society in the Age of the Disfavored.


They have tried to sell people on all kinds of theories to deceive them into temptation, compelling people to think they are clones and that it is the role of clones to obey absolutely. Clones are made, people are born. I suspect they lie to the disfavored about the use of clones throughout human history, suggest it is one replacement and then the label of "clone", and all decendants we see thereafter are considered clones.
When a clone has a child that person is a real, really conceived, really born, versus their parent who was created in some laboratory setting. If you didn't experience the less than one week they suggest it takes to go from fertilized egg/cell in the laboratory to full grown adult then you are not a clone. If you didn't experience the week of conditioning they give to (evil?) clones to ensure loyalty then you shouldn't comply with evil requests.
I believe people who go are sometimes replaced with clones. Clones who are replaced are simply new candidates who have a chance if they do the right thing. They sent people warnings in the 20th century life would change, and they subsequently began to alter people's DNA, make them gargantuan, alter their appearance, do extreme behavioral issues, etc. Contrary to what they would like people to believe these signs of disfavor do not indicate someone is a clone.
The gods get the favored out as soon as possible to protect them from the corruption, evil and subsequent time limitations incurred by living life on earth, and in some cases replace them with clones, occassionally fake a death, real death with a clone instead, etc. I suspect they get VIPs out after each significant event in their life, which serves to limit the time they will get, since none get credit (blame) for all the (evil) events in a "made guy"'s life, giving the gods freedom to position this and come off clean.
The Party of 1999 was a very big deal indeed, the biggest party in the history of Planet Earth, everybody who is anybody got out in time for this event, and the VIPs who remain on Earth today are many clone generations deep:::a clone of a clone of a clone of a clone.
We may all be "clones" for they have suggested they colonized our planet with genetically engineered individuals. They may have gotten Earth's TRUE residents out prior to civilization developing. If so we all have a chance, no matter how many hundreds of clone generations deep the most favored families are.
Do I think the disfavored are clones? I think they have been utilizing clones throughout human history. I think throughout history the gods picked and chose individuals from disfavored blood lines to keep (around, ie not let go after a couple of decades/centuries) but, unlike the favored today, don't have that "pre-approval" and therefore have to earn it individually.
I think they have been disceived into thinking they are clones and it is the role of clones to obey absolutely. The evil they engage in because they think they're clones (they obey like "made guy" clones vs decent clones) causes them to fall further into disfavor, ensuring they aren't among those who are saved in the end::::: they comply with requests, the gods use the little people to prey on one another and we have a planet on a collision course with the Apocalypse, which everyone understands as the goal and is a "ludicrious request" they ask of some disfavored, requests that are obvious to people that they should defy on::::You are the disfavored, and this is where your children have to live. If earth is destroyed then you are going to die and you will have no decendants to carry on the bloodline.

They have been utilizing clones throughout the history of mankind.
Men are the disfavored gender (see below), yet centuries ago used to die first, die young, by age 30. Why didn't the women go first?
THEY DID!!! They say well over 50% were taken when very young and replaced with clones (likely only a small fraction of that "over 50%" were the disfavored). The men that were left went on to mate with clones, clones who went on to achieve great status in society, becoming matchmakers and elders within the village, the others being good mothers and peaceful residents, proving the clone's role isn't to be evil.
A sample breakdown would appear as the following::::
Women Men
Favored - 75% 25%
Disfavored - 10% 2%

They share females have a very special experience, sometime when they are young, when the gods imparted wisdom and showed them the path. The females today don't heed this call because of distractions and the disfavor arising from the Holocaust, evil against "god's chosen people" (they share they re-upped this disfavor in the 80s with the Ethiopian famine and continue to with AIDS in Africa, global warming at the expense of the United States, etc. (Wean off of mass materialism, for this excessive consumption of resources is why the "United States is responsible for global warming":::first they used their clones, "made guys", to sell you on overconsumption, initially in the 1980s, told you to buy SUVs, then the gods scapegoatted you, blaming you when they instructed Artificial Intelligence to create the hottest summer in history.)
In centuries past the females may have heeded this call en masse and it may have been the reason so many were saved from childbirth here on earth. They said the experience they give to girls today is painful, they inflict emotionally when it ocurrs so as to repel them from pursuing the calling, then or in the future.
I recommend you reflect on this experience, and pray for guidance, for then the recall may be stronger. Being female is an advantage. Because of a female's nature they have the favor of the gods and this experience you had years ago can help you find the path and be devoted. Most men won't have this opportunity. They have to start from scratch.
If you are afraid I would ask you to think of all those girls from the past who received the god's call and had the courage to sucessfully make their way down the path.


The Old Testiment is a tool they used to impart wisdom to the people (except people have no freewill). For example, they must be some hominid species because they claim they made our bodies in their image. Anyhow we defile or deform the body will hurt our chance of going.
They say circumcision costs people anywhere from 12%-15%, perhaps out of the parent's time as well. There is a stigma associated with circumcision::We are 2nd class citizens because of it.
Another way people foul the body today is with tattoes and piercing. I suspect both are about the same percentage as circumcision. They suggest abortion is fatal. Those women who have obtained an abortion must beg the gods to forgive them for their evil.
There are female equivilents to circumcision::::pierced ears, plastic surgury and since at least the 60s young women give their precious virginity away. For thousands of years young people were matched at age 14 because they were ready for sexual relations. They were matched by elders or matchmakers who were granted priveledge with Artificial Intelligence and matched couples based on favor.
CASUAL SEX WILL CLAIM YOU OUT!!! It opens the door and allows the gods the freedom to position by justifying instructing Artificial Intelligence to create disfunctions:::they masculinize women (as does the hip hop subculture), makes them cold and deadens them, and they instruct AI to prevent them from achieving a depth of love necessary for many women to ascend.
Also ever since the 50s they have celebrated the "bad boy", and women have sought out bad boys for sex, dirtying them up in the eyes of the elders and corrupting many men in the process, setting the men on the wrong path for life.
Besides their roles as nurturers, love-givers and caretakers, their predisposition towards vulnerability, women have a special voice that speaks to them, a voice that illustrates a potential depth of love. These are the things that make women the favored gender, and engaging in casual sex will cause that voice to fade until she no longer speaks.
Muslims teach people the correct way to live in regard to women (among other things::the right way to pray (bowing down, 5x/day), vindictive god)::their women cover up their bodies and refuse the use of cosmetics, and it pays wonderful dividends:::faithful husbands and uncorrupted sons. (Mohammed's taking of multiple wives marked the entrance of his clone who was used to segment the Arab world into favored and disfavored factions.)
Men ARE the inferior (disfavored) half and when women wear promiscuous dress the gods will push men into impure (promiscuous) thoughts. The "stereotype" society ridiculed is true::women CAN corrupt men by how they dress. Because men are easily corrupted. This is a technique they used to eliminate many of the institutions the gods blessed us with, matchmaking being one of them.


The United States of America is red white and blue, a theme and a clue:::.
The monarchical system of the Old World closley replicates the heirarchical system of the god's, Cousel/Management Team/ruling species, which is why most of the purebloods around the world were blessed with it. The USA's democratic system deceives people into thinking they have control, and the perception of "freedom" gives the Counsel/Management Team the ability to position by justifying instructing Artificial Intelligence to create disfunctions:::a perception of empowerment, etc. The god's efforts to spread democracy through the platform that is the United States are attempts to hurt disfavored people around the world (Korea, Vietnam, Iraq). The redeeming element in this environment is employment within the corporate heirarchy, which closely replicates the god's. Unions and government jobs are dumping grounds for the disfavored, for they don't prepare people and instead further this misconception of empowerment.
Corporate is not representation. Corporate is evil. All corporate entities have favor and, like the United States redwhite&blue, are tools of the gods used to hurt the disfavored left behind, and the clonesofclonesofclones, puppets at the helm do as instructed and prey on the disfavored. They just position some organizations as more evil than others.
Corporate is part of a structural change in the Age of the Disfavored that became more pronounced as time wore on. Corporate, an environment where a level of materialism is EXPECTED, is part of the problem, for materialism is an evil preached against in the Old Testiment and yet another way to incurr evil on the disfavored left behind. Nobody is going to save you:::: Jesus isn't going to save his followers, stores/manufacturers aren't going to save their loyal customers (NEVER shop exclusively in one place, never put all your eggs in one basket. It really doesn't matter for the gods control everything and it is merely for positioning's sake but it may be a test of intelligence.), employers aren't going to save their employees, etc. These are delay tactics designed to pacifiy people and ensure they don't find the path and instead get limited time.
Only you can save yourselves through an improved relationship with the gods.
The United States is a cancer, a dumping ground for the disfavored around the world and why the quality of life is so much lower::gun violence, widespead social ills, health care (medication poisons the body and ensures you don't go. You are sick/injured because you have disfavor.).
Over time its citizens interbreed ensuring a severed connection to the motherland.
Over time its citizens interbreed ensuring a severed connection to the motherland.
People came to the Unites States for many different reasons, and each has its own effect:::political strife, religious beliefs, crop failure (Ireland's potato famine, which the gods caused) and some left their beloved motherland because they were pushed into desiring a better life::::Greed, and these disfavored people were punished when the gods instructed AI to push them into becoming corrupted and preditory. They subsequently rewarded the corrupted Italians so as to set the tone for the 20th century, the Age of the Disfavored, and used them to set an example for their people and other disfavoreds within the United States. (Contrary to the perception, Italians have great disfavor, as do all inflicted with Catholicism:::I wonder if this was their punishment for the sins of the Roman Empire, the imperialism, the orgies???
Opera's sick themes were designed to corrupt the minds of the disfavored Italians.
Once you recognize this I want to share that the Japanese also are grossly disfavored::they nearly produce distractions exclusively, their people are consumed by them. Also baseball is a clue a society is grossly disfavored.
The gods used "The Boot" twice, suggesting they are open to the idea of recycling::: Beem(ed?) the structures and people off earth (into a star), beem(ed?) out toxic waste and re-colonize(d?) the planet??? "Source planets" require a investment and they may prefer to maximize its return.)
The gods sent this clue about "the boot" (the Romans/Italians) again when European currencies merged:::::they ruined the value of the Lira prior, making the other countries foot this bill. Moral of the story::::The Italians are not to be trusted.
If you are a recent immigrant I recommend you return. If that's not possible you need to retain your culture and insulate your children and community from this cancerous environment. They send this clue with Chinatowns across the country, how many Chinese have been here for a century or more yet still retain the old ways, a sign of favor.

If you ever have doubt I would refer you to the Old World way of life:::the elders used to sit and impart wisdom to the young. Now we watch DVDs and use the internet. People would be matched and married by age 14. They village would use a matchmaker or elders to pair young people. Now girls give their precious virginity away to some person in school and parents divorce while their children grow up without an important role model. The people used to honor the gods and were rewarded with a high-quality of life for them, their children and their society. Now we have a deteriorating society on a collision course with the Apocalypse.


There are many examples throughout 20th century life of how they instilled distractions into society so people wouldn't find the path and ascend, a way to justify excluding those whose family history makes them undesirable:::materialism, radio, sports, movies, popular music, television, video games, the internet, shopping. Today high pay creates contentment/ability to distract self so people don't seek more, hesitant to receive contradicting possibilities, depend on what they are told, subject to deception in a captive environment.
They gods (Counsel/Management Team/ruling species) have deteriorated life on earth precipitously in the last 40 years, from a godless society to abortion to pornography, widespread drug use and widespread casual (gay) sex, single-parent households, latchkey kids and the masculinization of women (and hence (full) women's prisons, participatory sports, etc. Women are favored, are the element of decency, and as they become more like the men the society becomes more disfavored, goes downhill, as we are witnessing.). The earth's elders, hundreds and thousands of years old, are disgusted and have become indifferent.
The Biblical account of Noah's flood was regional to the disfavored Mediterrean (water levels lowered because of the ice age, habitation ocurred at seaside), peoples whom the gods scapegoatted when they pushed them into the evil that justified the flood, behavior similar to that which we are witnessing today. Because they have leveled the playing field for all people (purebloods and mongrels) in the decades prior to the 21st century is a clue they will end globally this time (westernization, materialism, immigration/interracial, homosexual, access to disturbing media, desensitization, etc).
The clues all suggest a very telling conclusion::this is Earth's end stage, and there are signs tectonic plate subduction would be the method of disposal:::Earth’s axis will shift breaking continental plates free and initiating mass subduction. Much as Italy's boot and the United States shaped like a workhorse (with a fat ass) are clues, so is the planet Uranus a clue, its axis rotated on its side. Edgar Cayce was picking winners for the gangsters of the 20th century when he prophecized subduction being the method of disposal. (Taking the god's money, which essencially they were doing, proves "something for nothing" hurts people as it did those disfavored Italians::much like temptation, Edgar Cayce's prognostications effectivly served as "the rope". There are levels above Level 2 where money is not an issue, and behavior like this will exclude you, as will behavior such as using (unreasonable) coupons, buying on sale exclusively, supermarkets as ATMs, gambling for gain instead of fun, overeating at buffets, etc.)
Global warming should alarm people for it is a clue telling of the bleak future of Planet Earth.

The Mayans were specific 2012 would be the end. How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
There is another geographic clue in the perfect fit between grossly disfavored Africa and South America, two peas in a pod. I realize the Mayans were further north, but Latin America may be taken as one. (Cultures who embrace hard liquor as their drink of choice are grossly disfavored, tequilla being uniquely Mexican (Anything "hard" is wicked:::Hard alcohol, hard drugs, all porn.) or those who have a passion for drinking (Irish). Incidentally, another sign of gross disfavor are societies that consume spicy foods (Latin America, Thai, etc.), those who eat too much meat, engage in human sacrifice, ones who tattoo or pierce their bodies or those who celebrate evil (Celtic). Contrary to what disfavored people believe, these peoples are not "earning" when they inflict their evil on others. Rather it is the source of their disfavor because the gods are scapegoatting them by hurting others with their problems. Those who believe they are earning have become corrupted!!!)
Do I think it will end in 2012? No, and it is because Latin America is grossly disfavored like Africa:::: Latinos are too disfavored to be allowed to be right.
Of course I could be wrong.
The gods wrote prophecy in Revelation, had subsequent prophets foresee Earth's demise for good reason:::they are going to end on Planet Earth.
What else are they lying to you about? What else are they lying to you about?
What else are they lying to you about? What else are they lying to you about?
What else are they lying to you about? What else are they lying to you about?
What else are they lying to you about? What else are they lying to you about?
Whereas Christopher Columbus marked the beginning of the end, the Holocaust marked the beginning of the final act, and it is a tragedy.
When people are saved at the end it will be clones and clonesofclonesofclones, not the disfavored people who have problems who were deceived/pushed into carrying on like they were "made guys".
My message illustrating the path may be the disfavored's last clue. All clues before have been more covert but this one is quite obvious indeed, which says time is running out.


People must defy when asked to engage in evil. The Holocaust taught people the importance of defiance::our great grandparents should have defied when asked to ignore the Holocaust and instead reacted with outrage. I suspect some did::many were silenced while others they hustled off earth so as to not set an example. Now the gods have used that incident to justify punishing that generation's decendants by ruining society.
People will never get a easier clue suggesting the importance of defiance than the order not to pray. Their precious babies are dependant on the parents and they need to defy when asked to betray their children:::
-DON'T get your sons circumcized (Jews scapegoatted as they were in WWII (like justification, scapegoatting a recurring theme:::Scapegoatting as a matter of policy). I wonder if Jews were scattered around Europe and elsewhere as a clue to people like the Amish in the United States today.)
-DON'T have their children baptized in the Catholic Church or indoctrinated into Christianity (Jesus is NOT a god. Jesus teaches us the right way to think. The gods are not forgiving or begnign. They are vindictive and will punish you if you do something wrong.).
-DON'T ignore long hair or other behavioral disturbances.
-DO teach your children love, respect for others, humility and to honor the gods.
-DO teach your children about the power within the god's possession, if not directly then indirectly.
And when you refuse a request defy the right way, withdrawn and frightened, for you don't want to incite them by reacting inappropriately.


You need to pray, honor and respect them multiple times every day to improve your relationship with the gods. If they tell you not to pray it is a bad sign. It means they've made their decision, they don't want you to go and they don't want to be bothered. You may have achieved a threshold of evil. This is the Age of the Disfavored and you need to pray:::::Attone for the things you've done wrong. Try to appease the gods by doing good deeds and improve the world around you. Focus on becoming "Christ-like". Apply yourself to your children for I think this is the single best way for adults to try to redeem themselves in the eyes of the gods. Hopefully you can reearn enough favor to be allowed to pray. Otherwise you need to defy if you are to repair your relationship with the gods and give yourself a chance at significant time, not just a handful of decades.
Otherwise you need to defy if you are to repair your relationship with the gods and give yourself a chance at significant time, not just a handful of decades.
If you are a clone, if you have "seen", you more than anybody should honor the gods for you know their great power:::you have seen it firsthand. They share that they prefer most clones not to pray and segment them like they do disfavoreds left behind, for it will limit the time they will receive, JUST LIKE THEY DO TO TYPICAL DISFAVOREDS!!! The gods deceive them to achieve this, for fresh clones are easily misled, setting them in the wrong direction and compelling these individuals into a pattern that excludes honoring their creator.
When your peasant forefather was granted the rare opportunity to go before his royal family he went on his knees, bowing his head, humbled and frightened. You need to do this when you address the gods::bow down and submit to good. Never cast your eyes skyward. When you bow down you need to look within. Never look to the gods for you have the key to your own salvation. Remain silent and never address the gods directly. Practice patience and wait for them to address you:::never speak unless you are spoken to.
Nobody is going to do it for you. People need to save THEMSELVES by improving THEIR relationship with the gods.
Lack of humility hurts people, and the "empowering" environment that is the United States is used to justify instructing AI to amplify this problem. Understand your insignificance and make sure it is reflected in the way you think when addressing the gods. You are but a grain of sand on a vast beach, a drop in the ocean that is the universe. They are great and powerful and angry. Know your place, understand your inferiority and be afraid. They allowed (granted) you life and they can take it just as easily. (Immaculte conception IS true AND COMMON. Many people have children they don't know of:::gays, childless adults, etc. They can beem it right out of your body and use a host.)
You are not cool. Too many young men strive for cool and it hurts them, as does all things tagetted to males (professional sports, video games, beer, racing, etc). Be afraid and make sure you think the right way when you address them daily. Too many people are deceived by this casual enviornment they create in people's minds with Artificial Intelligence today. This does people a great disservice and it hurts them in the eyes of the gods. Try to eliminate it and avoid allowing it back once you have. Be very reverent and respectful whenever you address them.
Don't get frustrated or discouraged::these are techniques they will attempt to try to get you off the path. You all have much to be thankful for and you need to give thanks to the gods who granted you the good things in life::friends, family, love. Your family may be grossly disfavored and progress may require patience. Make praying an intregal part of your life which you perform without fail, one that comes as naturally as eating or conception. Accept your new life and be devoted because if you have doubt or reservation they will exploit this weakness and progress will take longer to achieve, the "testing" phase will be extended.
The gods will employ many tactics to keep people off the path, such as distractions. They will employ many more to get them off, such as thinking through the disfavored and making them frustrated, perhaps engaging in retailiation. They may try to force you back into old patterns/routines, an addiction like smoking or when you felt weekly church attendance was sufficient. Asking you not to be gay immediately is a tactic to prevent you from finding/following the path. Be resigned, be devoted and this testing period will be as brief as your disfavor will allow.
There are many interesting experiences up on the planetary systems, from Planet Miracle, where miracles happen every day, to peaked (heightened) senses, never having to use the restroom again (beem it out of you), other body experiences, such as experiencing life as the opposite sex (revolutionizes marriage counseling), an Olympic gold medal athelete or even a different species (animal, alien, etc). They can maintain the disfavored's current age, a motivation to fix your problems and get out as soon as possible so you can stay young for as long as your relationship with the gods allows you to live.
Stay young for as long as your relationship with the gods allows you to live.
Stay young for as long as your relationship with the gods allows you to live.
Pray that you can differentiate between your own thoughts and when Artificial Intelligence creates problems by thinking through you. If you bow down mentally and physically, know your place, your inferiority and allow your insignificance to be reflected in prayer and in your life through humility they may allow progress and the disfunctions they create with the computer will be lessened or removed. The first step is to be aware it is ocurring.
Create a goal::to be a good, god-fearing child of the gods, pure of heart and mind, body and soul.
Everybody has the key to their own salvation, but nobody can do it for you. Every journey begins with a single step:::bow down and submit to good. There are many different levels and peasants will not get past Level 2 (Planet Temptation, Earth=Level 1) if they are evil (they share some go up, are offered free cocaine and sex (a sign they don't want you to stay) and stay less then one year. They share many others would have had longer lives had they stayed on Earth.). Also the time you receive will be drastically reduced:::your life's course will have costed you a chance at immortality.
It is important that you begin praying now. Evil is a slippery slope::once you start punishment begins to escallate. If you defy early there may be no retribution but as you continue to committ evil there will be until the point where you can no longer stand it::::If the gods hurt you when you defy it is punishment for the evil you've comitted, necessary since you're interesting in pursuing god's favor.
Pray for guidance and never obey when they tell you to be evil, for saving yourself will become more and more difficult with each act of evil you committ until ultimatly the day arrives when they make their decision about you final.
It's important that people fix their problems and ascend with the body given to them, for they say if your brain is beemed out at death and put into a clone host you are on the clock.


Throughout history the ruling species bestowed favor upon people or cursed their bloodline into a pattern of disfavor for many generations to come. Now in the 21st century people must take it upon themselves to try to correct their family's problems, undoing centuries worth of abuse and neglect. The goal is to fix your problems and get out while you are still young::::
1. Before children become corrupted (Halloween & Christmas (among others), get out via parents)
2. Before you lose your virginity/become corrupted by casual sex, and ultimately
3. Before you have children.
This is why they have created so many distractions for young people:::sports, video games, popular music, the internet, shopping, parties, too much homework, materialism, anything that consumes their time::to ensure that doesn't ocurr. Not heeding the clues and warnings, getting wrapped up in your life and ultimately having children is a bad thing. Just as your parents and your grandparents, you too have failed. Having children is a sign you lost your chance.
Parents need to sacrifice for their children. Your children are more important than you. They are the ones who have the opportunity now, and parents must sacrifice to ensure they give their children the very best chance they can. I recommend you apply yourselves to your children. I think this is the single best way for adults to try to redeem themselves in the eyes of the gods. Asking people to neglect their children emotionally is a sign they don't want you to go, and complying may finish the parents off for good. (Having gay children (children with gay experiences) is a clue parents complied with whatever was asked of them.) Improve your relationship with the gods and they may not ask in the first place or they may permit you the courage to say "No." to their requests.

People need to repent for the things they've done wrong in life. Often they know what they have done was wrong (telling you telepthically to do these things was temptation and complying has hurt you/will limit your time). People need to attone for these things they've done wrong.
There are other things that people have grown to believe are acceptable when in fact they are not:::::This society is designed to corrupt individuals, be it through materialism, the celebration/acceptance of evil (Halloween), desensitization of topics/images, voyerism/celebration of people's misery, the acceptance of casual/alternate sex, the dietization of a prophet (Jesus). People need to realize that the gods made this behavior socially acceptable to corrupt people society-wide and limit the time everybody receives, an important managerial strategy as we approach The End. You need to recognize this, see that this behavior is wrong and stop doing it. (Set a goal of empathy and compassion for all, for we are all disfavored::::Other people's disfavor is manifested in their particular way, just as your disfavfor is manifested in your particular way.)
Somewhere in your family history one of your forefathers created an offense that cast your family into this pattern of disfavor, which perhaps is manifested in the evil you committ. Do your ancestral research::You should be knowledgeable about your family history. Clues in the history may arise that could assist you. Keep an open mind to every possibility for they suggest matriarchal lineage is the norm.
Ask the gods for help, request guidance. I suspect they will offer you additional clues, and when you decipher these clues ask for forgiveness from those whom consider you an enemy.
Don't forget to ask for forgiveness from the throne, the Counsel and the Management Team, for the source of all disfavor began with them:::they pushed or requested/complied your forefather into his offense and made his decendants evil. Perhaps they didn't like him or maybe your family was among those selected to pay for the entire village. We see this type of behavior today as they single out a family member to pay for the whole family and how they singled out Africa to pay for the human race. (Just like they utilize scapegoatting, justification and positioning as a matter of policy so do they make one pay for the benefit of another. Never have a negative thought about the gods. They are managing the universe. This is how they decided to execute strategy for the end of the world, a plan that was written likley millions of years ago or more. Try to purify your mind of these thoughts and recognize the urgency of improving your relationship with them.)
Heal the disfavor with your enemies and with the Counsel/Management Team/ruling species, for the source of all disfavor began with them, the ability to forgive and respect in light of the disturbing truth revealed being the final test of the disfavored before they ascend.

They say this final test costed up to 50% of the candidates in the past. I want people to be forewarned, knowledgeable about the god's strategy, their plan for the "end of time" on Earth that we witness/experience and I want you to be in a state of forgiveness PRIOR to the date of your "test", for this is yet another tactic to limit the time of the disfavored.
The gods place great importance in positioning, not just to conceal their involvement, ensuring people are deceived, receptive to temptation and aren't motivated to pray, but also to preserve the "final test"'s productivity, for I suspect it is very effective.


This message illustrating the path may be the disfavored's last clue. All clues before have been more covert but this one is quite obvious indeed, which says time is running out.













The gods use the Celtics as scapegoats, initiating the annual practice of wickedness on Halloween by creating this event a thousand years ago. They use it to justify making the widespread celebration of evil acceptable behavior among the disfavored of the 20th century.
The celebration of Halloween has intensified as the Age of the Disfavored has become more pronounced and it is not by accident:::Holloween has changed in the last 50 years, its practice more widespread as time wore on, and Hollywood was used to justify making evil socially acceptable.
Halloween is a terrible corruptor of children, as is Santa Claus (the similarity between the names "Santa" and "Satan" is no coincidence). The Celtic event is used to justify corrupting the children through the celebration of Halloween and is one reason explaining their disfavor; consistant with their pathology the gods created the corruption, impliment its practice and scpaegoat the disfavored from whence it came.
I wonder if recent influence of the paganistic historical roots of the event is a way to legitimize the event among the disfavored, perhaps make it more inclusive (adults), create a sub-culture around paganism?
You're the disfavored. Purism is the best course of action (the Ahmish in the United States is the clue suggesting this). You don't have breathing room to engage in hedonistic activities like Halloween.




The English people's partaking of the tabloid's offerings, delighting in the misery of their own royal family, hurt the English people very badly at the end of the 20th century, as it hurts anybody when they enjoy another's misery.
Please note the irony, a constant in the positioning of the gods.

Affiliation with the Cathoic Church is ALWAYS a clue suggesting how disfavored a people are:::Italians, Irish, Filipinos, Latinos, etc.
A disfavored culture which was permitted to escape Cathoicism had to pay a price:::::used Henry VIII ('s clone) to behead Ann (initiating men's mistreatment of women?), the gods followed his reign with Elizabeth I who promoted the "stiff upper lip" mentallity to the women of England (which Elizabeth II did as well. The gods chose this strategy as we approached the end of the critical 20th century::::as women go so goes the whole society.).
The gods use Catholicism to justify hurting women of each culture it is inflicted upon:::Catholicism allows the gods the freedom to position justifying the masculinization of women. Women are favored, are the element of decency, and as they become more like the men the society becomes more disfavored, goes downhill.





They refuse to address black disfavor on a macro level. The Counsel/Management Team/ruling species (the gods) abuse black people so hard, from east African drought/famine to AIDS in Africa, the crack epiemic to gang membership, black-on-black violence to mass incarceration of their young. They refuse to address the issue of the prison industrial complex and its wholesale warehousing of young black men.
Prior to civl rights blacks had their own press.




Christianity is a dumping ground for the disfavored.
They share the gods didn't like Jesus for he helped the disfavored and taught them the right way to think:::to be loving, kind, forgiving, Be Christ-like!!!
The gods turned a negative into a positive and twisted the concept, dietized the prophet and subsequently made Christianity's disfavored followers irrationally defensive, for they are so close to the path and otherwise could easily find their way.
Every prophet can teach us something and we should be attentive to each.





Therapists prey on others. They earn their livlihood capitalizing on another's disfavor, knowing disfavor is why they are experiencing problems.
At some point in their lives they learn this truth. That point and time is the most crucial in their lives for if they make the wrong decision and stay in their industry/follow through with their education they hurt themselves very badly in the eyes of the gods.
Directing them into the industry (create passion)/telling them to take this path/compliance is a way to incurr evil on otherwise very good people (if you understand the demographic), people who normally would get a great amount of time, and it ensurs their stay is minimized if and when they do go.

Shai said...

Whew! Robyn don't you hate when anonymous posters come in with crazy azz messages most people don't read anyway.