Dream deferred...

So, I am depressed.

Well, more like severely dissapointed. Why? Because I just found out yesterday that now is not a good time to buy a new house and that numbers-wise we simply CANNOT afford to move. Housing prices for sellers are TERRIBLE and how about the real estate company that we are working with just told us that based on the area, the market value of the homes in our area, and what the costs potentially associated with selling a home (including a whopping $10,500 to THEIR asses alone as our "marketers"), they recommended that we put the house on the market for TWENTY-THOUSAND LESS THAN WHAT WE PAID FOR THIS BITCH THREE YEARS AGO! WHAT THE FUCK!!! And you KNOOOOOW that you never take a "offered" price for a home when you are looking, so that would mean we could come out like as much as $30-40,000 less than what we paid!!! HELL NO! We cannot afford to take a LOSS like that!!!!! We ain't got $30-40K just sitting there in the bank to pay off our CURRENT mortgage and get into another one!

I am so angry. More at myself though because I feel utterly and completely trapped because I can do nothing but wait.... til whenever....... After we moved here I realized something that in my blind impatient desire to get this house did not realize: This may not have been the best move. Why do I say that? Well.... seeing as though I knew NOTHING about how homes appreciate, how areas appreciate,etc. I went on pure emotion and the condition of the house: New. My husband also wanted new and definitely wanted to get a house too. Now, he takes my "dissapointment" as his "fault" because he is the "man" of the house. I tell him it's not his fault, but he feels guilty about us NOT being able to do what we wanna do (i.e. move) and so I try not to talk about it....cause TRUST this topic is never far from my mind and leave it to me, I'd be talking about it QUITE a bit. But I don't because I don't want him to feel bad.

When we got this house, we both wanted a "new construction" home, but the homes that we were looking at as potential "new construction" homes were either tooooo far from EVERYTHING (i.e. a 45-50min commute ONE WAY in NO TRAFFIC) or were too old for what we wanted. I cannot do a long commute, as a matter of fact, I think those who can should be commended! I also did not want to inherit other folks "cover up" jobs that they may have done in a home, on my first purchase. So, we got approved and began to look.

The house that we found are are in today is a new construction home smack dab in the middle of a LOOOOONG time established neighborhood,( but in a central location, close to people north, south, east and west of us. We are really in the middle of the metro-area.) What does that mean? That the homes that are here went through the "quick appreciation" in value 30 years ago and that our MORE EXPENSIVE home will not appreciate that much, that quick since everyone elses shit is old as dirt. And my home (though smaller in sq ft. than most of the homes near us tht are older) cost about $40K MORE than the older homes around us and therefore when they look at the area (as buyers would), this house probably wasn't worth what we bought it for, for the area. But I wanted a new home because my son was about 4 months old and I did NOT want to be in an apt and our lease was up anyway. Now I feel stuck and there is NOTHING that I can do about it but wait and hope....hope that the fucking housing market comes back. But mortgage interest rates are steady going the fuck up.... I guess I may see pigs fly first.

So, here we stand today. My husband is the type of person who could live in a cardboard box and be fine as long as it was warm and had cable. He could care less. I am completely opposite. I want to MOVE! There are several reasons that I want to move. One, we want to move BEFORE (which if this piss-ass housing economy in Michigan doesn't get better, I can't see it) our son is school age. Why? Because the area we are looking at moving into has FABULOUS public schools! My son has 2 years and I personally don't have much hope for this economy. ***sigh*** I also just want MORE SPACE!! I don’t have parties, functions, get togethers at my house because my house is soooooo small! All I have is a Kitchenette table that fits FOUR PEOPLE!!! How can I have more than ONE COUPLE over and be comfortable?????? I mean, I have living room furniture, but I would love to have a grown & sexy dinner party ....well, I can nix THAT idea living here! Also, there is no place for people to go! The basement is not finished and I can't see THAT getting done (due to cost) anytime REAL soon either!!! So, I just don't have people over though I love to entertain. I am just frustrated. And I feel like if I hadn't been SOOO quick to move and had looked at all of these factors,we might be able to buy a new house.

My husband is also of the "well, we just can't do it.....get over it and keep it moving" variety. I am still upset.

So, what this means to me is that we will have to wait LONGER for this house to appreciate to a "decent" level or for us to grow more equity in this house. When we got this house we said we'd be here for 3-5 years as this house is rather small---- we don't even have a formal dining room or formal living room. There is just a living/family room. My husband was like "well, we can now get the basement done and we will have more space". I guess I better make peace with that fuckin idea otherwise I will make myself sick***sigh***

I had thought that this might happen and that I would be O.K. with the idea of just “doing the basement” and that it would be all good if the #'s didn't come in right. But it’s not. I am pissed and frustrated and there is NOTHING.I.CAN.DO.TO.CHANGE.THIS. So... I am upset and left sitting here not unlike Langston..... lamenting.....