Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Can someone tell me

When it became a sin for you and your husband (or live-in boyfriend) to know where the other is or what plans the other has??? I meant to post about this long ago, but forgot, and we were talking abotu this at work again the other day, so I felt I needed to get this out.

I am of the notion that it is simply courteous to let your partner (ESPECIALLY if you are married) , know where you are/what plans you have. Now, I know there are some people (men and women) who disagree and do not like to be “questioned” as to their whereabouts.

I say, hell no. TBut more over...that would NEVER fly with me. #1, I have a kid and if something happens, wouldn’t you feel like crap if you found out that something happened to your child WAAAY late because all you let your spouse know was “I’m out” and was nowhere to be found. But even if I DIDN'T have a kid, it's just courtesy because you are NO LONGER living alone and no longer just out for self. If you are living together (married or not) it IS a partnership, not a "do as I want when I want to" scenario. Or at least to me it should not be.

Some people feel it’s confining. To them, I say “well you need to live by your FUCKING self!” Having your significant other/spouse/partner know where you are to ME should be as natural as breathing and should NOT be that difficult! My boss is one ‘nem people. She is not married, nor does she live with her of 8+ year boyfriend. She said she HAAATES is when he asks her “where is she going?”. I’m like “WHY?” and she’s like “Because I am grown and I don’t need to answer to anyone and I don’t ask HIM where he is going! So, why should he ask ME”. I’m like, the only reason you DON’T ask is because you don’t WANT him to!!! And believe me folks, my boss (though she’s a young as hell black chick) is a REAL.OLD.SOUL. and is verrrry goody-goody (meaning, she pretty much probably wouldn’t step on a fly!), so I can almost BET MONEY on the fact that she ain’t cheating or nothing (for those of ya’ll that thought that). She just has a real problem with feeling like she NEEDS to and is EXPECTED to tell someone her whereabouts. I’m thinking, well sista….. you gon have a haaaaaaard way to go. Or maybe not…maybe ya’ll will just both be like “I’ll see ya when I see ya”. But that sounds like a roommate and not a MATE to me.

Being courteous enough to tell someone “hey, I’m going to the library today, I’ll be back in a few hours" or whatever should NOT be that taxing..... I'm just saying ya'll. What happened to respect?????


Shai said...

Good post Robyn. SMH. If she is young then I see it has her trying to have some independence. You know since she had probably been under her parents thumb.

Then again folks like to feel in control of what people know about them. Who knows?

I tell my child I am going such and such. I mean I am the parent but hey it is being considerate to tell your teen child who is at home alone where you are.

My moms would be gone days and I would not know where she was and I had no phone number to contact her. It was scary wondering what was up.

Miss V said...

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the 8+ year boyfriend. WTF?

Blah Blah Blah said...

This is hilarious...I found Just cruising blogs and I found you.
I mean I didn't know it was!

Anyway, let me see if I can explain myself.
I'll tell you what I am doing and where I am going...just don't ask me.
I have an aversion to ppl questioning me about what I am doing or where am I going. Makes me rebellious and come up with a bullshit statement like... out!

8 years is way to effing long to be calling someone a boyfriend.