hello.....is it me you're looking for

So, it's ben awhile folks...two months to be almost exact. Alot has happened in this time, my son gained another year in age, I lost a few pounds, I gained a new car, my mom lost an appendix, I gained an excercise regimen, and I lost a friend.

Honestly I haven't felt like blogging and haven't had the mindset or the inclination to do so. I still don't feel "up to" blogging much, but here I am. I have a little something to talk about, so here goes. Personally I don't think but 2 or three people read this stuff anyway, so I didn't really see the value in writing ( I NEED to feel like SOMEONE is reading. ):-)

Too much to talk about, so I just won't. I will move on and talk about work. That's a safe place to be. So, I have begun to start taking these leadership classes that are required to become a leader. This is a great company that I work for and I absolutely LOVE the fact that I am in classes that MOST of the 17 people that are in this class with me had to wait 2,3 or in a few cases FIVE years to get to. If you are already at the company, you MUST take this class. If you come in as a manager, you MUST take it AFTER you are hired. When we had an Icebreaker at our first class I think the LOWEST seniority person was 1 1/2 years. I do feel honored that my boss, Boss Diva (who is black and TEN years my junior, but is the bomb!) put me in this.

So, what is my issue? Well...... this company is one that works hard and plays hard. I have no problem with working hard but I have a life and MANY.MANY of the people (whose demographic is certainly young) , work to the point where they do NOT have a life (or their life starts after 9:00...when they leave work).

Can you say "HELL NAW"???? that simply CANNOT be me. I have too many responsibilities and TOO much OTHER shit I wanna do in my life. I already feel like I NE.VER have "me time" unless I am getting my hair done and that really doesn;t count because I am really scared that if I become a manager, THAT kinda shit will be "expected" of me, and I will either 1. have an attitude if I am forced to do something like stay until 8:00 or some mess, more than once a month or 2. just NOT be able to stay and "people" start to look at my leaving "on time" badly or 3. be ready to quit.

I do not want ANY of those to happen, but I fear being a manager. I really do. I am ready to have the responsibility from 8-5pm, but do NOT (nor can my life even ACCOMODATE) extreme amounts of O.T. I have a small child and my husband works really late days and we have not one "backup" to count on to get our child with any reliability or even someone that would be dependable in doing so! It's a truth I hope not to face. I PRAY for a managerial position where if I HAVE to do something, I can take it home! That's the best I can hope for.