Friday, April 06, 2007

Pee with me?

Why is it that women have to go to the bathroom together?

I am asking this because I was about to go to the bathroom and one of my black co-workers (who I am cool with) said "Oh, I'll go with you". Now, I am sitting there thinking "uh...that's aw'iight pimpette.... I'm a big girl... I can go by MYSELF!" LOL

But she traipsed her ass in there anyway, as I cannot tell a grown assed woman she can't pee when she wants to!

But here's my thing..... I HATE it when people are even in the bathroom with me when I pee, HENCE my loathing of public bathrooms. It's just something about you being a flimsy-ass metal sheet away from someone who is doing one of the most (supposedly) private acts on earth!!! It's really DISGUSTING to me. Hearing it, smelling it (you all know folks, be letting out gas when they pee and sometimes (ladies please co-sign with me) bitches have just plain and simple ass funk---sometimes--- and it in general can be smelled from the stall NEXT to you!)


UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

So, with that said, I would prefer if there was NO ONE with me to hear me pee or smell my farts!!!! Dayummit! That's probably why I can't STAND talking to someone in the next stall while I am in there! I was in the bathroom yesterday and BossDiva came in and sat in the stall RIGHT.NEXT to me!!! The reason I knew it was here is that she was talking to someone as she entered the bathroom and I heard her voice. Do ya'll think I uttered a WORD???? I was also hoping she didn't look and see my boot and say "Robyn is that you?" as I was getting my pants up and on ! I HATE bathroom banter! It seems so inappropriate! And I don't care if it's my BEST friend, my momma, or WHOEVER!!! Don't chat it up with me when I don't even condone us being THIS close to each other's "personal" bidness!!!! UUUUUGH!!!! And my best friend is good for wanting to use the "buddy" system when going to the bathroom. She is all things "girlie" and fru-fru-ie and likes that we're doing the "girlie thing" of going to the bathroom together....after all that's what girls do, right???? Well, let's start there..... I am a woman ----- not a fuckin girl----- I do not NEED yo ass with me for company , protection or anything ELSE in the potty! LOL But she gets REALLY irriated and we have actually gotten into ARGUMENTS because we've been out before and I have REFUSED to go with her! So, now, I just suck it up and go...even though I am cringing all the while! To me it's worse if someone you KNOW is able to "hear" you pee! I could care less about strangers! Well..not really... I hate for THEM to be in the bathrom too! LOL

So, if ya'll see me in the bathroom.... DON'T holla!

6 comments:

Kris said...

I totally co-sign on this post. I hate the bathroom buddy system. The only time to women should go to the bathroom together is to pretend they have to powder their noses while they are really dishing about the sexy piece of chocolate with dreds they both spotted across the dance floor or the hot mess they saw grinding in the corner.

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA...

You's a fool!

I remember this one VERY DRUNKEN night that I went out with friends and my stomach was GURGGLING BADLY. There was a long ass line to get into the restroom and I had to go in there and handle my bizz...so I go into the stall (which is more like a little room with a toilet and high ceilings) and I BLOW THAT BITCH UP! Cuz yo...that shit (pun intended) DOES happen! I call out to my bestfriend, "MMMYYYYYYRRRAAA!!"

She's like, "Yeah Tam...wassup?"

"I'm BLOWIN THIS BITCH UP!!!"

Then I fall out crackin up - because remember, I'm drunk as hell...

I wipe my ass, flush and gain my composure. I step outta the stall and tell the next chics in line, "Yall don't REALLY wanna go in there right now...I just finished blowing it UP!!" All the black women in line are crackin up and all the white women in line are freaking OUT (because they REALLY have to pee and I just finished droppin a stink bomb!) HAHAHAHAHAHA...

I also made sure to tell them bitches that I didn't care what they thought because I'd NEVER see them again! So...ummm...wanna go to the bathroom together? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

chezniki said...

I never understood that either. I thought maybe it was a security/ safety thing. Although, a lot of gossip and club quarterbacking does happen in the bathroom,
"Gurl, I think Ima go home with Luke."
"Okay well give me his cell number, tag and address, just in case. You got condoms"
"Yeah Gurl right here in my purse..."

LOL

1969 said...

Yeah...what is up with that? I like PRIVACY in the bathroom. And what's with people wanting to talk through the stalls????What the Fudge?

Tired of being broke said...

LMAOOOOO @ the phoenix

Fave said...

wow...I didn't know it was like THAT.