Saturday, March 31, 2007

As Diva would say.. "TW"

Hey ya'll! Are ya back for another exciting look into my mind? Hope so :-)

How about there is this white chick at work that is pregnant. She is kinda dingy, but nice and very "by the book" and "everything-the-right-way-all-the-time-oh-my-God-you-can't-break-ANY-protocol" type of chick. Anyway she's nice enuf. We'll call her the "6footer" (cause the bitch is tall as HELL and damn near 6 ft.). So, one day we were at work and this other white chick, "Wrinkles" (so named becuase she is my age...36 and has MORE wrinkles than most 50 year old black people I know) and I were talking about how big 6footer's belly has gotten. She's like "shhhh...don't tell 6footer ..... she'll be really self conscious...."

WTF???? Look.... I look at it like this: If you DIDN'T want to look like you swallowed a DINOSAUR, DON'T FUCK AND GET PREGNANT!

I just looked at Wrinkles like what the fuck ever. Because.... about 3-4 days earlier, we were talking .....again...about pregnancy and for those of you who do NOT know...I had a HORRIBLE "birthing experience". I had the BEST pregnancy (not one single day of morning sickness and just a bit of sciatica in my right leg. But my DELIVERY..... well how about to make a VERY long story, short.... I was being induced for FIVE days (for those of you ladies who have kids but have never been induced, I have had it told to me from friends who had children both naturally and by induction that it is MUCH more painful to be induced. Top that off with the fact that MOST people who are induced have the baby the SAME.FUCKIN.DAY....well, not me... SIX days later my child was born). And maybe because I have no problem "sharing" my story, I have no interest in being "hush hush" about any part of MY experience. day, 6footer is saying that she has to go take the "diabetes test" (this is a test that prenant women have to take to see if they have Gestational Diabetes at about 6 months or so of pregnancy......the test entails drinking the equivalent of some flat pop...either orange or lemon lime...that has 2 cups of sugar poured into 8oz of it's SYRUPY sweet. They then test your blood after and hour to see of your body has properly conpensated for the "sugar rush" and if not you would have Gestational Diabetes. They will then make you come BACK to take ANOTHER test, if the results are bordeline. This time you have to take a FOUR HOUR test, in which you do the same thing, but you have to sit there .....can't leave or eat anything....for four hours to see for SURE if you have it.)

Well, I DID have Gestational Diabetes and went through this,so I was saying "yeah, that was a pain...blah, blah.... sitting there for 4 hours was a pain...blah blah...". So, I said to 6footer "I am sure you will be fine.... it isn't SUPER, SUPER common, so you will be just fine". I was then talking to Wrinkles who has 3 kids, and said (kinda away from 6footer but not whispering either)"Wrinkles, do you think that Gestational Diabetes is common??" Why did this bitch give me a dumb ass blank look and I had to ask her AGAIN "do you think it's common?". She was apparently trying to give me the "Shut the fuck up about this and don't scare 6footer" by NOT saying anything. She was just like "I don't know.... " dry as shit, with that dumb-ass look on her face. I then "got it" and just said "Oh", gave her a disgusted look and walked away. I wanted to SLAP them wrinkles off her pasty-ass face! UGHHHHHHHHHH! I was sooooooooo irritated!

Man, FUCK 6footer!!!

If you are SCARED to hear about complications or other shit about pregnancy INCLUDING THE PAIN OF BIRTH..which IS potentially (the pain part)in your near future, then BITCH YOU SHOULDN'TA OPENED YO FUCKIN LEGS!!! And that my friends is REALLY the way I look at it. You should be INTERESTED to hear shit or at least just for informational sake in CASE ill shit happens to you!

Do you think that I DIDN'T want to hear about the possible causes of "SIDS" just because I didn't want to face it or AIDS for that matter or any other complication because it hadn't happend to my child??? NO! That is just stupid! Fuck that! Man the fuck up....that's just life and reality. I HATE PAIN , so how many times do you think I heard people say it hurt???? I, unlike her ass, wanted to know more so I could "potentially" be as prepared (as one can be) and to just have general knowledge or to take preventative measures (i.e. talking to my dr. about epidural's or other pain control) so that I could be PREPARED just in case. Was I scared? HELL YES! But did I need to FACE THE FUCKING FACT that things just MAY happen to me?? YES! I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate people who try to "run" away from even being informed about shit outside of what you "hope will happen" or "how you want it to go" (which is usually NEVER the way it goes). That's just ignorant to me. I guess that's why it bothered me so much.....

I was so irritated by both 6footer (who had acted scary about birth/pregnancy details a bit, before) and Wrinkles that all I could do was take it back to what Diva says....... "TW..... (they white)". Black people TYPICALLY aren't all scary and stupid about the fucking facts of life! Maybe that's because we have it harder on a general basis than they do ANYWAY.... but I also think that whites and blacks just view certain things ...differently. I have told my story MANY times (to blacks AND other whites) and I have never had that kind of "oooh, don't scare the pregnant lady" type of reaction.

Whatever. Call it mean, but I will CONTINUE to put my .02cents in as I see fit. Not to scare her but not to censor my experience since these "stories" typically come out in the midst of "group conversation".

If she's "scared" to hear MY STORY (see: dumb ass MY STORY will probably NOT be YOUR story) then she's gon have a long road ahead of her goofy ass.


Knockout Zed said...

That shit is majorly silly. Why the fuck wouldn't you wanna hear about shit that may happen as you go down a road you haven't been down before? Them hoes are silly!


TooSerious said...

LOL! That's a classic TW trait (Diva gets that term from me, one of my roommates in college made it up and it stuck. it means, They White and we would make that the reason for all the dumb shit that they would do.) they are delusional most of the freakin' time.

Robyn said...

@Zed: RIGHT! That's what I said!!!

@TS: OH!!!! I had no idea! LOL she done stol'tcho shit man!!! LOL But for real..... I could give a shit LESS and will contiune to "bring that bitch to the light"! Hmmph, just watch me....

Aziza said...

I know that this is supposed to be a somewhat serious post, but I was laughing part of the way. Those "TW" folks are too crazy sometimes. I try not to even figure them out.

Diva said...

TW, TW, TW...that's all I can say.