Saturday, June 21, 2008

I'm free

Well.... in one way.

To all of the people who happen by (yea ALL THREE OF YOU...this one's for you Tam :-), I have been set free. I have been laid off AGAIN from the FUCKED UP COMPANY that has LITERALLY kept me from blogging (or the fear or being found out that is)...let me explain....

Abouot 2 1/2 months ago I vowed (mainly to Tam) to "blog more frequently". Not long after that my "boss" (a black woman mind you...we'll call her BAL... short for "bitch ass leader") came to me and told me that she had had a 360 degree review( that is a review that your subordinates do on YOU, their leader) and that some people felt that "there are some people who weren't doing as much as others and that she thought that "they were talking about me". Now, mind you, I DO my job, I have never had ONE BAD THING said about me to any of my superiors (as the "BAL" said to me)by ANY of the people that I service! NOT ONE! As a matter of fact, I had BUILT strategic relationships with the people I serve AND gained their trust AND aI knew what I am doing. I have been in HR for more than 11 years and I have worked hard to get here. I am knowledgeable and a good mix of easy-to-talk-to and "can-put-the-hammer-down-when-i-have-to". My BOSS (the company I used to wodk for HATES that word...they call people "leaders"...they hate it SO much that people will look at you like you have grown four horns and six tails if you use that word. Boss REALLY.IS.A.4.LETTER.WORD). The people I serviced said GOOD things to my boss and I know this because she has TOLD ME these things, and I can;t tell you how often I got a sincere thank you for ficxing some problem, coming up with some solution and I am sure she neveeeeeeer heard 1/2 of it. But I am not one to "boast and brag" and so towards the would KILL me that all she was looking at were a bunch of numbers that would only indicate that someone was working HARDER, not smarter. Reas on.... that will be explained later....

>Basically that company has SO. MUCH . TECHNOLOGY at the drop of a HAT that they do not know what to do with themselves. So.... BAL decided to 1. check my internet usage 2. check the times I swiped in with my badge in the morning and 3. check my phone usage...... FOR A 2 FUCKING-MONTH PERIOD!!

And what did she go on.... guess.....

1. I was using the internet too much---as per the reports---which I have seen because since I was in HR, this is what "I" used to do to OTHER LEADERS...get their people's SHIT PULLED if their leader suspected anything!!Now as far as mine goes I would go on and off the internet all day. Looking up a random website, going on, going on Google, going to YouTube(hardly ever this one though) and other random news stories,etc. I personally think that it appeared to be too much because often times I would simply leave pages UP on the screen while I went to lunch to a meeting,etc. And here's the kicker...this environment is like a "advertising" environment. If you have no idea abotut what an environment like that is's TOTALLY ATYPICAL CORPORATE! You can see people having "midday stress relief events" like throwing a football, playing a game, playing darts or whatever. The IT team actually BLOCKS people from going on Myspace and YouTube and Facebook-- except for me & my team because I was in HR and we were NEVER blocked from ANYTHING--- (this just lets you know how YOUNG the general population is there!) until 11:00am. Then people can go on there during their lunches. So the company would kinda ENCOURAGE them to go to these sites during the hours of 11:00-2:00pm. I say this to also say that there are TV's posted in EVERY AREA (meaning every 100 feet or so, there is a flat screen TV) that is usually turned to CNN news or something, but in the break rooms there are BIG ASS TV's ----- with cable mind you----up in there for people to watch! So, I say all of this as a background.... MOST people in this company were on and off the fuckin INTERNET allllll dayum day! In fact I hope her ass checked OTHER people's shit because I GUARANTEE YOU that their shit may look excessive too! And she KNEW this.

So why was she fucking with me? Me & her got off to a Rocky start last year. When I came to her team it was because all of my dept was "temporarily displaced---yeah right!) to other teams. I came from the Recruiting team. Well, when I started, I was "technically" still under "boss diva" and working for BAL. So...all I was given was MUNDANE, RETARTED ASS DATA entry shit to do! I Was not USED to sitting at a desk doing shit that was that repetitive and that boring, so I would often go 100 feet over to my OLD team and chat with them. She didm't like that. She said that I was talking too much and told my OLD leader (boss diva) that I seemed "unengaged". First of all you heartless, non-sympathetic BITCH... how CAN I seem "engaged" when you have given me DATA ENTRY SHIT to do for 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!! AND I am on edge (as was ALL of the HR dept---of which there were about 60 people) that we are not even going to HAVE A JOB in the next week!! How can be engaged in that shit????!! After I found out that my recruiting job was NOT coming back, I was lucky enough that BAL somehow liked me enough to STAY on her team. But we kept having "small" issues here and there. Top that off with the fact that because she was SOOOOO busy, once I learned the policies and procedures I hardly EVER caleld her for anything. She didn;t like that I felt that it was BULLSHIT that she was always making a comment "Sometimes you just go 'dark' on me and I don't hear from you....".

**insert stank ass look****

Here's my thing: 1/2 the time when I NEEDED her bitch ass she was "unreachable". the other times, I KNOW.WHAT.I.AM.DOING. Period. And I DON'T NEED YOU. It's not anything AGAINST your ass, but I have been in HR long enough to know MOST things that I was faced with. When I didn't know, I asked. But for real. If I called her at 10:00 in the AM because a leader wanted to fire someone, her ass may not get back with me until 4:45 (that was her fucking trademark and I SWEAR she did it to IRRITATE ME because she KNEW that I LITERALLY needed to leave at 5:00 on the DOT --no later than 5:10 to GET my son by 6:00 because of the distance away that I was from my son's school. Don't call me at 4:45 and want to have a complex conversation about shit bitch! But was the other thing. The "company's" general start and end times were 9:00-6:00. As a rule that was what 98% of people worked. When I came IN I told Boss Diva that I HAD TO work 8:00-5:00 because I had to get my son. I say this to say that because mostly the WHOLE company worked a different shift, people really were insensitive to me having to leave and I felt like I was "cheating" the system (and felt guilty as SHIT when I really should not have)when everyone else had to stay and work when I had to say "ummm..... I have to go....". I think that this was part of what started the "I'm not sure is she is pulling her weight" theory. Top this off with the fact that except for her GROWN ass kids BAL had--meaning they could FEND for themselves---NO ONE else on my team of 10 people hade kids!!! So they had no REAL sympathy either.FOr those of you withoiut kids... you THINK you may have sympathy but you don't. Trust me. When you have a small child, your life and constraints are COMPLETELY different! And though BAL had gone through this, it was OBVIOUSLY too long ago to be remembered as her kids were 22 and 16

2. I was NOT coming in on time. Now this one I admit to. I am terrible with time especially if there is no one watching my ass. I have ALOT to do (just like everyone else...i know) in the morning and getting a 3 now 4 year old up and out the house, so yes I took advantage of the fact that my boss literally NEVER came to the location I worked out of ( lemme explain: all of the HR people that did my job worked in different buildings for the most part and hardly EVER got a chance to see each other. This also begs the question WHY IN THE FUCK DID SOMEONE FEEEEEL THAT MY ASS DIDN'T HAVE SHIT TO DO????? ASSES! They weren't even THERE with me!) So, my start time was 8:00...I was getting there at 9:00-9:30 . The only thing is that I basically NEVER took a lunch (at least that was the 1/2-assed justification I gave when confronted because I had alllllready been prepared for "what if she says some shit about that". But, because I have to leave at 5:00 on the DOT to pick up my son because myu husband literally CAN'T, her thing was "well.... you aren't even working a FULL EIGHT HOURS a day". What could I say? Nothing. And yes I was mad as fire at this point, but let me finish..

3.I was on the phone too much too. YUP! Alot of my shit that I had to do on any given day was clerical....hell it's the nature of HR..... documentation is our middle NAME. Well.... I CAN do work and be on the phone at the same time. So I did. My girl who worked at mind-numbing place and I would chat for at LEAST 2 hours total each day. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Hell there were slow days what can I say?


This is NOT why I was let go (at least not the full reason, but I am pretty sure that this discovery of information made me the LEAST desireable candidate to KEEP when the downsizing issue came up (and BAL had the NERVE to say when she separated me "this had nothing to do with your performance or was based on the needs of the company...blahdy-fucking-blah).

Whatever bitch.

Sooooo this brings us to why I haven;t been blogging. Her ass let me know that I must
#1 Reduce the amount of personal phone calls (Check! Got an umlimited calling plan on my cell and STILL talked at work, cuz I had an office..NEXT!)

#2Reduce the amount of internet usage (yeah ok waynch, but if you pull ALL THESE OTHER MUTHAFUCKA'S SHIT... I GUARANTEE YOU that their asses are on the internet ALL DAY TOO! As a matter-of-fucking-fact, I told a couple of people who do EXACTLY what I do about what went down and they were like "hell ,I hope she doesn't check MY SHIT...cuz, I have my internet up ALL DAY too!". You don't know HOW BAD I wanted to tell her ass that shit!)

And #3 You need to adhere to an 8-5 schedule (I tried, but I was usually there at 8:10-8:20..... I swear I tried...).

So, there it is. And check this out: one of my girls (black girl) who was a manager on the team I supported hipped me to the plan 2 days before it happened. I am SOOOO thankful to her that she was able to tell me this shit BEFORE it went down, because guess what? I called my ass in on the DAY BEFORE it was supposed to go down(a Thursday) and had the NEXT day scheduled off already for my son's birthday weekend! Because you don't GET paid out for sick time and I had 4 days left, so I said FUCK THEM! I ain't working ANOTHA fucking minute for them bastids!

My thing was "hell... they gon have to fire me on MONDAY!!!!" :-)

Ummmm, yeah ok..... so then I talked to my OTHER girl and she was like "i just got let go and such-and-such just got let go BY PHONE" (i had noooo idea who was getting let go because apparently "I" was one of em!")

BY PHONE???????????? WTF????????????????

Sure enough BAL called my house later that day and I played sick to the HILT because I didn't want to have her think that I was faking being sick and NOT get paid for that day.... they do have that right ya know...... So this bitch left a message and I really started not to call her back, but I said "fuck it...why delay the inevitable". I called and got separated BY FUCKING PHONE too!

So, I am looking for a job---again---- in the state with THE WORST unemployment in the country...and trying not to get depressed. For real. The last time I was SO STRESSED the WHOLE 2 1/2 months I was off that I could not enjoy not ONE DAY! Not until I found out I had a job and by then I only had like 3 days or so before I had to start,so of all that time off, I enjoyed (i.e was at peace) for 3 days.

But do you know what is funny? When I found out THIS TIME, I felt a strong feeling of RELIEF. I really grew to hate that company and how they did business. They were plain and simple running it like a "good ole boys" network and I hated that. Whoever made the company the MOST money could PRETTY much get away with doggin people, talking to them like they were SHIT and would HAVE A JOB! WHy? Because they were making the company money. Plain and simple. That is NOT the way business should be run! For real! I will not put their name out there but let's just say.........they are a giant in the WORST INDUSTRY AROUND THESE DAYS in this economy, so I'll let YA'LL figure that out! And they flat OUT treat their "worker bees" like SHIT! They do this because the company has a very YOUNG dynamic and a very unmarried, no kid-having population. So, the company takes advantage of the " you ain't got shit to do" mentality.

After all the shit above happened, I was MORE than ready to leave....I have been applying for the past 4-5 months (sporadically, though) and have JUST gotten one call and that was through a kinda "hook up". I have an interview next week and in the meantime I have started to participate in Warm Spirit. If you've never heard of it, go to and take a look. It is an all natural whole-body products company that promotes wellness and healthy living through it's products. (also, let me know if you see something you like... I can order it for you and probably get you a free gift!)

I am also going to try to focus on my photography. While I want another job, part of me just wants to stay home and work on my photography and be a Warm Spirit Consultant.

So... wish me luck.... and I WILL be posting more now because I am FREE from my bondage!

In the words of Run DMC.... "dere it is....."


Nexgrl said...

I am sorry to hear that you are once again searching for employment. It seems like they may have done you a favor. I hope that you receive something better in the near future. Good luck on the job search/photography/warm spirit quest.

Disco said...

Hey Nex!

Thanks for the good karma! I guess along this road we call life, everything happens for a reson. I am trying to "let go" and let God. Really. If I go back into corporate america, so be it. I still want to have a SECOND stream of income though to cushion more of a fall. ya know? :-)

The Goddess said...

Dang, that's a trip. I hate that sneaky underhanded crap. I'm glad your girl was able to fill you in on what was going on. YOu been complaining about this job for a minute, so It's a good thing you're "FREE",

Wishing you luck finding something cause I know it is tough these days.