Second week in hell....

My second week in hell……

I ain’t made it to purgatory yet.

Well, things are making more sense here but I am STILL going crazy and as of yesterday when I had TWENTY bodies that are needed to fill 13 separate positions, I almost lost it. On Wednesday I was SO FRUSTRATED that I almost broke down in tears.

My boss, a.k.a. Boss Diva had said “yeah….. you got a few too many positions…I’mma give some of them to African1”. I was thinking cool. Well, she and I had scheduled a time to go over the “workload” and how the jobs were progressing (before she left to go out of town) and just how I was feeling in general. I had been said that I needed to talk to her about the workload. I was given NO. LEARNING.CURVE. I was just thrown into the fire and the heat was getting a little too hot. But I didn’t want her to think “oh shit….. I hired the WRONG person, she can’t handle it”. I didn’t know what to say to her. I was so irritated on Wednesday just THINKING about talking to her that I couldn’t even sleep right. I mean, even though she is black and cool and young and very much more like me than anyone I have worked with in a LONNNNG time….. she is STILL my boss and I STILL got the feeling that because she has been here for almost 3 years that she is “desensitized” to the level of PURE.WORK that they expect people to do around here!

Thought confirmed.

Between Wednesday and Thursday 4 more positions came open. Well, when we went to talk yesterday, she was like “O.K…..I completely understand……. well I will take these 3 and I will give ONE to African1”. WTF?????? ONE?????????????????? He has FIVE bodies that needs for positions. I have 19!!!!! I mean, does she NOT see that what she SAID she would do (i.e. take some pressure off me) was negated by the fact that I really HAD 19 and then when the 4 came in were all that she TOOK I was left in the same boat relatively.

Well, we talked yesterday and I had to tell her that I am FLAT OUT overwhelmed (I didn’t tell her that I wanted to cry the day before). Now, my girls Diva and TS used to work with this girl and when I was telling TS that I Was so upset and overwhelmed because people want EVERYTHING NOOOOOOOOOOW and I am ALWAYS feeling behind, she said “ you know what Robyn? Your boss, BossDiva, was JUST.LIKE.THAT. when she went to that company….I used to talk to her ALL THE TIME and she used to feel just as overwhelmed”. Well, TS made me fedl a bit at ease so I was looking forward to going into this meeting and coming out with at LEAST ½ of the 19 jobs taken away since I HAVE only been here TWO FUCKIN WEEKS.

Uh…… how about (though I love her cause she’s cool) BossDiva has OBVIOUSLY forgotten how stressful it is and how TIME consuming just sourcing, phone screening, interviewing for ONE job is and when you have ALL THESE DIFFERENT people breathing down your THROAT and back, that it’s simply ridiculous cause she took four of the (since Wednesday ) now TWENTY-THREE positions away, but that still left me WHERE? RIGHT THE FUCK BACK WHERE I STARTED!!!!!!!!! So you know what? I now have this feeling about it: I will bust my ass and do what I can, but it will GET done when it GET’S done! FUCK THAT! I just ENDED a stressed all to HELL job (though I was stressed for different reasons) but I am NOT going to be stressed here like THAT too. No. I mean, she just DIDN’T.GET.IT. And I do not know how BETTER to make her get it.

She started trying to problem solve and was like “Well, maybe we can have interview blitz days where all we do is interview…….just tell the managers that they will not see resumes for 5-7 days after the job is posted because you are working on many positions……”. I was thinking “BITCH! Do you NOT remember how it was for YOU???? What I NEEEEEEEEEED is about 8-9 less JOBS to focus on since I am still BRAND-STANKIN-NEW!!!!!! THAT is what I NEEEEED!!!!! Or do you just CARE NOT TO remember how it was for your ass???” And ya’ll I didn’t cut NO words for the most part with her ass. I TOLD HER, FLAT THE FUCK OUT (though I left out the part about being stressed almost into tears….she DAMN sure didn’t need to know THAT!) that I was STRESSED, OVERWHELMED and VERY OVERWHELMED. Period. There was no mincing of words. So I do not understand why I still have 19 jobs and there is African1 floating around with 5 (oops, she gave him ONE of mine, so he has 6) jobs when I was PROMISED some help. Giving him one funky ass job AIN’T help!

I just feel that I need to be more able to “ease” my way , but that apparently ain’t to be. So…… I will make my OWN ease and take it like THAT!

Hmmpph.

Lata.

And don’t be fooled people…..I am STILL happy to have a job!.