Monday, December 19, 2005

Cookie Monster

For an update on Your Grandmama Ain’t like Mine click here

On to today’s post…….

You know….stupid assed people are EVERYWHERE. My proof of this? Well, today I was walking around my office and saw this HUGE basket of cookies. People typically bring in stuff for the WHOLE office to eat and sit it up front near the receptionists desk---especially this time of the year. And everyonei s welcome to the goodies. People bring in cookies, fudge, cold cuts & cheese, bagels, doughnuts, and other assorted food products of the like.

Well,in our office there are divisions. For example, I work in HR, there’s also finance, investigations, tech support etc. Well, this flighty woman who is 5”0 and petite is the admin. asst. for that group. We’ll call her Molly Doogood. Her daughter used to work up here in our office, but now she has transferred downstairs to a related, but separate entity within our company. Her daughter routinely takes her for granted and though she is nice, she is a dingbat, we-must-follow-evveeeeeeeeeeeeeery-rule-to-the-tee kinda person. For example, one day I asked her to scan a photo that I needed to have placed on disk. She tells me “Umm…… I’m not sure that I will be able to do that…… this printer/scanner isn’t TECHNICALLY supposed to be used to scan anything other than “company” stuff”


**crickets**

DON”T YA’LL KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW that I wanted to slap the holy horseshit outta this bitch and tell her to get a life and that I was going to slap her ass if she didn’t scan this fucking picture?????? There was NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason why she couldn’t have done it. Also, and let me say this, I know some of ya’ll are thinking ‘well, Robyn maybe she just doesn’t LIKE you’……. Uh….. no. That bitch is just dingy as fuck that way! I HATE people like her that you have to cajole and convince to do some inane ass bullshit like scan a fucking picture and put it on disk because they operate under some “boyscout honor” type bull!! Oooooh that burns my ass cheeks!!! That’s where whites and black are totally different I believe. A black person TYPICALLY win’t care as long as they #1. ain’t getting in trouble for it or #2. if someone does find out that it can’t be traced back to them. As you might have guessed she’s the white one and I’m the black one! HA HA!!! I mean, was it REALLY necessary to even think TWICE about doing something so small and stupid???? I didn’t think so.

So, this same bitch made some cookies and brought them in. BUT. She placed them in the ‘investigations’ area on top of the cabinet over there. My area is RIGHT next to the investigations area by the way. Now, I guess the cookies were supposed to be for the ‘investigations group’, but being the bitch that I am I saw them and went over there and was like “ OOH cookies!” and went to grab one. One of the investigators that I have a good repore with said “Ay…… you’re not an investigator”. I said “Well, I am today!” as I proceed with my grabbage ( I know….that ain’t a word) of the cookie (singular). I then read the sign (which I hadn’t done previously) and it said something like “For the Investigations Team, Thanks for all your hard work!”. And just so you can have perspective here, there were like 50-60 cookies in this BIG-ASS Tupperware thing and there are like 9 investigators. So I said, “Oh…..is this JUST for the investigators, meaning, can no one else have any”. The guy that I have the good repoire with says “I dunno” with a raised tone at the end of it which sounded ½ joking, ½ not. So, I start thinking to myself “Oh bitches PLEASE…… ya’ll are selfish as hell for just having this big-ass tub o’ cookies over here in the 5th place!”

So, he says , ½ jokingly mind you “ Well, you better ask Molly Doogood if you can” .

**Crickets**

OOOOOOOOOOO. K. you have GOT to be joking right? It was ONNNNNNEfreakin cookie for God’s sake! So, I roll my eyes so hard I'm surprised they didn't pop the hell OUT and ½ jokingly say to Molly Doogood Molly, can I have a cookie that’s for the investigators?” (Now, I hope ya'll know I ALREADY had a second one in my hand AS I WAS ASKING because from where she sits she can't even see the area where the cookies are). She looks and says “”I guess so….. these are for the investigators though so you might wanna ask them…..” (more eye rollage on my part). Ya’ll don’t know how baaaad I wanted to say “I’m Rick James BITCH” and slap that hoe and walk away.

So I fake-ass laughed and said ‘whatever’ under my breath and walked away mad at MYSELF that I didn’t recall the memory of how STUPID her ass can act about everyday dumb ass shit. But I got another cookie anyway! (WOOO-HOO !!!!!)

Stupid people….let’s shoot them to the center of the sun and be done with it!

Signing off,
Cookie Monster out…..

9 comments:

Nina MM said...

Girl, you are better than ME. I would have taken that cookie that I had already palmed, and put it right back in there. LOL What the fuck are her cookies made out of? Flour that Jesus made? Fuckouttaherewiddat. Fuck Molly and her cookies. If she wanted to dole out the cookies, then she should have put them in individual ziplock bags and gave them exactly to the people that she intended to have eat them.

I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of eating one of them little brick hard shits, if I was you. CTFU!

Knockout Zed said...

That's some real cracka shit. They follow the rules to the letter except when it came to stealing human beings from their continent of origin. Fuckers.

KZ

nikki said...

the folks you work for are ASSES. the white folk i work for are too shady to call me out on my shit cuz they know i'll call them out on their shit, too. start getting the sheet together with all of the fucked up things they do and i guarantee they won't be giving you grief in the future.

chele said...

Dang...all that for a cookie. Hope it was chocolate macademia nut! They kill me with that ...

LadyLee said...

Dang Robyn, you shoulda jacked the whole container of cookies!!

"Stupid people….let’s shoot them to the center of the sun and be done with it!".

Hey, I'm down for that...

Shawn said...

Folks sure can be petty. Don't put it all on YT, Blacks can be petty too! At my office HR can eat anywhere they want, no questions asked....LOL.

P. Alonzo Harris Jr. said...

interesting...i had the same experience at my job about two weeks ago... i let it stay on my mind for good amount of days....

i should have blogged about it...

Freaky Deaky said...

Molly Doogood sounds petty and annoying. The only good thing about people like her is that one day she'll need you for something. It will be important to her and insignificant to you and she'll never see it coming when you tell her no. Keep a camera with you and take a picture of the expression on her face when that day comes. It will make your day.

Chubby Chocolate said...

That's some straight bitch made shit. That pisses me off. You handled that well. I don't know how you can thrive amongst a sea of white, corporate tight aisses.