Monday, November 21, 2005

My girl is gone

Today is a very sad day for me. No, not for the usual reason like death or somethin’ but due to the fact that my girl that I worked with got fired on Friday. This has all been due to a terrible drawn-out series of events culminating in this catastrophe. Some her fault, some (I feel) catalystically (<----is that a word??) caused by my boss and her hard-asshole like ways.

I posted about my girl not too long ago because she had let herself and self-esteem get sucked in the undercurrent of depression and I saw her heading down this road (i.e. calling off when she has NO paid-time,being late because she’s fed up with how my bosses apathy shows through in how she treated my girl,etc.). To refresh ya’ll, my girl had a miscarriage and sunk into (what I believe was ) post-partum depression. She was off for a month without pay mind you, and due to the ensuing financial woes, sunk deeper and deeper into not wanting to come to work, calling off…..ya’ll see the pattern. My boss, while it is NOT her job to be a friend to my girl, CHOSE to make shit more difficult because she is a miserable white woman who tried to have kids and had 6 miscarriages herself, so early in my girl’s pregnancy, she was TRIPPIN about her having extreme morning sickness. Anywho…..fast forward……

Because she had NO paid time to take, she started getting written up for her absences. She had gone through the whoooooooooooole progression of discipline and seemed unphased. She simply had had it with my bioss and this job. It disturbed me, but I held onto a sly glimmer of hope that she would NOT let herself seep deeper up under the damn rug. But she did. Continually. I had people (BLACK People. That knew her and were super-cool with her) ask me “is she on drugs??” I would reply “no, I don’t think so….she is depressed”. I still don’t think so and STILL think she is depressed. Things just got to the point where she was totally disgusted by everythign this job represented. How can you tell someone that they're fuckign up their lives when their ears are sealed shut? She would not heed ANY of my suggestions to go to a psychologist or SOME type of doctor to get herself checked out. She lost weight and though she is a VERY pretty girl, she began to take on a thin and tired look. This is a girl who used to pride herself on being “together” and it is as if her life just got too much to bear and just when she thought she could lick it, it sucked her in.

You see, this girl has has more family problems and more people who depended on her than the law allows and she now has no job. I feel for her, I really do. But I will also miss my friend. She was my confidante in a sea of drama and my oasis in this desert wasteland I call my job. I looked forward to coming to work becuse I knew I had a "buddy" that at one time as least, I could depend on. I can only liken it to the feeling of being at a new high school on the first day and seeing your DAWG and immediately feeling at ease because you had "someone" there whom you knew. It was like that. Though we were from different backgrounds, we were so similar in nature, disposition and thoughts that we'd sometimes finish each others sentences. Not, I know you're probably saying "well, damn, it AIN'T like the girl is DEAD or something...ya'll can hang out". I know we can, but there was just nothing like having her here and being able to count on her presence to get me through the tough days at this job. I mean, this IS where I spend MOST of my waking hours. Think about it. I really feel alone and like I have no one to watch my back. Sad, huh?

But I'll make it through. I betcha one thing, my boss SHO won't hire anyone she thinks that I'l become friends with agian. LOL She'll probably hire an older white woman! LOL

12 comments:

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

So sorry to see her go, I've sunk into that kind of depression more than once. It's hard as hell to keep fighting the good fight when you stay overwhelmed and drained. You're both in my prayers-- she for provision and healing, you for peace in the work storm.

Knockout Zed said...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Not my boo! I'll miss her pretty yella ass. Even though I'm not in the "D" anymore, there was always that outside chance she'd come to her senses and give me the ass. I hope she lands on her feet.

KZ

Chubby Chocolate said...

I remember you talking about her. I hope she gets out of her funk...And she won't be able to get another job until she heals...Interviewers will be able to read it all over her face.

Robyn said...

@eclectic: thanks girl for all of your prayers. I appreciate it more than you know! :-)
@Zed: yeah....it's true...it was ugly too....and for the record, you's just retarded! LOL
@Chubby: you are SOOOOOOOOO RIGHT in that employers will be able to see and more importantly "feel" her depressed spirit and feel that "something just ain't right" about her. I soooooo hope that this is God's way of opening that window while he closes that door...

Luke Cage said...

Truly sad on multiple fronts. My cousin just lost another child through miscarriage, her second and she too has sunk into a state of despair. It's tough on her, and me too because we are close and I miss talking to her and she just doesn't really call anymore.

What's truly tragic in this affair is, if your friend had gone to counseling, maybe her job would have understood that she's going through a tough time and that her lapses of calling out, and other things detrimental to her job may have been waived. They wouldn't have held it against her. I don't know if the line of work has anything to do with her termination, but some places are lax about pulling the trigger and firing someone in the face of tragedy.

I went through a tail spin when my mother died over 15 years ago, calling out and whatnot from the job, not coming in on time, but I had a boss who looked out for me and fudged the numbers and I didn't face any disciplinary actions. But when she couldn't do that no more, she simply said, "I understand that you're going through something very difficult, but you've got to come back. I need you in the office."

And you're right. Sometimes all you need at the work place is that special someone to get you thru the day. Good luck to her though. Happy Holidays luv!

LadyLee said...

Sad to see your friend lose her job. Your boss is a mean ass. Look like your boss could have related to your friend's miscarriage tragedy, and shown some slack. Pisses me off! Anyhow, make sure you stay in touch with your friend and encourage her to get the help she needs. She can't take that same depression state onto a new job. That's for sure...

Have a happy Thanksgiving, Robyn...

Berry said...

She could have (probably) protected herself by taking an unpaid leave of absence but it seems that she was likely too depressed to even muster the energy to do that. I hope you will continue to extend yourself to her. She sounds like she needs a good friend to pull her through this rough time. :-)

nikki said...

it's a tough thing to lose a lifeline at the job. you'll be stronger for it, though.

Marcus Harris said...

I hate to hear it, Robyn. She needs someone there for her to help her get through this difficult transition. Miscarriages take very hard psychological tolls on the mothers, and - for whatever reason - people think they should be able to just bounce right back to normal. PPD is nothing to take lightly . . . seriously, I hope you stay a major part of her life and help her get her depression in check.

Brains Nbooty said...

sorry to hear about your friend. it might be good just to check up on her every now and then, if you can. keep tabs on her just to let her know you care, even though she ain't trying to hear it. she'll come out of her funk soon.

love your blog; thanks for visiting mine.

brooklyn babe said...

Like my ex once told me, whenever you get fired, its cause you stayed too long a gig... wish he would of told me that umpteen gig ago.
Your gurl will be all right
One Door closes.
Another opens.
Peace

P. Alonzo Harris Jr. said...

continue to be the rock that you have been for so long....