Truths

I am sorry that it has been sooooo long readership, since I have posted anything. It truly seems that at night when I can post (bugaboo, muthafucka-looking-at-your-computer-screen-free) I am so dang on tired.

Allllllso, I am still trying to hone my photography/Photoshop skills at night after I am done with all of my other motherly duties and there is simply NO time to do it at work lately (except for now) hee hee. But seriously, I have always wanted to be a photographer and thought that it would simply not pay the bills. But now, I am tryin’ to be the next Herb Ritts ya’ll !!!



I have always been the one with a camera in hand at ANY event just WAITING to snap a pic! I also knew that before the digital age, I did NOT have the funds needed to mess up a whole Rite-Aid full of Kodak film, PLUS the developing costs just to learn. So it has always been on the back burner. Now that I have been able to buy a beginner’s pro camera (Nikon D50), I am rarin’ and set to go. Oh, but wait….there’s additional lenses that need to be bought, there’s additional flash units, lighting, backdrops not to mention Photoshop photo editing software and website software (yeah I want it all)...….and the list goes ON! Now, though my husband is supportive, he is ALSO NOT feeling the expensiveness of said camera equip. because the money is going OUT but it hasn’t come IN as of yet. So, I tread gingerly about what I have bought since I got this camera in November. Now, one thing I do NOT believe in at this point (because I am trying to become a professional) is skimping on the equipment. It’s kinda the “you get what you pay for “ theory. Now, I know that I can’t have a dayum $4,500 Nikon D2X, but I do need quality equipment. So, I’ve been a lil busy ya’ll ! But since it’s really just me trying to be happy with ME, and I have finally fond what I like,



have dreamed about this since I was a young girl, and now I am making it a reality ya’ll !! I am finally at the point where I am coming to terms with “who I am” and getting a better sense of “what I wanna do”. I have always been a person who never quite knew what they wanted to do. I have always been confused, hell, when I graduated from college, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to be and it just so happened that I feel in to HR because I was doing it at this temp job that I had AFTER I graduated from college AND had a dang degree! So, this is a good feeling to be able to understand my OWN wants and desires and be able to have the wherewithal and support to make it happen! I’m not quite at the point where I am totally happy with self, but I am working on it…slowly but surely.

But onto the meat of today’s post! There are certain truths that I have come to accept about life, my life and people in general. Allow me to detail them to ya

1. Everyone is CRAZY to SOME extent. You just have to find the person who can deal with YOUR kind of craziness. That person? Who are those people? Answer: soulmate/best friend

2. A person will fuck you before they fuck themselves. Never forget that.

3. For the MOST part white people and black people think VERY differently…..probably because most whites and blacks have VERY different experiences ofttimes due to the color of their skin.

4. Though you may experience pain and hurt, time will heal most wounds

5. I have a natural propensity towards being lazy….if left to my own devices I would NOT work, and would do what I WANT TO DO all day (but that’s most people,eh?)

6. I will never be a size 6

7. Common sense ain’t too common. I encounter people often who do some DUMB-ASS SHIT and I think, “you couldn’t have POSSIBLY thought that was a good idea!!!!!” (but I guess they did, cause they did it!LOL)

8. If I do NOT make a career change that supports my creativity and freedom, I will NOT BE ABLE to retire until I am very old. I believe that if I am doing something I like that has the potential to be lucrative, I can make it work, because it will not BE work to me.

9. A whole lotta folks walk around with WHITE on like it’s O.K. to do before the traditional Memorial Day and we're in Michigan where it's possible that OUR asses could still see a snowflake or two at any given time before the end of MAY!(no, not winter white either)

10. Most men, even the progressive, savvy ones, want some aspects of a “traditional” wife/mother as their mate.

11. Stress is underrated……it will drive you crazy.

12. Children really do keep you young…..and on your toes!

13. My TRUE friends are for life

14. Working for a living is EXTEREMLY overrated. There are sooooooooo many other things to explore in this wide world and sadly, I will NEVER have the kinda time (more than likely) to do it!

Lata!
r.

Potty for all

Well, my little one has started to potty train himself. Yup, you heard me, potty train HIMSELF. I am amazed at him as I watch him grow and learn and SPEAK and put thoughts together and put sentences together. I am still in that “you are a real person” amazement phase that probably every mother goes through at some point or another. Sometimes I really hate that I can’t be at home with him, to teach him and to learn FROM him. He says “mommy, read book……” in his small a sweet voice as I am about to leave. His dad takes him to school on most mornings because he doesn’t have a micromanaging asshole clock-watching him , so he can be a little later going in to work. Sometimes, I don’t even get a chance to say good morning to my baby because I am gone before he wakes if it’s one of those days where he’s a little more tired. But on these days, when he really wants ME to stay (usually he’s a Daddy’s boy, much to my damn shagrin) it hurts me that I cannot be there and take the time to just sit down and do something as simple as read a book.





He now wants to feed himself, though he makes a mess, and it's so cute to see him try. And messes are o.k. after all, that's what being a kid is about. He can now pretty much feed himself out of this cereal bowl......all this and he's not even 2. Is that fast for his age **shrug** I dunno....I just know that I'm proud :-)






Women who are in the corporate work-world and are mommies deal with this all the time, but it’s different now. It’s different because it’s now ME. I now see and feel their pain. And I hate the fact that I have to leave him every single day and potentially miss out on his accomplishments. What if he has some big significant accomplishment with **gasp, gulp** with one of them “surrogate caregivers” (i.e. the daycare people) and not with ME or my husband! I hate the thought……. And thusfar, if anything major has happened in his development like 1st step or 1st word, the daycare folks haven’t said anything. But…..there is also a dichotomy within me……for I also know that within me, I am NOT a solely stay-at-home mother type. I would lose my everlovin mind being at home 24/7, no change of scenery, no change of venue, NO adult interaction and no break from my little one. Though I love my little one with every fiber of my being, since I LIVE where we’d be all the time and my shopping habit would be almost cut down to NOTHING since we’d be livin off one salary…….I might lose my mind with that option too.! I would ideally love to work 3 days a week and make at least 80% of what I make and have 4 days to spend with him. That would work…..wait hold on…





…….SLAP……


O.K., I’m back, I had to slap myself back into reality! That shit just ain’t probable…… it COULD happen if that PERFECT opportunity came and that PERFECT salary came with it, but REALITY is that that just isn’t MY reality. So, this is why it means so much to me when I ask the daycare folks “Have you been working with him in terms of potty training yet?” and they replied “No….. not as of yet, but he sees when we take all of the older kids to the bathroom etc……”. It makes me feel good that it is apparent that it is because of me and my husband that he is starting to train himself! He is a very smart little boy and seeing as though he’s a potty voyeur (i.e. you CAN’T go to the bathroom without him being present) he’s picked up on everything from sitting on the potty, to the fact that you need tissue, to washing your hands when you are done.

So, here we are, in the potty and since I introduced him to his potty seat last week, he’s been uberly fascinated with it. So, he OUT.OF.THE.BLUE says “Mommy, I go potty…”. I say “Do you have to GO potty or did you already go?” . He says “I got go potty”. Well, la-dee-da…..I am ALLLLLLLLLL to happy to oblige him, I take the potty seat, plop it on top of the regular seat (I personally think those things that kids piss and shit in that I HAVE TO CLEAN OUT are DISGUSTING for that VERY reason, so that ain’t goin down in Motown) and I take his diaper off and plop him on it.


Laaa la laaa laaa

“what…what’s that I hear?” This boy starts peeing after like 2 minutes! I was amazed! See below.....



Boy asked for his tissue and everything!! LMAO!! He is tooooo funny to me!

So, after that, we get off the potty and he asks to wash his hands (dayum my baby is smart!) and the one thing I have to say is that if this keeps up, he'll be trained by his 2nd birthday! And Mommy couldn't be MORE overjoyed at THAT possibility!!! Though these days are the sweetest days in terms of him still being my "baby", I am also excited to see him grow and learn and ask for things in sentences ("mommy I want apple" or "i don't like it" or "mommy washie hands for me" or my favorite "I carry you" which means he wants ME to carry HIM down the stairs). I know this time is fading fast, and he'llbecome more independent and I can see he ALREADYhas his daddy's love of people (the boy ain't scared to talk to NOBODY)and his agressive, competitive nature. Cause Momma is more relaxed than them two men in my house, so he OBVIOUSLY got it from the "daddy monkey" as he calls his father. And YES he really calls him that when he's with me or when he's with him.....and YEEEEEEEES I started him calling him that and it kinda stuck so now the baby calls him that! LOL TOO FUNNY! But, he's growing up and soon will be riding bikes, and playing T-ball and liking girls....



But for now he's my Elmo loving, sweet boy and that's just the way I like it!

be e-z......

Slap your irritating co-worker day!

Hey ya’ll this is an oldie but goodie. I meant to post about my baby and his potty adventures, but I'll wait until tommorrow for that :)

Anyway, here's an oldie but goodie for you guys to laugh at!



Tomorrow is the official “Slap Your Irritating Co-Worker “ Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t give a rat’s ass about? (yup….my dumb-ass boss is constantly telling me and others who gives a damn LESS about her aging momma, her dead dog, her new house, her buying a bedspread, her siblings all of whom have MULTIPLE things physically wrong with them, etc……O.K. CHECK!) Do you have a co-worker who ALLLLWAYS fucks something up , thereby creating MORE work for your ass ( my boss creates DUMB ass spreadsheets for everything…sometimes redundant mind you and then will wanna change something in it and FUCK UP formulas and SWEAR she gave it to YOU correct and that YOU fucked it up……O.K., CHECK!)??? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much ass; you can look in their mouth and see what their BOSS ate for lunch (I swear, if I had a dime for every time I saw my boss smiling her shit-eatin grin at the president ….i’d be a rich ass**smdh**…O.K. , CHECK!)? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it (I swear, if there is a social event, which are few and far between these days because of the saving initiative that’s been going on for the last 2 years, but when there IS a potluck or something, when THAT hoe starts talking and you aren’t OBLIGATED to stay people fake it like they need to go say hi to bobby jo in the corner over there……people get away from this bitch as quickly as possible…..for real ya’ll……..O.K. CHECK!?) Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very proud and extremely happy to announce tomorrow as

SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY !!!

There are some rules you must follow:
• you can only slap one person per hour
• you can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the asme day.
• You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-worker’s take turns slapping the irritant.
• No weapons allowed… other than going upside somebody’s head with a stapler, hole puncher or if you must (to get your point across) the paper slicer. Just hit em….don’t slice em.
• If questioned by a supervisor (or the police if the supervisor is the irritant), you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE !!!!

Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that could benefit from this intervention that you wanna slap the hog-shit out of and get to slappin’…… and have a great day!

Cover thine own asses!

This is save ya OWN Ass Friday!

In the ever continuing corporate bit-o bullshit saga… (dayum, I'm FOREVER having something to complain about when it comes to this job! * sigh *)

Check this out….. This morning, I got an e-mail from a manager at our company saying that he was ready to make a job offer to “this guy”. However, “this guy” had some issues that may prevent him from being hired. Boss-Bitch (I like that phrase) says “Robyn, you need to tell “Manager 1” (who “this guy” would be working for) that I DO NOT agree with this decision to hire him because of __issue#2___. He will need to document the fact that he’s been advised of this in the event that “this guy” messes up. He needs to know that I don not agree with his choice and that it is his choice to hire “this guy”.

Me: O.K. I’ll let him know.

Now he had sent me the message below after Boss-bitch told me to let “Manager 1” know the info. above. And I consequently responded to it, telling him what Boss-Bitch said. I cc’ed Boss Bitch on this e-mail so she could see that I did what she asked me to do. She come’s FLYING wit' her wig all twisted, over to me like 15 minutes later (I’m assuming as soon as she saw the e-mail) bothered by the fact that I told “Manager 1”

EXACTLY. WHAT. THAT. BITCH.SAID

Please see the communication below for details:


From: Manager 1 [ Manager1@stankassco.com
Sent: Friday, March 24, 2006 10:42 AM
To: Robyn __________
Subject: “This Guy” Offer


Robyn,
I've talked with “this guy”. I would ask that the offer be for a base
salary of $XX,XXX.00, plus his 10% at risk. He can start as early as
Monday, _________ - so it's just an issue of when we can get the offer to him.

My thanks, Manager 1.

-----Reply Message-----

Hi Manager 1,

Thanks for the quick return. Just to let you know that "Boss Bitch" advised me that she wants it to be said that she does not agree with choosing him due to his issue#2 with the _____. I did show her the e-mail's that he sent to you and that you forwarded to me regarding his __issue #2__and ___issue#1___. "Boss Bitch" indicated that there was not a problem with the ___issue#1___as this would not be a criteria used to disqualify someone, however, due to the fact that this individual has fiduciary responsibilities as a ___________, she is not in agreement with this choice based on the lack of financial responsibility evidenced by the ___issue#2____.

She further indicated that you will need to write a memo to file regarding your decision to hire this individual, stating that you are aware of the past problems he has had regarding his finances and that you are comfortable with hiring him.

Call me with any questions.

Thanks,
Robyn

So, this bitch is pissed and I’m like ‘WHAT?!!!’ Why in the FUCK are you pissed that I told him exactly what YOUR ass said. She goes “ well, It comes off like I am trying to be Queen Bee (yes, ya’ll…this white woman who has NO knowledge of black shit said it) and I just wanted you to tell him that there may be some issues……….” It was at THAT point that I tuned her out and mumbled an “oh, sorry….. I didn’t want Manager 1 to think that it was MY doing, since I do not have that power, THEREFORE, I DID want to make it clear that it came from you and I told him that you didn’t agree with it….. (thinking, what’s the damn problem BITCH?) If I do what you say, I fuck up,if I DON’T do what you say I am now doing things as you “DIRECTED ME” to do (and yes, she has NO problem coming at me with those exact words). So, I win when I lose and vice versa. It’s always a fuckin no win situation with this stank ass hoe.

I’m goin on Monster right now…..naw, for real this time ya’ll…… it’s always something with her funky micromanaging ass. But guess what…….? I COVERED MY OWN ASS on this one! Cause "Manager 1" woulda come at ME all funky if it hadn’t have been clear that this was not me trying to be Billy-Bad-Ass and make decisions not within my realm of authority (because Boss Bitch gives NO ONE authority, she must have it all), and I was gon’ make DAMN sho he knew it was HER wishes, not mine. Naw... BITCH! You ain't EVEN gon put this on me because you DO run around here and act like "Queen Bee".....it ain't no damn secret! People pretty much know she's a shitty individual 98.9 percent of the time, the other 1.1% she's trying to be a fake ass and ACT like she "really cares about your well being".

Whatever dude. If you got the balls bitch then OWN UP TO THEM MUGS!!!! You said what you wanted me to tell him, it's not MY job to infer or soften shit. Cause if I did, then you'd have ANUTHA problem that I didn't do "what I directed you to do". NOPE! Your own shittiness got'cha bitch! LOL

It's these small, shitty victories that count ya'll....small shitty victories :-) hee hee!

Moral of the story: Don’t tell me to do something hoe if you don’t want me to do it.

Have a good weekend ya’ll !!!!

Today’s bit’o corporate bullshit….

Hello kiddies! Well, I’m back for another exciting
rant on

“TODAY’S BIT’O CORPORATE BULLLLLLLLLLLLLSHIT”

Well, today’s bit’o bull comes from a co-worker of
mine and this is a good one. This woman (a black
woman) told me that this young, attractive white boy
who works for OUR company was recently told that he
was FORBIDDEN to go to lunch with a white girl
who works for the client that we service. WTF???? My first question is why? Did they have any ties professionally ? Did she report to him or vice versa? What caused this mandate?

Before my corporate police readers
come down on me, let me say this: This white boy is
married, is about 24, attractive, etc., and has NO
dealings with this white girl (who doesn’t even reside
on our floor in this building) professionally. They
have no juris diction over each other, do not report, do not take
orders from nor, AGAIN, do they have ANY professional ties to
each other. So what’s the problem, right?

Well, the big bad “Director of all things we must suck
ass because the CLIENT said so” dictated it. This would be the boy’s director (I say boy because he looks like he’s about 15!).

Apparently the “perception” was that there might have have been some
impropriety going on betwixt them and he is married
(she is unmarried) and that since the “perception”
(there’s that funky ass word again) was that “people”
were talking about them having LUNCH together so often, and
because the CLIENT said
so…..it must stop

*shaking my head thinking that
I’d probably be fired if that shit had been DEMANDED
of me*

You all have noooooooooooooooooooooo right or dominion
over WHO IN THE FUCK I EAT LUNCH WITH!!!! There is no
“business reason” other than some shitty
ass/half-baked ass “perception” that the two of them
“might be “ fuckin’. And there IS NO conflict of interest just because she works for the client, so that ain't it. And if so, AGAIN….is it the business of my company or hers???? NO ! That is THEIR issue and THEIR problem! I SWEAR white folks get so into what is “perceived” and what they think and in people’s business SO TOUGH, that it just drives me INSANE!

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT if they are fucking?!!!! Ain’t that HIS
business and HER business????!! I heard tell that the
girl was very upset when this mandate came down last
week. Now this boy (he really looks like he’s about
15…..for real) works in a sensitive area where MUCH
confidential info. COULD be disseminated if he so
chose. So, maybe that’s why they were all up in arms,
huh?

FUCK THAT! If you all can’t PROVE that I have leaked
company secrets, then get the fuck off my back! I get
an UNPAID 1 hour lunch and I should be able to eat
with WHOMEVER I see fit! FUCK THAT!


Personal Interjection:
Now, for those that don’t know me, this is a sensitive
subject with me because my bitch-ass boss at one point
stopped me & my girl from eating together but her real
reason (see: I’m jealous because you two are close
and have secrets that you DON’T tell me and I’m acting
like a 5-year old who you won’t play with….no for
real….. that was the ONLY reason….. because she wanted
to be “in” our little group and we refused to let the
bitch in….so she got spiteful) was thinly veiled
within the mighty “BUSINESS NECESITY” line. She had
told us (because we work in the SAME group, that she
“needed to have someone (other than the guy that does
labor because he knows NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hr/benefits
stuff…..I mean NONE) here who can help with benefits
in case I am pulled into a meeting,etc. so you two
need to stagger your lunches” Well, there wasn’t much
we could do to fight that shyt because this bitch is a
MASTER lie-weaver/hide-shit-in-a-corporate-business-reason
mufucka. And if we hadda made a stink about it (i.e.
go to the president because that’s the ONLY place we
can take shit because this hoe IS THE HR VP……he’d have
submitted to her in an “well-that-makes-sense-we-have-to-be-customer-service-oriented” bullshit way, because he’s REDICULOUS when it comes to “the client is always right” type shit…..his ass
shoulda worked for Burger King because when it comes
to the client NOTHING is questioned and they can
basically “have it your way” with us….. I hate that
shit too…which is why unless I was ready to get fired
I would NEVER take ANYTHING to the president……he’s too
unaware/don’t care when it comes to recognizing her
evil ways)


But the real is that this boy was promised a job BEFORE he even graduated college and he had not had ANY (did ya’ll hear me) ANNNNNNNY experience doing what the job required. They liked him though, and that was alls he wrote. He has since got 2 SIGNIFICANT raises in the 2 years that he has been here (outside of the normal “pay raise” time period, mind you….) because he was “learning so well and could be considered to be the same level now as the other two guys he works woth”.


What – the – fuck – ever……. Sell stupid somewhere else, I’m all stocked up. The truth is, that because he’s a white male, he has received truly unjustified (wait….does “because I want to give it to him qualify as justifiable???? Just asking) raises!! Like I said, I really feel that I do NOT need to be in HR because seeing all of this UNFAIR ASS SHIT makes me madder than HELL !!! Had I not seen all that I have seen (especially monetary-wise) I probably wouldn’t have the “life ain;t fair and white folks get over WAAAAY more than blacks thanks to the good ole boys & girls network” attitude. But I do….. Cause I know what I know and I’ve seen what I’ve seen.

But ole boy COULDN’T rock the boat and say shit in opposition to this mandate because he has GOT TA know that he is making az DAYUM good salary for the (lack of) years of experience he has and his new little wifey be done KILT (yes, I did say it) his ass if he comes home talking about I got fired because I stood up to the powers that be because I couldn’t have lunch with my trinket at work…… PUH LEASE ! He ain’t stupid……There is NO Way without a whooooooooooooole lot of looking and patience could he probably #1 find the type of job that he has (because his job is very different and weird) nor could he command this SAME salary elsewhere. He’s only got TWO freakin years into this field and ANYWHERE else would NOT want to pay his ass, so he PROMPTLY shut the fuck up and went on and dealt with that blow. They probably are fuckin or at least enjoy flirtin……nah…..they fuckin! LOL

Anyway, the end all and be all is that I’dda blown up that SPOT cause I work in HR, and there are enough HR jobs out there that they’da HAD to give me a justifiable JOB RELATED reason why I couldn’t have LUNCH with someone.

Eat or Die ya’ll…….
r.

Black. White.

O.K., I have been wanting to post about this new DUMB ASS show Black.White. that is on FX. Lawd, ya’ll…. I watched this show and wanted to jump through the screen at these folks.

This was my first time watching it, as I missed the opening show last week. Well, if you haven’t heard of it, this is a reality-t.v. show where one black family (mother, father and son) get make-up put on their entire body so that they appear white and a white family (mother, father, daughter) get made up to look black.

FIRST CRITICISM: If is almost IMPOSSIBLE to make a black person with strong features (see: big ass nose and big lips) look like anything other than a pasty albino looking mufucka and that is EXACTLY what the black woman made up to look white, looks like! She LOOKS like a black woman in white face!!! Take a look at her ass!!!



Come on, and the son and the father ain’t no better! You just cannot make black people with strong features look WHITE! They look like they crawled out of a damn can of pasty-ass Poppin Fresh Biscuits. PUH-LEASE.

Now, the white people look a wee bit more believable as a whole, but that Momma…..she looks a hot-fire-shit mess.




That afro on her ass is ridiculous but she could still pass for black. The father looks a bit suspect to me, but maybe that’s because I am black and if I were to see him I’d look at his ass like “something ain’t right about his ass……” but might now be able to put my finger on it. But that white GIRL. Baaay-bee……. She looks JUST LIKE A BLACK GIRL when they make her up! Do you hear me???? I was watching the show thinking, DAMN!! If I saw her ass in the street I would have noooooooooo idea that she was NOT black!!! Hell I ain’t the only one because she was enrolled in this all-black poetry class and not NARRY a one of them black girls OR boys knew she was white until she told them. I’ll discuss that later……But anyway, because blacks as a whole are mixed with SO many other races, it is NOT uncommon to find a black woman or man with keen features. So , as a whole the White-to-Black transformation was mush more believable.

But let’s get to the meat of my beef with this shit. Why did black momma take the white momma out to buy some “afrocentric” clothes and this white woman (dressed as a black at the time mind you) goes towards the “Dashiki’s” and decides that THAT is what she wants to get to wear to CHURCH (black church ya’ll) and the black momma was going along with her like “well…..yeah, that looks nice……yeah, it’s nice….” , but when they got home and the two families were together the black momma (to be referred to as B.M. her on out) started talking about the white momma’s choice of garb. O.K., first of all, bitch (B.M.) you KNOW ain’t but a DAYUM few black folks wearing Dashiki’s anymore. You shouldn’t haven’t even gone along with that shit if it wasn’t sincere. So, I agree with the White Momma (W.M.) in that she was a bit irritated because the B.M. let her buy it knowing it wasn’t the thing to wear. But here’s the question: Why (W.M.) is it your belief that all black people wear Dashiki’s??? Are you really that in the dark about black people?? Do you now see black people on t.v. (if no where else) in anything BUT a fuckin Dashiki?????

O.K., so they go to church and the White Daddy (W.D.) is just having him self a HELLUVA BALL at it. He’s clapping and smiling and swaying and going on……he’s standing there looking like the fucking cat that ate the canary! Then he comes out his mouth and says “ It’s like a show that they are putting on…..this is fun….” Or something of the like:


**crickets**

WHAT THE FUCK????A SHOW? I was so appalled at his obvious disrespect of the black church and the goings on of a black church! Muthafucka you think that getting the holy ghost is a SHOW?? He is taking NO steps to understand black people. This is just a free pass in my opinion to walk up to another black and go "whus up my NIGGA!" and not get the shit slapped outta him. He shall take NOTHING from this experience.....I can see it. You think that the hymns that are sang are a SHOW? You think that any of this done in the name of the Lord is a SHOW???? I wanted to jump through the gat-damn t.v. a slap the hog-shit outta him!!! He disgusts me! Instead of appreciating the DIFFERENCES of the church that you go to and this black church and trying to UNDERSTAND it, you degrade it and dismiss with as much irreverence as if you’da spit in somebody’s face! He doesn’t want to LEARN anything from being made up to be black! This is just his chance to run the fuck around in black face and “play”. This is like a free pass into a previously restricted world. See the difference is, we (blacks ) already LIVE IN your world (white world that is) and so the only thing that I can see will be gained by the black folks made to be white, will be that they might become privy to more racist talk or actions than they would if they were walking around as a black person. We ALREADY see what it’s like to be white because it is flaunted in our face. Better opportunities, better wages, less discrimination based on external factors (i.e. if a black with a criminal record and a white with a criminal record of the SAME offense went to apply for a job, WHO do ya think would get the job?????yeah….that’s what I said….). And I think that the black family sees that they ain’t gon get much outta this experience too. The one person who I think will learn the most is the White Girl who is made up to be black (W.G.) She was so bothered that she was in “black face” and that the other people in her group didn’t know her “real deal”.

O.K., but why at the beginning of the the show, the W.M. called her self joking around and said “Hey ……BITCH” to the B.M.????????????????????????????

WHAT.
DA.
FUCK !!

See…that’s why I am NOT on that damn show. I’d snatched her ass outta her clothes so hard and fast and beat her like she stole something that it wouldn’t; EVEN be funny! The W.M. called herself “being socially acceptable”. THIS BITCH REEEEEEEALLY thought that with black women calling each other a bitch was a socially acceptable thing! Oh my God * SMDH * Are you kidding me?? But I guess the proliferation of blacks that call each other bitches and nigga’s in hip-hop and in movies have given white folk just the pass that they need in a situation like THIS to say some shit like that * SMMH* (shaking my mufuckin head).

OOOH……. I could go on but I’m tired of thinking about this stupid show (which I will continue to watch just because it’s addictive if for no other reason than to see what happens) But for those that did see it, what’d you think????

MEME Tuesday

Before I get to today's MEME...... thanks Zeddy! I wanted to tell you guys that I have begun to write my son letters. I meant to begin them long ago and now I have looked up and almost 2 years have flown by since he was born. I think I'm gonna try to write one a week or whenever I'm inspired. I really want him to be able to look back on these when he is grown (hopefully before)and appreciate them. I also feel that it will help him to know what his Mommy was like "back then" because I am sure 20 years from now I'll be different than I am now. I will share with him my feelings, my thoughts and my fears....or whatever else comes to mind. Though he probably WON'T appreciate these peeks into my world which when he initially reads them if he's young when he initially reads them, since it will be a time capsule, I am still writing them. I sooo wish I had something penned by my Mom (though she's still alive) or my grandparents written AT THE TIME that they were my age, when I was small, that detailed daily trials and tribulations or just what they ate for lunch and who they talked to.

I want him and his family to one day look back on these when I am long and gone and UNDERSTAND their Mom, grandma and great grandma so that I can live on and leave a small legacy for my family. I think this will be cool.....

Anyway..on to today's MEME.....



Accent – a cross between big city chic and suburban articulate ghetto (not really, but it sounded creative,no?)
Bra size – before or AFTER the breast reduction (shut up Zed ……)
Chore I hate – cleaning……bathrooms and kitchens (interesting that they are my favorite rooms of the house, yet I HAAAATE cleaning those mugs!!!!
Dad's name –(shocker here)….Robert
Essential make-up – eye brown pencil and concealer
Favorite perfume – got a couple actually….Bi (D&G), Bvlgari Blue (Bvlgari)
Gold or Silver? – a combo….white gold or silver
Hometown - Detroit, Michigan
Insomnia – not most times…only when I’m EXTREMELY pissed off
Job Title – Corporate Bullshit Problem Solver (aka. HR Manager)
Kids – yes, my beautiful 21 month old Dylan
Living Arrangement – lots of stuff and my family
Mom's Birthplace - Alabama
Number of Sexual Partners – I’ll never teeeell.
Overnight Hospital Stays – 3 (breast reduction surgery, when I contracted Mononucleosis, and when I had my son
Phobia(s) – Heights, death, bees
Quote – The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference -???
Religion – yes, I have it.
Siblings - 1 brother, 1 sister (I am the baby)
Two I'm tagging – hmm……I’ll pick….Chubby & Freaky Deaky
Unnatural hair colors I've worn – Uh….not many, reddish brown and brownish blondish-somethingish……..but uh, I’ve worn some unnatural hair….. LOL.
Vegetable I refuse to eat – Brussel Sprouts, beets
Worst habit - Cussing Nah…FUCK that…… yeah it’s cussing…. With Road Rage a close second
X-rays I've had – Foot, chest, teeth.
Yummy foods I make – hmm…. That would be much easier to answer if I liked to cook….LOL
Zodiac sign – Virgo baby!

Hey ya'll !

Hey ya’ll !! I know that I have been away for a couple weeks, but the lazy/can’t figure out what to post/too tired to post bug had gotten my ass! But I am back!

So, for all ya’ll that havec been wondering…….here’s a kinda-sorta update on the Wobbles si-chi-a-shun………

Something. There is just something that irks me about Wobbles. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’ve boiled it down to the fact that we just don’t have ANY, ZIP, ZERO chemistry. She reminds me of one of those girls who are stuck in the 80’s with the slightly boofy-poofy dirty blond (though hers is natural) hair. She’s simple in demeanor and not savvy in any sense of the word. She is a reallllly nice person, but boring. I can just tell!!! She wears clothing that looks like someone in Montana who works as a ranchhand would be wearing. She does NOTHING to her mid-back length hair. It is ALWAYS all over the place and she just flat out need some new glasses to detract from that She seems like she just floats through life singing “la lee la laa laa” (probably because 1. she’s a new employee and 2. just because she seems to be naïve and “dumb” to office politics and slow to pick up on attitudes, and personalities…..just plain non-observant I guess is a good way to describe it) . But I really think that it stems from her close knit (admittedly strict and sheltered) Mexican parents. She has said that she has a zillion cousins, and that she primarily stayed on her side of town and played with them. I mean, she didn’t even really know how to get to the building we work in! helloooooooooooooooooooo!!!! The building we work in is THEE most recognizable building in Detroit, and the tallest downtown! Come on dawg! It always amazes me when people are so sheltered that they have NO knowledge of VERY common landmarks in a city that they’ve lived in ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL their lives. Anywho, though she’s nice, I just don’t feel a chemistry with her. (which I KNOW my boss is happy about) But I can’t deal with people who are kinda “socially slow”. Now that may sound bad, but if you are one of those people who doesn’t get jokes, has been sheltered and can’t hang with a quick witted person…..chances are, me and you will not be tight. Call it wrong, but that’s just me.

Anyway, on to the post that I have been promising “T” and “Roni”. Roni, you know who you are!! HA HA!!!!

Anyway, Roni invited me to an event that is held every month at a different one of her girlfriends homes every month. Well, this month was at LiLi’s house. LiLi has a bea-u-timous home and since it was Roni’s birthday, I had to oblige, plus I don’t get a chance to get out the dang house without the little one that often and just hang with the girls, so I jumped at the chance! Well, lemme start off by saying LiLi, YO ASS KNOW YOU LIVE FAR AS hell lives from the north pole, right?????

Nevertheless, once I got there it was all good. Everyone brought food (well… I brought somoe dinner rolls, which my ass PROMTPLY forgot about and left in the car in my haste to have a ball!) and the food was delicious! There was pasta salad, wings(honey barbeque and regular), fruit, some type of chicken bake, and cake and of COURSE there were some DRANKS !!!

Now, Roni had said to me “ Pleeze come hang out if you don’t mind hanging around a bunch of 26 year olds”

***SLAP***

Can I just tell ya’ll that though that statement was so innocuous coming out of Roni’s mouth, it hit me like Bobby And Whitney hit the pipe! GATDAMN, I AM NEARLY TEN years older than ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THESE folks!

(thinking to self ) “ oooh lawd…..lemme sit down that thought made me weezy……naw freak that, I am as young and vibrant as I was when I WAS 26, probably even more so!!! Hhmmph!” So once I got to the gig it was all about the fun ya’ll, and can I just tell you that this group of ladies is HIL-FUCKING-LARIOUS!!!

Some of the stories that were told that night just cracked me the HELL up! I shall definitely be hanging with them again! They are awesome.

I have decided that I am not going to tell the “greatest story ever told” which is a story from “T”s father….I just simplyty can’t do it justice! The story is about how Jewish people indoctrinate their newborns into the evil of the world….. trust me….it’s hilarious!

So….. I am going to make her a blog so she can tell this story!

Interesting but meaningless tidbits:

Why is it that the muthafucka that I work with who is a representative of the HR dept. sooooooooooooooooo intolerant of gay people. I have heard him on SEVERAL occasions making snide –assed comments regarding gays. I am absolutely appauled by him. He was over in his cube (which is DIRECTLY next to mine) making a shitty comment about the movie “Brokeback Mountain”. As he’s talking to someone in the office, he goes “Yeah….good ole Brokeback Mountain……now THERE’s a real American movie! Yeah, THAT shoulda really won some awards” . Now you may say that that is not that bad, but he has said other things such as “I can’t stand the whole gay movement…..it’s disgusting……. “. I know that if I were to say something to him, he and I would be in a HEATED argument over this and I swear it would make me really wanna slap the holy-horse-shit outta his ass. So, I just let him go on his IGNORANT ass diatribe and basically plug my ears.

Can I tell ya’ll just how much I need a vacation??? I wake up EVERYDAY with a lackluster feeling about going to work. Maybe I just need to have a “summer vacation” break like when I was a child. I really need a vacation or a get-away. Though it’s hard for me to figure out how I can do this AND make some money! And can ANYONE tell me why the asshole (the one I spoke of directly above) paces the fucking floor alllllllllll day! He walks past my desk to get to the rest of the office and EVERYTIME he passes he looks at my computer. So, alllllllllllll day long I have to keep switching my screen to a “word documnent” or my fuckin’ e-mail cause HIS dry-crusty-ass is alllllllllllways looking to see what he can see! I can’t STAND his stankin white ass! I bet if I were white, his ass wouldn’t be all over my computer! That’s why I swear, I have my computer’s “font size” on the “very small” size! But the thing is, even though it’s small, you can still tell I’m “surfing” if you even glance at my screen cause no work I do is as colorful as blog pages! LOL *serious look** fuck him.

Well, I am writing this between working, so I had betta go and get back to doing the dang thang!

So in the meantime, ya’ll be good

She's our queeeeeen toooo-ooh beeeee!

O.K., well maybe not our queen, but she DAMN sho is here.

Our new worker bee that is. I miss my girl. Yeah, my gril that got fired. But life goes on and so do I.

Well, I am sure that you are wondering how Wobbles is doing and how I am doing in terms of having someone new at the job. Well….Wobbles is doing well though she seems to catch on a wee bit slowly. But that’s not a bad thing altogether because there is something to be said for slow deliberate steps….it’ll just take you twice as long to get there though. I do wish that she picked up on things just a little faster though.

Oh!!! And as far as the pregnancy goes……..ya’ll…..ya’ll….. YA’LL will never guess how far along this bitch is….she “looks” to be at LEAST 4-5 months! And I SWEAR she did a BANG UP job of hiding that shit before! She must’ve been sucking in that gut AND baby and wearing shit that doesn’t show pregnancy! Cause I looked at that how and her stomach is as round as it wants to be!! She knew she was pregnant!!! Though she said that she didn’t because she was having periods…..mmmm hmmmm…..whateva…… I ain’t believing it! LOL

But why ya’ll did Wobbles come up in HERE today with a skirt set on, NO PANTYHOSE (o.k., we’re in Michigan in the DEAD of winter.)

**crickets**

Why in the FUCK don’t you have no dayum pantyhose on????? And then to top it off, she is very light/pale to begin with so PLEASE imagine what dem legs look like in the dead of winter with NO pantyhose on!!! Yeah….. exactly…. Dats’s my thought tooo….

PASTRY (as in flour) WHITE! And the legs had the NERVE to be ASHY all around the ankles and shit!!!! Good lawd, Calgon take me away…. I have often though about starting a school where I can do interventions on folks like this that don’t have the common sense of fashion sense, for that matter, that God gave a goat!!!!!

But all in all she’s cool. But ya’ll know what my HARDEST task is???? Hiding the sheer and UTTER DISGUST I have for my boss! I want to take the opportunity to dog her out soooooooooooooooooooo bad, but I can’t. You know how you can’t trust “new folks” and often times old folks too? Well…..I don’t trust her and besides I feel that it will hit home much sooner and swifter if she experiences the bitch-slap herself. Which brings me to my next point. I had thought about this and I am convinced since Boss-hoe will inevitable show her shit stained tracks in the snow…...all I have to do is sit back and wait….. I needn’t say a word….. I also came to the conclusion that it’s really for the best that Sista Girl didn’t get the job. I mean, she’s a new mother …..why would I want ANYONE to go through what I went through when I was a new mother. And I feel sorry for Wobbles because I hope that our shitty boss isn’t mean to her since she’s pregnant. But I swear people.....I soooo wanna blast the Boss-hoe to the new chick, but time will reveal . I can’t stand my boss sooooooooooooooo bad! To the point where I don’t even want her within 10 feet of me! And you know how you just can’t STAND people to breathe up on you at ALL when you can’t stand them??? Well, that’s the way I feel about Boss-hoe….. her essence makes my ass itch……

Cortaid take me away…….
Lata.

New person Pt. Deux (finale)

Welcome to the jungle!!!



I don’t like Guns N Roses, but this was about as fitting a statement as I could think of that I’d like to make to this new girl that started today. Let’s call her Wobbles (because she has a wobbly-eye that fucks with me when I look at her…..not being mean, it just is what it is and it’s distracting …..and they named her….”wobbly”)

Anywho…..

Well, as the epilogue to my story about the injustices regarding how the admin. for my group at work was hired, I am going to wrap up the Chica girl story up.

The long and the short of it was she was hired. If you didn’t read the first 2 parts read this regarding our department hiring a new person here….

But first I am going to post a part of my comments section which came from an Anonymous person in regards to the first post, referenced above, that I did a few days ago on the hiring the new person. People just need to read my response to her so that they can get the gist of why I can’t STAND my stankin-ass boss and the bullshit that I deal with. And this is a snippet. Apparently this person has not had to deal with the shit that I have……..

Anonymous said…..

I just stumbled into your blog spot by chance.

Whew!! What a story!

I was there before and I hated it - the politics in the office environment, that is. It is a power game! Unfortunately, you have HER as a boss!

Meaning no disrespect to any party but just a thought: let's take a step back and look at the same scenario with YOU in your boss's position and HER in your shoes. Do you think she will write a similar story in HER blog with the same steam?

And I am curious if your "stankin-ass-boss"(is that how you say it?) knows about your blog spot? You are not only showing your cards, she will be reading your mind if she does!

Just went to a job interview myself yesterday afternoon and that's why I am drawn into your blog. Tell your boss I am multilingual in English, Chinese (a few dialects) and French and I think I can do the job without having to become a friend to any of you. And, your department JUST MIGHT deal with China or France in the slightest possible chance!

Just joking! Hope I did not offend anybody!

Admin Assistant, SF

Robyn said…..
Hey Anon! hmmm...food for thought indeed..... well.... I don't believe that she knows about this because for 1, she barely knows how to turn ON her computer or make a cell phone call. So....she's pretty dumb when it comes to things like that. Nor would she have the opportunity to try to check my "history" or "cookies" on my computer.....I'm taking it waaaaay far now, but.... really. If I asked her what a "cookie" was she'd say an Oreo. So, the ONLY way she would know is if someone told her who saw it and if THAT is the case, I really do not care (i do, but I don't) because I feel that this WHOOOLE process is wrong. And the truth is if she reads all the OTHER shit I've said about her on here, my career is limited with this co. anyway and maybe it's for the best!! Because this is the ONLY place that I can be "real" since I can't go off on her like I would LOOOOOVE to. LOL

But as far as me being in my bosses position, there could NEVER be a blog written with the same details if I were in the bosses position. Number 1, my boss hated and I do mean HATED the relationship that me & the other girl had because she (my boss) has no friends. NO one in the office likes her. People tolerate her. Her boss, the president of the division, is a hands-off kinda guy, meaning he let's this bitch run scott-free and as long as there's no big brew-ha-ha's, he neeever gets word of her shananagins because she is fake as artificial snow around him. She cow-tows and makes shit seem like she's the nicest person when he's around. But the deal is, she knows her HR. Period. I know he's heard SOMETHING about that hoe, but she knows her shit which means he apparently excuses her from being a good HR rep. Which also means that she can weave a lie into the truth and if no one challenges her, she hides behind everything being based on "business decisions", so that she gets what she wants. This is no dumb woman we're speaking of here. But she constantly, makes bullshit dscisions within our HR group and somehow weaves and contorts everything so that in the end it "looks like" it was based on a "business need" and based on "management discretion".

So fake!

But it's really bullshit. When my girl (that got fired) was pregnant, she PURPOSELY made it harder on her because she has no kids, has had 5 or 6 miscarriages and she is a miserable person. MY friend was violently sick during the 1st few months and could NOT get out of bed and come in until 10:00am (we start at 8:00). You would think that she would have some sympathy right, i mean, this was a REAL justifiable reason to be late. Noooooo she just made it HARDER on my girl, not allowing her to make up time (which she used to do) and making it just pure hell on her and making it so that she DIDN'T get paid for any of that time that she didn't make up. That's NOT the way it used to be. She was jealous, plainly put. So, though she could have gotten away with giving her MORE leeway, she saw fit to TAKE AWAY more leeway because she is a jealous BITCH who can't handle #1 anything she isn't in control over and #2 Anyone having a life. Do you know that she saw fit to tell me (even though she KNOWS I have NO FAMILY SUPPORT, no grandmother's, grandfather's etc. to help with my son) that because last winter he was sick often, that I "needed to" make my husband more accountable and that he should be taking care of the baby sometimes and that I "had to" get a backup plan. (first who the FUCK are you to tell ME how to relate to MY husband you presumptious, RUDE bitch. That's out of line,plain and simple. And O.K., bitch I don't HAVE a backup plan,and you KNOW I don't have anyone else to stay with him so cut ms some slack). I am a manager, I can work at home. Oh, but she veto'ed that too, because she said that "you can't POSSIBLY do any work at home with a sick child at home....so no, you can't get paid for working at home". How do you know? I could do it when the baby is sleep. Or I could do it later in the evening. Who are you to define how I am able to get my work done?????? As long as it's done right??? But noooooooo. Not her. Every other manager (of which some are women) and some admins are able to work from home and get more "flex" than me.

This is just ONE example of which there are TOOO MANY to name in which she makes shit MORE difficult when it is expressly in HER realm of possibilities to make it EASIER! This because I work for her. Does that make it a bit more clear as to why I say that I would NEVER be that kinda of person??? She'd have nothing to write about me that had that kinda "steam" as you put it because I KNOW that people have lives, and that this job is not THAT hard to the point where exceptions can't be made. It just ain't. This job is a pretty chill type of job work-wise at least. Hence, me staying this long. The work is not overpowering or stressful. So, I've stayed with this bullshit this long.....but I am sure that the end will be coming soon..... cause one tires of the bullshit....

She is a person who derives respect from a title (almost like with yous mother using that "because I said so" reasoning), not because of mutual respect. If you are below her and work FOR her especially, you gets NO respect. And the sad thing is that almost NO one in the company knows how deep her bullshit reaches. They don't know how DEEP and intrinsically bitch-da-fied she is.

And you didn't offend me ANYway, but I know that the bullshit dealt with at THIS job is unreal sometimes. Simply unreal. I could go on and on....

And anyone that knows me knows I have mannnnnny more tales like this. Hence my feeling like, if her ass IS reading my damn blog DON'T SAY A MUTHAFUCKING THING TO ME! Act like ya ass didn't even see it!! It is what I CHOOSE to do after work. And if you DO see this, I can begin the search for a new job (Cause me & you will be beefin IMMEDIATELY!!!)

Carrying on……

Check this out, O.K., so this bitch (my boss ) decides that she is going to hire Wobbles a.k.a. Chica Girl and that she now wants to detail the shit that she feels Wobbles has that trumps Sitsa Girl’s qualifications. Lemme give you a fast replay of the conversation:

Boss-hoe: After reviewing the qualifications…..I really just feel that Wobbles has more experience in an actual “HR Admin.” job than Chica girl does.
Me: O.K., but if you look at the “tasks” that Wobbles did IN that job, they were very small tasks that anyone could learn. (translation: they were a bunch of admin. bullshit that ANY gatdamn admin could do!) And didn't you say two days ago that “it’s really more about the fit than anything….. I could see that you,me and Sista had abetter chemistry together, than me,you and Chica did…….”

Boss-hoe: Yeah, but she does have more “specific” HR experience

Me: yes, she does…… But it’s not like the other young lady didn’t have any…...she has done payroll and is currently doing the benefits administration at her job

Boss-hoe: Yeah, but she’s only handling them for 55 people, we have 250 people…..

Me: O……K……. but if she’s done it, I’m sure that she can easily acclimate to the increased number of employees……

Boss-hoe: Well….maybe, but I really think that Sista Girl just wants to be in “any” administrative environment…….she doesn’t seem COMMITTED to HR, whereas Wobbles is interested in moving up IN HR.

Me: Well, honestly that is one thing that concerns ME because she eventually would want MY job!

Boss-hoe: Yeah…..well……I don’t see that happening
***I’m thinking….yeah O.K. bitch, that’s probably EXACTLY what you’d love…for that hoe to get my damn job!
But it also concerns me that Sista Girl has a young child…..

Me: ***SCATHINGLY ANGRY, but holding it in and composing myself, while still showing a bit of irritation**** What does THAT have to do with anything??????????????????????????!

Boss-Hoe-Ass: Well, you remember when your Dylan was that small, you had to be out frequently due to his colds and things, and it just concerns me that her baby is so small because I really need this person to be here…..

Me: ******PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED the FUCK OFF***** O.K., but it’s NOT like she’s a single mother, she's MARRIED, so I am suuuuuuuuuuure that she will be here because she has help at home! And BESIDES that the daycare that the baby goes to is on THIS side of TOWN (which is something Sista told us in the interview)!!!!! So, I am sure that THAT would not be a factor and besides you can’t PREDICT that her baby willeven GET sick as much as MY baby did!(I’m really raising my voice a decibel at this point)

****Interjection****

If that was not the most DISCRIMINA-FUCKING-TORY thing that I’ve heard in a minute, then I don’t know what is!!! How DARE you even take into CONSIDERATION that she has a young baby!!!!! YOU FUNKY SHITTY BITCH!!!!! Ooooooooooooooh! My blood was on FIRE ! Ya’ll don’t know HOW bad I wanna call that girl and say “You know one of the MAIN reasons she DIDN’T hire you is because you hava a small baby and you may need to be off if the baby get’s sick…..please go file a discrimination charge on her….

Where’d I leave off…. Oh O.K….

Boss-hoe: Well, Chica still is bi-lingual ( Oh, O.K…. that’s your little fucking trump-card…..the fact that she’s bilingual… whatever).

Me: And on our “personality test” Chica scored a paltry 33/100 whereas Sista scored 96/100.

Boss-hoe: yeah….but Chica is a good fit because of the bilinguality.

Me: *thinking** whatever…..we don’t HARDLY EVER deal with folks from Mexico and when we do, they speak English


I can’t even remember what else was said…..but that’s the bullshit for the most part.

But…… God don’t like ugly cause Wobbles started today and guess what? Nawww…come on guess….


SHE’S PREGNANT!!!!!!!

It's early on in the pregnancy too.... THAT hoe knew YESTERDAY when she ACCEPTED the position that she was pregnant!! ROFLMBAO!!!!!

Gotcha biatches!!!

Do ya’ll KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW HAPPY I am right now!!!! Well, AIN’T THAT some Poetic justice fo dat ASS!!!!! I feel soooooooooooooo much better!! Because not ONLY will Wobbles have a NEW baby, but she has TWO others!! A 13 year old and a 5 year old !!!!So, you tell me what’s the chances of her being out due to her damn kids??????!! And I BELIEVE that she’s a single Mom…… (nothing against single moms…..hell, mine was one), but that just potentially RUINS her theory that Sista girl woulda been more hassle in terms of call-offs

As they used to say on that old T.V. show the A-Team “I love it when plan comes together”….. and this wasn’t even planned! I couldn’t have scripted some justice type shit better than that!!!!!

Carry on………
*singing* I’m walkin on sunshine….yeeeeeah…..I’m walking on shunshine…yeaaaah, and I’m starting to feel GOOD!!! Alright now!!!!! LMBAO

Congratulations Tori & Rodney!!!!

I am dedicating this post to my friends Rodney and Tori who had a baby girl last night:


Welcome!!!

Giselle Olivia Cole !!!!!
2/12/06
11:49p.m.
20.5 inches
8 lbs. 12 oz!!!


Rodney is my boy from college that I've know for oh, 16 years or so, and when me & my husband moved into our house a year and a half ago, I discovered that Rodney lived across the street. No, like one house across and one house over...so FOR REAL across the street. He & my husband have bonded and so have me & Tori, so he and my huaband have given themselves the title "Captione" (pronounced: Cap-tee-own) LOL Good times are often had by all!! So, since they are like our "extended family" we have been greatly expecting this baby!

She was a week overdue and she was told the same things that I had been told that were supposed to be wivestales (which people said are true) which help induce labor. One was walking and the other was sex.


**crickets**

I would LOVE to hear from ANY 9 1/2 month pregnant(because you know it's actually 9 1/2 months, NOT 9 months) woman who wanted to FUCK when they were BIG.AS.A.HOUSE(??????), cause whoever it may be, let me say in advance YOU'S A GOOD ONE, CUZ I AIN'T THE ONE!!! Because I don't give a shit HOW "well" it worked, wasn't no dicks, fingers, toys or ANYTHING else that didn't NEED to be near my ass (literally)getting near my ass! Now I know htat men just see this as a "last stop, last chance" before that 6-8 weeks after she has the baby when they can't get any ass. My theory: suck it up. I've carried this baby and dealt with the physical changes.... you'll be aw'iight without ass for a lil while! LOL (nope I have NO sympathy for men in terms of this process)

As a matter of facta, the only "insertion" I wanted at that point was some thing to help PULL HIS LIL ASS OUT!!!

Good LAWD!! And then what kills me is that when men get wind of this particular suggestion" they inevitable apparoach the wife like " heh, heh, heh *wink,wink*......uh..... they say that sex helps you bring that baby down......so..... I'm just trying to help YOU out right now..."


**crickets** whatever nigga...... try again!!! Yo ain't gettin no PAAAAARTS of da pussy! Men just don't think...... cause I was so dayum evil when I was 9 1/2 months pregnant that you better not had even LOOKED at me the wrong way or I'da been like "WHAT?? What's that dumb-ass-look for?????" *scowl*

LMAO!!!

WHew !! Yeah I was evil as a rattlesnake and dammit I feel I deserved to be. That's right.... I.DESERVED.TO.BE.A.BITCH.....period. My hormones are playing the bongo's off of each other and my body is hurting at that point, not to mention that I had a constant (sometimes bad) sciatica pain in my leg that sometimes would throb while I was laying down or at best would feel like someone had cut that ligament between my ass and my knee in half, so that when I was trying to do a simple movement like reaching under the cabinet it would say "uh, no girl..... think again..... you can't HANDLE this right now....get'cha husband before you get a charley-horse". And I had a GOOD pregnancy!!! So again, I "had a right to be violent" ( hee hee).

So,I commend women that have gone through this beautiful experience and honor

Annnnnyway, below are some pregnancy pictures that I took of Rodney and Tori. They'd waited to find out what they were having and the suspense nearly KILLED ME!!!! LOL This is her first and his 3rd, and Mom and baby are resting fine.
















I am so very happy for them and "Auntie Robyn" can't WAIT to spoil her!!!

Valentines, Smalentines......

Valentine’s Day…..

Well, the day is fast approaching, much to my dismay…….

Editor’s note:
I usually don’t share too much of my private life with the blog because well…. I just don’t, but today, I will share a little of the real…… and after all, it is my “real life” and so you guys should know that part of me too. And this is a LONNNNNNNNNNG POST….so bear with me…….here goes……

Why do I say “to my dismay” when it comes to this wondrous day? Because though I am one of the most romantic people out there and am very demonstrative in my affections, my husband is not. Now, he would scoff at that statement and probably be a bit upset if he reads this, but it’s true. Now, I know that it is the “thought” that counts, but I always seem to feel disappointed by these types of days. Let’s look back at why.

On our first Valentine’s Day together, we were just on the verge of proclaiming that we were “officially” together. He had an ex-wife whom he had led on and led on and led on to believe that he was going to get back with who BOUGHT herself a plane ticket to come HERE ON VALENTINE’S DAY !! WTF????

Now, though I was fucking him, as with MOST men, if you exhibit any KINDS of “pushy/nagging/bitchy-assed” tendencies during the period of meeting til ya’ll are really together that shit can land you a place in his mind of “I thought she was cool and that I could be with her until……”. Not that I was trying to deceive, it’s just the truth. Women will up with A LOT more “real people shit” as I like to call stuff than men will in the beginning stages. I’m speaking of “stuff” that you might think is there, but don’t wanna see in the person you are dating. So, though I voiced my opinion, hurt and dismay over this I couldn’t give him the blasting I really wanted to ( per him, this meeting in HIS mind was to once and for ALL let her come here so that he could really tell her face to face that it was over, because she was a nut-case with a plethora of issues who probably couldn’t have been told over the phone, without her being institutionalized…naw….for real. Even though in THIS bitches mind, this trip was to get him back from this “robyn” bitch). Anyway, though it sounded like some shade it turned out to be true. But needless to say I spent this V-day alone, nursing my heart reading the “I really really like you” card that he had given me.

Second Valentines Day: We got into some BIG-ASS argument (I can’t truly remember over what exact but it was something regarding my S.O. finding out that I had been still communicating with my ex). So THAT V-day was a disaster as well.

Third V-day which was last year was non-eventful and we just exchanged cards. Soooooo boring. I was actually just glad that we didn’t blow up the spot on that day cause our track record had been horrible……… So, needless to say, I do not look forward to V-day at all.

There is some much needed background here though. Let me tell you a lil about who I am. I am very demonstrative and LOOOOOVE really thinking about and considering and trying to surprise you with something that I know you’ll reeeeeally realllly like or get you something you really like. I will plot, plan and go shopping 5 times just to make sure that your gift is over the top and the bomb, bring it home wrap it in some cool-ass wrapping paper (cause I like to wrap) and present usually not ONE gift but several to you. That’s just how I am. Conversely, I would love it if my man were like that, but he’s not.

Weeeeell, O.K., here’s the real deal. My husband has a complex about getting me shit because of a situation that went down a couple years ago. Like to hear it, here it go*sigh* Confession time…….way back when when we were discussing rings and things and marriage, I’d told my then S.O. that I really liked a certain “setting” and a certain “diamond shape” (i.e. round, princess, emerald, etc.), well…..when I got the ring it wasn’t like the one I wanted and I tried in the NICEST way to let him know that. By I mean, I pondered and contemplated and consternated (yeah I just made that derivative up)on how to say it and how he’d take it and how to be as nice as possible, and I guess it STILL came out FUCKING.WRONG. Because he went

ABSOLUTELY. BALLISTIC

This could only end in tears…his and mine……..

Then to top it off, the things that he’d gotten me in addition to the ring (it was Christmas) I ended up taking 3 of the 4 things back: 2 things due to them flat out NOT fitting (i.e too small) and the other thing (it was a printer with photo printing capabilities) because I am EXTEREMELY “gadget oriented” , and extremely into photography, I wanted the one with the little screen on it because it enables you to not have to hook your camera up to the printer and then go through the computer to print pictures. The one he had purchased didn’t have the little screen and he took my action of wanting to take it back as being ungrateful, selfish and resented it (probably still does to this day). But you see, my husband’s theory on electronics is much like the typical woman’s (i.e. what-the-FUCK-ever…). However in OUR relationship, I AM the one who will go absolutely BANANA’S over a new gadget/electronics!!!!

Additionally, I have alllllllllllllllllways been the “photographer” of our group of friends and truly enjoy it and I LOVE my camera(s)….yes, camera’s plural and recently just bought an $800 digital Nikon D50 so that I can try to hone my love of photography into a real job because I love it sooooo much. Yup, I’m gonna take classes and everything! You’d think knowing my love of this woulda changed his opinion on me wanting to take that printer back though right?? NOPE!!! He still saw it as “what’s the damn difference…..a little screen????? Is THAT enough to spend almost TWICE as much ( $180 as opposed to $99) on a printer….I just don’t see it….you just want it cuz it costs more!”. Well, THAT stank-assed comment started WWIII.


Me: What the FUCK are you saying…..that I’m just superficial and just like shit cuz it “costs” more???? That’s a FUCKED up thing to say!
Him: Yup! That’s what I’m saying…cause there’s only a tiny little screen and it COSTS almost twice as much and THAT is just not worth it !!
Me: But are you looking at the fact that the screen is NOT just a useless added on feature, it REALLY is an important feature to someone like me who prints pictures and uses it and who MIGHT not wanna turn on the computer, load the software et. al JUST to print one fucking picture????



O.K., well….needless to say….. we NEEEEEVER agreed on this one…..I’m sure as a matter of fact that if I were to ask him TODAY , he’s say that he doesn’t see why it’s was a big damn deal…..
So, though he knows I love gadgets and am very into pictures & photography, he was just focused on the fact that he was offended that I took that and damn near everything else HE GOT ME BACK, which to him signaled that he “couldn’t satisfy or pick out things for me”, internalizing it to mean that he felt within himself that he couldn’t satisfy ma/make me happy.

The Christmas gifts coupled with my dissatisfaction with the engagement ring did it. Now, my thing is this: why get mad if you get someone something and they don’t like it??? It’s NOT a reflection on you! And shouldn’t be taken as such. After all, why MAKE someone live with something they simply don’t like. But I have come to find out that men simply don’t think like that. But the problem comes in ,in that I am not like that. If I buy you something and you DON’T like it (which is rare with folks I buy for because I put A LOT of thought into gifts I buy….. because I buy based on what I have OBSERVED their style to be and based on what I am pretty sure they like, but I too am fallible.). But if you don’t like my gift, my theory is BY ALL MEANS take the bitch BACK to the STORE! You have to live with the item, NOT ME! And I wish that men (my husband in particular) saw it that way….. but he doesn’t….. So, since then, him even TRYING to be creative or trying to put ANNNNNNNNNNNNY kinda serious thought into a gift is out the door.

It’s usually like “what do you want for Christmas/birthday/anniversary?” And I’ll give him a list of about 2-3 things and he’ll pretty much pick something. This brings me back to my hating Valentine’s Day. We haven’t had a great V-day’s to date and I was just glad that on this last one, we didn’t fight or argue or blow up some shit! Cause for us Valentine’s Day has equaled “black Monday”.

Also, add to this that my husband, while he wants to please me, isn’t demonstrative like me and I kinda like to have someone go above and beyond for me because that’s what I do for them. I know, I know…… it’s not about that and it’s not about the material things. I guess, in a way, that IS how I show the feelings behind it. It’s the thought and care that I take that is displayed in effort. And I’ve told him that I’d like that type of thing but…it seems like that just isn’t “him”. He takes care of me in other ways though and takes care of our family and for that I am grateful. But sometimes a girl would like to get the balloons and dinner and a “treasure hunt” game hidden in a card or just something creative like some “heart shaped cookies” made for me (or bought), or a small ice-cream cake with my name on it or a weekend planned at a B & B or anything else that takes a bit of “creativity”. And I love my husband, but it “just ain’t him” and I end up being disappointed when I should be grateful that I have a man who loves me enough to get me anything in the first place. And yes, I have told him these feelings, but I think that he is still like “fuck that”…. I ain’t getting MY feelings hurt by getting her the wrong thing again”. But some people aren’t those kind of “demonstrative” people. Nothing wrong with them, but that creative romantic shit just ain’t them…. So then, I end up feeling all conflicted and feel bad about how I’m feeling……**heavy sigh**

See….this is why I don’t like Valentine’s Day……..

Ya'll be good.....

New person

I hate my boss…. Now I know that this is starting off like a number of other posts regarding this woman, but I really can’t stand her. Why do I dislike her now or rather “today”? I think you all remember me telling you about my girl that I used to work with who got fired in November.

Well, we are STILLLLLLLLL looking for her replacement. Now, the reason for this lag time is due to a number of things: Thanksgiving holiday, Christmas holiday, end of the year processes, etc. SO, we didn’t really start even looking through the resumes until we returned from the week-long Christmas/New Year’s break. We have interviewed 6 people and there are 2 final candidates.

Along the path to finding this “right” person for this job, I have been plagued with several thoughts. One, I really wanna tell ANNNYBODY that applies “RUN FOR THE HILLS BITCH, THIS JOB AIN’T NUTHIN BUT DEALING WITH AN IDIOSYNCRATIC, MICROMANAGING, EGOTISTICAL, NEEDY, INSECURE BITCH-OF-A-BOSS!!!!”. But there is no easy or tactful way to say those things. Now there have been 5 black women and 1 hispanic woman that interviewed for the position. That’s not to say that we didn’t WANT to interview a wider base of people, it’s just that the ones who even looked like they qualified were, umm…..black or Hispanic. Period. Or the ones that were white were overqualified. And personally, I just need someone who is mature, skilled, pleasant in personality and who can deal with this bitch without running for the hills.

So, we’re down to the LAST two of the 6 and I really like one and my boss while she likes the one I like, she really likes the other. Why? Well, because the Hispanic broad that she likes speaks Spanish fluently. That’s about, I’d say…..95% of why she’s leaning towards this bitch and I am LIVID! So, Chica girl has some experience, but when she took the aptitude tests, was slooooooooooooooow as hell and seemed to process things slowly mentally. Hey, that’s not a crime, I know, I know….. The reason my boss is acting like this bitch is the holy grail and she just found it is because there are dealings that my division (not my group, HR), but that the DIVISION does with Mexico. She’s trying to make it seem like being fluent in Spanish is just suuuuuuuuuuuch a good thing and that it would be soooooooooooooooo good! Bitch! How often do WE (the HR group) have to deal with someone either #1 in Mexico or #2 who DOESN’T speak Spanish who is in Mexico. Uh, the answer is next to NEVER ! I could see if this bitch would be doing traveling (which she won’t because this position is an Admin. Asst. position…..whoever’s in this position needs to be HERE, because we may be out at any given time). But my boss is acting like this bitch, Chica girl, is the answer to her prayers!

Now, we interviwed the other girl today and I loved her immediately. We’ll call her Sista girl (because she’s a young black woman….not because she has the sista-girl ‘attitude’) Why did I love her? First, she looked professional, neat and well put together. That’s first, because how you present yourself has a WHOOOLE lot to do with how people look at you (Chica girl looked like she had jumped into some old, too small suit and her hair was thrown up in one of those clip-things) Second, she is EXTREMELY articulate (Chica girl is articulate as well, but Sista girl spoke with more determination and she interviewed much better and had more clear and concise answers than Chica girl did). Sista girl has also had more education and more experience with payroll and HR than Chica girl has as well (albeit, neither of them has a degree). And plainly put, I work more with this position on a daily basis than even my boss does really and truly! And me & Sista girl just flat out had more chemistry than me & Chica.

AH HAH! Now we get to the real reason that I KNOW that my stankin ass boss is NOT going to hire Sista girl. You see, she always resented (deep down) the fact that me & my other co-worker developed a great rapport and friendship. She flat-out didn’t like that fact and was for awhile trying to sabbotage the relationship by "suggesting" that I go to lunch with "other managers" and would point out when me & her EVER were away from our desks at the same time,etc. just to be a stank-ass. She eventually gave up on that shit when she saw that after uh.... 2 years that I just was NOT doing stuff her way! You get the picture.

Sista girl is friendly and outgoing and seems to be a better fit with ME in particular (which my boss noted in a positive way, but I think it really had hidden implications)! So, just based on the fact that me & Sista girl would get along sooooooooo much better than me & Chica probably would just based off of initial chemistry is a reason for her to not hire Sista girl. I also feel like if you have it in your mind already that you want Chica girl, don't waste my or Sista girl's time. It's just stupid. You can prove that you did your (fake-ass) due dilligence in terms of trying to find someone, so just do it. Don't lead this girl along. I mean, she talked soooooooooo much to Sista girl today that during the 2 ½ hours that she was here, all we did was ask her about 10-12 questions COMBINED and my boss sat up in here and talked this girls ear off....abotu her husband, hre new house, working for a living, her sick dementia suffering mama and on and on and on and on and on and on.....my boss talked SO much that the girl didn't have time to do the testing that she needed to do, so she has to come back tomorrow at 7am to complete testing that had motormouth not had oral diarrhea, she could've completed TODAY! But like I said, I know that she's not gonna hire Sista girl and I am beside myself with anger about it.

I KNOW this bitch is going to hire Chica, after all “I do have the final decision” as she so tactfully and humbly noted I (i'm being sarcastic as shit if you can't tell...) after she and I were discussing the merits of each candidate. It’s so not fair……. Chica is just O.K. and the kicker in all lof this is that was what we BOTH said immediately following Chica's interview. Now all of a fucking sudden she such the faaaavorite. FUCK that hoe! I am so beside myself and out of my skin on this that I can’t see straight. Because I KNOW that SHE knows that Sista girl is just plain flat out the better candidate for this position AND her “fit” is better within our group. Fuck being bilingual, I have NEVER had a situation in the 4 years that I’ve been here where we’ve even NEEDED to interact with Mexico! She’s just creating a reason to hire this bitch out her bilinguality being a nice “selling point” that this girl has. My husband said “just let it go…..because you know she gon hire Chica girl… you know it! She (my boss) can’t stand that you and Sista would probably get along TOO well and that is a negative for Sista girl”. She simply doesn't want me to befriend anyone. She wants me to keep that chasm between me "the big bad MANAGER" and the "lowly admin person" and I simply don't operate on that type of antiquated caste system. It's so fucking stupid and childish. I can be respected and friendly and get the job done too. People don't HAVE TO fear me to get the job done......that's her way, not mine! She's just so much like a damn 3-year old who get's jealous because her best friend has other friends & she can't handle it. I’m disgusted.

I’m going to sulk now.

Superbowl madness has got me too.....

Yes,yes ya'll....I haven't been ignoring you all, I have just been sooooooooooo busy and by the time I get a moment in the evening to myself, I am exhausted. This is a short week at work, because due to SUPERBOWL XL being held in Detroit (which is where I work) and ESPN and all 3,700 sportscasters/media personnel being camped out in the building I WORK IN, they want our asses OUT after Wednesday. That's right, I CAN'T EVEN COME UP IN THE BUILDING Thurs. & Friday! (WTF??) So, that doesn't mean that I get two free fucking "pick my ass" days,....nooooo...... that just means that they are kicking us out and "you all have to find another location to work out of". Which translates into, "Robyn, go to our Warren office, where there are substandard accomodations and you won't even have a real desk to work off of". *smile* If they are REQUIRING my as to be ghost, then I should have two free fucking VACATION DAYS, NOT be made to find someplace else to fucking work! *loud funky sigh*.

Whatever

Well.....all that means that I am on hyper speed trying to get work done that my boss HAS to review BEFORE we get kicked out on Wednesday eve. So......... I've been working like a Hebrew! As a matter of fact, I SHOULDN'T even be on here right now cuz I SHOULD be typing up this report that I am working on, but c'est la vie.

So..... I'm posting an oldie but goodie post to tide ya'll over. I posted this in August and seeing as though these tenets never go out of style here it is again for ya'll.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For all that know me, you know that I work in a huge facility that has 4 separate buildings that house THOUSANDS of employees. The parking for those employees is broken up amongst several parking garages. The parking garage that I park at is approximately a 10 minute walk away. Hence, there is a shuttle service that picks up and drops off employees to and from the main building. Door to door service! Gotta love it.

For the most part, this is a wonderful service (O.K. here’s where I get picky and bitchy..) BUT there are some exceptions to every rule. The buses are commuter buses, you know the nice white ones that seat between 20-40 people depending on the bus and look like the buses that take you to/from a hotel from the airport or something or the like. Most buses even have music playing of the popular black radio stations (because it's mostly "us" that's driving, that's what radio station is playing). Because the bus route is a quick 2 minutes , buses pull up quite frequently. During my 4 years here, I have noticed some irritating shit that people do that in my opinion SHOULD go int he "what the fuck NOT TO DO section of the “Code of the Parking Structure Bus Rider”.

I shall detail these things below for those who have OBVIOUSLY neva been schooled on appropriate conduct in small spaces:

1.Do NOT blow your fucking nose if someone (especially if MY BLACK ASS) is sitting next to you. Not even if it’s a GODAMN snot-emergency! This fucking morning this funky ass white muthafucka with a cheap suit and some “2 funky brotha’s” cologne proceeds to blow his gahdamn nose while I was sitting RIGHT next to him!! BITCH! I was mad as hell. O.K. first of allI was mad because these seats are NOT made for anyone over a size 8 (women) or over a size 36 waist size (men’s). And even then your ass might feel like a salty sardine! Now I know that there’s a whole yunch oh nasty-ass-mothafuckas in the world, but when did it become O.K. to blow yo’ snot particles (imagine me feeling like I'm sitting in that movie theatre in the movie "Outbreak".....you get the picture) albeit into a rag, that he put BACK INTO HIS bag *disgusted face*, when we’re sitting so close to one another I can hear your gahdamn heart beat?????? Stankin-ass-baturds!!!! And seeing as though , as previously stated, the bus ride is 2 fucking minutes. YOUR ass can wait unless your nose is running and then you can simply wipe, NOT BLOW your gahdamn nose!!!! UUUUUGHHHHHH!!! This is why I am convinced that white people in general do NOT live by the code of cleanliness that black folk do. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some McNasty’s out there in the black community…..but far less than whites. (and they equate US with being dirty...hhhmph! *tooting my nose in the air, lips curled up*).


2.DO not talk on a cell phone in closed spaces or talk quietly!!! Don’t most people know it is rude as fuck to talk LOUDLY on the cell phone when you are in closed spaces (e.g.a bus, an elevator….)?? If you are sitting next to me and we are on a bus, please cut that damn convo. short and tell the muthafucka you’ll call them RIGHT back if you can’t manage to cut that mouth volume down several notches! Just say no and shut the FUCK UP!

3.Do NOT start singing the fucking music that is playing on the bus’ radio station! Now, I told you that the buses have music playing on most of them. You ain’t Rueben, Clay or Fantasia bitch and this AIN’T a Karaoke contest! Now, most of the time the 2 minute bus trip is uneventful and QUIET. Other than people talking in quieter tones to a co-worker, etc. it’s usually quiet even if there is music playing WHYYYYY was I on the bus yesterday morning and this mothafucka was FIRST of all talking loud as HELL on his cell phone (reference rule #2 above) and then his white, janky-looking ass started singing along with Michael Jackson “Don’t stop til you get enough….keep on with the force…..don’t….don’t stop til you get enough” (repeat) I was sitting RIGHT behind this muthafucka and his attempt at being cool was turning out horribly and I sooooooo was tempted to tap or better yet SLAP the shit out of him and let him know that he AIN’T cool and he WASN’T gruuuuvin’ and that we (the masses on the bus) did NOT enjoy his lil stankin-ass impromptu concert was worthy of getting thrown the-fuck-out of ANY Karaoke bar. Sheesh! You’d think he’d have gotten the message after people started to turn and look at his ass! *now remember this is a 2 minute bus ride, 3 at the MOST, so I was relieved of my aural hostage takeover very soon !
Addendum: do you know that when this mu’fucka got off the bus he was all of 4’ 5”???? I shook my head as I looked down at him and thought “This explains EVERYTHING.....*sigh*”

4. If your ass is too WIDE to get down the AISLE of the bus or if the bus tilts to one side when you try to get on it, this means you need to WALK to the building. There is no reason that I and the person next to me should be smashed into the window with our lips pressed against the glass simply because yo’ big ass is “comin thru”!!! And if your ass IS that big, chances are you NEED to walk. Take advantage of this opportunity to commit to this form of exercise. Now, I ain’t no little, petite woman either, but Sumo/Samoan I ain’t. Therefore, I can speak to these issues!

5. Please do NOT sit directly next to me if there are say.... 92 other seats on the damn bus! Why do people do this?? Is it to feel safe? Is it to feel like they are really a part of the human experience? Is it to smell my sexy body? NOOOOOOOOOO!! I am convinced that people who do dumb-ass shit like this do it to simply irritate the FUCK outta me!!! Cause please believe that these 2 seats are really the equivalent of 1 1/2 seats! GET AWAY FROM ME!

6.And if you DO sit next to me and I DO NOT know you (even if I do, unless we're cool like dat) PLEASE , I repeat PLEASE DON'T start inane-ass, languid conversations with me O.K., sometimes idle chatter is O.K., but really & truly my time in teh morning on the bus (yes that 2-3 minutes and the 5 minute walk through the building to my desk)is MY TIME to "get my mind right". And the evening time is my time to get the FUCK outta Dodge and I am like Mario Andretti on a nigga! At 5:00pm (because my bitch ass boss will NOT let a slave nigga leave until EXACTLY 5:00pm) I am flying out the doh'! Eat my dust biatches! So I don't want to talk then either. I am focused on two things: getting my ass to my vehicle and high-tailing it onto the freeway as fast as I can, because literally, minutes lost in pre-freeway time can = traffic jam city! And as I am impatient, that does not bode well with me. The other focus is getting the Zilla from daycare. So, I do not appreciate you droning on and on and on and on and .....you get it. It fucks up my mental! And in addition, it's rude and as IRRITATING as a fly that you just can't kill that continues to light on everything in your house! I don't care about the "nice day" or "my, isn't it hot" or any other stupid "filler-chat" you idle mind comes up with. Save it. One day this woman was going on and on and I was just giving her the nicey-nice smiles and saying "oh, o.k." and " mmm hmmm" and "mmmmm" trying to be nice. But it wasn't until I shot her a "shut the fuck up " look that she finally did just that. See....folks force me to be evil.. I swear they do.

7. If you smell like hot garbage and cabbage, GET’CHO ass OFF and STAY off the Godamn bus until you take a shower! Being in a confined space where it’s hot, because SOME of these buses have NO A/C, is just ridiculously oppressive and unfair to others when you add funk + heat it = straight con-funktion. I work in a building where most of the employees that work here are employed by one of the Big 3. Hence, there are a fair number of people employed that are of either East Indian, Pakistani, Arabic descent since they employ these fuckers like they’re God’s gift to America . People, you know where I’m going with this. Why can stankin, I mean STANKKKKKKKKIN muthafucka’s be allowed to come to work and by the sheer mist of funk that is emanating from ONE person’s body, stink up the WHOLE floor! That’s a shame!! There is no reason that HYGEINE be one of those “cultural preferences” that is accepted in the U.S. !!! I swear, if there was someone on my side of this floor that smelled like that, there’d HAVE to be something done about it!!! It’s no less fair to have a person be told to “tone down” their perfume if it is causing other employee’s to have headaches, nausea, etc. than it would be to ask someone who is STANKIN-ALL-TO-BE-DAMNED to wash their ass. I just don’t get it. WASH.YO.ASS. BITCHES. Them oniony ass nigga’s betta be glad that I don’t have to smell them.

O.K., I’m done....

Stink you very much.

Question for the day:

I was listening to the radio a few days ago and the topic was:

“if you are a single parent and are seeing someone (fairly seriously), should that person be allowed to discipline your children?”

I believe that if you would trust this person in your bed, and your ass, you SHOULD be able to trust them to be a good role model to your children.

Lemme ‘splain that last comment.

I believe that we as women number ONE “give it up”, whatever it may be, to people who are unworthy and are untested as to their character, integrity and their ethical beliefs. Why would you let your children even BE AROUND a suitor who you wouldn’t necessarily trust in your house and why would you let that same person get the ass.

I don’t think that, especially with younger children, that a man or woman should be allowed to discipline (in terms of men in the dating world) your children unless they are damn serious or married. Children’s minds are too precious and too impressionable. And all it takes is a momma that has “uncle squeaky” and “uncle pookie” and “uncle gino” coming over all the time to figure out, them ain’t my uncles. It puts a warped sense of male-female relationships into the universe again and it prepetuates problems that we hear about so often in the black-family dynamic.

I guess, and this is just me, but if I were a single parent, even if I DID fuck a nigga, his ass wouldn't be around my son.....period. I respect my baby just that much. Just my 2 centavos.

what do you think?

Chase that dream

My best friend is a singer. Now, she has never made it big, never had a record deal or ever stood on a stage with Patti, Aretha or Whitney (pre-cracky-ness), but she can blow. Now I do not say that lightly or to brag. She has a beautiful 5-octave range and is a beautiful person through and through. But I did not come to discuss her beauty.

I came because I now understand why she has persevered with her desire to be a singer and what pursuing your dreams really means .

Since I have known her singing is really ALL she’s ever wanted to do. Though she is very intelligent and very proactive, she didn’t really want to pursue her major in college which was journalism. She wanted to sing. She left school subsequently to do just that. She got a gig touring with the now defunct house music group ‘ Inner City’ and after she returned from Europe, she never completed her degree. I have always held a secret anger at her for leaving and not finishing her degree. Why? Because as a black woman n America, I felt that a degree would give her the leverage WHILE she was seeking fame and fortune, to get a small piece o’ the pie. So how has she survived you ask? Well, until she got married, she’d lived with her Mom off and on while holding down a variety of jobs......waitress being the most common of them. She waitressed at a Chilli/Spaghetti joint and most recently at Big Boy. But she never lost hope. Never gave up and never let herself get so down that she did not return to that which she loved. Signing.

Because she would often compare our lives and become disheartened when she didn't have the money to shop (because oh, you had BETTER DAMN believe she is a DIVA in every sense of the word!)and say “but Robyn you can do this, or that, etc.” and I have always thought “well, if your ass went to SCHOOL you could do all those things that those of us in the work world can do too!”. But I never made that statement to her. I know that she would have felt that me, her sister from another mother, along with the rest of the Joe Shmoes just didn’t understand. And to be honest, I didn’t. Not until now. I didn’t understand what kept her going, working menial jobs, while still trying to make demos or still trying to figure out how to make it in that industry. I have never looked at the reason that she did not finish school, did not get a “typical” job and did not give up on her dream. But I see it for what it is now.

Passion.

She has true passion and desire and LOVE for what she is trying to accomplish!!! Not many of us can truly say that we have that in terms of our chosen profession. I damn sure can’t. My profession is a means to an end, not a reason to rise each day. I mean I “kinda like “ it, but she LOVES her chosen profession. She has that . And I honestly can say I wish I did. Now, I know that most of us have not been fortunate enough to have the support to just “follow your dreams” even if those dreams aren’t turning into dollar signs cause errry’body gotta eat But she has been fortunate enough. Shouldn’t life not be about what you do to to get by, but about what makes your heart sing? Should life not be about. Making your dreams come true if you can?

I used to resent her refusal to go into the corporate world because I thought her selfish. Selfish because she and her husband could have so much more if she just had a good job, her mother wouldn’t have had to sacrifice to help her out in addition to taking care of herself. But the one thing I never thought about is that the people who have been supporting her financially have also supported her dreams. And that also is worth it’s weight in gold. She didn’t hold them at gunpoint, she didn’t force them to help. They did it because they BELIEVED in her. She has a husband who , knowing that this was her dream when they MET supports her following her dreams. She will be 35 this year and she JUST enrolled in a dramatic arts school in NYC. How many husbands would support that and how many people would have the courage to go for their dreams in this way. It takes a WHOLE LOT OF SACRIFICE and a HELL OF A LOT of courage to reinvent yourself and keep moving when you have not had doors open up the way that you thought you would have at this point in your life.

So, not instead of privately scoffing at her “chasing a pipe dream” I now admire and envy her for going AFTER her dreams. Isn't that what we tell our kids to do (go after your dreams….you can be anything….blah, blah) but as soon as they do, we admonish, chastise and sometimes belittle their dreams depending on what they are? The real world is a hard place and we do that out of concern and care. I know that. But wouldn’t it be nice if we could ALL just go after what we WANTED to do instead of what we HAVE to do?? Going after your dreams isn’t always easy, but if you can do so, why wouldn’t you want to go after something that makes you happy?

I would.