You married who???

Me and my husband and the little one went to a birthday party yesterday for one of my son's classmates. Now this classmates Mom went to high school with me and is either 1 or 2 years older than me.

So we get there and we go downstairs, see other parents we know and start chatting in general.. all of a sudden, I see this man....who was the father of this guy that I grew up with. You see, I lived in an apartment building growing up, and the son lived there with his Mom and StepDad, so we were cool even though he was like 4 years older than me and you KNOW at that age (teenage years) that 4 years DO make a difference, so though we were cool, we didn;t really start having "real conversations until I was in high school and would see him at parties,etc.

Annnnnyway......

So we're sitting there and when this man peeks his head around the corner, I recognized him instantly! Top that off with the fact that the man (we'll call him Cool Daddy) was ALSO one of my 9th grade teachers at my high school! So, I knew him VERY well!

So, I am tripping right?! I go to the mother of the son that was having the party and say "Was that Cool Daddy I just saw????" She says "Yes!" and then looks a little worried, as I am standing there saying "oh my God, I can't believe it! I am tripping that that is Cool Daddy!!!" So she says (with a slightly fading smile at this poinit) "Yeah... is everythign o.k.?". So then I snapped out of my reverie and said "Oh, yes! No... I was just tripping because I haven't seen him in so long and he was my teacher and I know his son."

She smiled and I said "So... is that your father?"


*****CRICKETS********


******DEAD FUCKING SILENCE*****


"no...that's, my husband"



***CRASSSSSH****(that was the sound of my face falling on the floor and CRACKING)

I was so embarassed and then one of her APPARENTLY GHETTO-ASS co-workers (the host is not ghetto at ALL or by any stretch of the imagination!) said "Did she say what I said..DID SHE SAY THAT???? HAAAA hAAAAAA!!!" I wanted to slap her dumb ass for calling EVEN MORE attention to it!! Apprently, this co-worker has been working with her for awhile and apparntly SHE said the same thing YEARS ago when she met her "husband" ! I wanted to die. My husband said (when I told him what had happened) "well, I guess YOU won't be invited over again!" (I wanted to slap him too!)

So, here's the skinny on this: This TEACHER was always RUMORED to be fucking around with UNDERAGE girls back when I WAS in high school! It was alleged that he flirted and had sex with high school girls. I never actually KNEW someone who he had been with, but my girl, Dr. Diva said the same thing(cause you KNOW I called her as SOON as I got home to tell her!). She also called her Dad and brother and Mom (who worked for the school board AND knew him too) and her Dad said that he had "heard" about him doing the same type of shit after he left the school. We always heard stuff like that and I actually think he may have been eventually FIRED because of his behavior. My thing is: Didn't chick that he is marreid to hear this????? She was there when I was there too!!!! If she didn't she had to have been under a rock! Because though our school was big...."things" about teachers who were "not right" floated aroudn quicker than a wildfire spreads! I have also heard some other ill shit that is "purported" to have taken place with young-ass girls (i.e. 20-30 years YOUNGER than him)after he left the school..... dunno.... I hope for her sake that he has stopped his philandering ways!

But I felt bad because the whole "daddy" thing was second nature for me to say! He is old as CRAP! He has a son that is either 40 OR 41 and a FOUR YEAR OLD!!! WTF?????? WOW. Oh, and chick DID let me know that though she was trying to 1/2 ass "fake it" in words like it was all good, that she DID have a tude behind my saying what I said!

But in the words of Dr. Diva, "That chick HAS to get that shit ALL the time... and she KNEW that he was a popular teacher and she should EXPECT that shit when she maarried an old ass nigga anyway!"

I rest my case and don't feel bad AT ALL since she brought me back to reality!!! LOL

But still... WOW.... you married WHO???????????????

Black African Bootyscratchers?

Why is it that some men look at certain aspects of grooming as "un-manly". By this I mean, getting a their nails trimmed and feet groomed. Or it could mean getting a facial and just being neat and clean. Just keeping neat in general! But for real, my REAL pet peeve is hairy PITS and hairy BALLS! Now I am by NO means saying you need to go Brazilian waxing these areas, but what is wrong to trimming them and KEEPY them trimmed to about 1/2 an inch worth of hair??? It takes 2 seconds to buzz them pits and about 2 minutes to do the balls! I'm just saying ya'll..... keeping that shit cut will keep BACTERIA out of YOUR shit too!!! Hair holds BACTERIA (lok it up...any bacteriologist or run of the mill doctor will tell yo ass that shit, if you doubt what I am saying!) Yeast infections are NOT fun! Keeping your hair cut (upstairs AND below) is a MUST for me!!!

I know that in the archaic days that being a man meant having the requisite neanderthal BUSH under your arms and around your damn balls (I am SURE that shit served puroposes when there was no SOAP and WATER and shit, but NOT now)!!! I cannot STAND a whole swath of hair around a man's "franks and beans"!!!! It LOOKS nasty and the shit HOLDS DIRT, ODOR and BACTERIA! UGH!!!!!!

I could NOT be with a man who had a problem taking care of these areas!!! Ya know... wearing CLEAN clothes that aren't all fucked up and holy or wrinkled all to hell.... as well as keeping your hair cut AND brushed/combed!!!!I just couldn't be with someonw who didn't take enough pride in himself to do these things! I keep MYSELF washed, groomed and combed, and so should YOUR ass if you are my mate! For real ya'll! I TRULY believe in "metrosexual" not meaning HOMOSEXUAL!!! Men that think so are probably CLOSET gay anyway as far as I am concerned or too damn caught up in stereortypical "idea" of what a man should or should not be like. **shaking my damn head** Do these "cavemen" not realize that women WANT a man who takes care of themselves just like ya'll want someone who takes care of HERSELF!

Grooming is not just for women people! I have had some funky-balled negroes in my time and it really did TURN me off!!! Thankfully, there haven't been many....but I repeat I would NOT be with one who didn't take prode in themselves.

Get it together guys! (at least the ones of you to whom this applies!) We expect and deserve better! LOL

Friday Night TV

Hey there!

Me and my gurls went out AGAIN.... this past Friday. We went to the SAME club/sports bar that we went to last week and had a blast again! See below:



(DIVA, Me , Tee)

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy was I looking all "greasy" and my girls were looking cool and colleceted??? because MY DUMB ass wore a dayum SWEATER up in that joint and it was hot as hell on fire!!! LOL

This was a lil different though because there were waaaaaaaaaay more people there because it was the "2nd" grand opening of the place! So there were people wall-to-wall.

Good times were had by all! I saw some people I haven't seen in a WHILE and had fun chatting it up with them!

On the job front, I still have not found another job, but I am still looking. I am also seriously contemplating REALLY trying to expand my photography ability and go ahead and take some classes and go ahead and get my photography business going.

My husband pointed out something that my best friend and a few others have said: You don't LIKE working a 9 to 5 for someone else! While that is true, I struggle with the who idea of being able to do what I want to do and have the lifesyle that I have while trying to "build" my photography. I CANNOT stop working! For real.

So, while I like "some parts" of HR, I want to hone my photography and get better at that and make THAT my livelihood. I was looking in Black Enterprise last night and this girl made a shop that is a nail/pedicure salon into this cute, eclectic spot in Brooklyn!! Now THAT is what I am talking about!

Moving on and into something new (while also looking for a new 9to5 in the meantime! I mean a sista GOTTA eat!!) LOL

One of them nights!

"It's the good life....let's go on a living spree...they say the best things in life are free...The Good Life, it's feels like Atlanta, it feels like L.A. , it feels like Miami..." - Good Life-Kanye West




These FAT-ASS Amethyst Louboutin's-The Good Life Indeed



Hot dayum ya'll! Me and my girl hung out on Friday and had a CERTIFIED.BLAST!!! When I tell you I had so much fun with her that it ain't even FUNNY..I'm for real folks! Here's the deal.... I only have a FEW female friends and one of them (my girl Jen) is outta town, and the other's usually have busy social schedules and things to do or just don't feel like hangin when I do.

So, me and Diva had both gotten our hair done earlier, put on a lil lipstick and got ready to hit the town! We KNEW we were cute too! LOL She was flossin in her hubby's brand new black on black Lincoln MKX crossover and we were out! Where to go? We don't go out that often, so we really do NOT know of that many places, and also I do NOT wanna be near the 20-28 year olds either. Too young for me. So, we hit up a place that used to be a bar/club that was recently revamped into a sports bad and is owned by this guy who owns the salon where I get my hair done occasionally.

So, though we hadn't gon out in a while, me & Diva like this place and dedcided to go there or at least start there. But you see.... my girl, DIVA and I go waaaaaaaaaay back on the hang tip and whenever we hang I have a blast!! It just felt so good to have some drinks , some laughs and some fun in a social environment! I like , literally, almost NEVER do this anymore!

Then one of my BEST male friends, who goes waaaaaaaay back with me, MH, came down to the spot we were at, so we DEFINITELY had a blast. It's cool to go out with your husband, but since Diva and I haven't been out since I think LAST YEAR, it was overdue and DEFINITELY needed! Typically when we go out, I do not drink because I am ALWAYS.DRIVING. Diva usually does NOT drive because she be like "i don't know where I am going..." ...mmm-hmmm.... I can see why she does this: SO THAT HEFFA CAN DRINK!!!! I hardly EVER drink, but I must admit a few just loosen you up and help ya ass RELAX! Literally, I think the LAST time I had a drink was about 3 months ago and THAT was a Hummer (kahlua and ice cream). Well, not tonight babe! I had a NICE set (yes I said set) of drinks and she was the responsible one and only had a couple! I got a niiiiice buzz going and we kicked it and talked shit! We ended up just eating and chilling there all night.

The bar/club that we were at had some bangin music that was old school meets new school/meets my kinda groove!!!

And Diva understands me, that is why it is SOOOOOO much fun going out with her!!! Her husband always says (who is a friend of mine and how I met Diva in the FIRST through THIRD place!) "When ya'll get together....it's gon be some TROU-ble, TROU-ble!!!". If we weren't such good women, it would be.....lemme tell you. Me and Diva ALWAYS say "If I knew THEN, what I know NOW.....baaay-be...." LOL But serously. Diva is always there for me and I for her. We are very much alike in so many ways and I am so glad I met her!

And at the end of the night, this guy that I was sitting next to (but really had not even SPOKEN to) PAID our bill !!!!! WTF???? I was like "than you so much...what's your name?" He told me and come to find out me and him went to ELEMENTARY school together (yeah, I have a memory for things like that)!!!! I had not seen him SINCE then as we went to different schools after elem., but his face was the same! He said that once I started talking he remembered me as well (I too look the DAMN same since I was what...3 weeks old??lol) And get this, there was a guy who came over while I wasx talking to the guy sitting next to me and told Diva "I wanted to pay for your drinks and food, but the waitress told me that it had already been taken care of". Well, al-fucking-righty then!!! I guess me and Diva still got it!


And on Saturday, me and Diva and her hubby and his family went to see "Why Did I Get Married?" and let me tell you, if you like Tyler's movies, you'll love this one. I think this was the best one YET! My girl Angie in the movie was OFF DA CHAIN!!! I leaned over and told my husband "THAT'S yo momma!" LOL Cause on the Lo-Low.... I could SOOOOOOO see his momma going the FUCK OFF on a bitch like Angie did in some of those situations! LOL

We came home and today I have just chilled out and relaxed. Right now, my fam is watching football at a friend of my husband's house. He takes my son because there is a boy his age there, so EVERYBODY has fun and Momma has a few hours to fuckin chill by herself since I STILL HATE football. Don't get it twisted....

Still high off the weekend and Diva..... I'm STILL fucked up! LOL

Carry on people!

Sexual playthings and brokeness

Hey folks!


BROKE as a JOKE
I will start by saying that I am so broke. Really broke. I am trying to be more positive and trying to use



If you are not up on this , get up on it here..... I need to use this more as I am just wondering when my "day" will come for the positive. I don't get paid until Friday and I am ALREADY "borrowing" against some of my future monies and will be on a TIGHT-ASS budget (tighter than a hooker's garter belt!)!!!!

This is sad. But I am grateful because my husband, blessed soul that he is has taken a bill that I used to pay and he is going to pay it (yeah,we are on each other's accounts, but we have seperate accounts...the ones we used to have before we were married...) to allow me some breathing room. I am also going to pay off one of my credit cards with some $$$ from savings so that will put some $$ back into my pocket on a monthly basis. But all in all, I am broke. I drive a banging car, have a cute (although small) house, but I am broke. I need a flippin salary increase or a new job BAD! I am trying to focus on the positive (i.e that I have a job and that life hasn't changed REDICULOUSLY. For that I am happy.

But I need more. More money that is.....

WTF???Family store?

Can somebody tell me WHYYYYYYYYYYY this
"Personal Massager" was online at Walgreens.com ?????? I have not seen this in the store (thankfully), but am I the ONLY one who finds selling a DILDO at a run-of-the-mill drug store???!! I guess pleasuring ones self just became more accessible boys and gals!! **smh** But I guess since there is the "KY-hot and spicy" (or whatever the name of that stuff is) that is sold and condoms and all kinds of other stuff.... it just seems a little "Fredricks"-like to me!!! LOL


Tell me

Tell me if I am wrong for feeling this way:

So... my boss comes to us (her team) and says the following:

"well, because there have been issues on the weekends (because people here work like HEBREWS typically Saturday or Sunday every week), I am thinking that it would be a good idea for us all (there are nine of us) to ROTATE being here on a Saturday or a Sunday....if we ALL do this, we will only have to do this once every 9 weeks...and the upside of this is that you will get a weekday off when you work on that Saturday or Sunday". Now I was off last Friday because I was sick and she apparently sent some e-mail saying this and other's got to ruminate and then react. So when she asks me, I was in a room, by myself with her and I was trying my HARDEST to stifle the "fuck you...are you fucking serious" look that I felt trying to escape from every pore in my face!

My reaction (internally): "HELL FUCK NO!!! I do NOT want to come in here on the weekends! Not even if it IS only once every 9 weeks! NO! My reaction to her after acting like I was really "thinking" about it: "I'll think about it...I AM planning on going back to school..blah. blah.blah...and Saturday classes MAY be something I would do...blah.blah.blah....".


Whatever. I would never take a Saturday class unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. I just couldn't come up with anything else with her sitting there looking at me like a dog waiting for a treat.

#1, my husband works late and I already do NOT get to see him until late most nights #2 that means half of the time I can spend with my family will be cut OUT and my weekend broken up on said weekend. Even if I get Monday off , it won't seem like I had the equal number of days off becuase they a broken up! and #3 even though my husband is as MUCH a parent to my child as I am, because we have no family support, that means that one of HIS weekend days would be with no rest and no break.#4 I just don't want to INCONVENIENCE myself for what.... the $8,000 salary DECREASE that I got! Oh, and it looks like most of the other 9 people have said that they are GAME AND READY to do it.... I guess I would be the lone dissenter.

So, when she hears my dismay and potential "no" looming , she says "well, it's o.k. if you can't...it's not MANDATORY.....it's TOTALLY optional...". mmm-hmm...i know, i know...she MAY look at this pejoratively.**shrug**

And I'mma tell you the truth people, my REAL BIG, FAT, NASTY, HAIRY reason for saying NO is because you all are NICKEL AND FUCKING DIMING me on my money! You cut $8,000 and I was supposed to be in a "jr." position , and all of a sudden a "shift" in everyone's responsibilities has occurred and I am being PURPORTED to be in a "full" position! Granted, I have less problems to deal with daily than the other "full" position holding team members do, but I am also going to be taking on being a "backup" to another location because the person who was at that location si being shuffled to ANOTHER location! So, we'll be "sharing" the load.

No problem.

I have NOOOOO problem with the work.

GIVE

ME

MY

FUCKING

MONEY!!!!!!!!!

You want me to sacrifice and do more and take MY TIME away to flip-flop and be "oh-so-available" and at ya'lls whim??? Well, FUCKING pay my ass!

So my feeling is until you DO SO..... FUCK.YOU. I am NOT coming in here not ONE weekend day, even if I do get another one off! You ask for lots from people but give nothing in return.

Am I wrong??? I would like to get ya'll's honest opinion and feeling on this....come one lurkers..... speak up too! TS? Diva?? What'cha'll think?

Holla!

Joni Mitchell never lied....

You may never see this, but one day, ALL things come full circle and you WILL realize that you don't know what you got til it's gone.

For the love of Money.... or lack thereof...

I love this picture because it sums up how I've been feeling. In general, fuck it. I am so broke with this new "salary" (if you didn't read the previous stuff....my Salary was REDUCED by $8,000 a year)that it isn't funny.

Me & my husband argued yesterday about money and our "budget" and what needs to change(all day during work mind you) and I am so tired of thinking about it. I just need to find another job that pays me what I need to be paid. All this is coming about (mostly) because in the last year my salary has been reduced by $15,000 a year and we have absolutely NO room to do SHIT at this point!!! No room to take a trip, no room to save, no room to do ANYTHING! Hell, until my salary goes back up I stopped my 401k deduction! (say what you will, but I NEED that money right now, and though after taxes it's less, it still makes enough of a difference for me to justify doing it until I can figure out a way for my salary to increase).

He says "things need to change" and I say " we still have to live". It's not like we eat Chateaubriand & Lobster served with a fine vintage wine every night! And it's not like this will be forever. What it IS, it that we have a child in daycare, we have a HIGH AS HELL house note, we have 2 cars notes(I for one LOVE my car and am NOT giving that bitch up, nor can I because it's a lease), and student loans that total about $650 a month! He talks about "stuff we need to decrease" and all I can see are the 3 credit cards that need to be decreased, but that is a project.... not a "we can pay them off right now" type of thing. Yeah,o.k...... I'll be honest.... there are a few things that can be decreased as well (i.e the cable, shopping for clothes, cell phone bill,etc.) but in general, MOST of our costs are fixed (i.e. house, water, electric, gas, student loans, our son's daycare cost,etc.)!!! He is feeling stressed and this is stressing me out. Badly. One thing I DO know is this: if this company doesn't shit or get off the pot SOON..... I am out. Maybe sooner than later, becuase I want to NEED TO make more freakin money!

I am still looking for a new job and need to get moving on this front! QUICKLY. I know it will come and I am just staying prayerful because I am tired of going seemingly BACKWARDS in my career over the past freakin year!


***sigh***

Lata ya'll.

Reality or fiction?

People, I LOVE reality TV..... from Real World to The Biggest Loser to Extreme Home Makeover to College Hill to Run's House to Supernanny to Wife Swap to The Great Race to Being Bobby Brown to I Love NY/Flavor of Love/Charm Schol to Life with the Christies (which I only saw ONE episode because I can't get the damn channel on my cable that it comes on ....grrrrrr)...I LOVE THEM ALL!!!!

I think that it is something about (alot of) us that makes us watch. It's like we are voyeurs into a world which we would never be allowed into otherwise. It gives us a glimpse into people characters and allows us to zone out. It makes celebs more real and lets us know that the things we do are NOT so out there azfter all or that we are waaaaay more grounded than we ever thought! LOL It's fabulous!!! Now... My husband would just say "naw....it ain't NONE of that...you just NOSEY!" And maybe I am.... I am a voyeur by nature. I could go to the mall and just sit there (if no one could see me) and look at and critique the folks that walk by. Hell, I KNOW someone is critiqing ME!!! So, why not get my critique on???? LOL

There are some good ones coming out soon and here is one. It'll be on VH1.....I will have to find out when it's gon be on.... I can't wait! LOL

Enjoy!!

Off to see the wizard....

So... you all know I work in HR, right? Well, here's my dilemna.... I do not always "want" to "follow the rules". I am really a person who thinks that at certain times, rules SHOULD be broken! I am not a "goody-goody" kind of person either. This is kinda anti-thetical to I guess what you could call "the code of the HR person". I have written about this before because it is constantly being tested.

I likened it to being the person who has seen what is behind the wizards cloak from The Wizard of Oz and just like in the movie, it ain't that great.



We in HR are looked to to be the "shining examples" of "rightness" and that is what MOST HR muthafucka's purport to be. But rest assured, they got shit in they draws JUUUUUST like you do ! LOL Lookie here....I am just a person and I am NOT exempt from being pissed, and not in agreeance with management and NOT wanting to follow every rule to the letter. I am NOT the damn role model for everyone. I am just a person, an employee, juuuust like ya'll truth be told.

This dichotomy. It really does vex me to my SOUL...for real!

I guess it has to do with my having seen what's behind that damn wizards cloak that I've seen. HR people are some of the MOST horrible violators of what "should be done". I have seen people get $20K raises when others are being laid off, I have seen others not get a $2K raise (that was justified by the work she was doing) and it be justified on BULLSHIT, and in general, I have seen people FIRED because of the fact that they were not "nice enough" (notice: I didn't say he did ANYTHING wrong or was rude or inappropriate) and did not look the other WAY with a BIG WIGS wife when she tried to violate site policy...WTF??? Squo???? Word. Tthat's some BULLSHIT. And in general,I have seen that if you are white, in America, just about every fucking rule can and WILL be broken for yo ass if need be.

I say all that to say that I do like being in HR, because I do think that rules & policy is necessary, but when these "supervisors" get all "holier than thou" I wanna bust em in their fuckin' jaw! Because it is a buncha SHIT!

I'm the kinda bitch that if I really trusted you, I would let you take a sick day and if you were all out, I may not "record" it. I would probably ONLY do it for a black person that I trusted however and woukd STRAIGHT UP deny and disavow the agreement if it came out....."what are you talking about".....they do it.... why can't I? The shit I have seen white folks get away with is sickening and it makes me cynical of them ALL (and some black folks too) at work.

But how does this affect me at work? It makes me not care about what people do if I can get away with it sometimes. Depending onn what it is and who knows about it...I really DO NOT CARE! The truth is, this job doesn't care about ME except for in the " how can yo BLACK ASS help me toward my next BILLION dollars" kinda way. ANd it's not just THIS company, it's all of them. The older that I have gotten, the less respect I have had for MOST companies in general because I know that I am expendable and if you think that YOU are not too, you are fooling ya'self son.

Just my .02 cents

Good Life

I am addicted to Kanye's new song "Good Life"....it has a sample of Michael Jackson's "Pretty Young Thing" and it is rockin!!! I actually like him anyway, so I figured his new album would be good (let's not talk about the temper tantrum at the awards though.....LOL)

Anyway, as far as the job goes, I woke up with this stress-tension pain going across my shoulder blades. No doubt a result of my inability to not ba a tense person. My husband rubbed my neck some and it feels a little better, but it's still there. I feel like I need some Icy Hot or something! **sigh**

But in light of all that I am complaining about, I think it is fitting to tell you all the things that I DO like:

* Getting up in the a.m. (or p.m. or whenever) and being able to walk, talk, see and hold my little one.

* I am thankful for being "relatively" healthy(need to stillllllllll lose some weight) but I am thakful for my health

* My new car. I REALLY love my new car. Cars are a BIG deal to me because I feel that I want to feel a certain way and have a certain level of comfort when I have to be in this thing EVERY.DAY, twice a day or more. Now.... I will not mortgage my HOUSE to pay for a car, but I want it to be nice and have toys and bells and whistles in it. So, with that said, my new car doesn't have ALL the bells and whistles, btu it has enough and it has plenty! I know lots of people (my mother for one) feel that a car is "a way from A to B" and that is fine. But please do not dog me because I like to do a bit'o "stylin" in my car. I feel like my car NEEDS to be an extension of my taste and self. (i know this is a long explanation on the whole car subject, but I really do love my car and it makes me HAPPY everytime I get into it!)

* My Son.I love to see my son smile and hear him tell me "mommy , I know that because I am a smart kid". I just laugh and PROMPTLY tell him "uh... you aren't THAT smart buddy" **all the wile thinking "yeah, you are a bright kid , but i don't want you to get ANY KIND of big head at the damn age of 3!"LOL.... He has had too many people telling him that and while it is good to think that you are smart and build self-esteem, I also do not want him to EVER be too arrogant! Ya know what I mean??? Anyway.... I was allllll off the topic! LOL

* Good times with Good friends. There is nothing like having a good times and having good laughs! It is essential! **note to self: schedule a date for me, Diva and TS to go out**

* Good Music. Music makes me happy if I love it.... it can be absolutely mood changing. That's why you will find me banging my music in my car OFTEN. I love music!

* Vacations. I (as I am sure everyone does) love the feeling you have when you are on vacation. I, unfortunately, have not HAD one (let me quantify this.... I mean one where you are not visiting parents or in-laws or sitting in your house for a week) in far too long. I need a real week-long, carribean get away. For real. They are great!

* Getting my hair done There is NOTHING like the feeling when I get my hair (and nails for that matter) done. I feel polished and together when they are right :-) I know Diva feels me!

And most of all, I love being happy, just genuainely happy :-)

Later ya'll and may you have a happy wonderful day!!!

another day another dolla.....

Well... the stuff just doesn't get better.... LOL

All I CAN do is laugh at this point, because I want to scream!!!! Basically.... I have now had my desk moved for the THIRD time in the 9 months that I have been here. I hate change. I want to be someplace and just be. I HATE all of this musical fucking desks. I was JUST getting used to the (albeit bad locale) of the 3rd desk that I was at. I am now in a fuckign OFFICE with 2 other people!!!! I am the SAME situation that I detailed to TS that I said I would DIE if I was in!!!! I am segregated and before though I shared an OPEN-ASS-CUBE with two other people it is WORSE in an office!!! There is no other sound to distract others from YOUR business and being all up in it and because I am no MORE than 5 ft. from the woman (who is like a flighty little grandma type....nice enough) next to me, it will be IMPOSSIBLE for her to NOT hear me if 1. I am conducting business, 2. talking to my husband 3. calling the dr.

I HAVE LESS PRIVACY than I did BEFORE and BEFORE I had virtually NO PRIVACY!!! Being ini this office will do NOTHING be magnify all sounds!!! I can't play no music (I am sure these two white chick, one is young...like 28 or so and grandma) because I am SURE they do not want to hear my "urban" music!!!! And no, I cannot wear headphones all day. I have too much "phone interaction" that I have to have.

So, this morning the NB (New boss or New bitch...take your pick) sends me this "special project" as the e-mail indicated. WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY was it a LIST of fucking people that quit, got terminated, left for school reason,etc. and these micro-crazy people want to know more abotu "why" they left so she wanted ME to callllllllllllllllll alllllllllllllllllllllllll of these fucking people to do exit interviews on them ........

TODAY!!!!!!!!!! WTF?????

I sent her a message to clarify and have since gotten it widdled down to about 35 people, but guess what? She also wants me to ask them TEN QUESTIONS a piece!!!! WTF!!!! Then I ALSO have other people calling me and other things to do. These people apparently think that I can do 10 things at once. I do not operate well in conditions like that. I guess I betta learn though huh. Either that or have NO JOB!!!!

LOL

All I can do is laugh...... I am irritated al-fucking-ready!

frustrated

* I was offered the "lower", JUNIOR position on the team for whom I have been working.

* I am glad to still have a job

*I am LIVID FUCKING ANGRY AND PISSED that my pay was CUT due to this change by $8,000 a year. I was told that this is because the "position" dictates the salary....not the person's experience and that they are "now" (see: since they have had their asses chopped in half by the market conditions, they will be cheaper with people). Soooo basically FUCK my 11 years experience that I have in HR..... (this will make a total of $15,000 that my salary was decreased by since last year at this time....I don't need this shit and am therefore looking for another job..... who can afford to have THAT Much cut out of their salaries???????!!!!)

*Some people I work with(as said by my boss) "may have to take as much as a $20,000 job, so my situation ($8K less)" and apparently the bitch acted like I was going to do a real happy dance????? WTF???

* I was told (by my old boss ...who is a young black chick....try 27 years old) that:

1.I may get to get to a "real" position instead of a "junior" position in this team, but that I (to the new leader) have seemed "unengaged" with the new team, but that in my defense she told the new leader (also a BLACK WOMAN who is in her late 40's) that she has seen that in alot of other people who have been displaced and in "temporary" roles and given the uncertainty of our jobs that seeming "unengaged" was not atypical. (well la-di-fucking-da..... ya THINK???? Why would I be "completely engaged" into a job that I didn't know if I had a SOLID chance of staying at???? There was no way I was going to go in like gangbusters and put alllll my sweat equity into something that I MIGHT have been leaving!!! I am like has this bitch (the new boss) ever been through this shit or have a shred of understanding of all of the EMOTIONAL changes and shit that a person goes through at a time like this????? A-fucking-parently NOT!!!

2. I was told that apparently I have been having too many "converstations" with my old team members (2 of them that were still right around the corner from where I sit) and that it's "noticeable".... Well, again.... I needed someone to talk to other than the dry ass people on this team (who I have NO relationshipt with because they just are..... weird...at least the ones I sit near) and so that's a problem apparently, too.)

3.I can "make or break it" meaning, that this position has the "potential" to turn-into a "real position" and not stay a "Jr." one but they want to see that I can "step up" and really get involved because that hasn't been seen as of yet.

4. The new boss apparently saw fit to tell my old boss about a situation that , by all accounts, was simply a LACK OF COMMUNICATION from this *new* leader/team about when some things needed to be entered into the computer by so that some reports could be run. Because of the fact that they have basically not GIVEN me anything except for bullshit-ass BUSY work to do.... and no timeframe was given, I just kept plugging away as I had time between doing time sensitive reports which have to be done within 48-hrs of me receiving them AND helping the chick that I sit next to, who is always sending out emails saying "can someone help me today.... I am over my 40 hrs" (since they are not allowing o.t. since this crackdown). It was a simple misunderstanding, but this bitch WOMAN decided to for SOME fucking reason tell my OLD boss about it even AFTER she and I had talked about it. That tells me that she is petty. That kinda of bullshit burns me up....it wasn't the 10th time that had happened and I had NOT been in the team long enough to know about typical deadlines,etc. and it ESPECIALLY pisses me of since she's BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

So......how do you think my attitude is?

I just need to find another job and I THANK GOD that I have one that pays more than unemployment while I do so! the only thing that makes me hesistant is that this company has alot of good training/continuing training for it's employees that I feel I could benefit from. But I feel like I don't have TIME for all that. Having $8,000 cut from my salary is literally CRITICAL to me living the way that I have. I BARELY had any money left over for shit BEFORE (since I had already taken a $7,000 cut in salary!!!!) I can't stay here for 6 months...or a year to "see" if I can move up and get a better salary! I need that money NOW. PERIOD.

So..... the search begins...again..... with a shit-lovin' smile on my face every.day I am up in there.

*I feel completely down right now and unmotivated.

Why.......

….does my hair grow faster now than when it was long?
….do I feel sad because I don’t know if I will ever have another child?
….does this overweight, black, pregnant chick at work look a HOT ASS MESS annnnnnnnnnnnnd why did I see her the other day with a sleeveless shirt on and she had HAIR UNDER HER ARMS????????????????? This is an educated black woman and she is walking around looking like “boom-shaka” !!!!
….am I gonna tell her she need to CUT that pit-hair the NEXT time she has it exposed!!!!!
….has Boss Diva completely alienated herself from the people under her because she obviously doesn’t know how to handle situations like this?
….do cars seem to go slower, side-by –side when you want to get around them????
….do you become the parent to your parents at a certain point in your life?
….do I have to put perm on my hair (the short faded part)every other week just to keep ME from looking like “bushwick”???? **sigh**
….is unemployment too high here in Michigan??
….couldn’t I have won that $314 MILLLLLLION dollars ??
....are people grudge-holding, spiteful and vengeful ?? One day they will wake up alone and angry at themselves…or just die that way….miserable…..
….didn’t I travel more when I was younger?
….didn't I know THEN what I know NOW (inside joke with DIVA…LOL)
…. Do I have to go to this stupid meeting in an hour and I don’t even KNOW if I am about to be booted from this dept.
….do I haaaaaaaaaaaaaate change?
….people with HORRID breath want to get ALL .IN. YOUR. FACE?????
….at work, do I feel everyone know’s some “secret” that I am not being told nowadays?
….do people like assholes?
….do I wonder what it’s like on the “other side” (i.e. death)?
….does dirt seem to gravitate towards my black car?
….why do I write on this thing cause I swear no one reads it…..

not again

well... as my worst fears suspected, the meeting was to be worse than I expected. **sigh**

basically, in reading my previous posts you know that my position as a Recruiter has ben "temporarily" paused for lack of a better word due to some changes that have gone on in the industry that I work in. All of the recruiters were placed elsewhere in the company in an effort not to layoff people until the market comes back.

Well, apparently the senior "leadership" (and I use that term VERY frickin loosely), has decided that a change needs to be made and that those who were displaced cannot stay in limbo forever.

Now, I, who had gone to another part of HR was told that basically if you decide to stay in this "new" position that your salary will be adjusted accordingly. That was cool because in talking with the director of this group (who is a 47-50'ish) faily cool black woman, I would be taking on a role like the others in that group and I KNOW (because I have access to folks salaries) that they made MORE than what I was making! So, if I decided to say COOOOOOOL!!!! :-)

Well, on Wednesday I was now told that they do NOT HAVE A PERMANENT POSITION WHERE I CURRENTLY AM and that "we are trying to identify other positions in the company...... here are two positions that were relatively-close in salary".

that shit hit me like a ton of bricks. I never thought that I would have to go ELSEWHERE in the company and that it would be out of HR, out of what I have done for a majority of my adult life (the last 12 years)!

Fear immediately set ina dn I felt a twinge of anguish shoot up my back and into my stomach as I waited for the next words..... "One position is in _____ and the salary is something like ______"...... also "there is another position that is working with _____ and the salary is ____ PLUS commission". WTF?????

I can't work a commissiony/sale-sy position!!!! HELL NO!!!And to top it off the BASE is $15,0000 LESS than what I make right NOW!!!! I cannot AFFORD a $15,000 drop in salary! And the other position ranges from $15,000-20,000 LESS than what I make now! How in the FUCK do they think this is comparable! Why was I told (again) something that was reneged on???????I am beginning to not believe all of the HYPE that was infused into my and every other new employee's brains. It all seems like a farce to me at this point

I was numb. Too numb to cry, too numb to do anything but keep chewing my gum and keep looking forward.....just keep looking forward..... keep looking ....

As I left the meeting my co-worker that I used to sit next to , had a meeting with my boss and went in to have his head chopped. Immediately after him, our other co-worker went into have her head chopped. I went to go to the bathroom and saw the two of them in the hall. My boy (who is black and is the ex-brother-in-law of one of my good friends) looked at me with the shock of someone who had seen a dead body laying next to him or something and was like "We need to talk...". I said "no we don;t". He said "We need to talk". I said "No we don't". He said "didn't you just have a meting with Boss Diva?" ...."yup"...... "well....we need to talk". I said "no we need to PRAY. That stopped him and me and he just nodded and we both half laughed and said "yeah.... you are right". I was beginning to unravel. This felt like what I JUST.FRICKIN.WENT.THROUGH not 8 months ago1 I went back to my desk. It was now 4:40. I had several things to do before I left and I was not sure if I was going to make it because I could feel the tears coming.....

I went and got my son and went home. I am so glad my mom is here still because I do not think I could've made it that night alone. My husband is working VERY long hours because he is entrenched in contract negotiations for the UAW, so I KNEW he COULD NOT be home to make me feel better. I pretty much cried all night. I couldn't sleep and am still scared. It is good that if I have to, I will probably have something, which is better than nothing. I will definitely be looking though.

My girls DIVA and TOO SERIOUS immediately started to help me look for new positions. I love them and am blessed to have them :-)I am trying to have faith , but it is hard because I know that I have to just get out there and find something and that ain't easy. Michigan's economy is bad. But I guess if I just let it go, God will make a way.... he always does. I am just scared....again.......

So say a prayer for ya girl.... I am trying not to worry and to just let go and let God.... I really am....

Positioning

I think I wrote about all the changes at my job.....if you didn't read it, basically because there are alot of changes going on in the market that we are in, the decision was reached that NO recruiters (that's me)were needed becaused there was NO recruiting going on.

So, since August 1 or so, I have been in this "other" department in HR...the Employee Relations dept (the dept that deals with write-ups, disciplines, counselings, training....e.e. all the fucked up problems). But since I have been here alllllllllllllllllllllll I have been doing is bullshit ass "clerical/admin" work! Basically DATA entry! Now.... because this position is supposed to be "temporary" until the market comes back (and who knows when that will be), I am not an official part of this team.

So, I have not been doing the function of a "real" employee relations specialist. Cool... whatever.... but not really. I am tired of data entry. Sooooo today I get a request from my "recruiting" leader to "meet today at 4:00-4:30 to discuss the Recruiting Team updates".

So, I am thinking that since this was a "team" update that the "team" is on the invite list. nope. I call my girl who is on our "recruiting team" and she has no idea what I am talking about. WTF????

So, I am assuming that my leaded, Boss Diva, is about to tell me that they will NOT be bringing my position back and that I need to make a decision to stay in this NEW position PERMANENTLY or else. I am not happy about this. My husband thinks this is good because if I am made to be a "real" employee relations specialist it SHOULD mean more money because that position pays higher than most recruiters. Here's the problem though..... this company has shut DOWN excess spending and I have a feeling that they will be trying to NOT increase my pay and nickel and dime me and if I ACCEPT IT, I will NEVER get to the salary level that my husband is so "anticipatorily excited" about. Because once you accept LESS.... they know you can and WILL take LESS!

My meeting isn't until 4:00 and it sooooo pisses me off that she makes this shit for LATE in the dayum day! If you got shitty news tell me NOW! But the kicker is ....I am not sure if I even WANT to stay in this dept..... roles are so specific and polarized in this company and I hate not having a more "generalist" type of role. It makes me wanna start looking for a new job that PAYS me what I NEED to get paid! I feel like I am constantly getting the SHAFT when it comes to the $$$$ !!

We got (after management going back and fuckin forth FOREVER abotu whether or not to GIVE us one) our bonus's. Now..... when I was hired, it was said "Robyn we can;t get you to the salary you want (about $10K more than what I make and used to make), but with bonus I am sure we can. But what did management do? Cut EVERYBODY's BONUS! How about my AFTER taxes bonus was LESS than $1,000! Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what you are saying...... be happy you got anything. And I am. But it's the principal of it all. When all of recruiting was displaced, we were told BY THE RECRUITING DIRECTOR that our bonus's would NOT be affected! And they reneged!!!!!

Oh well... I am through bitching for now...... I will let ya'll know what happened........

So.... my mom is here and me and my husband haven;t been anywhere ***dead look**

As much as we complain about NOT having a babsitter, we just OUGHTTA be going somewhere! But it is just nice to be able to SIT ON MY ASS and not have to worry about the little one! Sometimes, that is just as nice.

So, we go over to her long time friend's house and her friend is moving to California to be closer to HER son and his wife and daughter! So, you know me.... I was like "you need to buy THIS condo and move here!". Her friend agreed and chimed RIGHT.IN. on the "you need to move closer to your daughter...especially since you passed out last week!" bandwagon.

Her friend's condo is like 10 minutes or less in the SAME suburb that I live in and is a ranch style condo with plenty of space and a big ass basement. Perfect.

Now, I know that there are a couple things to take care of ....ya know.... getting a DIVORCE from the jackass she is "technically" married to, but has been seperated from (thank GOD for small miracles) from since sometime last year, getting the condo sold and then pakcking and moving. I am really turning this over to God because she NEEDS to be here. She really does. That place she has is a money pit and she keeps having to sink $$ into it. She is on a fixed income and MY budget is stressed as is (see: I can't really help you out cause I am using ALL my lil $$ to keep MY family afloat). That may sound bad, but it's simply the reality. I could help with incidental, occasional things, but I can't subsidize her monthly income and because she has all these medications and shit (she will be 73 this year) and because Medicare is not great on the perscriptions, she be needing money to supplement.

Also, shit is jsut expensive in Florida where she lives! I hate that she is on a fixed income and I am not in the financial position to just be Daughter-Money-Bags....so... I feel that the next BEST thing is to have her be here....in her own place (you know she is independent and besides she SMOKES which is a big HELL-FUCK-NAW in my crib....) and she will have more cash to enjoy her life AND be closer to me!

YEA! We all win!!! :-) Will keep ya posted......

baby love

So, my niece told the family that she is pregnant abotu two weeks ago and I am very happy for her! She is 25, got married last year to the guy she's been "whatevering" with, since she was 14. The family loves him and he really is a great guy! She is a colleg grad and is going back to grad school. Though with this announcement, she may delay going back a lil.

The family got together to celebrate this and her birthday which was Aug. 15. She told me that the pregnancy was planned and I , for one, was shocked ! She and I have alllllways joked around about who "would be next" and I was always like uh.... I have one... YOU are next! And she would be like "naw....I got about 4-5 years...naw....". But look what done happened! LOL She said that she stopped taking her "birth control" and the next month VOILA! She was pregnant!

So, she calles me yesterday and I didn;t get the phone and she then texts me the following:

All I have to say is....not one, but TWO BABIES


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????? this heffa is having twins!!! LOL I was cracking up when I heard THIS!!! WOW! Twins!!!!!! I cannot believe it!!! :-) So ya KNOW the girl is scared! But she will have plenty of help, so she will be aw-ight :-)

We will love them babies and my little one will have two new cousins to play with and spoil.

Good times :-)

ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY!!!

count

So, I am sitting here on Sunday morning...awake at 6:15 am...actually I have been awake since about 5:15.... I can't sleep.

My mother is here visiting from Florida and yesterday, she almost died. No, I am serious. My mother is diabetic and went into a diabetic insulin shock because she had taken her medicine at 7:30 anad had not had ANYTHING to eat (which I didn't know), and by 9:30 she started to feel like she needed to eat something.

I have seen that look before. I had a friend who was diabetic and because he too had a habit of giving himself a SHOT and not eating properly,every once in a while he would get what I call "the diabetic look". I think she had a slower reaction than he did because her insulin is in pill-form. The look she had was distinct. It is a mixture of "I really don't feel well, I am needing something IMMEDIATELY and I need it QUICK becuase I have waited to long". So, when I was sitting here trying to make breakfast, I saw the look when she said "i think I need to eat something". I said " you want some orange juice?" (because orange juice gets sugar into the bloodstream quickly and because I knew that that's why my friend used to drink when he took his insulin to balance out the chemical reaction that was going on in his body).

She said yes. I was sitting down and got up and began to get it for her. My 3-yr old was running aaround like he usually does and my husband (whose back was hurting) was upstairs laying down with a heating pad on his back. I gave her the o.j. and she drank some and said "put some sugar in it". I was in denial but a twinge of pain shot up into my heart because what that request meant was I am feeling bad QUICKLY and I need MORE sugar to get into my system FASTER . By this time, she was sweating (this too is an effect of your blood sugar dropping too low). I was then getting scared but was trying to ignore the panic I was beginning to really feel. She drank some of the o.j./sugar mix and was looking even sweatier. I said "do you want to lie down" and she said yes. I said "do you feel like you can get up?" She said "yeah, but I might just stay right here". I said "o.k.". About a minute more went by. I busied myself in the kitchen starting to take the frying pan out to begin making breakfast, to stave my mind from the thought that I was thinking "please sugar, get in her system...please sugar get in her system" , while praying that she would not get worse. I I put the pan on the stove and turned on the eye. I was talking to her and looking at her to see if she was alright and she started shaking and convulsing and as I ran over to her shouting "Mama!" she passed out. I began screaming for my husband and he came rushing down the stairs with the heating pad still strapped to his back.

She was unconscious and unresponsive with her eyes open, for about 30 seconds and I thought she was going to die. I was shouting to her and she was clammy and hot. I swear it was the longest 30 seconds of my life. She slowly began to come to and get her faculties..... I was already on the phone with 911 before she came to. She finally after what seemed like an ETERNITY (but was only seconds)began to come to. When she was kinda coming to she was moaning in a way that is still haunting to me. She woke up and heard me on the phone and was like "what are you doing?" (because she heard me giving them info about her on the phone). I said " I am calling 911 because you passed out and went into Insulin Shock !!". I said, "you passed out!". She said "No, I didn't". Me and my husband said "YES YOU DID".(she has no memory after drinking the sugar/o.j. concoction to the point where she said "what are you doing" as I was on the phone). My husband put my son upstairs and the paramedics were already here. The Fire Truck AND the EMS came. Fortunately, we have a fire house on the VERY NEXT street next to ours so they were here quickly. Literally by the time they got here she was awake and alert. Her blood sugar, apparently rising.

I was about to fall apart. I was trying not to cry because I didn't want her to see me cry and she knows that I am not real good in high stress situations because I am a worier. As a matter of fact, she USUALLY won't tell me if she needs to have a test or something if it seems "suspicisous" by her dr's because she knows how I worry. My mother is the only thing I have , and yet she refuses to move back to Michigan from Florida. She's gotten used to having "no snow" ans simply doesn't want to live here. And I cannot uproot me and my husbands' careers to move there. That's unrealistic. So, I have deaded the converstaion because it's always at a stalemate with her. But now.... after this..... We will have a talk before she leaves, just me and her.

I am her only child and she is my only parent (my father died 13 years ago...as well, all of my grandparents are dead too). Her side of the family has always been small,so there are no brother's & sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles,etc. ...I am it. But she is stubborrn. I am going to try to persuade her to come back here. She is 72 years old and does everything that you or I can do, but she has a few medical issues...nothing acutely life threatening (diabetes, high blood pressure, glaucoma) but things that if something like this were to go awry again, I would not be able to do SHIT to get to her within 6-12 hours! She does have an old ass cousin (yes I said it) who is OLDER and half-feeble, that is down there, and a half-dependable girlfriend she made down there but that sooooo does not make me feel better. My mother is more of a loner....never been the partying type, more of the shy. reserved, stay at home type, hence her not having made more than 2 real friends (one of them a cousin she reconncected with) since she's been down there (excluding men she dated and the fool she married since she's been down there). She blamed this "incident" on the fact that her dr. had given her a different medicine. Whatever. You need to be closer. My mother is VERY independent and VERRRRRRY obstinate. Truth is .... I can't make her move. As a matter of fact... I had ALREADY been trying to get her to move because shit it TOO expensive.

Anyway.... the paramedics tested her blood sugar and it was 141 (a little high for a "regular" blood sugar, but since she had basically a "shot" of sugar..... it was expected. A normal blod sugar is typically between 70-120). But I think "what if I had not suggested the orange juice? What if I had not HAD orange juice" (the only reason I had it was because I had been SICK a couple weeks ago and had it left over....we do not drink orange juice), what if I had been upstairs alseep and my hisband was just lying there and it was just her and my son???? She didn't make enough noise that I woulda heard her in my OWN HOUSE!

But that wasn't the reality. God had me right where I was supposed to be and had me become more aware of my blessings. My mother is fine and we actually went out and went shopping yesterday afternoon.

So , on this Sunday, the day before my 37th birthday, I count my blessings. count, count, count.

Where is your life going and who is going with you?

So, I have been sitting her contemplating while I am SICK AS HELL with a frickin SUMMER HEAD COLD (can you say MAD???)about things that shape our lives and this documentary called "the Secret" not to long ago.

The Secret was basically to me saying that you have what you ask for and want to get and attract into your life. It touches on the religious and things that many of us were told as youngsters "jsut ask Gord (the universe) for it and believe it, and it will be done", "thank the universe (God) for it and believe that it is already done".

It is interesting because one thing that was said was that we have EXACTLY what we have attracted, into our our lives. I find that perplexing and kinda believe it in the whole realm of "karma". In that vein, I want to know what i did to deserve some of the treatment I am getting right now? (good and bad) I sit and think, what did I do to deserve the treatment I am getting by people in my life (good and bad). Can I change it by simply believing that I want something different? Maybe I don't have enough faith, because it sometimes seems far fetched. I loose faith in things that I thought were steadfast more and more everyday, because it seems as if in the end, like my mama said, you can only count on YOU.

So, what does it profit you to care about people, have friends,etc. They will all dissapoint you in the end, right? Or is your dissapointment a reflection of you putting too many eggs in their basket? I have dichotomous feelings about it. After all, I do believe that you can never know the greatest love, friendship,etc. without taking the greatest risk. But apparently, everyone doesn't believe in the ideals that I do. Things that were here today can be gone tomorrow.

There are cards that have been dealt to me that I do not feel have been fair and it bothers me to no end. But I also know that "what you focus on, you find", so fuck it and all that came with it because if it means me no good, it is time for it to go. And in keeping with this "secret", and wanting my life to go to different places, I guess it was for the best. After all, everyhing happens for a reason or a season, and I guess this season is over.

I want to be happier and less stressed. Truly.... and in that desire, I feel the real secret of happiness lies.

Can someone tell me

When it became a sin for you and your husband (or live-in boyfriend) to know where the other is or what plans the other has??? I meant to post about this long ago, but forgot, and we were talking abotu this at work again the other day, so I felt I needed to get this out.

I am of the notion that it is simply courteous to let your partner (ESPECIALLY if you are married) , know where you are/what plans you have. Now, I know there are some people (men and women) who disagree and do not like to be “questioned” as to their whereabouts.

I say, hell no. TBut more over...that would NEVER fly with me. #1, I have a kid and if something happens, wouldn’t you feel like crap if you found out that something happened to your child WAAAY late because all you let your spouse know was “I’m out” and was nowhere to be found. But even if I DIDN'T have a kid, it's just courtesy because you are NO LONGER living alone and no longer just out for self. If you are living together (married or not) it IS a partnership, not a "do as I want when I want to" scenario. Or at least to me it should not be.

Some people feel it’s confining. To them, I say “well you need to live by your FUCKING self!” Having your significant other/spouse/partner know where you are to ME should be as natural as breathing and should NOT be that difficult! My boss is one ‘nem people. She is not married, nor does she live with her of 8+ year boyfriend. She said she HAAATES is when he asks her “where is she going?”. I’m like “WHY?” and she’s like “Because I am grown and I don’t need to answer to anyone and I don’t ask HIM where he is going! So, why should he ask ME”. I’m like, the only reason you DON’T ask is because you don’t WANT him to!!! And believe me folks, my boss (though she’s a young as hell black chick) is a REAL.OLD.SOUL. and is verrrry goody-goody (meaning, she pretty much probably wouldn’t step on a fly!), so I can almost BET MONEY on the fact that she ain’t cheating or nothing (for those of ya’ll that thought that). She just has a real problem with feeling like she NEEDS to and is EXPECTED to tell someone her whereabouts. I’m thinking, well sista….. you gon have a haaaaaaard way to go. Or maybe not…maybe ya’ll will just both be like “I’ll see ya when I see ya”. But that sounds like a roommate and not a MATE to me.

Being courteous enough to tell someone “hey, I’m going to the library today, I’ll be back in a few hours" or whatever should NOT be that taxing..... I'm just saying ya'll. What happened to respect?????