S.I.L. #2

UPPPPPPDATE

Now, what you are about to read is my BEST, SWEETEST, BOWING DOWN TO-KEEP-THA-FUCKIN-PEACE LETTER EVER SENT BY ME. This is not normal..... I feel bad for the girl.

So she sends me a text this morning which says: "So have you heard the latest?"{Me thinking: Ohhhh, it's on and poppin NAH!!!!!} and below is my response to her text message.

I ain't even got no words for this so I'm just gon let it roll as is. You all make ya comments! I am LITERALLY LMBAO at this shit.

IF you missed S.I.L. #1, click HERE

Carry on!!

WOOOO HOO! LOL


Me
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From: {Robyn}
To: {ann@hotmail.com}
Subject: Party
Date: Wed, 18 Oct 2006 11:22:00 -0400


Hey Ann!



I got your text this morning! And yes, I have heard the latest about going to L.V., and actually I think that it’s a GREAT idea! Jane ( my m.i.l.) said that Jay has never been, I know I’ve never been (my hubby has) and it something different! I am not a gambler, but I have heard from others that there are sooooooooo many things to do out there that you do NOT have to be a gambler to have a blast! I know that you really wanted to have a surprise b-day party and maybe we can have a “surprise” type of event out there! Like , maybe we don’t have to tell him that ALL the people are coming and have them showing up be a good surprise! (just a thought)


This personally would be good as well for us, because one thing that (my husband) brought up is that because we would be the ONLY ones who have to travel to GET to Atlanta, we would not be able to contribute anything towards a party. Our plane fare for me , him and Dylan ALONE is moving along the lines of $850-950 range. We simply don’t have money like that! LOL (that’s actually why we’re not traveling ANYWHERE this holiday season….. it’s just too expensive.) So, unfortunately, if the party stays in Atlanta, (my hubby) said that it would have to be good enough that we were able to come simply because of the money that is being expended and the money that would need to be spent once we get down there.


Flights to L.V. on the other hand tend to be VERY cheap and if me, you, Jay, my hubby and the kids got a suite, the “smokers” could have a suite and we could all have a great time.


Also, (my hubby) didn’t really think that Jay would really enjoy the D& B that much for his birthday. But this is YOUR husband, not his, so if you feel really strongly about it, you should plan your party accordingly if you know that he will like it better. I told him you said you thought he would, but he thought that he would like a nice dinner with family/friends, etc. better just because D & B is so informal and more for a younger person to celebrate a birthday.


But gimme your thoughts and hopefully we can all have a blast next year!


Robyn

**************

(that was the BEST I could do ya'll to be as NICE as I could.....)


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From: Ann {mailto:ann@hotmail.com}
Sent: Wednesday, October 18, 2006 4:08 PM
To: Robyn(00900)
Subject: RE: Party




Jay would love D & B for his birthday because he loves going and has told me it would be a great place for a party. I think Las Vegas is a great idea to but the reason I am pissed off is because I'm the last to hear about this and I'm over here planning this big ass surprise party because Jay said that he never had one beofre and nobody has even bothered to ask me my opinion on the man that I have been married to for the last 11 years. Everyone knew that I wanted to plan a surprise so I think that I should have been notified before Jay therefore I could decied what aspect to keep a suprise. Because he is my husband. And I know for a fact that Las Vegas is not the most exciting place to take Jay because he told me last night that "It's not something he's ever really wanted to do, but it could be fun." I think my personal touch surprise party that I had planned for my husband would more suit him but what do I know. And since I would need help paying for this anyway, it appears that my paln is no longer an option so Las Vegas it is. I'm sure we will have fun. Don't get me wrong, I do think Las Vegas would be great. It's some place I have always wanted to go but I think it should have come through me since evrybody knew that I wanted to plan a special surprise for my husband.



Ann

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I wanna go off on her so bad, but this is SO. FUCKING . COMICAL because it's so fucking UNBELIEVEABLE, I can't even BREATHE!!!!!

WAAAAAAH HAAAAA!!!!!!!

S.I.L.

Check this out ya’ll….. my brother-in-law just turned 39 this year. Well, his wife Ann,my sister-in-law, wanted to have a bigggggggg shindig THIS year because “she wanted to”, fuck what made sense seeing as though the landmark b-day was NEXT year and it would simply PROBABLY make sense to wait. She is pushy like that. I like her, but her pushiness CAN be overbearing. Not only is she pushy, she is like that ALL THE TIME.

I can’t stress enough that I DO like her (in her moments of being non-pushy) but she can be a REAL trip. So get this: She calls me last week, and when I say she calls me, she called me one evening (I didn’t even see that she called until the NEXT day when I picked up my cell to make a call) and by then she had called TWO MORE times. So, I am thinking “WTF does she want???? “ But I forget….. that is how she ALWAYS is!!!! If you do NOT call this bitch back she will call you 25- cazillion times, each time sounding increasingly irritated. Trust me, I know……

So I call this hoe back on my way HOME and I’m like “ Hey Ann, what’s up?” She proceeds to lay out this “plan” that she has for her husband’s SURPRISE birthday party that she wants to plan. For a minute ya’ll I was totally discombobulated because I was thinking “wait…. His birthday just passed A.COUPLE.OF.FUCKIN.WEEKS.AGO, so”……. and then it clicked and I went “Are you talking about NEXT YEAR for his 40th b-day???????!!!!!”

She goes “Yeah…. I was thinking that we could have a party at Dave N Busters and have his friends, and the family ...... Jane (my mother-in-law, aka his and my husband’s mom) said that I could have it at the clubouse in the complex but I don’t want to have to clean up and then if we run out of pop somebody has to run to the store or if we run outta ice.....so I think it would be easier if we just had it at D & B......”


SCREEEEEEEEECH.

First of all: this is a fucking “fun palace” type of place and is NOT the place that I think MOST people would want to spend their 40th birthday. Maybe I am too high post or bougie or WHATEVER, but I would be GAT DAYUMED if my spouse planned a Milestone Birthday at a D & B, if my guests would even SEE me, cause I’d be SO MAD that THAT is what he planned, that I would be ALL.WRONG.

Second: I asked her “ Is that the kinda place that you think that Jay would WANT to have a 40th party at???” I’m trying to understand are you doing this for YOUR OWN SELFISH reasons or because you want to have a party that your HUSBAND would like?????? Sounds like the damn former instead of the latter, to me !!!

So, she swears up and down about 20 more times that “yes, I really think he would like it….. I really do” , and then we get to the meat of the REAL reason she is calling me:

“well, I was wanting to have it for his friends and family but I was wondering if you and (my husband) would be able to help out with the cost…. I mean….anything you could do would be appreciated …..because I calculated that because they have a buffet and the cheaper buffet is $14.50 per person plus $1.95 per person for unlimited water, tea anc soda the total would be about $800…….waa waaa waaa waaa waa waaa”.

I blacked out after that. WHAT BITCH?????????? Are you crazy?????????????? $800.00 DOLLARS?????????????? This is YOUR FUCKING PARTY FOR YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!! I am a GOTDAMN GUEST!!! YOU DO NOT ASSSSSK GUESTS to come outta THEIR money to ATTEND a party!!!! And did you STOP to think that unless we DRIVE down there (which is DAMN outta the question unless we have at LEAST a week to spend cause that's TOO LONG of a drive , WITH A 2 year old, 12 hours to be exact, to turn RIGHT back around on the road......me NOR my husband are fans of driving long idstances either) it will cost (because my son is over 2 years old (and looks every bit of it) between $750 -$900 in AIRFARE ALONNNNNNE just to GET there! Fuck what we WILL inevitably have to SPEND while we are DOWN THERE!!!!!!! You inconsiderate TACKY BITCH!!!! I was floored.

Readership: Do you all see a problem with this as big as Africa?????? How fucking TACKY can you BE!!!!! I said “uh…..well…. I Will have to talk it over with my husband…..uh…… O.K”. I didn’t even know what to say and DIDN’T want to say the WRONG thing and have shit all fucked up between me and her until the END OF TIME.

( Too Serious, I know, I know.... I can hear you now...."fuck that.... HER ass would just have to have been mad at me!" LOL But I didn't just want to go ballistic without digesting that foolishness first and talking with my husband)

So she goes “Oh o.k., good…..cause I was wanting to get started on the planning and I intend on asking Jane and Mary and Ken (aunt and uncle of my husband and his brother) and Kelly ( my b.i.l. and husband’s first cousin……..” . And I am sitting here thinking , you stankin selfish BITCH!!!! You are calling NOT because you are excited to plan this party , but you want to figure out (based on who you can get to fund YOUR SHIT…..can I EMPHASIZE the words “YOUR SHIT” so you can figure out how much money you DO NOT HAVE to save!!!) .

Also, my thing is this too: Bitch if you can’t SAVE $800 in 11MONTHS (his birthday was literally a month ago) then YOU need to be getting ANOTHER JOB!!!

So, I tell my husband and he agrees and was like “if my brother knew what she was doing (i.e. asking for donations for his party) he would be mad as HELL”. He agreed that it was inconsiderate to ask us of ALL THE people because EVERYBODY ELSE (literally) that would be coming LIVES IN ATLANTA ALREADY!!!!! We are the ONLY ones who have to travel!!! But that is just how she is….. she can be so nice and thoughtful, but she can be QUITE inconsiderate.

This all happened on Monday. So, I call Jane (my m.i.l.) and asked her has Ann called her about this and ran down the situation. She said NO. My m.i.l (who is NO JOKE and pulls NO punches) went through the ROOF when I told her the details ! She was pissed about it and cited the SAME problems with the shit that we had (i..e we already have to spend a fortune to GET THERE, the tackiness factor, etc.). So we get off the phone and the last thing I heard was <>i“Oh, when HER ASS calls ME, we gon straighten this shit OUT cause she ALWAYS does that crap to me….. (i.e. calling her asking her for money for HER SON, my m.i.l’s grandson, saying “lil jay needs this, lil jay needs that).”

Oh and please believe that though they do not live an extravagant life, they live in a very nice suburb and she only works 3-days a week as a medical tech/surgical assistant because she “wanted to stay home with “ her son while he was young. Well,guess what...... he’s now 6, in school FULL-TIME, so bitch if YOU WANT TO HAVE YO HUSBAND A PARTY, looks like you need to be going to work FIVE days a fucking week and not three! PUH-FUCKING-LEASE!! I would NEVER call people asking for MONEY for something for MY husband that I WANT to do!!!!

********** UPDATE*************

I just talked to my m.i.l. and she was like “ I couldn’t even sleep last night I was so pissed off…..but I have come up with an idea…..we should all go to Las Vegas for his birthday….. he’s never been, and when I told him he sounded excited…………"


SCREEEEEEECH!!!

You told him? Oh lawd……….. Ann is going to be PISSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDoff to the highest of pisstivity when she finds out that our mi.l. has RE-PLANNED what to do for his birthday , AND.TOLD.HIM. Also, if it goes down this way there WILL BE NO SURPRISE (like Ann had wanted).


OOOOH and WEE!!!!! She is going to hit the CEILING! But I think it’s a GREAT idea! If HE wants to do it and thinks it’s a good idea, then YOU (Ann) can plan a “SURPRISE” portion out there!!! But I understand..... NOW…..no friends (for the most part) , some family, and NO coworkers will be able to come (which was what Ann had wanted). And you she will have to fund her OWN SHIT! She AIN'T gon like that shit cause that's the VERY thing she was trying sooooooo hard to avoid!!!! Serves her right.....

And I dare Ann to say something to me about “why did you tell Jane????!” Because my thing will be, “well, I thought you woulda already told/panhandled her already, so I didn’t think I was telling her anything she didn’t ALREADY know!!”


Ooooooooooooooooh Ann is going to be pissed. **shrug** And MY AZZ ain’t answerin her phone calls either…… cause I don’t EVEN wanna hear it………

LOL

Will keep ya’ll posted! LOL

Grinding

Hey ya’ll, how have ya been? I have been busier’n a 2-legged dawg trying to run to California! I am soooooo glad it’s Friday. Well, I have had a lot of time to think in between doing work (which ya know sometimes just marinating on stuff while you are working….you know, in between “work thoughts” , is all that gets ya through the day!). I was pondering on where I was 10 years ago.

Hmm…… I was po’ and broke with a degree that meant didly, wanting to move up in the work world, but having no idea where I was going. I was just beginning to enter the HR arena though I had no formal training. I was living in “da hood” of Detroit in a renovated apartment building that back in the hey day must’ve been a fancy hotel (it was a two bedroom place with only a living room , bathroom and kitchen.) because NEITHER bedroom had closets. My main bedroom was HUUUUUUUGE and the other room was pretty standard, but it was mine and I was gad to have a place that I was the first person to live in it since it was renovated. My parking was secured (there was a gate enclosure and you had to have a garage-door-opener-like remote to get in). But I wanted more……

I had (have) champagne taste on a beer budget. I like nice things just by virtue of being around a woman who like nice things (my mother). Though unlike my mother, I loved electronics, gadgets,etc. and often justified my purchases because I felt like “I am grown so I am going to buy it!!” (not good I know) I knew I was growing deeper and deeper in debt by the SECOND ,but I felt like “if I can just pay the MINIMUM payment….. I’m, cool….I’ll figure the rest out lata!”

Dumb, dumb, DUMB! And so continued my pattern Spend too much, be broke, and I mean LITERALLY BROKE having like $30 for food and gas money for 2 weeks (this WAS when gas was MUUCH cheaper and I could fill my tank for $10). But when I turned 30 I said “NO MORE!!!” and consolidated my debts and paid off the now GARGANTUAN $22,500 in Credit Card debt that I had amassed! I vowed that by the time I was 34, I would have that shit PAID off and that if I hadn’t found someone to whom I wanted to be betrothed, I would buy MYSELF a house! The month before I turned 34, I paid the last payment on the credit card debt. This was no small feat! I was also a new mother and made preparations to buy my first home! I had accomplished what I set out to accomplish!

I look at the strides that I have made in my career as well. Though, I do not feel as proud in this arena. I have been in a stagnant job for 5 years. My boss is a horrible teacher, though she has the knowledge, she wants to do allllllllllll the big stuff herself. Therefore, there is no place to grow. I have begged and pleaded for her to "show me" and I always HAVE gotten the "brush off"..... o.k.... cool.... SO I kwpt it moving. This job was the first job I have had paying me a REALLY decent wage and I grew VERRRY comfortable in this pay bracket and have become very "settled" in what I have. I know what I can get away with at this job, know the people and am so honed in on my boss's "attitude" swings that I can tell BEFORE she even says "good morning" how she is feeling and thusly what kinda day the HR dept. will have with her.

I have been coddled and pacified by the wonderful perks ( HUGE car allowance, $2k yearly medical reimbursement allowance for all bills not paid by insurance) and I have somewhat become complacent and lazy in my quest for more knowledge. You see, I have been in HR for TEN years……but I can honestly say that my skill level is like someone who has been in HR for 3 and have been a Manager for a year or two……because I have not GROWN hardly AT ALL since I have been here.My boss hordes information, so we long ago settled into the "I won't beg yo ass" and "you don't have to deny me opportunities" pattern. It was easy. I do my job, I go home. But I am tired of this "rut" of complacency that I have grown stuck in. I feel like one of those vines you see entertwined with a fence where the two have been together so long, you can barely trace where all the vines came from.

I now feel that I am ready to make the next leap and start growing again. Those of you who know my story know my boss is a HARD-ON BITCH who gives a DAMN about you OR your life outside of these 4 walls. She is pure evil in my opinion.


Moving along.......

But I am thankful to have a job. Michigan has the SECOND HIGHEST rate of unemployment in the COUNTRY. But that is no longer deterring me. I am getting back out there and since right before Thanksgiving/Christmas is a TERRIBLE time to look for a job, I will begin my search right after the holidays.

I have accomplished much in some arenas, but my career has been pushed to the side and I have stagnated my OWN damn self! And I have not accomplished what I think that I should have at my age. So, though I have accomplished some.... I still have a ways to go. My wheels, old and rusty as they may be are moving, starting to get greased up and starting move down that track again.

Back on the grind……..

Cider Mills

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - POST!!!!

Since I am busier'n'hell this week due to our Open Enrollment occurring this week, I am reposting this post that I did from a year ago around this time....... And this is why I WILL NOT go too my local Cider Mill UNTIL it gets a LITTLE colder..... read on ya'll !!!

My girlfriend and I went to a Cider Mill last weekend. Actually, I had been meaning to post this but just did not have the time and forgot about this. For those of you unfamiliar with Cider Mills, they are very popular in the Midwest around this time of the year. Cider Mills are where fresh apple cider is made. It is pressed and put into jugs to be sold. Cide Mills are only open from late Aug. through the beginning of December. So if you want some cider you have a limited window. The mill that I go to is not that far from my house and is a very popular one. Not only can you get cider there, but you can get fresh warm cinnamon donuts, hot dogs, apple pie, caramel apples and an assortment of other apple-based products. There is also a shallow creek that runs right by the mill, so you can go and sit by the rocks and drink your cider and eat your donuts, etc. with your family. All products are fresh and free of preservatives and are the BOMB! On a cool fall afternoon it’s so nice to go to the Cider Mill, with it’s gorgeous scenery and cozy, relaxed atmosphere.


SCCCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!

Except for:

THE BEES:

*cue the music from a scene in a Star Trek episode where they leave you on the edge of your seat with a cliffhanger---to be continued*

“dun dun dun....DUD-DUH”

THE BEES:

Let me start by saying that I have never been stung by a bee in MY LIFE, but am DEATHLY afraid of them! Anything that I can’t get away from quickly enough that can follow my ass AND hurt me, it to be feared in my eyes!

So, now take that nice vision I gave you above and add “THE BEES-----EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE”

As soon as me & my girl pulled up, I said “aaawwww FUCK! I forgot about them fucking stankin ass BEES!” There are ALLLLLLLLWAYS bees at the Cider Mill. I said “DAMN, don’t these assholes invest in Extermination services????? DAMN! You KNOW that there will be bees because of the sweet smell/taste of the apples!! Why won’t these jackasses get some roach spray or something! Jeeeesh!”


Fear immediately set in. It was probably some foreshadowing……

Sooooo…we get out of the car and immediately I see the bees, flying aroud the lot where we were, near the brook, near EVERY garbage can and DEFINITELY near the entrances to the Cider Mill. I said to myself *hmmm…there must be more of them around now than when I usually make my first trip in October, because it’s hot still and the smell travels/is more intense and draws them nearer in bigger numbers…..*

So, anywho there were two walking paths to take to go up to the cider mill itself. I quickly assessed which one had the LEAST amount of bees buzzing about and told my girl (who had not been to one before) “cool….let’s go this way…less bees”.

So, we get up to the little house-shaped apple-dwelling and go in….so we look around and get in line. As we are in line people are constantly in & out of this place, so there are a few bees INSIDE the screened door looking as if they are trying to get out. I keep it movin up the line tryin’ to get away from them since they are INSIDE (read: where the heck I AM) too!!

So, fast forward, we get our donuts and our cider and since it was still a warm summer day, they had this “cider slush” that they was a new product, and I waqnted to try it (remember it was about 85 degtees on this day)so we got a small one to share. I bought a ½ gallon of cider and she bought a quart.

So, off we go into the parking lot. So, dig if you will a picture: She gets a phone call as we leave and she’s carrying my ½ gallon of cider. She’s in front of me and I’m behind her. I have the cider slush in my left hand, my purse on my left arm ( which is one of those “open at the top with no zipper” small, bucket types of purses that CANNOT go on your shoulder because the strap is too short), and her quart of cider in my right hand. (all this detail is going somewhere….bear with me)

We’re going to the car and this BEE lands RIGHT ON THE TOP OF MY CUP OF SLUSH! OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHHHHIT! I start gently waving my hand with the slush in it, ( and my purse on my arm) around trying to get the bee to go away. It doesn’t work, I wave harder. My girl is on the phone in front of me just a walkin not paying ONE bit of attention to my ass trying to stay cool, but ‘bout to go into a FIT! The bee, persistent little fucker that is was, would NOT GO AWAY! I start flailing my arm (the one with the purse on it and the slush in hand) back and forth trying to get away, all the while bobbing and weaving like I was Laila Ali, trying to get AWAAAAAAY from this damn bee! Shit is threatening to fall out of my purse (remember the purse is open at the top) and I am going fucking CRAZEEEEEEEE !!!! It STIIIIIIIIILL would NOT go away. So, I start backing up, flailing my arms and sprinting backwards, forwards and sideways TRYING to get this damn bee away from me. Now, I knew the little jackass was probably getting irritated because I was swatting at him and shit and he would come back towards me, looking like he was trying to run INTO my face and shit and I was going FUCKIN crazy! My friend was STILL ON the GATDAMN PHONE and was STILL paying me NO attention until I yelled “SAMAAAAAAAANTHAA!!!!!! HEEEEELLLLP!! YAAAAAAHHHHH” as I’m running from the fucking bee! I mean this bee stuck with me for AT LEAST 250 feet! I could NOT get away. And even when my “friend” did turn around she only turned around ¼ of the way in a “what the shit?” kinda way and kept right-the-fuck-on talking and walking as I stood there, twisting my head from side to side (picture how a dog shakes water off of it’s body) so hard that my hair was slapping me in my face! . I KNOW I was looking like a heroin-laced crack head with Turret’s !!! I was going absolutely APE –SHIT! This godamn bee would NOT leave me alone!!! All this time my girl STILL on the phone.

As we approached the car apparently the bee relented…thank God! I did NOT drop my slush and to top it OFF, when I got to the car, I was the one who had to get my keys out and open the door!! I wanted to kill my girl!!!! At that point I wasn’t convinced that the bee had not jumped on my back or something so I’m looking around like I’m a schizo that sees shit crawling on their body or something and trying to make sure his ass wasn’t around before I got in the car. Somehow I shook his ass AND salvaged the crushed, yet, drinkable cup of cider slush. Hallaleujah!

So….moral of the story…don’t go to Cider Mills when it’s hot….or without a pollinators-suit on…..

“Bee” e-z yall ………

Wo out Wednesday.....

I meant to post on this last week. I am mad. Why you ask? Because this CHEAP ASS, STANK ASS, FUNKY ASS company I work for as of this past Monday took all of our parking spots away from us (which is covered parking) to save .005 millicents and NOW has us parking OUTSIDE NEAR THE WATER!!! Why is this a big deal? One, because we have to WALK a country MILE now to get to our parking lot AND we are right near the water. I mean, right near, as in if you walk 20 steps from the parking lot, you could jump in the fucking Detroit River. And it is alllllllllllways (even in the summer) windy as FUCK near the river. Why would this be a problem you ask? Well, numero UNO, when it gets cold and STAYS cold, our cars will be 1. snowed on, 2. locks frozen, 3.mist from the water will freeze into ice on your car…. I could go on.

So, dig this: These jackasses have been trying to pacify our “big three” client and reduce pricing so we could get the contract and effectively keep everyone employed for a minute, right? So we needed to bid on and get a new contract (since we are contracted to them) for the next 5 years, so everyone was on "monetary" pins & needles. Right. So, we got the funky ass contract.

woo hoo.

Have they mentioned giving us a raise (which we have not had in 3 years) or bonus’ (which we have not had in two years)???? Noooooooooooooooooooo. Why? Because our profits are now DIRECTLY up to us. Lemme ‘splain. This company used to bill the client for whatever they needed to bill them for and the client would just pay it, hence we made a profit based on this direct billing, but NOWWWWWWWWW we have a set amount of money (in total) the client is saying that they will pay over this 5 year period , so in essence the LESS we spend of this pot of money, the MORE this funky ass company can make. These cheap ass muthafucka’s have been cutting EVERYTHING and it’s ridiculous!

So, they decided to CUT our covered parking. I am LIVID. First of all, I work in a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE building that just to get OUT of takes between 5-7 minutes (going down the elevator, walking through the building, etc.) and because the parking structure we USED to park in is 3 blocks away (which is significant when it is cold as shit outside…..how many of YA, ’LL would want to WALK in the bitter cold like that for 3 blocks in the winter?????). Well, we USED to get shuttled by shuttle bus literally door to door. I didn’t have to even take an umbrella because I could just run from one door to the bus and vice versa.

Now? I am gonna have to have an umbrella, gloves, hats (I hate hats because I allllways inevitable get ‘hat hair’ ) and I am NOT happy! So, you know I asked could we pay the difference between what the NEW lot costs and the old structure costs if we wanted to stay in the structure. Answer? Sure. The company will contribute $60 to the ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY($180) DOLLAR cost per month, leaving you to pay $120 a month!!! FUCK, THAT’S A FUCKING PAY DECREASE (especially seeing as though we haven’t gotten ANY RAISES since Jesus was a baby) and a BIG ONE at that!!!! I am PISSSSSSED! I do NOT appreciate (and neither do other employees) being pushed out into the elements AND having to walk a country ass mile because the bus that goes to the shuttle does NOT go to this lot! I am livid. And yes, I know that MOST people do NOT have covered parking at their jobs, but they ALSO do not have to walk a COUNTRY ASS MILE to get to the damn parking lot.

Why is this significant? For two reasons. I pick my son up 98% of the time. I am literally FLYING out the door at 5:00 to get him because from the time I leave my DESK it used to take (when we were in the structure) a SOLID 15 minutes, desk to car. No lie. I work a GOOD 30 minutes (in excellent, no hold up, no issue traffic) away from where my son’s day care, which is right near where I live. And let's not talk about accidents or rain, snow,etc. !! That just blows my timeframe COMPLETELY out the water. The daycare closes at 6:00pm and DOES NOT HAVE a “pay if you’re late” policy like most daycares. This is one of the reasons that I was skittish about putting him there because their by-laws say

“You are pemitted to be late no more than 3 times in a 2 month period. If you are late more than this, you will be asked to find alternative child care for your child”.

WTF?????? If you know anything about Detroit, you will know that people act like they lose their damn ability to drive in the oh, let’s see….. rain, snow, sleet, WHATEVER if it’s the first time in a while that any of those conditions appear. Therefore, I COULD be late more than 3 times in a MONTH, even BEFORE this parking change! But we went ahead and put him there because it is at a church and sooooo many people have had great things to say about the program and I REALLY like him being there (he’s been there since July) and I had ascertainied that I could 98% of the time get to him by 6:00pm. My husband (because of his work schedule) CANNOT pick him up except on the scheduled days, which are two a month when I get my hair done! It just isn’t possible, so I HAVE to be the one to get him. But of course all of this was BEFORE this change in my parking. Now, I am ALREADY flying by the seat of my ASS to get to him AS IS. And now in the winter (because I will have no covered parking ) when I get to my car I will have to shovel and scrape ice and AL LTHAT SHIT (i.e. taking more time for me to get the fuck going) which will take what?......MORE TIME…….. has me PISSED! And there is NOTHING I can do about it. So, right nows I am REALLY just bitching to the wind and venting. thanks for listening to me rant ya’ll There are no options except if I had one of those doctors that will write a note for anything…… yeah, you know “the hook up” doctors (of which I know NONE) write me a note saying I can’t walk that distance. So, no haps.

Annnnnnnd, my boss is bitch so she AIN’T gon let me leave early because she will NOT let you flex your schedule (this is the bitch who resents people with kids because she is jealous that they have them because she had 6 miscarriages and has not life except for her disabled stay-at-home husband and her cat and dog).

Sooooooo , basically I am FUCKED and everyday I walk in here, I RESENT everyone I see “riding” on the bus I used to be able to ride on. (it passes by where I have to walk). I know it’s not their faults, but I am still just mad.

So, I get to work looking like I have been in a windstorm bout the head (remember, it is REDICULOUSLY windy because we are on the water) and wo’ out because I have been walking FAST to get INTO the building as fast as possible. Oh, but I am not the only one. There are MANY who have been complaining!

So….. I know there is NO option other than paying the $120 a fuckin month or get another job, but thanks for listening to me vent ya’ll……

I hate this fucking company.


Disgusted, singing out

Sunday recap

Well, here we are on another Monday morning ! This was me and my monkey this past weekend. He is such a nut! I can’t imagine life without this lil boy.


Crazy boy


Flying monkey!


In Mommy’s glasses (o.k., but why can that head almost fit the glasses???? And don't they look like some old school Gazals????LOL)



Now….onto the stuff !!!!


I have to tell you that the Sunday night lineup on ABC has me all in AGAIN! I was a little bit miffed that they took my SHIZNIT --- Grey’s Anatomy---- off on Sunday’s after Desperate Housewives, but I am EQUALLY pleased with what they replaced it with. They replaced it with a show called “Brother’s and Sister’s” and the opening night proved to me that this show will be one to watch. It has all of the classic “drama” that we as Americans, especially in my set of 30-something, young child rearing, folks could want. I can see it will have the family drama, sex, infidelity, sibling rivalry and conflicts, life-stress situations and love. Ooooooooh weeee!!! I can’t wait til next week! LOL This show was pretty damn good if I do say so myself. My only question, is why did the daddy have to die on the FIRST DAMN NIGHT????? He coulda stuck around cause I could see that this will be chock fulla enough stuff WITH HIM there. But I am SURE he’ll be showing up in flashbacks as the show goes on.

But O.K….how about My Shit, “Desperate Housewives” was the SHIT too!! But how about I can’t remember half of what went on in the last episodes of the show before the season ended and I was all confused for a minute last night when it began! LOL I was all in though. I loooooooooooove me some D.H. !!! But they fucked me up because I FORGOT to watch Grey’s Anatomy’s premiere on this past Thursday! DAMMIT!!!! But I will be watching this week

Am I a t.v. addict or what ya’ll ???

FUNKY ASS FRIDAY !!!! (I Love the 80's Pt.3)

WEST END GIRLS- Pet Shop Boys


I am taggin on to Ms. 1969's post on the damn 80's!

This song was my SHIIIIIT !!!!! Tell me ya'll (who are over 30) didn't love this damn song! I could sit there and listen to this on my cassette walkman forever (and I did).

DAMN I am old!!! LOL

Have a great friday ya'll !!!

Blessings from above

What it do people? Yesterday was my Godson's Christening ceremony. It went off without a hitch. He was (as you can see here, with his Mommy da diva and Daddy)



the CUTEST lil vision in white :-) I have never been Godmother to anyone, so I am truly honored and blessed to be a Godmommy :-0 Me and my girl Too Serious are "Co-Godmommies", so we walked in with him. I felt like I was in a scene in Roots where John Amos takes the baby and hols him up to God. And that is EXACTLY what the pastor did, but it went over so much better than it sounds by me telling it(**laugh**). No, really, it was a beautiful ceremony and lookie!

Don't we look cute together????



My child, though he had NOT had any sleep (this was occuring SMACK in the middle of when he usually takes his 2 hour nap, so I was expecting the WORST), but he did very well (considering), though there was one point where the church was joined in prayer arpuond the pulpit and his butt wanna snatch away from his daddy and was all fidgety. I looked at him with "the look" and he quickily slithered back behind his daddy.....yeah, that's what I thought L.B. (lil boy) !! HA!!

Well.....that's all for now folks....I am working like a HEBREW this week, so I prolly won't be posting NATHAN until later this week, so I'll holla!!!

Luck of Lucien.....

Get this ya’ll… this guy that I work with who is young as hell (I think he MIGHT BE 29) just got fired. Whyyyy did he get fired?? This was some of THEE stupidest shit on the planet! This idiot works for a group in our company that does computer investigations (meaning, if your boss suspects that your ass is looking at porn, or any other wrongdoings on your computer, he calls this group and they come, snatch up your computer and proceed to “forensically’ tear that bytch apart). They investigate and make copies of the porn stuff YOU have downloaded or subsequently erased (ya'll know shit is NEVER really gone, right.....well, THESE are the mofo's who can show you better than they can tell ya that that is so). They dig into shit you thought was long erased and go through hard drives. They filter out shit that you thought couldn’t be found. They are the TRUTH and are NOT the ones you want inyo shit. (I wanna work with ‘em! LOL)

So, this guy, what does he do??? He has (not a lot) downloaded porn and pics and about 2,200 Itunes and had copied DVD’s (who cares right???). But this cat was actually STUPID enough , though KNOWING WHO he worked for and with, in a 20 x 20 ROOM, to do this shit. The other 3 people consist of a “green as grass” girl of 22 (fresh outta college) and two older dudes (late 40’s, early 50’s). So, there were two young and two old. One old one is cool...kinda goofy, the girl is new and dumb, One of the older ones, I don’t trust. Why? He’s nosey and he’s too observant. Meaning, if I'm standing by the water cooler and talking to Boonquisha and you come up and comment on whatever we were talking about within 5 seconds of being in earshot of our convo., YO ASS IS TOO FUCKIN NOSEY. And you are bold enough to ask, unprompted by so much as a glance by the co-conversationalists, “Hey….what’chu guys talking about”. Damn muthafucka, get a LIFE! He also has those tendencies that remind me of people who slink and lurk around but don’t say shit about what they “overhear” until the right time and will get YOU fucked up if they are asked the right questions. “Oh, yeah….. I did over hear Robyn saying……”. Yeah O.K…….. I don’t trust HIS ASS at all. Nosey asss.


I just wanna work with them because they get to look at freaky shit all day and it’s legal! LOL So, why would he go and fuck up a gravy ass GOOD PAYING job like that????? Dunno. He came to this place BEFORE he graduated form college with a PROMISE of this job about 3 years ago. He had NO EXPERIENCE, was GREEN AS HELL, but he was also WHITE AS HELL. Meaning, if it had been MY BLACK ASS, DEGREE IN HAND OR NOT, I bet the farm that I would not have been chosen for that position. Nope, I have no proof of that, but working in THIS company long enough, you see what happens and how things go down. I had also heard from my girl who works on another floor with this chick that he was ORDERED to stop going to lunch with, that there was BIG talk that he was fucking ole girl. He was ordered to stop going to lunch with her because “rumors were floating around”, and uh....... he’s quite married. Now, me.... you'd have to get a court injunction to stop me from GOING.TO.LUNCH.WITH.WHOMEVER.THE.FUCK.I WANTED.TO.GO.WITH. Did ya hear me??? I wish a nigga WOULD tell me that I CAN'T have lunch with!!!! PUH-LEASE...... I would be trying to sue dem folks...... But I am digressing....

So, now you have to go home and tell your little young wifey that you got FIRED for what? I'd shoooo'll like to know(cause you’d be a FOOL to tell her that you got fired because you were downloading porn and copying DVD’s! Hell, I wouldn’t!!!)

But what is amazing is that he even slithered his way INTO this job, then fucked it up. He was given this job on silver platter, was TAUGHT everything that he needed to know to do the job and made more than ME, who has 8 years of experience in my field. But , let MY black ass try to get a gig like that and it wouldn’t happen.

So, to be honest, I am NOT sorry that he got fired. I won’t say that I am happy about it (mainly because I don’t wanna put that negative vibe in the universe for it to potentially come back and bite me in the ass), but if it weren’t for THAT……

Ya’ll know the rest……

Carry on….

9/11

Today started off as a slow day…..my ass was draggin and I didn’t want to get up to go to work. So, I get here (15 minutes LATER than my already 15 minute agreed upon start time….i.e. when I was hired and up until the funky ass road commission started doing HEINOUS road construction RIGHT where my son goes to daycare at, my start time was 8:00am, so then I got my stank ass boss to agree to an 8:15 start time, and today I got here at 8:30am). My boss is out so I’m like “cool…..no biggie”. I get in, get to my desk and her watchdog “odie” acts like he has an attitude because I am late!!! What a surprise (said sarcastically). But here’s my question, whyyyyyyyy do YOU care that MY ASS is late???? What does it profit you to tell on me (if you so choose) and why do you have that stank-ass attitude on your face???

So, I go get some coffee and Odie comes and says “Bubble Guts cancelled her trip…..she’s on her way in……”. WHAT IN THE FUCK???? I was like (with allllllllllll the attitude I could muster) “Why?! Cancelled??.....”. I was speechless. I literally come to work with a “lighter”, more “airy feeling when she is NOT going to be here. I can’t stand this woman.

Anyway, my weekend was pretty boring …. Didn’t do much…….and it rained all day on Saturday. That cold rain where you just wanna do nothing but sleep. Even my little one wanted to sleep.

Then yesterday I watched about 5 programs on the 9/11 tragedy. The most moving one was one where this guy just happened to be documenting the “life of a fire fighter” (not sure what the name of the program was……) and on 9/11, he was at the fire house closest to the World Trade. He was IN the buildings with the fire fighters before they crashed, he SAW bodies falling to the cement. One of the fire fighters said that when they went onto the roof of another building nearby, that there were all kinds of body parts on the roof…..hands, feet, legs……

I mean…this is un-IMAGINABLE to me……he documented being in the first tower when the second tower crashed and it went dark with ash, and debris. I can’t imagine. I can’t imagine having lived through that and ever being “totally” alright again. Like Katrina, when something so devastating happens to you…. I don’t think that you are even “right” completely again. ESPESCIALLY if you have lost a loved one.

I had a good friend who worked in a building VERY near the W.T.C. and my thoughts IMMEDIATELY went to him as I sat there at work (I worked in a nursing home , so there were PLEEENTY of T.V.’s) and wondered about his safety. I tried to call him and got no answer on his cell. I left a message. He called me back 2 days later and though his building wasn’t hit , he just happened to be FISHING in MAINE with his father on that day….. a Tuesday. Who in the HELL goes fishing on a TUESDAY?????? He just happened to be doing just that on that day. I was very relieved to talk to him. He was one of my closest friends from high school and I had been pretty worried.

My heart goes out to ALL the victims, Katrina, 9/11 and may we as a people find a way to continue to heal.

So, as I complain about this that and the other, I am humbled by the fact that there are people who have a LOT MORE to complain about than me, that don’t…… so I will be silent in the face of the remembrance of the horror experienced by so many, five years ago.

So, what’d ya’ll do this weekend??

Now why you wanna go and do dat luv huh?.......

As a follow up to Zed’s post on the "Return of the Legends Concert Pt. 1”, that was held in Detroit on Friday,…… let me expound on the magnificence that was.

First of all, before I got there, I looked online to see if there was a ban on camera’s. I called Zed, maddddddddd as hell because being the budding photog that I am, I wanted to take some good pics. Zoom lens? Check. Camera? Check. Full battery power? Check? Permission to take pics? UN-FUCKING-CHECK. Zed said “now you know that them muthafucka’s ain’t gon let you bring a camera up in there”. Yeah, I knew it, but I was holding on to hope in all truth. And my camera is an SLR and as most of them are, is big as HELL and with the zoom lens (which I WOULD need, because though I was in the 4th row, I would not have been able to get the real pics that I wanted and it’s only a LIL bit bigger than the regular lens!)

So, I was already at a deficit but still getting hyped to go though. So, me and my husband dropped the lil one off and headed off. I had on my jeans, and my cool-ass BROOKLYN tee-shirt that Zed copped for me on his last trip out to NYC.

So, we get there and it’s like exactly 8:00pm. So, we mill around for a minute cause the place is NEXT to bare. I was beginning to get worried. Though, I shoulda known cause Africans NEVER come on time...I mean, if there were 100 people in the joint AT 8:00, I would be surprised. So, we went and got this Courvosier concoction that was a frozen alcoholic pink lemonade. THAT shyt was the bomb! Especially seeing as though I was out and ready to have a blast.

O.K….. so at about 8:15 ex-U of M hooper, Jalen Rose comes on and introduces Black Sheep. So……I was all hyped to enjoy this , my first ATCQ concert. Notice that I didn’t mention ANYONE else. I really came to see ATCQ in all honesty. To get things warmed up Dres comes on stage and does his thing sans Mista Lawnge, but still rocked it and it was actually pretty cool to see and hear him in concert. He was still the same sounding Dres that I remembered back from my days at Michigan State. So, net up was the wildcard that no one knew would be performing, Das EFX. When these guys (dayum I had no IDEA that they were so “miniature”) came on, they got the now growing crowd even more hyped up and they ended their set with the seminal “They Want EFX”. The crowd really started getting into it and I was starting to “feel” the “EFX” of my drink. I could see this would be a good night.

Detroit natives, Slum Village came and ripped the set next and since most people into REAL hip hop from Detroit, know who they are, they incited a “rap-a-long” following this evening too. They rocked their now classic “Tainted” and the crowd soared! People were in the seats rocking and rapping along and having a great time.

Next up was EPMD, and though Zed said they were “lumbering but not dead”, I say that they did a helluva job. One thing that I must commend ALL of the groups on was the fact that they did a great job and kept the crowd going. “You Got’s Ta Chill” and “So WHatcha Sayin” got the rest of now full crowd off it’s feet.

And can you say that by this time I was feelin NIIIIIIICE and fuzzy, having a great time, the crowd was pumped and I was ready and WAITING for ATCQ to come out. I coulda EASILY heard JUST Tribe and been F.I.N.E. but after hearing all the others, I was glad that they were included because though this was called “Return of the Legends….”, they never LEFT me. They are STILL in heavy rotation in my car or home. These cats take me back to the days where I was young and full of hope, life and potential. Now, I am not saying I am used up now, but I was just fresh and READY for the world at that time. I was a young woman of 21-23 when these dude were in their hey-dey. Being back in that musical pocket I was transported back to when I was just about to graduate from college and was learning what it meant to be me. I was forming my memories and further developing my musical sense of self as well. I had long leaned towards the Native Tongue groups (Monie Love, Blacksheep, ATCQ, Brand Nubian, Poor Righteous Teachers, JB’s, De La Soul……etc.) as groups that I “felt”. After all, isn’t that what music is all about? FEELING???? When you really like a song you can FEEEEL it changing your mood, going through you and CONNECTING with your spirit on the deepest primordial levels. Some of you may think that I am getting too deep with this,but to me and everyone else (if you really think) about it, music IS deep. It DOES elicit a response (whether good or bad depending) in ALL OF US. I mean, Counrty and Western elicits a response from me….it’s just not a good one. I have an AVERSION to the way it sounds.



ATCQ from day ONE has been THEE group that if I COULD make music, makes music most like I would. Music is the co-host and the active catalyst of my life. You know how when a song comes on that you like and you are feeling that RUSH of “THAT is my SHIT”, what you are feeling are the “good feeling” chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins affect parts of your brain much like that feeling of “being sooooo in love” does. It makes you feel good, invigorated and invincible. You can’t TELL me that when you hear “your song” that you don’t get geeked and WANT to get up and dance or at least sing along. Those are endorphins and I can always count on them to take me back to a time and place where everything was good. Music that I love is tied to those feelings and thus when I hear the music AGAIN , those old feelings and memories come back. Nostalgia people.


Who could be the one /
Rhyming ill, having fun /
Blowing up, making musical memories and things /
Elevate your thoughts on the vibe that we brought /
While we climbing we shine like a super bowl ring /
You could do it too/
I mean hot like we do /
It's a lot like we do and make your own mark /
It's deeper than the song /
Hope you live your life long /
When you win, how you start, kid you gotta have heart /
Niggas in my shit
Move! /
Give a nigga room /
Back it up, it's a grown man making on time/, Like It Like That


The crowd was amped and full to what seemed to be 90% capacity at this time. And since I was close to the front, it probably appeared that it was even MORE crowded. Jalen came on and was wearing the “Peoples Instincive Travels…..” album on a tee shirt as he was about to introduce Quest. I just about jumped over people like I were in a mosh pit to snatch it off of him, but the threat of jail deterred me. As I said, I know almost EVERY SONG by heart and the only ones I DO NOT know were a few from the “Beats, Rhymes and Life” album. That was my LEAST favorite album if I have to pick one. So, I had my “act foolish” fuel in me and when he announced …..

“A TRIIIIIIIBE CALLLLLLLLED QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEST”

I immediately rose from my seat, stood UP on the metal , park-like seats and was literally jumping up and down. I had enjoyed the concert up until then so much and had ALREADY been jumping around so much that my knees had ALREADY started to hurt along with my feet, but this was my night. My night to be taken back, my night to enjoy reliving my younger days and my night to “DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING”.




“Chairman of the board, the chief of affections/ You got mine's to swing in your direction/ Hey, you're like a hip hop song, you know?” Bonita Applebum”,

For those who don’t know me, I am what you would call a “big girl”. I am not a little petite girl and when I tell you that I was jumping ALLLLLLL over the place and DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK, that is what I MEAN! I was swinging my arms, jumping up and down (envision the way Kris Kross was jumping straight up in the air in their “jump” video), I was rapping EVERY.SINGLE.WORD, I was gesturing like me and Quest were having a rap battle, and As I looked over Zed was doing the same thing! He was throwing his arms up and getting hyped. Loving the show! The whole place was ELECTRIC.

“Q-tip and Phifer, they mashed up the party
Kick the rhymes and more rhymes
Kick the beats and more beats
We'll have you scratchin in your head, like Shaheed on Technics ……” , Clap Your Hands

The funny thing was that me & Zed had talked earlier and I had said (and he agreed) that in a perfect world , only those who REALLY appreciated and LOVED the “native tongue” (i.e., not the Sha-nay-nays that won tickets off the radio and her ghetto crew) would be there. In a perfect world, the people in attendance would be much like us: respectable, there to have a good time and ones who REALLY FELT the music. Not those who 2 weeks ago were like “ A tribe what WHO???..... who dat?” See, when you are really into something you do not want it denigrated by those who do not TRULY appreciate the artistry and the skill that went into creating that music. Hence, I am sure a country and western lover would not want to see me at their shit. I understand and will not be there.




“now you caught my heart for the evening/kissed my cheek moved in you confused me/ should I just sit out or come harder/please help me find my way….” Find My Way

But when they came on, it was like I was in their world and they were in mine. I was their muse and they were feeding off of me. They NEEDED to see me and they NEEDED to feel that I respect and LOVE them for what they do and for the joy that their music, parts of their soul, have brought into mine. So, I jumped, shouted, and if my husband hadn’t positioned himself directly in front of me to protect me from falling because I was going so wild, I probably WOULD have tried to walk over a head or two to the front of the stage cause I was feeling them so tough!!! People went Banana’s when they did “Electric Relaxation” as well as “Can I Kick It” and “Find A Way”. All in all their performance was awesome. By far the BEST concert I have ever been to. My only complaint is that they weren’t able (due to time constraints) to do MORE!! I woulda stayed out there half the freakin NIGHT to hear more!!!! I have such great memories attached to Tribe’s music. In a way I grew up to be who I am while listening to their music. So, though I was in LITERAL pain until YESTERDAY because of all of the damn aerobics I did, I don’t care…… I’d do it again…….. there are not many things that I am this intense about and Tribe is one of them……. They know….. I did it for the love.

Love getting down and i love a cool breeze /
Love seein' checks from record companies /
Love lovin' love 'cause i love what I do /
And we do our thing for the one nine two, The Love

daycare drama

O.K., ya’ll, why when I went to pick up my child yesterday, when I got there one of the teachers tells me (as I am walking to the room) “Dylan has been fighting”. I immediately felt my “presha rising” and I had a look that said “WHAT THE FYCK DOES THAT MEAN???”

Well…. I didn’t SAY that verbally, but that was the look. So I proceeded to say, “what happened?” Well, the teacher told me that he “popped a little girl in the head”. I said “ well, what were the circumstances, was she hitting him first or had she done something to him……?” (not that that excuses the hitting, I was just trying to find out WHY he did it....) The teacher said no that he just wanted her to move out of his way and he popped her in the head.

I looked at him and was like “GET OVER HERE! NOWWW!” How about he was looking sooooooooooooooo pitiful and I DID.NOT.CARE. I must’ve asked him 10 times if he hit her and he didn’t utter a WORD. I was then like “GO APOLOGIZE to her.. NOOOOOW!” He goes over and in an almost INAUDIBLE voice says “ I sorry”. I said “I don’t think she HEARD you!” … he goes “sorry” a lil louder. Of course the little girl appeared unphased and continued playing. When we left that roon, I snatched him down that hall so quick I was damn near dragging him cause I was walking so fast. I was mad as H*LL !! I said : When we get home, there’ll be NO chips, NO, juice, NO, popsicle, NO toys , you are going to eat your DINNER, take a BATH and you are GOING TO SLEEP! Do you understand me?”

“yes”

“Good! Because I am VERRY disappointed in you.. you do NOT hit people!! And I am about to call yo’ daddy and tell him what you did!”

So, I call my husband….. (who wasn’t going to be home before Dylan went to sleep cause Wed.’s are his bowling night)

Husband: “Dylan! Did you HIT a little girl”

Dylan: ” WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH !!!!!!!!”

That boy didn’t start crying until his daddy got on the phone! LOL My husband tried to question him for a good 3 minutes and Dylan would not say ONE. WORD.

When we got home, I SWEAR, he was THEE most pleasant, agreeable, no problem, no asking for the banned items, child I have ever known him to be! I was sitting there and though I wanted to be jovial, I KNEW I had to be serious so he knew that I was serious and that it wasn’t a joke. I told him “I love you baby boy, but you CANNOT HIT PEOPLE. PERIOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?????”

"yes...." **half crying, half sad**

Usually, we are going through thangs and crying if we do not get our way. …. NOT last night! I was amazed!!! The only thing is that I had to keep this stern countenance about myself because I needed him to know that I WAS NOT joking with him and that what he did was wrong. Now, THAT SHIT was hard ass WORK! I like to relax, not be all stanky and evil all night. That shit gave me a headache!! Emotionally draiing. Cause see, the MOMENT he sees a smile on my face, he starts smiling like it's playtime. I am just not one to keep a stank-ti-tude all day long, so his punishments are usually short lived. But he ALSO knew on THIS night that I was NOT playing with him. I started to TEAR his ass up when they told me, but I also know that it would not have “necessarily” sent the right message to hit him because he hit somebody else.

Yeah, I know…. OUR parents didn’t think that way and would just light us up at a moments notice!! LOL Though while I do NOT believe that spanking is bad, I also do not want to hit him for everything. Because too much hitting and not talking to the child doesn't effectively teach them that there are OTHER solutions other than hitting. I think that beating a kid for EVERY.SINGLE. THING is not right just as that time-out shit all the time ain't right either. Parenting (as I am finding) is about trying to be in tune with your kid, striking a balance and doing the best you can do. I have sooo many friends who grew to be REALLY (in a bad way) scared of their parents and resent them later on as teens and consequenty act out or make the statement "my parent taught me how NOT TO BE with a child.... I don't WANT to be like them". That's because that was ALL the discipline they got, i.e. gettin' beat down. I want him to have fear of me, don't get me wrong, but sometimes excessive fear can manifest into OTHER destructive shit...... so again, it's about (in my opinion) striking some kinda balance if you can. I guess he IS only 2 though, but I tell you what…. That boy AIN’T stupid, so he KNEW that I was incensed by his behavior. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been acting like that (i.e. all sweet and no problems and no talking back,etc.). And funny…. He doesn’t DO NONE OF THAT to other people. I guess, me & my husband are just “mommy and daddy”…..them African’s ain’t nothing special…… I can do what I want.

I literally can’t BELIEVE how agreeable and even tempered he was.That boy was so good last night. He didn’t approach his toys, He didn’t ask for chips …or NOTHING else on the “banned items” list!! LOL


I don’t care WHAT ya’ll say.. kids AIN”T stupid!!! LOL

Why.....

Why do folks come to work with their I.D. badges ALREADY on when they pull into the parking lot, looking all gay and HAPPY to be at work, like it’s SUCH a badge of honor?

Why do old women put on CAKES of makeup in hopes of looking YOUNGER and it only succeeds in making them look OLD and DEAD?

Why do people get in front of you on the freeway , in the fast lane, and then go SLOWER?

Why won’t this jackass call me back who supposedly wants to buy my grandmama’s house? Has he re-nigga-fied on me?

Why aren’t there enough hours in the DAY to do ALL that I want to do?

Why hadn’t I ever heard about “Inflammatory Breast Cancer” until YESTERDAY when I got an e-mail on it with a news video attached to it? AND that African American’s have a higher instance of it than other races?? If you have never heard of it either, go --> here

Why has my son started to think that mommy/daddy’s bed is where HE is supposed to sleep too??? (naw….. I don’t like children sleeping with me….even my own…..I gets NO sleep that way….. and this shall end) LOL

Why was Spike Lee’s “When the Levee’s Broke Pt.1 & 2”, his requiem about Hurricane Katrina that aired last night, a sad but true depiction in the OWN residents words, so upsetting to me STILL?

Why is my birthday this Sunday and I don’t even care?

Why does my son’s laugh ALWAYS make me laugh? LOL

Why do people wear inappropriate underwear at an increasingly alarming rate?

Though I am taking more pictures now and people really like them, why do I still feel like I am still “playing photographer”?

We have 6 elevators in the immediate tower I work in, but why do people PILE onto one as if there aren’t FIVE FUCKING OTHER’S coming REAL soon? (and of course my stop is on the 20th of 21 floors……***sigh*** takes me 5 minutes just to get up the freakin elevator)

Why is my girl who is now living in Atlanta, just moved there with NO MONEY, NO JOB and AIN’T got a place to live (she and he man and her daughter and nephew were living in a fuckin motel), is 6 months pregnant, and her whole life seems to have crumbled before my eyes and she WON’T pull herself up and GET.IT.TOGETHER and there is nothing I can do about it.

Why do I want my Mom to move back here or just close by soooo bad and the chance of THAT is like a snowball’s chance for survival in hell.

Why do I leave work and begin the evening “rush”; come home, get the boy from daycare, and by the time we eat it’s STILL like 8:00 at the EARLIEST???? (just not enough time)

AND the biggest “why”….WHYYYYYYYY CAN’T I BE INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY?????

Carry on…….

Tribe Vibe

Can I tell ya'll just how much I LOOOOOOVE Tribe Called Quest??? They are coming to this open air venue called Chene Park, here in Detroit on September 1 and myself and my husband plan to be in FULL EFFECT! My love for Quest drew from the experiences and the time in which I was experiencing them. I was in college and they were part of what folks called "The Native Tongue". Their style was unique and their beats were syncopated in just the right way so as to make you tap ya foot without you even realizing you were tapping. Their shit was unique, earthy, soulful and different. Along with groups such as Brand Nubian, De La Soul and the Jungle Brothers they changed the face of hip hop. Truly.

So, here I am with my boys Steve and Earl in NYC....we are making our rounds shopping in the Village, Soho,etc. and we head towards one of our favorite stores, Kenneth Cole. So,we go in and as Steve goes to look at some "mus-cle" shirts in the corner, Isaw this guy pass by me and my mind, in a delayed reaction said to myself "I think that was Ali Shaheed......". I look again and I am like I KNOW that is Ali Shaheed! Well, lawd if I didn't turn back around to my boy Earl and I look again in towards the door and I 'm like (in a whisper to Earl) "I think THAT is Q-tip!!!!!". I am nearly pulling Earl's jacket off his shoulder I am soo excited. Byt this time my boy Steve wanders back over and I am like "Steve! Is that Q-tip??? I think it is!!!". We look and look (not wanting to mistake someone for someone famous and they think us crazy)and finally are SURE that it is him.

Now, I have NEVER, and I do mean N.E.V.E.R. been a gay-ass (gay as in happy), groupie, fanatical-fan type of person.....well, not since Prince's Purple Rain Tour...... but that's another story. So, I was like Oh HELL NAW, he can NOT get out this store without ME taking a pic with him! Folks I ABSOLUTELY LOVE Tribe Called Quest!! There are MAYBE 3-5 songs that they have EVER made that I do not like! I used to like them soooo much in college people started calling me "Bonita Applebum". As a matter of fact my boy from college, who now lives DIRECTLY across the street from me, Rodney, started calling me that and sometimes still does!!!

So, here I am SCARED to approach this man because I LOVE his music. I was feeling like those giddy ass white chicks you see on t.v. going bananna's over an artist. Only difference my "little fanatical whit chick " was going off on the INSIDE.

So,I finally get up the nerve to ask him to take a picture with me . I walk up to him and say "Hi, You're Q-tip, right?" **smile, smile**. He smiles warmly and says "Yes, I am....how you doing?". I coulda fainted. I say, "I just wanted to tell you that I love your music **oh Robyn, you are sounding stuuuuuuupid, but fuck pride right now, you LOVE you some Tip** and I wanted to know **gulp** if you would take a picture with me.... **thank GOD I always have a camera with my ass!!**

He agreed and Voila:



I have never been so GEEKED in my LIFE. For real. With that said, I am ubbbbbberly excited to be going to this concert on September 1. I have never seen them in concert and it should be nice, cause in my book they damn near can't go wrong!!! See ya then Tip.

If you hear any noise it's just me & da boys.....

In a world of fly by night romances, haughty broads, too cool nigga’s , fake hoes, sneaky bitches and backstabbers, there is nothing like the little seen entity….. True Friends. In specific, I am focusing on my true MALE friends.

You see, I have always been a person who had more MALE friends than female friends , mainly because bitches are crazy,sneaky and WAAAAAAAAAY better at mosquito-esque techniques (meaning, before you even know that most of them are stabbing your ass, they have gotten in, gotten on and are about to leave the scene of the crime). Now, I was always verrrrrrrrry scared of rejection, so even if there WERE dudes I liked, I always became the “:friend”. That’s the “safe” box I put myself in to stop myself from being hurt or turned down. It’s interesting that some of them later told me that they had a thing for me! WTF??? DAMMIT!! **shrug**

I have had many “frociates” (see The Kajuana Show circa 2005), that would be a friend + accociate who you have never had “biblical dealing “ with. I mean, I would literally just come INTO knowing a zillion guys. But these 3 guys, these 3 negroes have proven themselves in my life to be “BEST FRIENDS” in the truest sense of the word. This is my tribute to them.

Zed:


Don't we just look gay and HAPPY as Hell????? Heck we were young......we had a right to be!!.....this pic is OVER 10 years old!!!!LOL

Me & the Zedster met at Michigan State University sometime in the year of 1989 (I think…correct me Zed if I am wrong….). I think that it was at some point that I would see him CONSTANTLY around the campus and we’d stop and talk and chit chat about bullshit, etc. It wasn’t until after he came back to MSU after a brief stint at the crib (ahem,…..) that we got tight. I will never forget this conversation that was had at my then, campus apartment. Here’s how it went:

Zed: So….. you dating anybody?? **cheese**
Me: Yes…. I am
Zed: Who? Do I know him?
Me: I dunno….. I am dating this guy named Dave.
Zed: Dave who?
***I go into my room to grab the picture of Dave that was on my desk***
Me: Dave Harris
***Zed looks at picture and almost swallows his tongue***
Zed: DAVE! DAVE??? You mean Minority Aide DAVE???
Me: ***laughing and smiling*** Yes, THAT Dave.
Zed: SHIT !!

And so continued our platonic friendship LOL. It was soooo funny to see the look on his face when he discovered that it was the Dave he KNEW , and not only KNEW but who he was REAL COOL with! Our friendship kinda waxed and waned and I graduated and moved to D.C., so we lost touch for a minute. It wasn’t until I came back to Detroit that me & Zed connected again and it was on from then. I mean, me & Zed would hang out at LEAST once every two weeks and we would talk pretty much EVERY DAY! It was great to have a friend who I’d known for such a long time be back in effect and in my life. Zed has seen me through the Dave-breakup saga and through job issues and through me getting to know myself as a woman. He is one of THEE best counselors and advisors I know and he and I are SO much alike that it’s really not even funny. He used to ALWAYS refer to me as the “male version” of him (so that tells ya’ll I have mannnnnnnnny untold stories…… hee hee). And indeed, we are a lot alike. There are times where we’ll be talking and I will say “Uh…..umm… well…..” and he will just say “yeah man….. I KNOW what you mean…. I feel what’chu mean”. And hence started the all of the references to “Monkey’s”…. monkey this, monkey that and it just stuck. I love my Zed and I hope he always knows how much I appreciate him!

Earl:


Ohhh LAWD! What can I say about this negro? I met Earl also at Michigan State and became friends with him. He is 1/3 of the “Monkey Triumverate”, also known as myself, him and our boy Steve. We have also remained tight since college. Now, Earl is the smooth monkey out of the group. He has the “pretty boy/corporate thug” thing going on and knows how to handle himself with the ladies. He was SUCHHHH a playa in college and après college that I am surprised that I became as cool with his butt as I did. But one thing that was true about me and Earl’s relationship, was that once he found that I was his GIRL, true blue, he let down his guard and let me BECOME his friend, his true friend. It also wasn’t until after college that me & Earl became the way we are today. Me , Earl & Steve also share a love of disco (hence my screename ya’ll). Now, Earl is straight up from the “east side” and will tell somebody “lookie here, I’m from da east side,…… I don’t play dat” LOL and please believe it, he will get down if need be. He just hates resorting to stuff like that. But don’t let the pretty face fool you….. he will get wit’chu. So, imagine him, “baby thug life" as I could call him, being ALLLLL IN with some semi-bohemian, deep underground house and disco. HUH? Yeah, that’s what me & Steve said at first. But this brotha was as into this shit as most prepped-out, semi-intellectual, wanna-be folks who like deep house and disco are. Word. Me, Steve and Earl have been on numerous trips outta town together (Chicago, NYC a couple times and Toronto). We allhave said that the chemistry between the three of us is like that of no other three people. It is simply undescribeable and special. Earl now lives in Chicago and Steve, Arizona, so the triumvirate is split amongst 3 different time zones now. But when it was on, it was great. Literally some of the best times of MY LIFE. Earl and I would hang together and just go to grab a bite to eat or we’d just sit up in his crib and have some drinks and chill. I was like a sister to him, so there was never any pretense or put-on with us. Just realness. And I appreciate it. Because I was the “minority” of the triumvirate, I became “one of the guys”. And I am glad I did. These mufuckas would NOT MINCE ANY WORDS around me about women. They talked about “hoes” , “bitches”, “tricks” and any other variation that you can think of. I was being reverse-schooled! And I ate it up. I think that that is why my knowledge of the “game” is above and beyond where it woulda been had I not had these two. I have been to strip clubs and freak clubs. I have been WITH Earl when he was trying to talk to a chic and when the chic was like “who is that?” (referring to me, seated in the FRONT seat) he replied “oh, that’s my ex-wife”….. the chicken’s loved him, and he them. Earl has GOT to be the smoothest when it comes to dealing with women and though I did not always sanction his methods and such, I respected it because it was TEACHING me how shit REALLY is in the mind of a nigga. Indeed, Earl is a ride-or-die kinda mufucka. I have NO doubt that he would do anything for me…..all I have to do is make the call and he’d be on the way. True.


Steve



Steve and I met, where else? At Michigan State in 1990. He was a freshman and I was trying to be a junior! Lol. Well, from the FIRST time we met and he told me he was a DJ who loved disco/ house etc. and we sat down and talked, his spirit spoke to mine and I said to myself “ I HAVE to become cool with this dude…..he is MY type of person”. That coupled with the fact that he was a DJ who spun house/disco and I was too excited to be his friend. And I mean that in a TOTALLY platonic way. I just WANTED to talk to him some more because there I was usually feeling like I had the weirdest taste in music as compared to the masses and here he comes and LOVVVVVVES, not just likes, the SAME kinda music I do!!! I HAD TO become his friend! Funny thing is, he has since told me that he felt the SAME way about me upon first talking and meeting me. He and I lived in the same dorm until he moved off campus and I graduated. So, friendship came fast and easy with Steve and I. He was a “preppy kid”, I was a “preppy kid”. He loved house/disco, I loved house/disco. It was natural. I was soo glad to have someone that didn’t misunderstand me and that liked the same things that I liked! When me, him and Earl heard about this TIGHT club in NYC called Club Shelter and went there, me & Steve literally CRIED tears of joy at the entrance to the club because we heard the music and thought "we are NOT the only ones on the planet who LOVES THIS.EXACT.KIND .OF.MUSIC". Me & Steve talk about that often about that being a defining moment in our lives and the fact that we shared it together. Me and him are just "there" when it comes to music and there has been NO ONE to "feel" the music like I do OTHER THAN him. That is special.


Steve and Earl (in background) in Soho...


We have stayed in contact with each other throughout the years and he is really like a brother to me. So much so that I even had a key to his house and vice versa. He would tell women that basically “rob is my girl. that’s it. Nothing more. And if you can’t deal with that then…....get on”. Wow. Yeah, I was the queen **adjusting crown** and closer to him than his (3) sisters in many ways. We have been there through each other’s break ups, loaning money to one another, parental death, heartbreaks, TOOOO many laughs to name and more happy times than I think most people have......so if there was ever a time that I needed someone, he has been my sounding board, critic and uplifter in anyway he can. Even though Steve lives in Arizona now, I still feel as close to him today as when he was here. He just passed the Bar and is embarking on this new journey and I am soo proud (plus I can get free legal advice now! HA!!) All in all I am TRULY blessed to have my boys. They gave me that "other" male perspective that women just CANNOT give you. I hope that people out there have friends , may it be male or female because there are times that you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to share a smile with. These fella's have been there through it all.


I treasure them and hope that they know this !

Meme Friday

Since Zed's ass tagged me, I guess I will have to answer this :-)


Two Names You Go By:
1. Rob-nizzle (o.k…. not really)
2. Beana (by my girls primarily)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Bra
2. Draws

Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Endorphins
2. Peace

Two Things You Want Really Badly At This Moment:
1. This silver Movado watch for my birthday
2. To sell my grandmama’s house and get my basement refinished with the proceeds (yeah, I know that’s prolly two, but so what!) :-)

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Shopping
2. Fixing up my house

Two pets you have had:
1. Cat- Pooh (for a whole 24 years!....And yes that would be HUMAN years!)
2. Cat- Mittens (that hoe had to go cause she started peeing on the carpet!)

Two people who will fill this out:
1. Dunno
2. Someone who hasn’t yet

Two things you did last night:
1. Played with my lil boy
2. Watched “Money Talks” again…. I LOVE the opening scene! HA!

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Cheesecake Factory
2. Seldom Blues

Two things you ate today:
1.Cheesburger
2. Triscuits

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. My dumb ass boss…..UGH!
2. Zed

Mom

I was talking to my mom the other day and she was telling me that she got a call from her former college classmate saying that the ladies of her Nursing class were having a 50th reunion (dayum! FIFTIETH??????.... I should be so lucky). I said “Mom,….I just CANNOT believe that it has been FIFTY YEARS since you graduated from undergrad!” I meant that in a “wow, it seems like yesterday” type of way and she got it as such. She said “yeah, I know! It is amazing. Well, my Mom lives in Florida and she said that the reunion is gonna be down there. I was like “why is it gonna be down there???” (because my mother’s college is in Detroit, hence my confusion). She replied “because most of these folks have retired down here, so…… it’s more convenient for people”.

Ohhhh I see. So, I asked her “did you always wanna be a nurse?” She said “yes, even as a little girl, I had told people that that was what I wanted to be…… but then again, there weren’t many role models to do other and greater things in my tiny little word”. “what do you mean? If you had had those role models, would you have aspired to become something different??” I asked. She said that for her, NO one in her family or close to her had gone to college. Let’s remember: My mother will be 72, so were talking about growing up as a child in the 40’s and early 50’s. She goes on to tell me that she “could have been a teacher, but felt that teaching wasn’t for her…..many girls were interested in being a secretary as well, but that wasn’t something she aspired to either. She said that it wasn’t until she was in high school and a counselor submitted her name for a scholarship and she won , in the same year, both the Delta Sigma Theta and the Alpha Kappa Alpha scholarship, that she even REALLY felt that she could go to college. Without those, she would not have been able to at the time (right outta high school) . My grandma had no money and it was SOOOO not heard of “saving” for your children’s futures, hell they were doing GOOD to feed ‘em. So, those scholarships really jump started her life and in return, mine as well.

So, we talk some more and I, out of the blue, just wanted to ask her “Mom, how hard was it to be a single mother?” You see, she left my father when I was almost 3. And truth be told, she said that she had decided that she didn’t WANT to be married to him anymore BEFORE I was even conceived, but that she gave him another chance and voila….here I come. I am my mother’s ONLY child. She said that not long after I was a year old, my father had a bad accident at work, which left him severely incapacitated and unable to work, or even provide most of the daily are for himself. And my mother's saying has always been "you don't kick a person when they're down....". So, though she did not want to stay in the marriage, she also was not going ot leave him incapacitated. So,my mother stayed with him (though at this point she was PLANNING her escape). My mother had bought the house they lived in with HER money and it was with her money (my father , per her, usually spent HIS money on drinking and hanging the fuck out) that she planned our escape.

She said that she had to find a place where it was “safe” for me & her because my father (being the alcoholic that he was) would have NOOOOOOOO problem coming to yo job and performing, or coming to yo house and performing! So, she opted to live in an apt. building that had security where not just ANYBODY would get in. The building also had secured underground parking. She said that she planned to leave for OVER A YEAR, scrimping and saving for me and her. After all, she was planning on leaving EVERYTHING. She would therefore have to buy furniture, new beds, bedding, some kitchen supplies, kitchen table, etc…….

Well, she finally did what she set out to do. Leave. She said that basically she left one day when he went to work and then took me over to my grandma’s (her mother) house while she went to tell him she and I were OUT. She said that we walked out of the house RIGHT into our apartment. I was about 3 years old. The same building I think of as home (because I do not remember EVER living with my father). I grew up in this building and was there until my mother mover to Florida when I was 17 years old and about to become a senior in high school. But, this was only part of the story…… I , as an adult, can only IMAGINE how difficult it was to have a young child, limited funds and be a single parent. And though I know a whole LOT of single parents had it WORSE than she did, I know that her journey was STILL not an easy one.


I asked her, “I remember that you told me that it was hard at times, and I NEVVVVER knew it.”. She replied, “You weren’t supposed to know”. I could feel her smiling through the phone. She went on, “I didn’t want you to have that burden on you. You were a very sensitive child and I knew you would worry so much AND to top it off, you didn’t NEED to worry about grown-folks stuff…. You were a child and it was your job to go to school, study and have fun growing up…..it was my job to make SURE that you had what you needed, and some of what you wanted……your didn’t need to know that sometimes I didn’t have lunch money or that I had to budget carefully to make sure I had money for gas……that wasn’t your worry to shoulder sweetie….”

I thought “wow”….. I literally thought my mother had money GALORE when I was younger…. She ALWAYS took me shopping and would buy me at LEAST one item when we went. I remember times where I would want more stuff than she would be willing to buy (when really it was probably more than she could afford) and I would have the NERVE to get a FUNKY-STANKIN- ATTITUDE !!!! I wish I could go back and smack the hog SHIT outta my 10, 11, 12 or even 13 year old self! My mother was just always soooooo secretive that I had no IDEA what she made per year, what our rent costs were or any REAL sense of what stuff cost and how far money DIDN’T go.

I mean, looking back, I don’t know HOW my mother was able to do what she did! When I was 4, she went to grad school and eventually got her Masters of Nursing. I can’t IMAGINE doing that and I HAVE A HUSBAND! There is simply NO TIME for you when you have a very little one, yet she was able to do it, with help from my grandmother and grandfather and a couple of my “play” aunts (my mother had one brother, who lived out of town, and later died when I was about 11). She told me that she was so happy to have me though , that there was no sacrifice too big for me. It brought tears to my eyes.

So, I am proud to have my Mom as MY Mom....she really is the best and I commend all GOOD single parents out there and can only say that they really hold up the truest meaning of the word : PARENT

Pressed for time....all the time....

Have you ever felt like there is just not enough time in a day??? Well, it seems that I have sooooo many things that I need to do and sooooo little time to do them. Top on my list of “shit I NEED to do but ain’t got the time, but I SERIOUSLY need to make the time”:

1. Exercise
2. Spend more time with my son
3. Spend more time “honing” and studying my craft (photography)
4. Learning more about money and becoming more financially savvy like “Single Ma”
5. Blogging (ha! I list this because it is a stress reliever…so I definitely NEED to do this )
6. Chillaxin’ (this one is HIGLY underrated, but I am a FIRM believer that having time to Chillax IS a need! It helps rejuvenate you!)

I mean, I have more items for this list, but I figure I’d stop here. If I could just sleep 4 hours a night, maybe I could GET more done, but I am here to tell YOU that I need AT LEAST 8-9 hours of damn sleep. Always have. I expect, always will. Even inc ollege, I used to be the one who would take a nap EVERYDAY and folks be just’a talking about me…..but I LITERALLY can’t function (consistently) on less than 6 hours of sleep on a regular basis. For real.

Take now for instance. Since my husband was gone this weekend, I didn’t get a chance to do some photo editing on a person’s pics that I took recently. Now,…. I need to get this done SOON, because I told her that it would be about a week for her to get her pictures (that week was yesterday). But with my little one requiring sooooo much attention, there was NO WAY I could focus on doing it this weekend, and once he went to sleep….. I was worn out! So, I can soooo see how single parents are TI.RED. So, I need to hustle to get this down tonight so I can get the pics printed to HOPEFULLY get them to her by Wednesday. (but that is 3 days over my due date!! **SIGH**) Neeeeeeed more time in the day.

I wish I had one of those “time stoppers” like they have in the movies! LOL

Emotions

Being a black man is hard in America. We hear this everyday, no? And, as a therapist once told me (yup…been to one before) :

How you think, how you react to situations, how you treat your loved ones, what your morals are, and basically you in general is a DIRECT result of what you were TAUGHT as a child, taught being by example and by direction.

I really believe that. I think that is why a lot of women are told “look at how a man treats his momma…..you can bet he’ll treat you that way”. I know you all have heard that many times before. The meaning of that is clear: if he were TAUGHT to respect women, more than likely he will do just that for the rest of his life (yes, there are exceptions I know..). But I firmly believe, what you are taught to value in your VERY early, formative years sticks with you.

So, since we have some basics outta the way here’s my topic of the day, How, why and when is it O.K. to chastise little boys for not liking “manly” things or for exhibiting less than “manly” ways when it comes to displays of emotion.

Lemme ‘splain. If a little girl (say 3 years old) cries….we comfort her and we soothe her , but if a little boy cries, he may be told to “shake it off” or to (in some instances which I think are wrong) told something as harsh as, “stop crying like a little bitch!” or they get called names, or “since you cry like a little girl, I’ll treat you like a little girl….wanna Barbie little girl….”. I think it is TOTALLY wrong to degrade little boys and to dog them for showing that they have feelings. That puts it in their head that displays of emotiona are WEAK and they eventually tie it into thinking that those who do it (mostly women) are weak too! I heard this man going off on his LITTLE 3 year old son the other day, calling him girlie names and dogging him because he was crying. To me, that coulda been handled another way. But I also saw him talking to his wife in a rough, dictatorial kinda of way too. Yeah, O.K……. that shit woulda gone over like a STANKIN-ASS fart in church with me! You WILL NOT dog me or my baby to make your point!

Now, I also understand that you do now want your young man to grow up and be ridiculed by OTHER “macho men” for having too showy of a display of feelings. No doubt there is a fine line on how to raise little boys to be sensitive and manly at the same time, because in our current society , those terms are oxymoron’s.

I still do not believe that it is O.K. to make a boy feel bad about being somewhat sensitive towards others and showing that he cares. It simply gives them a complex and makes them less able to deal with conflict in the future through sharing (typically a way of dealing attributed to women, but effective in NOT letting shit be all pent up) and MORE likely to resort to frustration, internal confusion and just shutting down in general. This is another reason (in my opinion) that so MANY men must LEARN to “talk about it”. Women are taught it from birth. And in today’s society you hear all the time “don’t let stress stay pent up….stress causes heart attacks, strokes, diabetes…..shortens your life span…”. So, why would RELEASING those frustrations through emotion or feeling be bad????? OHHHHH , I forgot…only “gay men” do that right? No. I would PREFER for my man to talk to me and not clam up and shut me out and be able to DEAL with it in a healthy way (other than punching a boxing dummy’s brains out). Knowing how to deal with YOURSELF and teaching a boy how to effectively deal with his emotions is FAR more important than satisfying some “macho code of the wild: that most men subscribe to.

So, do I want my son to be called a punk? No. Do I want my son to be disadvantaged in terms of his being able to assimilate with other men as an adult? No. But do I want him to KNOW how to handle emotions healthily? FUCK YES!.

In my (unofficial) opinion, I think that little boys being INCORRECTLY taught how to respond to their feelings is WHY there are so many misogynistic, macho, sexist, a-womans-place-is-in-the-kitchen-or-the-bedroom type of men. After all, if the fathers or the mother’s are TEACHING or SHOWING their sons that it is O.K. to dog any type of display of emotion and women in general, how do you think they’ll turn out as men? Probably not nice or it will just take them A LOT of “work” being done on themselves to RELEARN how to deal! I understand, as I said before, that you do NOT want your young man (or young woman for that matter) to go around crying at every little bump or slight of their feelings. But I do not think degrading them or beating them because they SHOW feelings is good either. I think parents that do that are disadvantaging them more than not.

Misc..... Tuesday

I have been pondering on many miscellaneous thoughts:

Why do women wear skirts that are sheer as shit with nothing to camouflage your ENTIRE ass? Didn't yo momma teach you betta?? Apparently not.

And WHYYYYYYYY did I see this little girl (looked to be about 10) in a WHITE sheeeer skirt and I could see EVERY.STICH.OF.HER.LITTLE.GIRL.DRAWS underneath. It was like she had on a piece of clear Saran Wrap or something. A pedophile woulda hadda FIELD DAY looking at her! A DAYUM shame...... But her momma looked a hotfire mess too..... so there ya go.....

Why is it that when my boss, her boy (might as well say “my other boss”) and wobbles are out, does she call me like I am a 5 year old who was left at home alone. She calls to “check in”and “make sure everything is O.K.”. Which usually results in her talking to me way too long (see: longer than 1.5 seconds) and give me dumbass information about NOTHING. She does it ALL THE TIME! Even IF I am not the only one in our group, here in this office, she calls. I’m like “BITCH! Don’t you think if shit was on fire or falling apart , that I’d call yo stupid ass???”

DAMN!!! I am potty trained ya know???? She just called since I am the only one in our group and left the following message:

“ Hi Robyn, I am on my way to the Flint office and I was just checking in to make sure everything was O.;K……I didn’t have any messages on my v.m., but I was just checking in…..”

What bitch, were ya checking to make sure I didn’t go home early???? WTF??? If that was the case, you could call your office spies to find out what I’m doing. But noooo…..you call me and have inane ass conversations in which I have to answer DUMB ASS questions:

“ So, are you LONELY back there all by yourself?”

“NOOOOOO….. I’m just fine”

“Oh..O.K…..”

And then she proceeds on her little dmbass tirade of dumb ass shit that she talks about. I’m sooo sick of her

And the quest for a new job continues…….

Well….. my husband is going to Washington , D.C. along with about 10 gazillion members of Alpha Phi Alpha, sooo it’s just me & the boy this weekend! Guess we’ll have some real Mommy/son time! I think we’ll go visiting and to the zoo….

Karma

Did you guys know that it is HARD to find a job when you work in the city with the SECOND worst unemployment rate in the country?? I haven’t been as diligent as I should have, but I ALSO have put my resume out for some pretty good positions that were asking for JUST what I have in terms of qualifications! **sigh** But, being IN HR currently, I knooow the name of the game: Get somebody over qualified, pay them less. And I press on……

Interestingly enough, I saw my ex-boss who was a horrible tyrant and who I blasted in my exit interview with my HR boss before I left. Well, I saw him at a former mutual co-worker’s wedding last Saturday. Now, I have seen him before though it has been some time. He is in a fraternity and my ex, who was also in the same frat, took me to a frat function and my ex-boss was there. I saw his ass and IMMEDIATELY took note of WHEREVER he was in the room , so as to avoid even acknowledging him by mistake. Folks, he made my life a living hell. For real. To give you an example, he was one ot those types of bosses that made YOU justify (not just me, but even his GIRL who was a director there and he had a personal friendship outside of work with) why you should get a raise. I mean, and would ask dumbass questions that were retarded to have to answer. Like: “so, why should I give you a raise?” or (this is the one he asked me)“So…… how do you think your performance has been over the past year……(I give my answer)….. Uh huh…..o.k,, so do you think that you should get a raise, a decrease in salary or should your salary stay the same?”

WTF? What in the FUCK kinda dumbass question was that????? By the time I lef that place, I hated him and I think the feeling of disdain was mutual.

SO, we see each other at this function and we were , at one point, standing not MORE than 10 feet from each other and were BOTH totally ignoring each other. I didn’t speak, he didn’t speak. Fucking fine with me. Asshole. I saw him another time and I totally avoided his ass again. I need not speak to those who wish me no good will. I don’t even want you in my AIR space!

So, fast forward to my girls wedding this past weekend. The first thing I asked my other ex-co-worker (who I was going to the wedding with) was: Is ****** going to be here???????!!! She was like “I’m not sure…..since I don’t work there anymore, I have no idea either”.

So, I’m waiting and waiting, no show for the wedding. GREAT! YEA! We walk into the fucking reception and here he comes. SHIT!! Not only does he come, he and his wife sits RIGHT Behind us at another table! UGHHHHHHHHH!!! I dislike that man sooooooooo much that I was HOPING that he would be FAR across the room (it was a big reception) from my ass! No such luck. I didn’t want to speak, but eventually, he spoke to me, shook my hand and made small chit chat. Why, later after dinner, etc. did I get up to go make a call to come BACK and find him in MY SEAT talking to the people at my table???? I guess he was uncomfortable coming over there until I left since there was that bad blood between us. Punkass.

So, I sit down on the other side of him because I told him to stay and talk when he offered to get up and cut his convo. short with my girl. Nooooooooooo…. Don’t let it be MY fault that you didn’t get a chance to talk to her. Tallllllk…..go ahead. So, I sit down, he then turns to me. Telling me he heard I had a baby, and that I’d gotten married, and what am I doing now, and about his son and daughter who are at Morehouse and Spelman respectively and that he bets I (and I quote) “I bet you have a cute lil baby” , and how I should call him and he’ll take me out for lunch or drinks or what the fuck ever…….just a babbling! I did SOOOOOOOOO WELL (Please testify to this Zed) to even have sat there and STOMACHED this bullshit. See…..one thing about me…..when you do me WRONG and are an ASSHOLE,I WILL.HOLD.THAT.SHIT.FOR.FUCKING.EVER as a grudge and you will never get a chance to do it again. That is why when I leave THIS bitch, I DO NOT EVVVVVVVVVVA HAVE TO see this waynch (that would be wench) again! For real. Iw anted to tell him that it would be an ICE COLD, 900,000 degree below day in hell before I would call him to go to “lunch” or whatever. Puh-lease. See, after I left, he got this CRAZY hoe who knew NOTHING and was horrible! But you blamed me for being a first time HR manager and not knowing all the ins and outs, but this hoe was CRAZY, had family problems and was WORSE than me! Serves yo ass right.

So, I sat there listened and laughed internally, because my girl that I went to the wedding with, not 4 months after I left (almost 5 years ago) said that he said “ You know…..I was a lil hard on Robyn…..she really wasn’t that bad”

Karma’s a bitch ain’t she.