Back

Hey all, since I last posted I went and came back from Atlanta for my husband's grandmother's 80th birthday celebration. It was supposed to be a surprise but his cousin's daughter Lea (age 4 7/8), told her the birthday girl, "GiGi, Tee went to the store to get decorations for your party ...she didn't go to the grocery store".

And there went the surprise! LOL

Here are a few pics:


Cousins having fun!


Fun times in his cousin's Bouncy thing


Me & my husband at the party.


We had a good time and can I just say that I REEEEALLLY wanted to move there more than ever this time I went???? There are several reasons for this statement. One, it was like 70-75 degrees in Mid-March and we won;t see that ish until AT LEAST the beginning of June with any regularity (probably like the MIDDLE of June to be exact....). Number 2, if you all have been reading this stuff for awhile, you all know that though I have family here (albeit a small family, I have an older brother, sister and one niece and one nephew...nope...no aunts and no uncles) here. But it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for us to "coordinate" with them to take our son off our hands and watch him if we want to do anything! It is the most frustrating thing about having a small family and not being near my husband's family, bar none. The one person who WOULD do it is my niece, but she is sooooooo tied up into her husband's family and their goings-on, that either she is too busy, she's also in grad school, or spending time with her husband. I damn sure can't blame her, and this is MY child, but what happened to "it takes a village...." cause my village is non-existent. For real. And I feel that stress and my marriage oftimes feels that stress of NEVER really being able to go out or do things with each other because we don't have someone to watch out son. So......the fact still remains that I can't rely on my family for help..... hardly ever..... and it's hard to get that outlet.

And before you all ask..... I had (notice i say "had") a babysitter 3 doors down, but her family MOVED and pretty much everyone else on our street is a teenage male (not feeling THAT demographic for a babysitter....sorry if that's sexist, but **shrug** oh freakin well...) or they are too young. I do not know other "teens" in the neighborhood that babysit either. And as you know, my mother lives in Florida and my husband's mother lives in Georgia. But the saving grace has been Melvin's and my girl( Diva's families. The problem there is that we cannot "ask all the time" or as my mother used to say "wear out your welcome" like you might try to do with your OWN family :-) Also, the people that will sometimes keep OUR son, may need to keep my girl and HER huaband's son (my Godson) who is about to turn 2! So, that also limits us, after all, they are "like family" ...but they are NOT our family and whatever way you slice it....there IS a damn difference! Feel me??

Can I just say that it was soooo effortless for my husband's cousin to take my son and keep him at her house, and trust, this was not JUST because we were only there for a few days.... this is just how it would be! My husband has a whoooooole lotta people that we could have keep our son! I mean, I can't even lie.... that alone makes me want to move down there! He gets to play with his cousins (who are his age, of which there are NONE up here in my family) and Mommy and Daddy get some "parent-time" and probably some of our own individual "me-time" back without one or the other solely having the little one.

Don't get me wrong, it was OUR choice to have a baby and it is OUR son. So, I am not trying to say I want to shirk my parental duties in ANY way. But everyone needs time...... and needs it more than once a year. Do you know that our son has NEVER spent the night away from us EXCEPT for when my mother came up here and we went to Chicago 3 years ago???? Uh...yeah. We haven't been on a vacation since. Because there is always "that issue" of "well.... who could he stay with for 3-7 days if we go somewhere????????" It's just a logistical nightmare and financially expensive undertaking JUST for us to "go on a trip"...... feel me????

So with that said..... I yearn for that kinda of support and those of you who have it... have NO.IDEA. how lucky you are. Trust me... you are very lucky because not having extra support does take it's toll.....

***DIVA THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU BECUASE YOU REMIND ME ALL THE TIME THAT YOU ARE VERY THANKFUL TO HAVE YO PEOPLE!!! LOL ***

Carving out time for yourself is tough and though I'd miss my friends dearly, if my husband would be up for moving (which, because he likes the stability of his position where he works and the fact that we would have a hard as HELL time selling this house in this f'ed up market), I'd be all over it.....becuase it is no JOKE not having people around to help... for real.....Truth be told, in a perfect world, I would just be able to have the help I need HERE and not move, but that isn't reality and the help would be worth it to move. My husband agrees that the help would be worth it, but we'd have to find jobs,etc. and not just any job, the RIGHT.ONES that would allow us to pay bills and maitain a lifestyle, feel me??

So, who knows, maybe one day we will.....

I've been duped!

Well, if any of you are fans of "The Wire" and have a cable provider that provides OnDemand (where you can basically view certain movies/programs ----on demand), you may feel me on this...

For the ENTIRE last season of "The Wire" (which I am about to shed a tear about it being the last season...btw...)because we have OnDemand through Comcast cable, we were able to watch EVERY episode a WEEK EARLY, starting the Monday BEFORE the Sunday that it airs! So me and my husband have been like CRACKHEADS every Monday night always watching The Wire after the little one is asleep, right?

This week heralds the end. of . The. Wire..... **head hanging low**. Folks have been killed off that I NEVER thought would (Prop Joe and Omar to name the biggest of the two) and I really wish this wasn't ending. The Finale was to come on this Sunday, March 9.... soooooo.... as is customary with me, we went to On Demand to get the Finale EARLY and saw this:




If you watch The Wire you know why this is so funny.....because EVERY time this man says this I just crack the hell up! He's a african's african...... that's what I call him and me and my husband just sat there with our mouths open and let out a big ass laugh.... they got us... they got us.... I couldn't even REALLY be mad cuz our DUMB ASSES shoulda known they wasn't gon let us see "THE . FINALE" early!!!! LOL

Definitely duped! LOL

Reunion

My 20 YEAR high school reunion is this year (come on Shai... you comin?) :-)

And I am like "damn.. I need to lose some A WHOLE LOT of weight! I was never Ms. Skinny but damn if I haven't gained a NICE amount since high school! I want to be cute at the reuinion, I want the people I went to high school with to be like DAMN she looks good!! (isn't that what EVERYBODY wants????) I need to have a 1969 type of reunion!!!I think this is just the motivation I need,.... I hope.....

My problem is.... motivation..... I typically get so amped and then lose steam. Problem now is that I can't get up some motivation to save my life!!! I have a treadmill, and the ONLY time that it is feasable for me to do the tread is in the a.m..... but I swear.... motivation..... that bitch is elusive as HELL cause I SWEAR I can't find her ass! I say "imagine how GOOD you will look (and feel, no less)",....motivation still eludes me.... I say "you will be BETTER than you were in high school if you go ahead and start NOW".... motivation turns her head and runs out the door. I say " GET IN HERE NOOOOOOOOWWWW"....motivation looks at me and laughs a hearty loud laugh.

DAMN her ass. I swear my bed pulls me INTO it in the am, thereby causing me to miss motivation when she does show up at 5:45am. By the time my bed releases me....her ass is gone. Time is not on my side... the reunion weekend is August 15-17th. That's only SIX months! That may seem like a long time to ya'll but when you want to REALLY lose a nice amount of weight...that ain't shit!!!

I think I'm gonna kidnap her....that is the only way.

School days

So, I am thinking about going back to school ya'll... I have thought about this on and off for a while now. WHen I graduated from undergrad, I was so happy to be DONE with school that I damn near ran out of my last final screaming and tearing off my clothes! LOL I didn't want to see a homework list/group meeting request/textbook for a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time. For real. I mean come on.... 20 years (minus the 3 years of my infancy) is a LONNNNNG time to be in school....I was ready....stick my ass with a fork, I was DO.NE!

Needless to say I am not one that just lovvvvvvvves to study and do work...and my gpa reflected that mess too. Though I have always known the benefit and importance of education, I have never been the most er...uh...studious. I know that I must bring the thunder in grad school though. There IS no place for slacking, half-assing and bullshitting....which was a big part of my PREVIOUS ways.

Life has taught me much and one of those things is that (through other people's stories too) is that you MUST get at least a 3.0 in grad school. That scares me. Why? Because I was never MADE to get all A's ....my mother has a master's degree, but she was never ON ME-ON ME or SUPER-PISSED-I'mma-take-everything-away-from-you type of mad when i brought home a C. I do not blame her, but I was lazy and her not jumping all over me combined with that was not a good combination.

I have no time to be lazy now. I have too much to juggle now. Family, child and work. I must be diligent and organized with my studying,et al. I am looking forward to going back though I know it will be alot of work. Someone once told me that "what is the difference between now and 3 years from now?" The answer? If you start going to school TODAY, you will have your degree. In the other scenario, if you do not start school, you won't...you'll; be at exactly the same point you were at 3 years prior. I have known this for awhile and just have never "done it". But there have been a multitude of factors that caused that too.

Anyway...in today's competitive market, I am finding that even with a MASTER's sometines it is STILL rediculously hard (especially in the most miserable city in america which has the 2nd HIGHEST unemployment rate) to find a job that 11-teen-hun'ned people aren't also vieing for. So...not only will an additional degree increase my KNOWLEDGE, but hopefully it will help me with the motivation for this whole thing...MORE MONEY PEOPLE!!!!!!! LOL

The other thing that motivated me this week was that in my department, I watched as a 27-year old administrative assitant (white of course) in another city was put into the position that I hold, given a $9,000 increase and is only $2,000 LESS than me in Salary..... why am I so mad about this??? Because she has not ONE.FUCKING.STITCH of Human Resources experience!!!!! This bitch works with the team that she will be responsible for supporting currently and this is how they "excused" the teensy-little-elephant-in-the-room called this BITCH HAS NO EXPERIENCE DOING WHAT THE FUCK WE DO! ANd I am supposed to sit here like the damn Chesshire Cat and smile at this shit right???? HELL NO! That is some bullshit! This bitch was previously an admin and a campaign helper (per her resume) and she is doing what me, who has 11 years of experience in MANY areas of HR (including 7 in management) and will be making a measly $2k LESS THAN ME?????? Fuck that! I need to diversify and edify myself. I gotta get the FUCK out of here! This is the very shit that makes people feel unappreciated and not like doing ONE.DAMN.THING.EXTRA for a company!!!! I will NOT be going above and beyond for these assholes! NOPE! This grand announcement was made a couple weeks ago and I am STILL pissed about it! Can't you tell?

So I need to get on the ball because these "others" are winning at MY game and I need to even (even a little) the playing field!

Game on!

I applied to one place today and I am meeting with another advisor in a week or so.... keep ya finda's crossed!!!

V-Day doesn't have to equal D-Day!

Hey all!!!

So, yesterday was The BIG V-DAY! I know that there are plenty of women who were feeling down because of the fact that they were not with someone. At periods in my life, I was that woman.

The fact of the matter is that it is O.K. if you like the cards and flowers and candy! It is O.K. of you love the fact that everyone at work sees that you got some flowers, but it is also O.K. if you don;t have anyone to love but you. It took me a long time to realize that. A long time.

I still like all the "commercialized things" that come with this and other days (i.e sweetest day...it's a midwest thing for all of ya'll that DON'T know... :-)) but if all me & my husband do is wish each other a "Happy Valentine's Day" or a "Happy Sweetest Day" , that is good with me too :-) (now.....don't talk about birthdays... that's a whole other situation! LOL)


Anyway as a sidebar, in a related post I read, there were some things that REALLY made some sense to me....These are quotes from Funky Fresh's page regarding his thoughts on V-day. In terms of those of us in relationships, this day can have a variety of meanings , but I think that the following sentiment applies to everyday life when it comes to those in relationships, not just for this day:

I used to be a “I don’t celebrate” the day type of dude. But the older I got, the more I realized that if a card, a gift, a romantic dinner, flowers, whatever, makes her happy, then I’m doing it. It may not be a big deal for me, but it’s a big deal for her and since she’s with me, it’s a big deal for me.

And this, my friends is the way it should frickin be! If it is a big deal to ME (or vice versa) it should be a big deal to my huaband/boyfriend, etc. Why can't more men be like that??? Maybe it's not in their DNA! Take my husband for example, it took him a minute to understand and take it seriously that I feel VERY strongly about my birthday and Christmas!!! (however commercialized those days may be....whatever, it's my feelings that count!) But he finally got it! I just think that if the man gives a damn, YOUR FEELINGS will matter and if they don't....people there is a problem in Zamunda..... LOL

Another of Fresh's thoughts on love......

Third, some of you are with someone right now who you are trying to figure out. You have all of these needs and wants. You want love but you don’t feel like you’re getting it. For one thing, make sure you’re not in love with the concept of love. Be in love with the value of love.

I like this one too. When you are young you think you know what love it, but you haven't EXPERIENCED all of the facets of love until you come to that place where you just know that you know. I know that I am much more sure of love and it's place in my life, but I have also learned to love myself more.

Feel me?

What a Blast!/Jobs

In Detroit, we have this now yearly event called the
"Winter Blast" where there is Ice Skating, a giant Snow slide and all kinds of family events. So... we go to the Winter Blast and this lil boy wanted (of all things) a snow cone! LOL




He also wanted Mommmy to eat it with him.




Anyway, we went to the winted blast on Sat. and it was COLD as hell AND raining (you know black women don't fuck wit the rain right????) and I had to wear a hat earlier in the day when it was raining that was making me sweat out my ***JUST-DONE-THE-DAY-BEFORE*** hair) grrrr.......




So, why was my child HELL bent on "ice skating" and got on the ice and IMMEDIATELY fell?! He was like " I'm ain't going back" LOL Well, here is the issue.. neither Mommy NOR Daddy can Ice skate, so that was the END of our adventures in Ice Skating! LOL We'llhave to do better next year.





So, on to the Ice Slide... Mommy took pictures and daddy and the boy went on that too!






And then we had to be made into Spiderman.......



After that it was a wrap! Time for all to go home a relax a bit since we'd been in the COLD for 4 hours by this point! LOL

Fun times with the family! :-)

Job Update

So you know I am still looking for another job. How about I went to an interview for a Dir. of Admissions for a computer training group in the city where I live(so convenient!) and this muthafucka said " the hours of work are 10-8pm Mon through Thurs. (his ass coulda stopped RIGHT.THERE) and 10-4 on Friday with every other saturday for 4 hours. WTF????????? And these idiot's are not paying a great base and of COURSE there is a "sales" component to it..... I zoned completely out of the rest of the FIFTEEN MINUTE (that's how long everyone's preliminary interviews were) after he satarted talking that mess about a 10-8pm schedule! even if I WANTED to, I couldn't do that shit! I wanted to slap the man and tell him WHY IN THE HELL didn't you put this ish on the website so that people wouldn't even WASTE their time interviewing when the damn hours of the job are so out of the norm???? They are stupid!

So..... the search continues.....

Blessings come down when prayers go up!

Sooooo… dreams really do come true!!!

I could pretty much CANCEL my last post because my girl TooSerious called our old hair stylist to find that she is RETURNING TO DOING HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooo excited that I can’t even SPEAK!!!!

She said when she called our old stylist that she said that she was coming back to part-time (which was what she was doing anyway) and that she will be coming back in a month or so!

I cannot even TELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ya’ll how geeked I am!!!!! I am just waiting to hear it from her own mouth too (I have already left a voice message for her )!! LOL

But I am taking this as the gospel and solidifying my SPOT already! 5:30 baby!!! Every Friday!

WOOO HOO!!!

And I will leave you with this: ……..God does answer prayers :-)

Picture day!

So I attended my first wedding as a "photographic assistant", and boy can I tell ya! Photographers work their BUTTS off (well the good ones do). I mean the two guys that I was shadowing take between 2,500 and 3,000 pictures between the two of them! WOW! I mean, they take alot of pictures and then edit quite a few of them

The only bad part of this day was that I had to "ask on the fly" when they could sneak in a second or 10...literally! But I was able to get a better idea of what they do. That is a good thing :-) So, this is the first step. Next comes me getting serious about learning the "photoshop tutorials" that I have had for LITERLLY a year or so and then going to my mentors house and watching him and sitting with him as he edits some pictures ! YEA!!!

Computer
So... I finally got my computer after much drama.... Where to begin..... I had the perrrfect monitor picked out (that was not coming from Dell) and it was at Best Buy. So, I go online 3 days before I was goign to get it and it waxs available in 4 locations. I go in the DAY before I was to get the computer and the monitor was not available in not ONE STORE in the Detroit Metropolitan area! Can you say pissed? Because THAT meant I would have to ORDER it and WAIT for it.

**sidenote** when it comes to getting something that I reeeeally am looking forward to, there had better not be ONE thing standing in my way or I will be all jacked up!

So... I order it and THANKFULLY it came the day BEFORE the computer. On to the computer...FedEx SUCKS! I fought with THESE muthascratchers because since I was not at home for the 1st attempt (when we waited alllllllllllllll day on Satruday until 4:00 and their asses came at 5:30!!!!!!) I wanted the package to be held. Now.... there is a Fed Ex Express location that is 2 miles from my house. No prob, so I call the Fed Ex number and they tell me that it CANNOT be held there because the Fed Ex EXPRESS is as different from the Fed Ex **Home Delivery** system as DHL is from UPS. WTF?????? Soooo... this meant that they told me that i had to go 15 miles from my house (inconveniencing me, though I PAID for delivery of this item AND there is Some type-a Fed Ex location RIGHT aroudn the corner!!!!) to a WAREHOUSE location and that I had to go during their "pick up hours"!!! WTF???? am I the customer or a delivery person???????????????

Anyway... I got my lovely computer and went to go load stuff on it. Now, I don;t know if you all have heard but there are MANNNY problems with the New Microsoft Vista. **raising hand** I have one ALREADY! I believe that I have narrowed it down (via going on chat forums,etc) to the fact that when I loaded my MICROSOFT Zune software on, it is CLASHING with something in this damn computer and is causing my system to NOT be able to go into "sleep" or "hibernate" mode (you know how your screen will go blan eventually when you haven't used it in ahile??? Well, at this point mine won;t do that. I do NOT want to DELETE my Zune software because I NEED IT to be able to use my Zune and get monthly updates that allow me to listen to my music at ALL on my Zune!

***SIGH*** I am frustrated already.So, I have just been turning my monitor off when I am done until I can get up the energy to seek out a solution.

But riddle me this.... WHY IN THE HELL is MICROSOFT Zune software incompatible with MICROSOFT Vista?????? I swear if I could SLAP Bill Gates for THIS screw-up I would! GRRRR........

Anyway.... other than THAT, the computer's speed is PHENOMENAL!!! I am sooooo impressed with it! I LOVE IT!!!! I got my heater (check!) so that I am not so cold in the basement, I have my cable hooked back up to the tv (check!) so that I can watch at least the basic cable stations, I have most of my software loaded back onto the computer (check!)and I have my desk set up (check!)

I am ready to go!

Hairstylists
Me and my girl Diva have long lamented the exodus of our beloved hairstylist to the realm of "stay-at-home-mommyhood". Well, I swear Friday reached an all-time frustration. I was soooo "calmly-frustrated" and by that I mean...ahve you ever been sooooooo upset about something that you simply have no energy or recourse other than to "be still" and calm? Well, that is how I was on Friday.

I still have not found (after 7 months of trying **new stylists***) someone who #1. I can get a standing appointment with for a time when I can come on a Thursday or a Friday. So, I still alternate every other week with a different stylist.

Well, my FAVORITE of the two and I have had our differences , namely that she REFUSED to give me some color! So, I went and got it from another (actually a 3rd) stylist. There is NO reason that shd should not have given me color and to me, she is one of those "don;t tell me how to do hair because I HAVE the cosmetology license" kinda people. **sigh**. Let's top this off with the fact that she is sloooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Why did I call on Friday to get an early appt and she told me I could come at 4:00pm. Cool! that means I will be getting out earlier, right?! So I go to the shop. Why was there a client who APPARENTLY had JUST SAT down in her chair 1 minute BEFORE I got there(why would you tell me to come at the SAME time as someone else????????). I sat there for a SOLID hour before my head was even TOUCHED whiel she permed and put a color rinse in rhis chick's hair AND blow dryed it (she does not have an assistant)! I was pissed! I ended up being there for 3 1/2 hours and there was only ONE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!! I was so angry.

I told her about herself too when she FINALLY took me in the back to wash me. I said (in a joking way) "Girl you coulda just told me to come at 5:00!!! If I had have known I was gonan have to wait!!!!". She said "I was JUST abotu to apologize for that". (there was another stylist who's station is right next to my stylists back there at the time) and so my stylist says (to the other stylist, but halfway to me) " our clients just be dogggggin' us... we don;t want them to be sitting here all day...it's not intentional.... April did you see how Robyn just "went off" on me..... I'm sensitive". And I believe she is serious! But I have NO TIME for your "sensitivities" when I am paying you MY HARD EARNED cash! And then she had the NERVE to "jokingly" say "wellllll.... I COULDA just had you come atc'ho REGULAR time (5:30)!!!" WTF????? I was taken aback!!! I said back " Yup! You sho'll could have and I coulda been CHILLIN at my damn HOUSE instead of SIT.TING up in HERE for no reason!" Bitch don't get smart with me (even though it was said in a nice-nasty way)!!!!!! You will get gone off on FOR REAL!!!!

I have stayed with her this long because she IS good and she does take alot of CARE with my hair and she is 4 miles from my house! The other chick I like (stylist #2) is allllllllllllllll the way downtown (i.e. a 25 mile drive from my house)so I therefore found stylist #3 (who put my color in and is 2 miles from my house, but she is slow too). I just can't get it together man......

I am still upset even now to be honest because my time is precious and as my husband indicated "this should be your time to relax but you are so frustrated that you don't even ENJOY the service you are getting". He is right, but what can I do about it? Nothing but try to find someone else....for the 90th time.....that soooo does not interest me because I have TRIED tooooo many people and paid money for bullshit. So I am just all jacked up in terms of what to do abotu this salon-situation. I have uber short hair so I CANNOT just "go without" getting my wig done, nor can I "just wrap my mind around" the fact that I will "just have to wait". It's just Pure-D frustrating! And I feel like she (this particular stylist) has me by the jugular...... i think i may start looking again.

Photo Op's

Do you remember me telling you about the WONDERFUL photographer that I had take some engagement pictures for me? I have always wanted to shadow with him so badly but he was just soooooo very busy that he simply was inundated with work.

But I didn’t ever tell ya’ll about the convo that ensued when I first called my “photography mentor” to get his input on what computer I should get and what happened. So, here goes:

I reached out to him and after all the niceties (how are you, how’s the fam,etc.) he goes (not in a “I’m checking you” way)

Him: I need to apologize to you

Me: **confused as hell as I had not talked to him in over a year** For what?

Him: I want to apologize if you even thought that I didn’t want to help you be better in your photography endeavors (now I am really confused)…….I went to a trade show in LAS VEGAS and I was talking to this guy and he said that he had read YOUR BLOG and that you felt that I brushed you off and that I may not have wanted to help you in your education in the business and I wanted you to know that I would neeeeever blow you off and I am so sorry if I EVER gave you that impression

Me: **holy SHIT!!!....my mouth was open in embarrassment over the phone because, 1. I sooooo don’t EVER remember being negative and dogging him on here nor did I think I would mention his name if I had have said something NEGATIVE because I really do like him! But it HAS to be true (though I have searched my blog and cannot find not ONE reference to him by name, so I am sooo confused as to how he or that person knows this) because how would he have known?????? But I guess I said it somewhere…..sigh!!!***

Me: So, this person said that he read my blog? Uh…. (trying to sound nonchalant)so…. who was this person?

Him: Just a guy that Googled my name and came up with YOUR PAGE (which I did at that exact moment that we were talking and I came up with not ONE link to my frickin page).

Me: Ohhhhh….. ***not knowing what to say because I was soooo embarrassed***

Me: Well _____ (I will never use his name again…LOL), I am soooo sorry if I said that and I really don’t think I said it in that way if I did…. I would have meant (trying to backpedal and explain to one of my FAVORITE photographers why I was allegedly dogging him) it in the way of ‘I wish he had more time for me’ not in the I think he is just being mean and not wanting to help me way….. I am sooooo sorry _____ !!

So after these awkward moments and TWO HOURS of conversation which was WONDERFUL, he was like (I was wondering if it was out of a wee bit of guilt  ) “well I would be more than happy to show you some tricks and techniques if you would like.” So we set up an appt and I went over to his house (which is where his studio is in the basement) and I was there for 4 hours! I had such an informative and good time! He showed me his “editing” studio and I (seeing as though I literally have 1/20 of the equipment….or less…than he does) was sooooo overwhelmed (in a good way for the most part though). I did realize that I simply need several things that are “basic” to serious photographers and I have so little money so THAT was a little depressing because I want to really start doing BETTER pictures, but BETTER pictures is a combo of BETTER technology AND more experience doing it.

Well, at least it looks like I might get my wish at least in the latter portion! I am sooooo excited people! His work is beyond phenomenal and guess what?

HE IS GOING TO LET ME BE AN APPRENTICE!!!!!!

I am soooooooooooooooo excited I can hardly compose myself! It won’t be all the time, but he said “ You have the desire and I am going to SEE TO IT that you develop into what you want to be”.

Wow.

This is what I have been wanting for so long, that I am sitting here about to cry with excitement as I type this! I am going to a wedding this Saturday with he and his partner and will be shadowing him all day!!! YEA!!!! Yes, it will be a long day, but I NEED to see how it’s done and see how he works! His schedule is a little bit lighter now because it’s not the “peak” of the photography season, so he has a little bit more time now. I couldn’t be HAPPIER! His assistant and his wife are EQUALLY endearing and wonderful and I am so very comfortable with them all and have been from the first time that we met.

This is the start of my dream come true :-)

Oh, and my computer is on the way, so I am TRULY geeked now!!!!!

Another one bites the dust

I have never had a computer die on me, but the one I had for 3 years did about 2 weeks ago ***big dramatic sigh***. And with it died my ability to retrieve a wholllllllllle buncha pictures. That is all I am really concerned about are my pictures. I had put quite a bit onto CD, like the ones that I have taken for people, but as for my personal ones, well....most of those were on my hardrive!

Oh, whoa is me! whoa is ME! I know I shoulda known better and I did, but there seemed to always be something more urgent than for me to spend the $130 to get aback up drive. I had a lower end laptop and I probably should have known better. Afterthoughts are just that though....after. thoughts. DAMN!!

So, I went into immediate "look for a new computer mode". Do I have the money to get one right now? No. But can I do without one, especially seeing as though I have some pics that I took of this family oh, let's say 2 1/2 WEEKS ago at this point that I need to edit and get back to them???!!! HELL NO!!!I also have half been waiting on this (hee hee). You see, my husband is of the "we are broke as hell and it doesn't make sense to spend money on shit when we do not have to". While I understand this philosophy, I am a spender by nature, so I like to "make it happen, cap'n". This is a fundamental difference in the way we look at money: He's a saver and could care LESS about a damn electronic ANYTHING and I am a spender and if I were "allowed to" would have THE newest, most updated electronic WHATEVER at least once a year! I just love the stuff **shrug**. So, though I am MOST upset that I may not be able to get my pictures off ( I had pics that I had never printed out of my son when he was a baby,etc) I am OVERJOYED that I get to get a new computer.

So, we (of course) are arguing over how much this computer is going to cost. My thing: I am doing photography. I neeeeed a fast processor because that was one of my MAIN gripes with that old one! It was a slowwwwwwwwwwww as molasses processor! It sometimes I would be trying to open folders from my SD card that had large file sizes I swear I could cook dinner, go to the mall and have a pedicure in the timie it took for that mug to just open up a folder in thumbnail size on the SD disk (if the folder had like 50 large size pictures on it)!!! I HATED that computer once I started really doing my photography. Because it was just NOT easy and fast! But I also knew that the electonics-Nazi would not allow me to get a new computer. Him: "Do you even KNOW that the reason that it's slow is because of the processor?" Me: No. "well maybe it just needs to be defragmented or maybe it this or maybe it that.....blah, blah, blah". (irritated ass sigh). I don't feel like going through a buncha diagnostics when I know ENOUGH about computers to know that I was 99% sure that it was because of what I said: the processor was slow (not much RAM which is why it was dirt-dog-dirty cheap)and I got a lower end computer which NOW had alot of it's memory taken up!! But he needs emprical proof and evidence for ALL things related to money **rolling my eyes**.

We really do not see eye to eye on stuff like this (can't you tell?). He wants proof and parcel of the reason that we needed a new computer PRIOR to it blowing up because he's like "we broke!" which is mostly true I will give him that because since my position was eliminated Nov. 06 my salary has DROPPED by $15-16K a year. Yeah. So I knew that the ONLY way I was gon get a new one was for something irreparable to happen. And you KNOW the only reason I am getting one NOW (as opposed to waiting until some undetermined point in time) is because I NEED this to do my photography business and this computer is essential to me MAKING extra money, right??? However it came, I am glad that it came!! So, my angst in losing the other is heavily laden with excitement on getting a new computer :-)

And the silver lining is that my girl said that she MAY be able to pull some stuff off the hardrive because I tried to take it to Geeksquad at Best Buy and they were like "uh, we can't pull it off but we could send it to our data recovery place and their prices START at $259.00- $1,600.00". You know I gave them the "African are you FLIPPIN CRAZY " look and walked my behind RIGHT outta there right? So, thank you girl for offering to try to pull my stuff off of this computer!

And even though my husband was NOT happy at the price of my new system (because we got this other computer on a "Day-after-Christmas-when-I-stood-my-ass-out-in-the-cold-at-BEST-BUY-like-you-see-them-crazy-ass-people-do-and-got-a-rediculous-deal-on-thisl-ow-end-computer-deal" , I know that this is what I NEED if he wants me to really "get going" on my business. So.... I am not worried. My job allows us to take out an INTEREST FREE computer loan so that is how I am getting this fine piece of machcinery! It is repaid through payroll decutions in pretty much whatever amount that you would like. No-brainer. My new computer is also very capable of seeing me into the next "cycle" of computers because of the upgraded processor that I am getting on it. So, I am happy :-) I am like a kid at Christmas!! Buying stuff like THIS makes me soooo happy :-)

The only down side is that because THIS is a desktop I will have to keep it in the basement....the cold, cement, unfinished basement becuase that is where my "desk" (that I never use) is and that is the ONLY place (because my house is so damn small) that it can be placed. There is no "office"and no room in any other room to put it. I am going to also buy a heater to put down there because I will be down there everyday. My laptop (much to my husband's dislike) was pretty much permanently perched on the kitchen table **shrug**. That was the only place (other than the basement) where it could be and at least it was portable! So, that is the only downside, but I spent 3 hours yesterday in preparation for my "baby" to come home. I had to change the location of my desk because since there is only ONE power outlet that was put in (because , remember the basement is UNFINISHED) I needed the desk to be NEAR that outlet! Besides I wanted to change it becuase where it was is where I wanted to relocate my makeshift "photo studio" anyway! So, I am going to IKEA today to get some rugs as there was already a 12 x 12 berber carpet remnant over near where the desk used to be (and I am leaving it there so that when people come over to take pictures they will be stepping on carpet and not cement, get me?). So, I foudn two rugs and I am off and runnin!

My baby(a Dell) is not going to be here for another week-10 days ***impatiently tapping fingers*** But, I will have to post a picture of me and my new baby once she makes her arrival :-)

Twas the night AFTER Christmas...

So, as I sit here on the eve of New Year's Eve...I am reflective of all that has happened in my world this year. Some good....some bad.....but all apparently by the will of God. But I pause to think sometimes "did I CAUSE x,y,z to happen", or was it simply my actions that caused these things to happen.

In any case, things happen, friends die, babies are born, laughs and tears are shared amongst confidantes and the world goes on. But life is good...life is VERY good and I try to never forget that.

While my husband and son are gone today, I have had the atypical chance to have the house to myself. And I have been sitting here and thinking about a resolute list of resolutions that I want to put together for the upcoming new year. I feel as though this year once again, has flown by and it seems that I have again, not accomplished some of the things that I wanted to this year. Maybe I am hard on myself, but I really want next year to be better than this year :-)

Boy time has a way of "slipping into darkness"!!LOL In my assessment of my life and what I want to do with it, I of course, must take my family into account, but being that they support me, I guess it may be just ME holding ME back!

***thinking to self..."hmmmmm".....***

So, I am about to put together a realistic list that I truly BELIEVE that I can accomplish after all there is nothing BETTER than the feeling of accomplishment.....I haven't felt that much this year, so..... we are off to the race folks!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

What (if anything) are your plans for the new year?

Snow & Lack of Santa

Well, I don't know about YOU all's weekend, but mine has been ummm...interesting....

Well, to start, I tried to take the little one to see Santa at our local Hoighty-Toighty mall, The Somerset Collection. It's not that far from where I live and it has a BEAUTIFUL set in which Santa sits. It is the best of ALL the malls by far! Now.... ya'll that have been with me for awhile know that I am a budding photog, so that means I am not paying your extortive $10 for ONE picture with Santa... I will kindly plop my child on his lap and take the damn picture my-DAYUM-self and get 30 Christmas Cards printed from them at the local camera store (also located conveniently RIGHT in the same mall) for the same $10 (give or take a few dollars).

So. My girlfriend who's daughter used to go to pre-school with my son called me and asked if I would be willing to do just what I just described (we do it at Easter too) on Saturday, I said "SUUUURE... I have to take him anyway because we haven't been to see Santa". And as all of you parents know, since he is now 3 1/2 THIS is the year where he "gets it". Last year, kinda and year before, not at ALL. But THIS YEAR, we are SANTA ready baby!

So, after going to my OTHER girlfriend's house to take family Christmas pictures for her of she and her hubby and my Godchild, I came home, rested a minute and then trucked on out the the mall. We get there and I see this white guy that I work with, so we make chit-chat and I am like "yeah, we are here to take these two to see Santa". He goes "what time is your appointment?"


****record scratching *****


Me: what did you say??? Appointment?? You have to have an APPOINT.MENT to see frickin SAN.TA CL.AUS?????

Him: Yes, and we got our appointment for 6:18 THIS MORNING at 10:30!

Me: WHAT???? **thinking expletives in my head but refraining due to the gaggle of children in my midst**

Him: Yeah... you might not be taking any pictures today if you do not have that....

Me: uh.... yeah **looking at my girl whose mouth was agape in disbelief**

Now, my mind begins to race because I KNEW what he said to nbe true that there was probably NO WAY in HELL that we were sitting atop Santa's red velvet pants on THAT day! But the bad thing..... this year, he "gets it".... I KNEW that I was probably going to have to deal with him crying and SCREAMING since I had been telling him ALL DAY that we WERE going to see Santa!!!!

And furthermore , what happened to the "your ass just GOES and WAITS in line" like when I was a kid??? So, I go to the counter and this is the discourse between me and "santa's lil helper" at the counter:

Me: **looking at a sign that says "all of the appointments for pictures with Santa are filled for today..please come back tomorrow"** Oh,...so I see that all of the "appointments" are taken..... have you had any cancellations?

SLH: Well, the thing is that if someone doesn't come, the next people just kinda move up..... just like if they were in line, so there really are no cancellations, per se.

Me: Sooo...... why are there APPOINT.MENTS if there's no ability to cancel them? How can you have an up without a down? Maybe I am not understanding....

SLH: Well, if say you were unable to make it, the next family could just step up, so it's kinda on a first come first serve basis, and that is why we hand out the times to show up, so you won't HAVE to stand in line...even though the system functions like a virtual "line".

Me: **getting REAL irriatated** So, is there any way if someone DOESN'T come that I could just TAKE their slot???

SLH: Well, no....becuase other people have had their appointments for most of the day and we would just move them up.

***dead look***

Me: Ok. so... can I get an appointment for TOM.ORROW ?

SLH: Oh, well.... you have to come BACK first thing tomorrow morning to get the "appointment", we don't give them out in a day in advance.

Me: WHAT??? Are you serious?????? So, I have to come BACK just to get a ticket??? and then leave AGAIN and come BACK some 2, 3, 4-6 hours LATER????? That is the stupidest system I have even heard of!! People don't have time to keep running back and forth to a mall! That's rediculous!

SLH: **looking bewildered and speechless

Me: **to my friend** let's go..... ***to SLH***.... thank you.

Why did I feel like we were playing the charade of "Who's on First"!!!!!????? Can you say pissed??? I was so angry about that DUMB ASS system that they have to see Santa that I was like (in my mind) "Oh HELL NAW.... he may not be able to see Santa this year!" And I am holding to that shit. Who, but stay at home momma's have time to be running BACK AND FORTH to a frickin mall??

My mind quickly raced baclk to the little Santa-enthusiast holding my hand. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Think fast....this boy is sabout to have a heart-attack.... I called my husband and he was like "tell him that Santa doesn't feel good and that we have to come back".

**blank stare**

Me: Are you SERIOUS???? Do you NOT know your dayum child????? He is TOOOO smart for that and you KNOW he is going to PROBABLY throw a tantrum and then we are gonna have to make our way to the bathroom for a "talk" (none of which I felt like dealing with at that moment as it was alomst 6:00pm)

Him: Give it a try.....

So..... I did and MIRACULOUSLY, it worked! My son was like "awwww poor Santa...we'll come back another day Mom". I was saying to myself " there are miracles"!

So, we trot on home and awake to this this morning:



This is my husband obviously in disbelief over how much HE has to shovel.....


And in case you were wondering no... I do NOT do snow (anymore that is).... I get all sweaty, fuck up my hair (because when I get hot and have on a hat, I sweat HORRIBLY in my head!!!) and I CANNOT do this short ass hair-do OVER. Besides, I TOLD him to get a snowblower..... hhmph.... I will NEVER EVER shovel any snow as long as I have him OR once this lil boy gets old enough! I used to help shovel it (sometimes BY MYSELF IF my husband was at work just because I knew that on a couple of occasions that he would NOT be home until late and that the snow would sit and become compacted from cars rolling over it and that is SUCH a pet peeve of mine!) the first two years that I was here, but now..... fuck it... that is the MAN'S roll to shovel that darn snow! Shit a couple times I was out there and straight UP felt like I was about to have a heart attack!!! SHIIII-IT !!!! Not anymore.... if that shit DOESN'T get shoveled, c'est la vie.... I am rollin over the shit until it melts, hell I have AWD!!!! LOL

Anyway.... it looks like he was getting a workout (hee hee).....


My only question was with this 10-14 inches that have fallen today...WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY couldn't TODAY have happened TO.MOR.ROW?????????????????????????????? DAMN weather! LOL

All I want for Christmas is.....

I was pondering this the other day and came to the conclusion that I really want this Tiffany necklace and this digital camera. Ya'll heard me correctly.... another digital camera. I want this small camera so that when I go out I don't have to ALLLLWAYS drag the big dog out! I can just slide this into my purse or hell, my bra! (just jokes...but that's the reason I want another camera!

I haven't been taking many "professional" pictures of late as I have been an exteremly lazy ass in getting my "light bulb" replaced. This is the first time I will have had to replace it and it's like $20 a pop. Not much but I can't just go to the local wal-mart and get another one. I will either need to order a light or go buy one. Hence I have been lazy becuase I have not been to the camera shop to see if they have it and I really don't evne KNOW what it's called other than a 500W bulb. O.k.,so I wasn't THAT lazy... I DID order one from Ebay but I did not look at the SPECS on the dayum thing and it was the same look and SHAPE but about 6 times BIGGER than the one that I needed! DAYUUUUUUUUUM!!!! LOL

So, I need to get on my hustle game. With all the drama going on at work and just being drained from having to deal with MORE work and LESS money... my creative love for is still there, but the energy has waned a bit, but I am coming back....

Hopefully I will be FINALLY taking a class in photography this spring, so that willbe a help as well.

But that's not too bad of a wish list. The other thing , the limited Edition DOoney & Burke Hayden Panatierre bag in Red is SOLD OUT, so I can scratch THAT mug off my list.

So how about ya'll....what do ya'll want for Christmas?

Chicken Fried shit

Hey people! What's good?

I am in a good mood today though you might not know it by the post that it so follow, LOL. So, the other day this black guy that I work with came to me and had a few questions becasue he will be leaving the company because he didn't get a position that he interviewed for (the equivalent to what I do) and he was like "I have to be out.

So, here's the skinny... .this guy was working with the group that he would have been supporting in a new role, he was mature, had a master's degree and was very well suited to the position. It came down to him and three white girls. Basically, the white girl who was well liked by the HAIC (head ass in charge) was the one who got it. Now, I will say that I LIKE here, but I do NOT think that she was MORE qualified than old boy and I know and have worked with them BOTH! First off, her personality does not lend itself to the position (the position is one of basically being the police and making sure that while people are having fun, that they are "doing the right thing" and maintaining a semblance of order...since this typically is a pretty anything-goes type of environment)as she is DITZY-DINGY acting as HELL. BUT, the boss (who knows literally NOTHING about HR, yet was promoted into a high ranking position) LOVES her. Case closed.

I don't know why this insenses me the way it does...but it does. So I was talking to the black guy who didn't get the role and he said this:

"You know, I was watching this Bill Cosby special one day and he was talking about steak.... say I have this beautiful Ribeye, nice and fresh, I season it well, cook it on the grill, medium to medium well, it's juicy and looks scrumptious right? Do you want that steak? If you like steak you probably would say "Hell YEAH I want that steak!!".....now..... I am going to place this steak on a maggot encrusted garbage can lid as your plate....do you still want it?? You would say "Uh...that's O.K.". "

And my friend likened this story to our company.... and I agree....there are some reeeeally attractive things about our company and some REALLY good things in the way that they do things in general, but for real, for real.....the bad in SOME WAYS outweigh the good (e.g. the way there are NO people of color at the upper levels of management because the owner who started this 4,000+ people company has his "boys" and what-not up in those levels)

And that is but one of the reasons that I feel like with less than a year under my belt here....that it's time to go...because I really do not like eating chicken fried shit.

I am trying to live this .... cause I sho'll hope he closes up this WORK door at this place I work soon! I think I'd look FORWARD to that being a done deal!!! But I better be careful of what I ask for right? LOL

OPENED AND CLOSED DOORS

We need to learn to thank the Lord for closed doors just as much as we do for open doors. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us.

If he didn't close the wrong door we would never find our way to the right door. Even when we don't realize it, God directs our paths through the closing and opening of doors. When one door closes, it forces us to change our course. Another door closes; it forces us to change our course yet again.

Then finally, we find the open door and walk right into our blessing. But instead of praising God for the closed door (which kept us out of trouble), we get upset because we 'judge by the appearances'. And in our own arrogance...or ignorance, we insist that we know what is right.

We have a very present help in the time of need because He is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of us, He can see trouble down the road and HE sets up road blocks and detours accordingly. But through our lack of wisdom we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour signs. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying 'Lord how could this happen to me?'

We have got to realize that the closed door was a blessing. Didn't He say that 'No good thing will He withhold from them that love Him? '

If you get terminated from your job - don't be down, instead thank God for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves - it might be a better job, or an opportunity to go to school. If that man or woman won't return your call - it might not be them, it might be the Lord setting up a roadblock (just let it go).

One time a person had a bank he had been doing business with for many years tell him 'NO' for a $10,000 loan. The Lord led him to call another bank. That bank approved a $40,000 loan for him at a lower interest rate than his own bank had advertised.

I'm so grateful, for the many times God has closed doors to me, just to open them in the most unexpected places. 'The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.' (Psalms 37:23) The mountain top is glorious, but it is in the Valley that I will grow!

Always Remember God gives you...
Enough Happiness to keep you Sweet
Enough Trials to keep you Strong
Enough Sorrows to keep you Human
Enough Hope to keep you Happy
Enough Failure to keep you Humble
Enough Success to keep you Eager
Enough Friends to give you Comfort
Enough Wealth to meet your Needs
Enough Enthusiasm to make you look forward
Enough Faith to banish depression, and
Enough Determination to make each day a better day than the last.

Life must be lived forward but can only be understood backwards.
Commit to the Lord in whatever you do and your plans will succeed.
(Proverbs 16:3)

Scared

I just figured out why I have been feeling the way that I have about my job. Why I am scared.....

I am constantly being asked to do more (i.e. I just had to work on this past Saturday...(yeah ya'll I did it), create a training module, being the facilitator of two other training classes (other peers are too) ) and I feel that I am not getting the money I deserve.

My girl who works with me and is in charge of almost ALL of the increase letters (EXCEPT for HR) told me that she was talking to my boss the other day about the new position that is now open on our team because someone left. Well... my boss said "I want the new person to come in in that "jr.role" like we had (me) do...even though she (me) got thrown into a "real" role and did not do the jr. position for long....."

Oh squo? I am doing the work ,have been doing the work and you realize this and yo BLACK ASS (she is black if I hadn't mentioned that before) ain't trying to get me paid (like you promised when I TOOK this job????)

Well, I guess the old addage is true..... you have to FIGHT for yourself! And now we are at the crux of the reason I am scared. I am scared that if I fight for this, bringing this up when this company is being SUPER cheap and we STILL are not doing ANY hiring except for in other states, that IF, JUST IF I am not given my just due (and being that I am armed with the secret knowledge that someone who does what I do, just had THEIR pay bumped up),IF, JUST IF the answer is no.....

I am scared that my attitude will be SO BAD that it will be evident and that I will start a downward spiral towards being "one of those employeees". You see.... you can only get over on the back of MY works for so long now that I am older. The older I have gotten, the SHORTER my tolerance is for mess like that! And I have HAD it with this company making changes LITERALLY like people change their fucking underwear and having the "you outta be HAPPY we kept you around" attitude about every.single.worker up in here!

So.... I am scared that IF I am not given my just due in the way of CASH, that until I find another job that I will not be able to HIDE my anger and resentment. I do not want to do it, but I know me and it will be EXTREMELY difficult for me to keep being REQUIRED (not given the option) to do shit and not have an attitude! I know me.... I have lived with me for a long time and now is NOT the time to get a new job (around X-mas it is ALWAYS harder to find a new job because in corporate america, it's the end-of-the-year). I do not want to get fired, but I will be very upset if this does not go my way (which I am really doubting it will given trend predictions of late).....

And I am scared that I will not be able to hide it......

Halloween

Well, me & my husband went out for the first "real" Halloween with my son. The reason I say first "real" Halloween is because he was not quite "understanding" the fun of it all last year.

So, up until the LAST 2 hours before I went to pick him up from school, I was having the "what the hell are we gonna do with him and where are we gonna take him" conversation with his Dad! We live in a suburb, and it is a predominantly black middle-class suburb righ outside of Detroit. But the thing is, these nig-ro's don;t trick or treat much around here! wtf???? I guess technically I am no better because there was NO ONE at my crib handing out candy either!

We ended up calling our friends who used to be neighbors that lived directly across the street from us and went to therir "new", more upscale neighborhood. Well, they have an 18 month old girl, so they were going trick or treating too, so we decided to tag along! It was Batman and the Ballerina! lol !


The ballerina and Batman!

Can I tell you that there were soooooo many houses to trick or treat from in their subdivision that we got tired and eventually called it a night??? That and it started to rain a little bit and though I had come prepared ( I CANNOT be caught in the rain....not with this short-ass hair cut that I CANNOT re-curl my dayum self!)we were done and my little one told me "O.K. Mommy I am ready to go back and have some pizza! I am like why is it that the black ass neighborhood (which is a nice area too) that I live in not involved in the trick or treating??????



But check it.... whyyyyy did this child want to stop and look at what he got after EVERY person handed him something.....like he was a dayum inspector! THEN!!! (oh lawd) we went to this one guy's house (it was actually the last house we went to) and he was giving out small bags of pretzels. WHYYYYYYYYYYYY did my son say "I don't WANT any pretzels" and went to place them BACK in the basket!!! I wanted to faint. I grabed them before he did and was trying to say "we will take them and eat them later" (because he had JUST eaten some earlier that day when I piked him up from school!!! WTF??????LOL). Don't you know this boy went and tried to take them AGAIN and put them back!!!! I snatched him off that porch and pinched the SHIT outta him as our friends daughter and other kids distracted the scene I was having in the dimly lit foliage away from this man's door! I said "you don't EVER act ungrateful when someone giveds you something!They do not OWE you ANYTHING!!! You WILL take it and you WILL say thank you (which he is very god at anyway) and you will NOT ask for anything else!"




On The Hunt for Candy in October!!!


I was so mad I coulda spanked him right there! I know he's only 3 and (almost)1/2, but still! I was outdone! So.... that was our evening! We went back and ate pizza and of COURSE he went to bed LATE as crap, so I wil be letting him sleep late :-)



Tired Mommy and WIRED Batman!!

You married who???

Me and my husband and the little one went to a birthday party yesterday for one of my son's classmates. Now this classmates Mom went to high school with me and is either 1 or 2 years older than me.

So we get there and we go downstairs, see other parents we know and start chatting in general.. all of a sudden, I see this man....who was the father of this guy that I grew up with. You see, I lived in an apartment building growing up, and the son lived there with his Mom and StepDad, so we were cool even though he was like 4 years older than me and you KNOW at that age (teenage years) that 4 years DO make a difference, so though we were cool, we didn;t really start having "real conversations until I was in high school and would see him at parties,etc.

Annnnnyway......

So we're sitting there and when this man peeks his head around the corner, I recognized him instantly! Top that off with the fact that the man (we'll call him Cool Daddy) was ALSO one of my 9th grade teachers at my high school! So, I knew him VERY well!

So, I am tripping right?! I go to the mother of the son that was having the party and say "Was that Cool Daddy I just saw????" She says "Yes!" and then looks a little worried, as I am standing there saying "oh my God, I can't believe it! I am tripping that that is Cool Daddy!!!" So she says (with a slightly fading smile at this poinit) "Yeah... is everythign o.k.?". So then I snapped out of my reverie and said "Oh, yes! No... I was just tripping because I haven't seen him in so long and he was my teacher and I know his son."

She smiled and I said "So... is that your father?"


*****CRICKETS********


******DEAD FUCKING SILENCE*****


"no...that's, my husband"



***CRASSSSSH****(that was the sound of my face falling on the floor and CRACKING)

I was so embarassed and then one of her APPARENTLY GHETTO-ASS co-workers (the host is not ghetto at ALL or by any stretch of the imagination!) said "Did she say what I said..DID SHE SAY THAT???? HAAAA hAAAAAA!!!" I wanted to slap her dumb ass for calling EVEN MORE attention to it!! Apprently, this co-worker has been working with her for awhile and apparntly SHE said the same thing YEARS ago when she met her "husband" ! I wanted to die. My husband said (when I told him what had happened) "well, I guess YOU won't be invited over again!" (I wanted to slap him too!)

So, here's the skinny on this: This TEACHER was always RUMORED to be fucking around with UNDERAGE girls back when I WAS in high school! It was alleged that he flirted and had sex with high school girls. I never actually KNEW someone who he had been with, but my girl, Dr. Diva said the same thing(cause you KNOW I called her as SOON as I got home to tell her!). She also called her Dad and brother and Mom (who worked for the school board AND knew him too) and her Dad said that he had "heard" about him doing the same type of shit after he left the school. We always heard stuff like that and I actually think he may have been eventually FIRED because of his behavior. My thing is: Didn't chick that he is marreid to hear this????? She was there when I was there too!!!! If she didn't she had to have been under a rock! Because though our school was big...."things" about teachers who were "not right" floated aroudn quicker than a wildfire spreads! I have also heard some other ill shit that is "purported" to have taken place with young-ass girls (i.e. 20-30 years YOUNGER than him)after he left the school..... dunno.... I hope for her sake that he has stopped his philandering ways!

But I felt bad because the whole "daddy" thing was second nature for me to say! He is old as CRAP! He has a son that is either 40 OR 41 and a FOUR YEAR OLD!!! WTF?????? WOW. Oh, and chick DID let me know that though she was trying to 1/2 ass "fake it" in words like it was all good, that she DID have a tude behind my saying what I said!

But in the words of Dr. Diva, "That chick HAS to get that shit ALL the time... and she KNEW that he was a popular teacher and she should EXPECT that shit when she maarried an old ass nigga anyway!"

I rest my case and don't feel bad AT ALL since she brought me back to reality!!! LOL

But still... WOW.... you married WHO???????????????

Black African Bootyscratchers?

Why is it that some men look at certain aspects of grooming as "un-manly". By this I mean, getting a their nails trimmed and feet groomed. Or it could mean getting a facial and just being neat and clean. Just keeping neat in general! But for real, my REAL pet peeve is hairy PITS and hairy BALLS! Now I am by NO means saying you need to go Brazilian waxing these areas, but what is wrong to trimming them and KEEPY them trimmed to about 1/2 an inch worth of hair??? It takes 2 seconds to buzz them pits and about 2 minutes to do the balls! I'm just saying ya'll..... keeping that shit cut will keep BACTERIA out of YOUR shit too!!! Hair holds BACTERIA (lok it up...any bacteriologist or run of the mill doctor will tell yo ass that shit, if you doubt what I am saying!) Yeast infections are NOT fun! Keeping your hair cut (upstairs AND below) is a MUST for me!!!

I know that in the archaic days that being a man meant having the requisite neanderthal BUSH under your arms and around your damn balls (I am SURE that shit served puroposes when there was no SOAP and WATER and shit, but NOT now)!!! I cannot STAND a whole swath of hair around a man's "franks and beans"!!!! It LOOKS nasty and the shit HOLDS DIRT, ODOR and BACTERIA! UGH!!!!!!

I could NOT be with a man who had a problem taking care of these areas!!! Ya know... wearing CLEAN clothes that aren't all fucked up and holy or wrinkled all to hell.... as well as keeping your hair cut AND brushed/combed!!!!I just couldn't be with someonw who didn't take enough pride in himself to do these things! I keep MYSELF washed, groomed and combed, and so should YOUR ass if you are my mate! For real ya'll! I TRULY believe in "metrosexual" not meaning HOMOSEXUAL!!! Men that think so are probably CLOSET gay anyway as far as I am concerned or too damn caught up in stereortypical "idea" of what a man should or should not be like. **shaking my damn head** Do these "cavemen" not realize that women WANT a man who takes care of themselves just like ya'll want someone who takes care of HERSELF!

Grooming is not just for women people! I have had some funky-balled negroes in my time and it really did TURN me off!!! Thankfully, there haven't been many....but I repeat I would NOT be with one who didn't take prode in themselves.

Get it together guys! (at least the ones of you to whom this applies!) We expect and deserve better! LOL

Friday Night TV

Hey there!

Me and my gurls went out AGAIN.... this past Friday. We went to the SAME club/sports bar that we went to last week and had a blast again! See below:



(DIVA, Me , Tee)

But whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy was I looking all "greasy" and my girls were looking cool and colleceted??? because MY DUMB ass wore a dayum SWEATER up in that joint and it was hot as hell on fire!!! LOL

This was a lil different though because there were waaaaaaaaaay more people there because it was the "2nd" grand opening of the place! So there were people wall-to-wall.

Good times were had by all! I saw some people I haven't seen in a WHILE and had fun chatting it up with them!

On the job front, I still have not found another job, but I am still looking. I am also seriously contemplating REALLY trying to expand my photography ability and go ahead and take some classes and go ahead and get my photography business going.

My husband pointed out something that my best friend and a few others have said: You don't LIKE working a 9 to 5 for someone else! While that is true, I struggle with the who idea of being able to do what I want to do and have the lifesyle that I have while trying to "build" my photography. I CANNOT stop working! For real.

So, while I like "some parts" of HR, I want to hone my photography and get better at that and make THAT my livelihood. I was looking in Black Enterprise last night and this girl made a shop that is a nail/pedicure salon into this cute, eclectic spot in Brooklyn!! Now THAT is what I am talking about!

Moving on and into something new (while also looking for a new 9to5 in the meantime! I mean a sista GOTTA eat!!) LOL