This is bugging me....

The black girl that sits next to me is aloof....off-putting often-times. I think it's me. nah.... can't be. I am one of THE most friendly, easy-to-get-to-know/get-along-with people i know. She is young. And weird. Well....weird in a very private way....

Let me give you some details.....

She is professional and has a more mature "way" about her...older than her years let on. She has a 3 year old boy child whom she parents alone. I feel for her because that is difficult. It is not easy being the mother of a boy with no male parent around. She is extremely private, so I really don't know what her existence is like. Shs is so private that her son , though he has been allowed to be around some guy she is dating, doesn't even know her "kinda-man's" name....nor will she even tell us (ANY of us) her wo-workers his name when we are all talking in general conversation. And I get the "some people are just private" thing.... but if you tell us about him, why would you not tell us a first name???? I mean come on! We WON'T know him girlfriend! WTF???? Please get over your chastity belt wearing uptight ass!!! That bothers me. While NO ONE has to tell their business.... what does it hurt to say a first name???? I mean really.......

Maybe she will open up more once I have been here for awhile....but what's awhile? I have been here for two months all-dayum-ready. (***insert WTF face***)

Back to the son....she wont let her son watch anything (cartoons or otherwise) that isn't "educationally based". Really? He's 3 sis. Ease up.... there will be time for stringent scholarly pursuits later. She also has strict rules as to when and what kind of snacks may be eaten by him,as well as other harbingers of future school teachers.

She is approximately 10 years younger than me. Her with a 3 year old and me with a 4 year old.... there are inherently different parenting styles. She brought her son to work last week because she was leaving early for the day because....she refuses to let him take part in Halloween.....just because.... no religious reason to speak of.... just doesn't believe in it. Won't even let him get a costume as a fluffy bunny to play in....just doesn't believe in it. I think people like this are too serious and need some "happy medicine" or something. He is the cutest and sweetest boy and since I sit right next to her, we became fast friends. I thought that with her as a mom he would be withdrawn and quiet and....well.... like her.

But back to her and I. I like forming some type of "comfortable bond" with the people (ES.PEC.IALLY the black people) that I work with. She won't allow it and I have tried to figure out why. Oh and by the way, it's not just me. There's a guy who ----a black guy----started at the SAME time with me and he said the same thing ----- she's a different bird and seems to not have much to say to us. Maybe she just takes awhile to "warm-up" to people. But I am a person who will say good morning to my "cube-mate" even if I am in a pissy-ass mood. I am the person who will talk to anyone. I am the person who embraces being more friendly with people because I spend more fuckin WAKING hours HERE than at home! She has walked past my cube many times today, without so much as a hello or acknowledgement that she and I have not uttered a word to each other. I'm starting to get an attitude about it....ti being the way she is. And the way my desk faces, you practically look me RIGHT.IN.THE.FACE when you are coming down the path to our desks.

The guy who started with me said " you know, it's like if you ask her a question.... she gives you the SHORTEST answer possible....almost like "can you beat it" type of feeling" . He said it. LOL .But interestingly enough she's best buds with the white chick that sits on the other side of her who is just a few years younger than me & the guy that was hired at the same time as I. (i.e. it CAN'T be the age thing....)

Now, I do not have to be your best friend, but there have been times when I had to ask a question and they were just standing around having general conversation and she all but ignored me....i.e. using non-verbal dis-inclusional cues (e.g. not looking at me, not responding to a comment I make so as to say "umm... you weren't in this conversation and I refuse to acknowledge you", continuing the general conversation until I MAKE my question known).

I don't get it. And really and truly I don't think she's jealous or anything like that. I am not going to say that she doesn't like me either. She's just weird. Maybe I am too "old" for her group. I have felt this same kind of "don't fit in" feeling around my niece (who is 26 ) as I sometimes feel around her. Do I need to necesarily "included"? In a work-friendly sense I guess I feel like it's just the "courteous" thing to do.

She is a grade level lower than us and has less experience than us, yet performs basically the same functions as us. Interesting. Maybe she's intimidated **shrug**. Dunno. But I do know that her essence is starting to get under my skin.....

People.... myyyyyyyyyyyyy people.... I swear the earth is going hell in a handbasket.....look at this mess right here!!!




Just dayum ! LOL

Christmas yearnings....

My son and I went looking through the Toys R'Us Big Toy book the other day, right.... soooo he named AND circled about 25 things he wants and I just had to laugh. I remember doing the SAME thing....OK..... but not at FOUR YEARS OLD!!!

**Insert twisted lips**

I told him that Santa would have to think about his requests and that we would see. HE said "ok mommy" (all dejected)

So, to combat this "I should get" attitude, guess what WE are going to start doing??? DELIVERING FOOD to shelters during the holidays. That is going to be our **New** tradition. So often kids (and adults) can get so caught up in things that don;t matter....the materialistic stuff.

**raising my hand** "my name is Robyn and I am materialistic too many sometimes.... I want to be in the 20 step program"

LOL

So, I think that in these times where jobs are dayum near IMPOSSIBLE to come by, I need to be happy that I have a family that loves me, a great job with good people to work with AND a house that is NOT getting foreclosed on! I think that I am SO LUCKY and fortunate and I want my son to learn to be thankful as well.

It starts with us.... and it still takes a village :-)

On a Sunday....

So,me and the boy have had a cough combined with slight chest congestion for THREE weeks now.... i HAAAAAAATe going to the dr, mostly because #1 I have NO TIME off brcause I JUST started a fuckin job 2 months ago and #2 our co-pays are $30 a fucking PIECE!!!! I know I know.... i need to take him if no one.... **sigh**.... and my husband acts like he can't take him (because he really IS very busy at work) but hs said he would try to take him. Why can't this shit just go AWAY??? I have truly been coughing for about a MONTH now to be honest... I must go tomorrow...this is rediculous.

Bout Time!!!

WORD UP!!! (yeah, I said it...I'm bringing that phrase back!) We WON!!!!!!!!!!



It has been a LONNNNNNNNNNNG time and we finally have our bragging right back!!! YEAH BABY!!!!! Michigan has beaten us since 2001 until yesterday! THAT's a LONG flippin time! We had not won AT Michigan since 1990. WHAT THE?.... 19.90?????

That's a SHAME! I was in college in 1990! DAMN!!!! But they did it. It looked ominous around the middle of the game, but they pulled it off! GO SPARTANS!!!!! I'm so proud!

Time

I have sooo many things to do in a day (as anyone dos) and I seem to always feel that I have NO TIME to just be "me". I swear, it's like the "mentality" of when I was laid-off just won't leave me! Couple that with the fact that by 9:30-10:00pm... I am DONE! And that is with getting up azt 6:30-7:)0 (whihc is LATER than I REALLY should be getting up) and going all day!! It's like, I am rushing to get up, rushing to work, rushing to leave work at 5:00, rushing to get the boy before the 6:00 deadline (which if I leave just 10 minutes late... I may not make it!!), rushing to get dinner or cook, rushing to have him have SOME time with me or to play a game, look at a little tv and do some homework, rushing to feed him and get him ready for bed and rushing him off to bed.

I am AL.WAYS FUCKING RUSHHHHHHHING!!! I HATE.IT !!!!

My husband usually works late so during the week (except on Fridays) I usually have the duty after work until close to the time he is going to bed.

Then I have to wash clothes, clean up ( my husband does help with the cleaning of the kitchen which is great), but I am still rushing. I got so used to NOT rushing when I was off and honestly... I LOVED IT. But me staying home just ISN'T an option! And when do I have time to do the PLETHORA of things I WANT to do (i.e. reading a book ... can't remember the last time I did that!, my warm spirit business, my photography...just reading amd learning more on my own, or just sitting DOWN and watching a little tv)???

I can do it AFTER the boy goes to bed right??? NOT!!! I AM FUCKING TIREEEEEED!!!! I told ya'll, I am one of them people that NEEDS my 8-9 hours of sleep!! I can't be up until 1am just to "do my thing"..... I would NOT have a job because I would fall alseep EVERYDAY! (it's already bad enough that in meetings.... no matter HOW MUCH sleep I get.... after about 15 minutes.... I LITERALLY start to fall sleep. EVERY. TIME. It's terrible!! I'll be sitting there pinching myself, biting my finger and sometimes to NO AVAIL!! Sometimes I have to leace the fucking room and act like i Have to go to the bathroom! I HATE MEETINGS SO MUCH!!! LOL

Anyway.... I have more to be THANKFUL for...so I shall stop the complaining here!

Have a good day ya'll!

Dolemite

LAWD!!!

I just heard that Dolemite has died. Read below:

(Oct. 20) - Comedic actor Rudy Ray Moore, best known to blaxploitation fans as kung fu pimp Dolemite, died Sunday at an Akron nursing home from complications of diabetes, according to media reports. He was 81. His death was first reported by EURweb.com, which was contacted by comedienne Luenell with the news and later confirmed by Moore's daughter.
Moore, born Rudolph Frank Moore, was known as the "king of the party records" and released several raunchy comedy albums in the 1960's and 1970's that were seen as more explicit than peers like Redd Foxx and Richard Pryor.
In 1975, he starred as the title character in "Dolemite," a low budget comedy romp about a rhyming pimp with a stable of karate-loving prostitutes. A sequel, "The Human Tornado," emerged a year later. The persona was developed during his comedy act and included the memorable line "rappin' and tappin' is my game!"
Moore's other acting credits include "Petey Wheatstraw" in 1978 and the blaxploitation film "Disco Godfather" in 1979. In later years Moore collaborated with 2 Live Crew and Snoop Dogg and in 2000 reprised his Dolemite character in the movie "Big Money Hustlas."
He is survived by a daughter, Yvette "Rusty" Wesson, who tells EURweb that funeral ceremonies will be held in Akron and in Spokane, Wash.

Dolemite will be missed and remembered by many that grew up in my era and those in generations past. He was a hilarious, raunchy , down and dirty PIMPTASTIC playa-play from the Himalaya's! And if you find the blaxploitation films funny like me, you will feel me on this!

RIP RUDY RAY MOORE!

LMBAO!!! THIS is funnnnnnny as hell!

PLEASSSSSE lool at this that I found on YBF.com....

This ish is FALARIOUS!!! WOW...just wow people!

They just don't make em like THIS anymore

My husband knows that if there is ONE Man that I would leave him for (not really baby,just jokes.... :-) ) Ahem.... It WOULD be MAXWELL!!!!

If you love the old soul sound mixed with a contemporary adult SWEXINESS.... you have found it. This man is an AR.TIST.... true soul through and through!

DAMN I wish I could go to the concert here in Detroit this coming weekend... but I am BROKE and them tickets are EXPENSIVE! I was lucky enough to see him ONE TIME close up (when he FIRST started) and I SWEAR he sounds and looks as good as he does on video---in person!

Take a look:

The Truth about the Politics of Our Time

If you do nothing else....listen to THIS ...... If this dosn't say it ALL...... I don't know what does!!!

Click Here

Enjoy your weekdend.

Birthday Foundations

My hubby's birthday is on Friday.... it marks his 30-something (i won't put out the number honey....) year of life! As you know my MIL is coming on Friday and even though my house is not a pigpen, I need to do some cleaning! Wouldn't it be nice to have a "cleaning fairy" (not one you have to pay..LOL) come in and ***whoosh*** the cleaning be done?????

Alas... that is not my reality here people. LOL

Moving on....

I forgot to post about part of my weekend. I went to a brunch that honored accomplished women in the law profession. It was given by an organization named the Rhonda Walker Foundation (www.rhondawalkerfoundation.org) and was held at one of Detroit's most delectable restaurants--Seldom Blues. It was a fundraiser that I was invited to attend ***FREE*** by a woman that I work with here and went to High School and College with who got our company to corporately sponsor the foundation and she had 4 seats to the event. The foundation, of which she is a board member, is a foundation that helps mentor young girls in their transition to becoming young women. They receive tutelege on poise, eloquence, manners, education, planning for the future, finance 101 as well as a wealth of experiential trips to places outside of the city that most of these inner city teens have never seen. Many haven't been outside of the 313 area code. Rhonda is a well known anchor-woman and is young and vibrant to boot. These girls really look up to her and I can honestly say that I think this is a wonderful organization.

In a world full of women trying to out-do each other in the "who's the skankiest" contest, this shines far and above many! The board of directors is as Rhonda puts it "a working board" and they help plan the activies, and most mentor as well.

I had a great time, the food was WONDERUL (www.seldomblues.com) and I actually met a lady that may be a Warm Spirit Customer! HOO-RAH!!! But the kicker? EVERYONE received a $100 gift certificate to a local jewlry store! Say what??? ya'll heard me..... it's time to get my shop on!



I didn't even reali

Can I do it all?

Hello folks!

For the 1.5 peoplw who still read this, welcome.

Alot has happened since I last posted: I have become a Warm Spirit Consultant and I have gone back to work. I work for a global company now and it really seems like a good place, albeit as with any group, faults and all LOL

I do feel that this is an environment where I can grow and learn! I am learning so much about my field EVERYDAY. Some of this is intimidating though.... I will admit. I also got a LOVELY raise in pay from the last place to this one! THANK YA JESUS!!! I am making more than I was before I went to my last employer and THAT salary was a good one! LOL God is good.

But this was no cake-walk....can I tell ya'll that all total, I interviewed with to FOURTEEN PEOPLE before I got this job??? Let's see... the first set of interviews I intereviwed with 5 people, the 2nd round 4 people and the 3rd round another 5 people! JESUS! I was like if SOMEBODY doesn't give me a job..... I'mma have to get rowdy up in this piece! LOL

But....God is good.

I have to tell ya'll.... I got reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal comfortable in being at home being able to do what the HELL I wanted to do! So, since the time I started back to work (9/2) I am JUST now getting back into the swing of things! I mean, I wish I did not have to go to work because I LIKE not doing SHIT and being able to CHOOSE what I do and what I don't (yeah i know, no shit sherlock... EVERYBODY WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT!!!!! LOL) Having to get up in the am is a JOB. I am just getting BACK used to having to use all of my weekend time to just GET shit done!!! DAMMIT! I HATE THAT!

I am actually surprised that I was so "relaxed" with having no dang job. Oh yeah.... there was one caveat.... I wanted to be back to work by January. In my perfect world.... I woulda NOT been going back to work until January 2, not September 2 !!!! The difference this time that is different from last time I was laid off was that THIS time because I have another bit of income (Warm Spirit) AND I have more "unemployment protection" on my credit cards/student loans.... I was GRAVY! Even though I was not making 1/2 of what I was ....I was straight.... that just means I couldn't shop-shop like I used to! The last time my husband was threatening to take my son outta school because of sheer "we can't fuckin afford to keep his ass in there" ! But since then, he got a raise, i had a bit o extra income....so there was NO ISSUE this time!

I miss being at home watching tv.... being able to take care of the LITTLE SHIT that needs to be taken care of! Like this weekend.... we were busy as HELL! And my mother-in-law is coming this FRIDAY! And my husband's birthday is Friday! Sooooo I have to do allll the cleaning,etc AFTER I GET HOME this week!!! There's simply too much to do and I pretty much do it ALL!


Anywho.... I will post more later...gotta run to a meeting!

Hoepfulyl I can return to posting more often now! LOL

Pictures

I went today to take engagement pictures for my girl and boy. It was such a nice day and juuuust hot enough to be kinda hot! The main thing was that there was SUN EVERYWHERE, making it hard for me to determine how much exposure their needed to be (shutter speed), what fstop it needed to be on, etc.

We started out at the downtown area, took pics at a few venues there, went to a local park (Belle Isle) and took some pictures in their conservatory there. But get this.... why did we walk in and the old chic at the desk was like "Are you all taking pictures in there?" (as was evident by my camera and tripod) and we were like "uh...yeah". She proceeded to tell us that we had to go the "administration" building to get "approval"..... and that it cost $100 to take pictures with PEOPLE in them. Dazed and confused we all just stared at her for about 30 seconds and then left. Well on the way to the car we started discussing this....and my boy who was spewing expletives (rightfully so in my mind) said " I would go back up in there, but I am too mad". So I said hold this (my tripod), I'll be right back. I went in and said "sooooo.... can we not take pictures in there at ALL???" she was like "no, you CAN take pictures of the flowers but just NOT with PEOPLE in it because THEN it's a photoshoot". I said " OOOH, well I wasn't taking pictures of THEM, I was taking pictures FOR THEM, not OF THEM"..... ***holding breath for reply**.... she was like "well Ok.... but I BETTA not see you taking pictures of anyone in there.... I will get up and check!"(she was an old woman with gray dreads). I said, "No ma'am... you can come with me if you like (knowing herr ass would be RIGHT there...after all, there was NO ONE else working with her and who woukd greet people as they came if she were up spying on our asses???!).

So we went in and got some good shots there. We got some pics against old brick and some other pretty cool shots around downtown Detroit. It was a good day. I was just as hot and tired as can be though after being pout from 9:30-2:00 taking pictures. I took more than 500 pics in all! yeah..... wow.... LOL

I haven't taken many "outdoor" sets and this was my first REAL one, so I am not sure if I am happy with my lack of technique or ability to think of new poses. Sometimes I just feel like I am not creative enough. I love cool angles, and photojournalistic work, but sometimes look at other people's work and go "will I ever get there???". I know that it is a journey and since I had stopped that journey, it may take me some time to get back into the swing...but I feel like a rusty bold right bowm tyring to polsih myself up. I want to be GREAT at being a creative photojournalist.

I think I got some good shots, but to me there is probably waaay more that I could have done, it simply didn't come to mind. I will keep striving though :-)

**insert the "are you looney look"***

We went a lil bit of everywhere and I was

I'm free

Well.... in one way.

To all of the people who happen by (yea ALL THREE OF YOU...this one's for you Tam :-), I have been set free. I have been laid off AGAIN from the FUCKED UP COMPANY that has LITERALLY kept me from blogging (or the fear or being found out that is)...let me explain....

Abouot 2 1/2 months ago I vowed (mainly to Tam) to "blog more frequently". Not long after that my "boss" (a black woman mind you...we'll call her BAL... short for "bitch ass leader") came to me and told me that she had had a 360 degree review( that is a review that your subordinates do on YOU, their leader) and that some people felt that "there are some people who weren't doing as much as others and that she thought that "they were talking about me". Now, mind you, I DO my job, I have never had ONE BAD THING said about me to any of my superiors (as the "BAL" said to me)by ANY of the people that I service! NOT ONE! As a matter of fact, I had BUILT strategic relationships with the people I serve AND gained their trust AND aI knew what I am doing. I have been in HR for more than 11 years and I have worked hard to get here. I am knowledgeable and a good mix of easy-to-talk-to and "can-put-the-hammer-down-when-i-have-to". My BOSS (the company I used to wodk for HATES that word...they call people "leaders"...they hate it SO much that people will look at you like you have grown four horns and six tails if you use that word. Boss REALLY.IS.A.4.LETTER.WORD). The people I serviced said GOOD things to my boss and I know this because she has TOLD ME these things, and I can;t tell you how often I got a sincere thank you for ficxing some problem, coming up with some solution and I am sure she neveeeeeeer heard 1/2 of it. But I am not one to "boast and brag" and so towards the end....it would KILL me that all she was looking at were a bunch of numbers that would only indicate that someone was working HARDER, not smarter. Reas on.... that will be explained later....

>Basically that company has SO. MUCH . TECHNOLOGY at the drop of a HAT that they do not know what to do with themselves. So.... BAL decided to 1. check my internet usage 2. check the times I swiped in with my badge in the morning and 3. check my phone usage...... FOR A 2 FUCKING-MONTH PERIOD!!

And what did she find....guess....no go on.... guess.....

1. I was using the internet too much---as per the reports---which I have seen because since I was in HR, this is what "I" used to do to OTHER LEADERS...get their people's SHIT PULLED if their leader suspected anything!!Now as far as mine goes I would go on and off the internet all day. Looking up a random website, going on Ybf.com, going on Google, going to YouTube(hardly ever this one though) and other random news stories,etc. I personally think that it appeared to be too much because often times I would simply leave pages UP on the screen while I went to lunch to a meeting,etc. And here's the kicker...this environment is like a "advertising" environment. If you have no idea abotut what an environment like that is like...it's TOTALLY ATYPICAL CORPORATE! You can see people having "midday stress relief events" like throwing a football, playing a game, playing darts or whatever. The IT team actually BLOCKS people from going on Myspace and YouTube and Facebook-- except for me & my team because I was in HR and we were NEVER blocked from ANYTHING--- (this just lets you know how YOUNG the general population is there!) until 11:00am. Then people can go on there during their lunches. So the company would kinda ENCOURAGE them to go to these sites during the hours of 11:00-2:00pm. I say this to also say that there are TV's posted in EVERY AREA (meaning every 100 feet or so, there is a flat screen TV) that is usually turned to CNN news or something, but in the break rooms there are BIG ASS TV's ----- with cable mind you----up in there for people to watch! So, I say all of this as a background.... MOST people in this company were on and off the fuckin INTERNET allllll dayum day! In fact I hope her ass checked OTHER people's shit because I GUARANTEE YOU that their shit may look excessive too! And she KNEW this.

Sidebar:
So why was she fucking with me? Me & her got off to a Rocky start last year. When I came to her team it was because all of my dept was "temporarily displaced---yeah right!) to other teams. I came from the Recruiting team. Well, when I started, I was "technically" still under "boss diva" and working for BAL. So...all I was given was MUNDANE, RETARTED ASS DATA entry shit to do! I Was not USED to sitting at a desk doing shit that was that repetitive and that boring, so I would often go 100 feet over to my OLD team and chat with them. She didm't like that. She said that I was talking too much and told my OLD leader (boss diva) that I seemed "unengaged". First of all you heartless, non-sympathetic BITCH... how CAN I seem "engaged" when you have given me DATA ENTRY SHIT to do for 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!! AND I am on edge (as was ALL of the HR dept---of which there were about 60 people) that we are not even going to HAVE A JOB in the next week!! How can be engaged in that shit????!! After I found out that my recruiting job was NOT coming back, I was lucky enough that BAL somehow liked me enough to STAY on her team. But we kept having "small" issues here and there. Top that off with the fact that because she was SOOOOO busy, once I learned the policies and procedures I hardly EVER caleld her for anything. She didn;t like that I felt that it was BULLSHIT that she was always making a comment "Sometimes you just go 'dark' on me and I don't hear from you....".


**insert stank ass look****

Here's my thing: 1/2 the time when I NEEDED her bitch ass she was "unreachable". the other times, I KNOW.WHAT.I.AM.DOING. Period. And I DON'T NEED YOU. It's not anything AGAINST your ass, but I have been in HR long enough to know MOST things that I was faced with. When I didn't know, I asked. But for real. If I called her at 10:00 in the AM because a leader wanted to fire someone, her ass may not get back with me until 4:45 (that was her fucking trademark and I SWEAR she did it to IRRITATE ME because she KNEW that I LITERALLY needed to leave at 5:00 on the DOT --no later than 5:10 to GET my son by 6:00 because of the distance away that I was from my son's school. Don't call me at 4:45 and want to have a complex conversation about shit bitch! But see...here was the other thing. The "company's" general start and end times were 9:00-6:00. As a rule that was what 98% of people worked. When I came IN I told Boss Diva that I HAD TO work 8:00-5:00 because I had to get my son. I say this to say that because mostly the WHOLE company worked a different shift, people really were insensitive to me having to leave and I felt like I was "cheating" the system (and felt guilty as SHIT when I really should not have)when everyone else had to stay and work when I had to say "ummm..... I have to go....". I think that this was part of what started the "I'm not sure is she is pulling her weight" theory. Top this off with the fact that except for her GROWN ass kids BAL had--meaning they could FEND for themselves---NO ONE else on my team of 10 people hade kids!!! So they had no REAL sympathy either.FOr those of you withoiut kids... you THINK you may have sympathy but you don't. Trust me. When you have a small child, your life and constraints are COMPLETELY different! And though BAL had gone through this, it was OBVIOUSLY too long ago to be remembered as her kids were 22 and 16

2. I was NOT coming in on time. Now this one I admit to. I am terrible with time especially if there is no one watching my ass. I have ALOT to do (just like everyone else...i know) in the morning and getting a 3 now 4 year old up and out the house, so yes I took advantage of the fact that my boss literally NEVER came to the location I worked out of ( lemme explain: all of the HR people that did my job worked in different buildings for the most part and hardly EVER got a chance to see each other. This also begs the question WHY IN THE FUCK DID SOMEONE FEEEEEL THAT MY ASS DIDN'T HAVE SHIT TO DO????? ASSES! They weren't even THERE with me!) So, my start time was 8:00...I was getting there at 9:00-9:30 . The only thing is that I basically NEVER took a lunch (at least that was the 1/2-assed justification I gave when confronted because I had alllllready been prepared for "what if she says some shit about that". But, because I have to leave at 5:00 on the DOT to pick up my son because myu husband literally CAN'T, her thing was "well.... you aren't even working a FULL EIGHT HOURS a day". What could I say? Nothing. And yes I was mad as fire at this point, but let me finish..

3.I was on the phone too much too. YUP! Alot of my shit that I had to do on any given day was clerical....hell it's the nature of HR..... documentation is our middle NAME. Well.... I CAN do work and be on the phone at the same time. So I did. My girl who worked at mind-numbing place and I would chat for at LEAST 2 hours total each day. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Hell there were slow days what can I say?

BUT....

This is NOT why I was let go (at least not the full reason, but I am pretty sure that this discovery of information made me the LEAST desireable candidate to KEEP when the downsizing issue came up (and BAL had the NERVE to say when she separated me "this had nothing to do with your performance or anything...it was based on the needs of the company...blahdy-fucking-blah).

Whatever bitch.

Sooooo this brings us to why I haven;t been blogging. Her ass let me know that I must
#1 Reduce the amount of personal phone calls (Check! Got an umlimited calling plan on my cell and STILL talked at work, cuz I had an office..NEXT!)

#2Reduce the amount of internet usage (yeah ok waynch, but if you pull ALL THESE OTHER MUTHAFUCKA'S SHIT... I GUARANTEE YOU that their asses are on the internet ALL DAY TOO! As a matter-of-fucking-fact, I told a couple of people who do EXACTLY what I do about what went down and they were like "hell ,I hope she doesn't check MY SHIT...cuz, I have my internet up ALL DAY too!". You don't know HOW BAD I wanted to tell her ass that shit!)

And #3 You need to adhere to an 8-5 schedule (I tried, but I was usually there at 8:10-8:20..... I swear I tried...).

So, there it is. And check this out: one of my girls (black girl) who was a manager on the team I supported hipped me to the plan 2 days before it happened. I am SOOOO thankful to her that she was able to tell me this shit BEFORE it went down, because guess what? I called my ass in on the DAY BEFORE it was supposed to go down(a Thursday) and had the NEXT day scheduled off already for my son's birthday weekend! Because you don't GET paid out for sick time and I had 4 days left, so I said FUCK THEM! I ain't working ANOTHA fucking minute for them bastids!

My thing was "hell... they gon have to fire me on MONDAY!!!!" :-)


Ummmm, yeah ok..... so then I talked to my OTHER girl and she was like "i just got let go and such-and-such just got let go BY PHONE" (i had noooo idea who was getting let go because apparently "I" was one of em!")


BY PHONE???????????? WTF????????????????

Sure enough BAL called my house later that day and I played sick to the HILT because I didn't want to have her think that I was faking being sick and NOT get paid for that day.... they do have that right ya know...... So this bitch left a message and I really started not to call her back, but I said "fuck it...why delay the inevitable". I called and got separated BY FUCKING PHONE too!

So, I am looking for a job---again---- in the state with THE WORST unemployment in the country...and trying not to get depressed. For real. The last time I was SO STRESSED the WHOLE 2 1/2 months I was off that I could not enjoy not ONE DAY! Not until I found out I had a job and by then I only had like 3 days or so before I had to start,so of all that time off, I enjoyed (i.e was at peace) for 3 days.

But do you know what is funny? When I found out THIS TIME, I felt a strong feeling of RELIEF. I really grew to hate that company and how they did business. They were plain and simple running it like a "good ole boys" network and I hated that. Whoever made the company the MOST money could PRETTY much get away with doggin people, talking to them like they were SHIT and would HAVE A JOB! WHy? Because they were making the company money. Plain and simple. That is NOT the way business should be run! For real! I will not put their name out there but let's just say.........they are a giant in the WORST INDUSTRY AROUND THESE DAYS in this economy, so I'll let YA'LL figure that out! And they flat OUT treat their "worker bees" like SHIT! They do this because the company has a very YOUNG dynamic and a very unmarried, no kid-having population. So, the company takes advantage of the " you ain't got shit to do" mentality.

After all the shit above happened, I was MORE than ready to leave....I have been applying for the past 4-5 months (sporadically, though) and have JUST gotten one call and that was through a kinda "hook up". I have an interview next week and in the meantime I have started to participate in Warm Spirit. If you've never heard of it, go to www.joinwarmspiritnow.com and take a look. It is an all natural whole-body products company that promotes wellness and healthy living through it's products. (also, let me know if you see something you like... I can order it for you and probably get you a free gift!)

I am also going to try to focus on my photography. While I want another job, part of me just wants to stay home and work on my photography and be a Warm Spirit Consultant.

So... wish me luck.... and I WILL be posting more now because I am FREE from my bondage!

In the words of Run DMC.... "dere it is....."

Heeeeeeey!

Well... I must say that since I last wrote, I signed my baby up for golf lessons (and will be getting him some baby...albeit "real" golf clubs), willbe signing him up for T-Ball and had a relaxing mother's day :-)

I didn't do JACK on Mother's Day and that was fine with me!!! I actually had to work (grrrrrrr!!!) on Saturday so I just wanted to relax and have a steak on the grill and that's just what I did! And even though it rained like HELL on Mother's Day... alllllllllll day.... my husband still cooked on the grill for me :-)

Nothing better than that!

Last Lecture

Hey, have you ever thought about if you were dying what you would do or what you would say? Well, I came across this guy (and apprently I am one of THE LAST people on earth to have even have HEARD of him) and this is his reality. I haven't looked at hte WHOLE video (76 minutes) that he did at Carnegie Mellon U., but I have viewed part of it and this excerpt from when he was on Oprah.

This man has made me look at things for what they are. He has brought more clarity to everyday and living everyday ....(as corny and cliche as it is) like it is your last. How do you treat yourself and your family? Do you spend at least SOME time each day just ENJOY.ING yourself???? I know I tend not to. I tend to go about my day, doing for my family, day-in-day-out..... life becomes a routine. But I am going to take at least a minute piece of my day to just "enjoy"...because life really is a gift...... and we will ALL be at the place one day where we will think about our own mortality and if we are blessed enough to live to an old age, hopefully we will be able to look back on a life full of pride, happiness and fun!!!!

I am going to try to treasure EVERY day in SOME way, because I do not want to look back and have regret and unhappiness in my own piece of black history. Best said : Life is for the LIVING! Get busy living or get busy dying!

So, what's important to you ......?

Taka a look at Randy Pausch's idea on this. FYI....this is almost 10 minutes, but it's worth it.

Hall Monitor

So, we have the ability to wear jeans to work and most people take advantage of this quite often. There is this woman who is a VP of "something-or-other" and who used to be one of the people if anyone asked about her I would have (notice the past tense) said "Oh, such-and-such? She's reeeally nice". Well no more.

Such-and-such flipped the heck out on me one time last year sometime when I was her designated recruiter. I made a mistake which I ended up fixing with NO consequences in the end and she went BALLISTIC on me over something fixable and to me, then acted "not as friendly" ever since. You have ONE TIME to treat me like THAT and you never will again....cuz I FO'SHO got'cho dayum numba!

So, back to the jeans. One day I was up at the front (which I RARE.LY am) talking to the 2 receptionists (both of whom are black) about something or other. Well, the front desk is a kind of semi-circle and I was directly in front. So Stankalita comes and is like " Oh you know you are NOT supposed to be in FRONT of this desk with jeans on..... "the president" has only allowed us to wear them with the caveat that if you need to ask the receptionist(s) anything, you stand over on the end of the semi circle (thereby hiding your lower half)". So, my response was "are you serious?" because I had NEEEEEEEEVER heard of ANY nonsense like THAT!! She gave me a dry -ass look and was like "yes I am serious..... if "the preseident" came up here and saw you standing here (or anyone else) he would not be happy.... we only are able to wear jeans on anyday with that caveat because we do not want clients to see us in jeans".

I proceeded to have a look of you have got to be FUCKING kidding me!" on my face as I looked her square in her face and she was looking like "yes BITCH I am serious!" I was like "oooo k..... I had never heard that so that is news to me."

That was months ago when the above happened.

So, fast forward...in talking to the receptionists, they always tell me about how she walks around like a flippin 10th's grade hall monitor to see if someone is "wearing jeans at the desk" and will go OFF on her tirade in a DEFINITELY shitty way if she see's someone in violation of code 3957493, section b" a.k.a. the DUMB ASS SHIT section.

****insert blank look and rolled eyes****.

And interestingly enough when her "fellow" VP's or her lil sr. leadership buds come up there with jeans on,ohhhhhhhhhhhh she has nothing to say, but when one of "us" comes up and she CATCHES the person, she reads them teh flippin riot act.

So fast forward to last week. I was at the desk, 2 inches away from the 6-inch wide panel that you are supposed to "hide behind" if you are wearing jeans and supoosedly where clients can't see you and she comes past the glass doors and sees me. This bitch comes in and proceeds to go off saying " You know... you are supposed to be BEHIND the desk when you have on jeans and if this happens again, you are gonna make EVERYONE lose their priveleges, because if the "president" gets word of this he will revoke everybody;s privelege and how would that look.... the HR person got EVERYONE's privelege revoked.....blah, blah, blah". I looked at her and kept talking while she was talkig and said "well me and "the president" have alot of love and we are on good terms ... he wouldn't revoke my privelge...don;t even worry about it" (now, I am BOIL.ING inside because if I had said what I REALLY wanted to say, we'da been in "the president's" office in 5 minutes!! So... instead I just kept talking over her ass). So don't you know this bitch had the nerve to say "Not when I get through with him... hee hee hee".


***record scratching***

I said "EXCUSE ME?????".... "like I said, don;t worry about it, I was BARELY in sight and inches away from the "designated spot".... I am SURE "the president" would NOT be that assanine as to really revoke people's priveledge over that.... so do't you worry about it". What I really wanted to say was WHO THE FUCK DIED and made you "JEANS ENFORCER"?????? I mean, give me a dayum BREAK lady!!! If you wanted children you shoulda BIRTHED them because I am not the one! (she has no kids and is 55'ish...just her and her old ass husband)

I wish this trick WOULD take me to the "principal's" office because I would be like "what kinda of childish, tattle-telling mess is she on???? I am a grown woman and she is absolutely REDICULOUS with this monitoring that she does!" She would see a whooooole other side of me if it ever got to that point AND I would bring up the fact that there have been SEVERAL times where HER ass has not been abiding by her OWN code of conduct! Most recently last week where she stood her behind in between the two receptionists in PLAIN view to ANY client with a basketball jersey and jeans on to talk about some gi-nomous diamond her husband had just bought her . What-the-fuck-ever lady.... let ME catch your ass ..... she betta been lucky I DIDN'T see her!!

But really,why am I even having to write this damn blog??? this is some CHILD.ISH mess! This is why I need a drink or three after leaving this place!

More on that tomorrow..... back to posting more often people!

Back

Hey all, since I last posted I went and came back from Atlanta for my husband's grandmother's 80th birthday celebration. It was supposed to be a surprise but his cousin's daughter Lea (age 4 7/8), told her the birthday girl, "GiGi, Tee went to the store to get decorations for your party ...she didn't go to the grocery store".

And there went the surprise! LOL

Here are a few pics:


Cousins having fun!


Fun times in his cousin's Bouncy thing


Me & my husband at the party.


We had a good time and can I just say that I REEEEALLLY wanted to move there more than ever this time I went???? There are several reasons for this statement. One, it was like 70-75 degrees in Mid-March and we won;t see that ish until AT LEAST the beginning of June with any regularity (probably like the MIDDLE of June to be exact....). Number 2, if you all have been reading this stuff for awhile, you all know that though I have family here (albeit a small family, I have an older brother, sister and one niece and one nephew...nope...no aunts and no uncles) here. But it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for us to "coordinate" with them to take our son off our hands and watch him if we want to do anything! It is the most frustrating thing about having a small family and not being near my husband's family, bar none. The one person who WOULD do it is my niece, but she is sooooooo tied up into her husband's family and their goings-on, that either she is too busy, she's also in grad school, or spending time with her husband. I damn sure can't blame her, and this is MY child, but what happened to "it takes a village...." cause my village is non-existent. For real. And I feel that stress and my marriage oftimes feels that stress of NEVER really being able to go out or do things with each other because we don't have someone to watch out son. So......the fact still remains that I can't rely on my family for help..... hardly ever..... and it's hard to get that outlet.

And before you all ask..... I had (notice i say "had") a babysitter 3 doors down, but her family MOVED and pretty much everyone else on our street is a teenage male (not feeling THAT demographic for a babysitter....sorry if that's sexist, but **shrug** oh freakin well...) or they are too young. I do not know other "teens" in the neighborhood that babysit either. And as you know, my mother lives in Florida and my husband's mother lives in Georgia. But the saving grace has been Melvin's and my girl( Diva's families. The problem there is that we cannot "ask all the time" or as my mother used to say "wear out your welcome" like you might try to do with your OWN family :-) Also, the people that will sometimes keep OUR son, may need to keep my girl and HER huaband's son (my Godson) who is about to turn 2! So, that also limits us, after all, they are "like family" ...but they are NOT our family and whatever way you slice it....there IS a damn difference! Feel me??

Can I just say that it was soooo effortless for my husband's cousin to take my son and keep him at her house, and trust, this was not JUST because we were only there for a few days.... this is just how it would be! My husband has a whoooooole lotta people that we could have keep our son! I mean, I can't even lie.... that alone makes me want to move down there! He gets to play with his cousins (who are his age, of which there are NONE up here in my family) and Mommy and Daddy get some "parent-time" and probably some of our own individual "me-time" back without one or the other solely having the little one.

Don't get me wrong, it was OUR choice to have a baby and it is OUR son. So, I am not trying to say I want to shirk my parental duties in ANY way. But everyone needs time...... and needs it more than once a year. Do you know that our son has NEVER spent the night away from us EXCEPT for when my mother came up here and we went to Chicago 3 years ago???? Uh...yeah. We haven't been on a vacation since. Because there is always "that issue" of "well.... who could he stay with for 3-7 days if we go somewhere????????" It's just a logistical nightmare and financially expensive undertaking JUST for us to "go on a trip"...... feel me????

So with that said..... I yearn for that kinda of support and those of you who have it... have NO.IDEA. how lucky you are. Trust me... you are very lucky because not having extra support does take it's toll.....

***DIVA THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU BECUASE YOU REMIND ME ALL THE TIME THAT YOU ARE VERY THANKFUL TO HAVE YO PEOPLE!!! LOL ***

Carving out time for yourself is tough and though I'd miss my friends dearly, if my husband would be up for moving (which, because he likes the stability of his position where he works and the fact that we would have a hard as HELL time selling this house in this f'ed up market), I'd be all over it.....becuase it is no JOKE not having people around to help... for real.....Truth be told, in a perfect world, I would just be able to have the help I need HERE and not move, but that isn't reality and the help would be worth it to move. My husband agrees that the help would be worth it, but we'd have to find jobs,etc. and not just any job, the RIGHT.ONES that would allow us to pay bills and maitain a lifestyle, feel me??

So, who knows, maybe one day we will.....

I've been duped!

Well, if any of you are fans of "The Wire" and have a cable provider that provides OnDemand (where you can basically view certain movies/programs ----on demand), you may feel me on this...

For the ENTIRE last season of "The Wire" (which I am about to shed a tear about it being the last season...btw...)because we have OnDemand through Comcast cable, we were able to watch EVERY episode a WEEK EARLY, starting the Monday BEFORE the Sunday that it airs! So me and my husband have been like CRACKHEADS every Monday night always watching The Wire after the little one is asleep, right?

This week heralds the end. of . The. Wire..... **head hanging low**. Folks have been killed off that I NEVER thought would (Prop Joe and Omar to name the biggest of the two) and I really wish this wasn't ending. The Finale was to come on this Sunday, March 9.... soooooo.... as is customary with me, we went to On Demand to get the Finale EARLY and saw this:




If you watch The Wire you know why this is so funny.....because EVERY time this man says this I just crack the hell up! He's a african's african...... that's what I call him and me and my husband just sat there with our mouths open and let out a big ass laugh.... they got us... they got us.... I couldn't even REALLY be mad cuz our DUMB ASSES shoulda known they wasn't gon let us see "THE . FINALE" early!!!! LOL

Definitely duped! LOL

Reunion

My 20 YEAR high school reunion is this year (come on Shai... you comin?) :-)

And I am like "damn.. I need to lose some A WHOLE LOT of weight! I was never Ms. Skinny but damn if I haven't gained a NICE amount since high school! I want to be cute at the reuinion, I want the people I went to high school with to be like DAMN she looks good!! (isn't that what EVERYBODY wants????) I need to have a 1969 type of reunion!!!I think this is just the motivation I need,.... I hope.....

My problem is.... motivation..... I typically get so amped and then lose steam. Problem now is that I can't get up some motivation to save my life!!! I have a treadmill, and the ONLY time that it is feasable for me to do the tread is in the a.m..... but I swear.... motivation..... that bitch is elusive as HELL cause I SWEAR I can't find her ass! I say "imagine how GOOD you will look (and feel, no less)",....motivation still eludes me.... I say "you will be BETTER than you were in high school if you go ahead and start NOW".... motivation turns her head and runs out the door. I say " GET IN HERE NOOOOOOOOWWWW"....motivation looks at me and laughs a hearty loud laugh.

DAMN her ass. I swear my bed pulls me INTO it in the am, thereby causing me to miss motivation when she does show up at 5:45am. By the time my bed releases me....her ass is gone. Time is not on my side... the reunion weekend is August 15-17th. That's only SIX months! That may seem like a long time to ya'll but when you want to REALLY lose a nice amount of weight...that ain't shit!!!

I think I'm gonna kidnap her....that is the only way.

School days

So, I am thinking about going back to school ya'll... I have thought about this on and off for a while now. WHen I graduated from undergrad, I was so happy to be DONE with school that I damn near ran out of my last final screaming and tearing off my clothes! LOL I didn't want to see a homework list/group meeting request/textbook for a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng time. For real. I mean come on.... 20 years (minus the 3 years of my infancy) is a LONNNNNG time to be in school....I was ready....stick my ass with a fork, I was DO.NE!

Needless to say I am not one that just lovvvvvvvves to study and do work...and my gpa reflected that mess too. Though I have always known the benefit and importance of education, I have never been the most er...uh...studious. I know that I must bring the thunder in grad school though. There IS no place for slacking, half-assing and bullshitting....which was a big part of my PREVIOUS ways.

Life has taught me much and one of those things is that (through other people's stories too) is that you MUST get at least a 3.0 in grad school. That scares me. Why? Because I was never MADE to get all A's ....my mother has a master's degree, but she was never ON ME-ON ME or SUPER-PISSED-I'mma-take-everything-away-from-you type of mad when i brought home a C. I do not blame her, but I was lazy and her not jumping all over me combined with that was not a good combination.

I have no time to be lazy now. I have too much to juggle now. Family, child and work. I must be diligent and organized with my studying,et al. I am looking forward to going back though I know it will be alot of work. Someone once told me that "what is the difference between now and 3 years from now?" The answer? If you start going to school TODAY, you will have your degree. In the other scenario, if you do not start school, you won't...you'll; be at exactly the same point you were at 3 years prior. I have known this for awhile and just have never "done it". But there have been a multitude of factors that caused that too.

Anyway...in today's competitive market, I am finding that even with a MASTER's sometines it is STILL rediculously hard (especially in the most miserable city in america which has the 2nd HIGHEST unemployment rate) to find a job that 11-teen-hun'ned people aren't also vieing for. So...not only will an additional degree increase my KNOWLEDGE, but hopefully it will help me with the motivation for this whole thing...MORE MONEY PEOPLE!!!!!!! LOL

The other thing that motivated me this week was that in my department, I watched as a 27-year old administrative assitant (white of course) in another city was put into the position that I hold, given a $9,000 increase and is only $2,000 LESS than me in Salary..... why am I so mad about this??? Because she has not ONE.FUCKING.STITCH of Human Resources experience!!!!! This bitch works with the team that she will be responsible for supporting currently and this is how they "excused" the teensy-little-elephant-in-the-room called this BITCH HAS NO EXPERIENCE DOING WHAT THE FUCK WE DO! ANd I am supposed to sit here like the damn Chesshire Cat and smile at this shit right???? HELL NO! That is some bullshit! This bitch was previously an admin and a campaign helper (per her resume) and she is doing what me, who has 11 years of experience in MANY areas of HR (including 7 in management) and will be making a measly $2k LESS THAN ME?????? Fuck that! I need to diversify and edify myself. I gotta get the FUCK out of here! This is the very shit that makes people feel unappreciated and not like doing ONE.DAMN.THING.EXTRA for a company!!!! I will NOT be going above and beyond for these assholes! NOPE! This grand announcement was made a couple weeks ago and I am STILL pissed about it! Can't you tell?

So I need to get on the ball because these "others" are winning at MY game and I need to even (even a little) the playing field!

Game on!

I applied to one place today and I am meeting with another advisor in a week or so.... keep ya finda's crossed!!!

V-Day doesn't have to equal D-Day!

Hey all!!!

So, yesterday was The BIG V-DAY! I know that there are plenty of women who were feeling down because of the fact that they were not with someone. At periods in my life, I was that woman.

The fact of the matter is that it is O.K. if you like the cards and flowers and candy! It is O.K. of you love the fact that everyone at work sees that you got some flowers, but it is also O.K. if you don;t have anyone to love but you. It took me a long time to realize that. A long time.

I still like all the "commercialized things" that come with this and other days (i.e sweetest day...it's a midwest thing for all of ya'll that DON'T know... :-)) but if all me & my husband do is wish each other a "Happy Valentine's Day" or a "Happy Sweetest Day" , that is good with me too :-) (now.....don't talk about birthdays... that's a whole other situation! LOL)


Anyway as a sidebar, in a related post I read, there were some things that REALLY made some sense to me....These are quotes from Funky Fresh's page regarding his thoughts on V-day. In terms of those of us in relationships, this day can have a variety of meanings , but I think that the following sentiment applies to everyday life when it comes to those in relationships, not just for this day:

I used to be a “I don’t celebrate” the day type of dude. But the older I got, the more I realized that if a card, a gift, a romantic dinner, flowers, whatever, makes her happy, then I’m doing it. It may not be a big deal for me, but it’s a big deal for her and since she’s with me, it’s a big deal for me.

And this, my friends is the way it should frickin be! If it is a big deal to ME (or vice versa) it should be a big deal to my huaband/boyfriend, etc. Why can't more men be like that??? Maybe it's not in their DNA! Take my husband for example, it took him a minute to understand and take it seriously that I feel VERY strongly about my birthday and Christmas!!! (however commercialized those days may be....whatever, it's my feelings that count!) But he finally got it! I just think that if the man gives a damn, YOUR FEELINGS will matter and if they don't....people there is a problem in Zamunda..... LOL

Another of Fresh's thoughts on love......

Third, some of you are with someone right now who you are trying to figure out. You have all of these needs and wants. You want love but you don’t feel like you’re getting it. For one thing, make sure you’re not in love with the concept of love. Be in love with the value of love.

I like this one too. When you are young you think you know what love it, but you haven't EXPERIENCED all of the facets of love until you come to that place where you just know that you know. I know that I am much more sure of love and it's place in my life, but I have also learned to love myself more.

Feel me?

What a Blast!/Jobs

In Detroit, we have this now yearly event called the
"Winter Blast" where there is Ice Skating, a giant Snow slide and all kinds of family events. So... we go to the Winter Blast and this lil boy wanted (of all things) a snow cone! LOL




He also wanted Mommmy to eat it with him.




Anyway, we went to the winted blast on Sat. and it was COLD as hell AND raining (you know black women don't fuck wit the rain right????) and I had to wear a hat earlier in the day when it was raining that was making me sweat out my ***JUST-DONE-THE-DAY-BEFORE*** hair) grrrr.......




So, why was my child HELL bent on "ice skating" and got on the ice and IMMEDIATELY fell?! He was like " I'm ain't going back" LOL Well, here is the issue.. neither Mommy NOR Daddy can Ice skate, so that was the END of our adventures in Ice Skating! LOL We'llhave to do better next year.





So, on to the Ice Slide... Mommy took pictures and daddy and the boy went on that too!






And then we had to be made into Spiderman.......



After that it was a wrap! Time for all to go home a relax a bit since we'd been in the COLD for 4 hours by this point! LOL

Fun times with the family! :-)

Job Update

So you know I am still looking for another job. How about I went to an interview for a Dir. of Admissions for a computer training group in the city where I live(so convenient!) and this muthafucka said " the hours of work are 10-8pm Mon through Thurs. (his ass coulda stopped RIGHT.THERE) and 10-4 on Friday with every other saturday for 4 hours. WTF????????? And these idiot's are not paying a great base and of COURSE there is a "sales" component to it..... I zoned completely out of the rest of the FIFTEEN MINUTE (that's how long everyone's preliminary interviews were) after he satarted talking that mess about a 10-8pm schedule! even if I WANTED to, I couldn't do that shit! I wanted to slap the man and tell him WHY IN THE HELL didn't you put this ish on the website so that people wouldn't even WASTE their time interviewing when the damn hours of the job are so out of the norm???? They are stupid!

So..... the search continues.....

Blessings come down when prayers go up!

Sooooo… dreams really do come true!!!

I could pretty much CANCEL my last post because my girl TooSerious called our old hair stylist to find that she is RETURNING TO DOING HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooo excited that I can’t even SPEAK!!!!

She said when she called our old stylist that she said that she was coming back to part-time (which was what she was doing anyway) and that she will be coming back in a month or so!

I cannot even TELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ya’ll how geeked I am!!!!! I am just waiting to hear it from her own mouth too (I have already left a voice message for her )!! LOL

But I am taking this as the gospel and solidifying my SPOT already! 5:30 baby!!! Every Friday!

WOOO HOO!!!

And I will leave you with this: ……..God does answer prayers :-)

Picture day!

So I attended my first wedding as a "photographic assistant", and boy can I tell ya! Photographers work their BUTTS off (well the good ones do). I mean the two guys that I was shadowing take between 2,500 and 3,000 pictures between the two of them! WOW! I mean, they take alot of pictures and then edit quite a few of them

The only bad part of this day was that I had to "ask on the fly" when they could sneak in a second or 10...literally! But I was able to get a better idea of what they do. That is a good thing :-) So, this is the first step. Next comes me getting serious about learning the "photoshop tutorials" that I have had for LITERLLY a year or so and then going to my mentors house and watching him and sitting with him as he edits some pictures ! YEA!!!

Computer
So... I finally got my computer after much drama.... Where to begin..... I had the perrrfect monitor picked out (that was not coming from Dell) and it was at Best Buy. So, I go online 3 days before I was goign to get it and it waxs available in 4 locations. I go in the DAY before I was to get the computer and the monitor was not available in not ONE STORE in the Detroit Metropolitan area! Can you say pissed? Because THAT meant I would have to ORDER it and WAIT for it.

**sidenote** when it comes to getting something that I reeeeally am looking forward to, there had better not be ONE thing standing in my way or I will be all jacked up!

So... I order it and THANKFULLY it came the day BEFORE the computer. On to the computer...FedEx SUCKS! I fought with THESE muthascratchers because since I was not at home for the 1st attempt (when we waited alllllllllllllll day on Satruday until 4:00 and their asses came at 5:30!!!!!!) I wanted the package to be held. Now.... there is a Fed Ex Express location that is 2 miles from my house. No prob, so I call the Fed Ex number and they tell me that it CANNOT be held there because the Fed Ex EXPRESS is as different from the Fed Ex **Home Delivery** system as DHL is from UPS. WTF?????? Soooo... this meant that they told me that i had to go 15 miles from my house (inconveniencing me, though I PAID for delivery of this item AND there is Some type-a Fed Ex location RIGHT aroudn the corner!!!!) to a WAREHOUSE location and that I had to go during their "pick up hours"!!! WTF???? am I the customer or a delivery person???????????????

Anyway... I got my lovely computer and went to go load stuff on it. Now, I don;t know if you all have heard but there are MANNNY problems with the New Microsoft Vista. **raising hand** I have one ALREADY! I believe that I have narrowed it down (via going on chat forums,etc) to the fact that when I loaded my MICROSOFT Zune software on, it is CLASHING with something in this damn computer and is causing my system to NOT be able to go into "sleep" or "hibernate" mode (you know how your screen will go blan eventually when you haven't used it in ahile??? Well, at this point mine won;t do that. I do NOT want to DELETE my Zune software because I NEED IT to be able to use my Zune and get monthly updates that allow me to listen to my music at ALL on my Zune!

***SIGH*** I am frustrated already.So, I have just been turning my monitor off when I am done until I can get up the energy to seek out a solution.

But riddle me this.... WHY IN THE HELL is MICROSOFT Zune software incompatible with MICROSOFT Vista?????? I swear if I could SLAP Bill Gates for THIS screw-up I would! GRRRR........

Anyway.... other than THAT, the computer's speed is PHENOMENAL!!! I am sooooo impressed with it! I LOVE IT!!!! I got my heater (check!) so that I am not so cold in the basement, I have my cable hooked back up to the tv (check!) so that I can watch at least the basic cable stations, I have most of my software loaded back onto the computer (check!)and I have my desk set up (check!)

I am ready to go!

Hairstylists
Me and my girl Diva have long lamented the exodus of our beloved hairstylist to the realm of "stay-at-home-mommyhood". Well, I swear Friday reached an all-time frustration. I was soooo "calmly-frustrated" and by that I mean...ahve you ever been sooooooo upset about something that you simply have no energy or recourse other than to "be still" and calm? Well, that is how I was on Friday.

I still have not found (after 7 months of trying **new stylists***) someone who #1. I can get a standing appointment with for a time when I can come on a Thursday or a Friday. So, I still alternate every other week with a different stylist.

Well, my FAVORITE of the two and I have had our differences , namely that she REFUSED to give me some color! So, I went and got it from another (actually a 3rd) stylist. There is NO reason that shd should not have given me color and to me, she is one of those "don;t tell me how to do hair because I HAVE the cosmetology license" kinda people. **sigh**. Let's top this off with the fact that she is sloooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Why did I call on Friday to get an early appt and she told me I could come at 4:00pm. Cool! that means I will be getting out earlier, right?! So I go to the shop. Why was there a client who APPARENTLY had JUST SAT down in her chair 1 minute BEFORE I got there(why would you tell me to come at the SAME time as someone else????????). I sat there for a SOLID hour before my head was even TOUCHED whiel she permed and put a color rinse in rhis chick's hair AND blow dryed it (she does not have an assistant)! I was pissed! I ended up being there for 3 1/2 hours and there was only ONE PERSON IN FRONT OF ME!!!!!!!! I was so angry.

I told her about herself too when she FINALLY took me in the back to wash me. I said (in a joking way) "Girl you coulda just told me to come at 5:00!!! If I had have known I was gonan have to wait!!!!". She said "I was JUST abotu to apologize for that". (there was another stylist who's station is right next to my stylists back there at the time) and so my stylist says (to the other stylist, but halfway to me) " our clients just be dogggggin' us... we don;t want them to be sitting here all day...it's not intentional.... April did you see how Robyn just "went off" on me..... I'm sensitive". And I believe she is serious! But I have NO TIME for your "sensitivities" when I am paying you MY HARD EARNED cash! And then she had the NERVE to "jokingly" say "wellllll.... I COULDA just had you come atc'ho REGULAR time (5:30)!!!" WTF????? I was taken aback!!! I said back " Yup! You sho'll could have and I coulda been CHILLIN at my damn HOUSE instead of SIT.TING up in HERE for no reason!" Bitch don't get smart with me (even though it was said in a nice-nasty way)!!!!!! You will get gone off on FOR REAL!!!!

I have stayed with her this long because she IS good and she does take alot of CARE with my hair and she is 4 miles from my house! The other chick I like (stylist #2) is allllllllllllllll the way downtown (i.e. a 25 mile drive from my house)so I therefore found stylist #3 (who put my color in and is 2 miles from my house, but she is slow too). I just can't get it together man......

I am still upset even now to be honest because my time is precious and as my husband indicated "this should be your time to relax but you are so frustrated that you don't even ENJOY the service you are getting". He is right, but what can I do about it? Nothing but try to find someone else....for the 90th time.....that soooo does not interest me because I have TRIED tooooo many people and paid money for bullshit. So I am just all jacked up in terms of what to do abotu this salon-situation. I have uber short hair so I CANNOT just "go without" getting my wig done, nor can I "just wrap my mind around" the fact that I will "just have to wait". It's just Pure-D frustrating! And I feel like she (this particular stylist) has me by the jugular...... i think i may start looking again.

Photo Op's

Do you remember me telling you about the WONDERFUL photographer that I had take some engagement pictures for me? I have always wanted to shadow with him so badly but he was just soooooo very busy that he simply was inundated with work.

But I didn’t ever tell ya’ll about the convo that ensued when I first called my “photography mentor” to get his input on what computer I should get and what happened. So, here goes:

I reached out to him and after all the niceties (how are you, how’s the fam,etc.) he goes (not in a “I’m checking you” way)

Him: I need to apologize to you

Me: **confused as hell as I had not talked to him in over a year** For what?

Him: I want to apologize if you even thought that I didn’t want to help you be better in your photography endeavors (now I am really confused)…….I went to a trade show in LAS VEGAS and I was talking to this guy and he said that he had read YOUR BLOG and that you felt that I brushed you off and that I may not have wanted to help you in your education in the business and I wanted you to know that I would neeeeever blow you off and I am so sorry if I EVER gave you that impression

Me: **holy SHIT!!!....my mouth was open in embarrassment over the phone because, 1. I sooooo don’t EVER remember being negative and dogging him on here nor did I think I would mention his name if I had have said something NEGATIVE because I really do like him! But it HAS to be true (though I have searched my blog and cannot find not ONE reference to him by name, so I am sooo confused as to how he or that person knows this) because how would he have known?????? But I guess I said it somewhere…..sigh!!!***

Me: So, this person said that he read my blog? Uh…. (trying to sound nonchalant)so…. who was this person?

Him: Just a guy that Googled my name and came up with YOUR PAGE (which I did at that exact moment that we were talking and I came up with not ONE link to my frickin page).

Me: Ohhhhh….. ***not knowing what to say because I was soooo embarrassed***

Me: Well _____ (I will never use his name again…LOL), I am soooo sorry if I said that and I really don’t think I said it in that way if I did…. I would have meant (trying to backpedal and explain to one of my FAVORITE photographers why I was allegedly dogging him) it in the way of ‘I wish he had more time for me’ not in the I think he is just being mean and not wanting to help me way….. I am sooooo sorry _____ !!

So after these awkward moments and TWO HOURS of conversation which was WONDERFUL, he was like (I was wondering if it was out of a wee bit of guilt  ) “well I would be more than happy to show you some tricks and techniques if you would like.” So we set up an appt and I went over to his house (which is where his studio is in the basement) and I was there for 4 hours! I had such an informative and good time! He showed me his “editing” studio and I (seeing as though I literally have 1/20 of the equipment….or less…than he does) was sooooo overwhelmed (in a good way for the most part though). I did realize that I simply need several things that are “basic” to serious photographers and I have so little money so THAT was a little depressing because I want to really start doing BETTER pictures, but BETTER pictures is a combo of BETTER technology AND more experience doing it.

Well, at least it looks like I might get my wish at least in the latter portion! I am sooooo excited people! His work is beyond phenomenal and guess what?

HE IS GOING TO LET ME BE AN APPRENTICE!!!!!!

I am soooooooooooooooo excited I can hardly compose myself! It won’t be all the time, but he said “ You have the desire and I am going to SEE TO IT that you develop into what you want to be”.

Wow.

This is what I have been wanting for so long, that I am sitting here about to cry with excitement as I type this! I am going to a wedding this Saturday with he and his partner and will be shadowing him all day!!! YEA!!!! Yes, it will be a long day, but I NEED to see how it’s done and see how he works! His schedule is a little bit lighter now because it’s not the “peak” of the photography season, so he has a little bit more time now. I couldn’t be HAPPIER! His assistant and his wife are EQUALLY endearing and wonderful and I am so very comfortable with them all and have been from the first time that we met.

This is the start of my dream come true :-)

Oh, and my computer is on the way, so I am TRULY geeked now!!!!!

Another one bites the dust

I have never had a computer die on me, but the one I had for 3 years did about 2 weeks ago ***big dramatic sigh***. And with it died my ability to retrieve a wholllllllllle buncha pictures. That is all I am really concerned about are my pictures. I had put quite a bit onto CD, like the ones that I have taken for people, but as for my personal ones, well....most of those were on my hardrive!

Oh, whoa is me! whoa is ME! I know I shoulda known better and I did, but there seemed to always be something more urgent than for me to spend the $130 to get aback up drive. I had a lower end laptop and I probably should have known better. Afterthoughts are just that though....after. thoughts. DAMN!!

So, I went into immediate "look for a new computer mode". Do I have the money to get one right now? No. But can I do without one, especially seeing as though I have some pics that I took of this family oh, let's say 2 1/2 WEEKS ago at this point that I need to edit and get back to them???!!! HELL NO!!!I also have half been waiting on this (hee hee). You see, my husband is of the "we are broke as hell and it doesn't make sense to spend money on shit when we do not have to". While I understand this philosophy, I am a spender by nature, so I like to "make it happen, cap'n". This is a fundamental difference in the way we look at money: He's a saver and could care LESS about a damn electronic ANYTHING and I am a spender and if I were "allowed to" would have THE newest, most updated electronic WHATEVER at least once a year! I just love the stuff **shrug**. So, though I am MOST upset that I may not be able to get my pictures off ( I had pics that I had never printed out of my son when he was a baby,etc) I am OVERJOYED that I get to get a new computer.

So, we (of course) are arguing over how much this computer is going to cost. My thing: I am doing photography. I neeeeed a fast processor because that was one of my MAIN gripes with that old one! It was a slowwwwwwwwwwww as molasses processor! It sometimes I would be trying to open folders from my SD card that had large file sizes I swear I could cook dinner, go to the mall and have a pedicure in the timie it took for that mug to just open up a folder in thumbnail size on the SD disk (if the folder had like 50 large size pictures on it)!!! I HATED that computer once I started really doing my photography. Because it was just NOT easy and fast! But I also knew that the electonics-Nazi would not allow me to get a new computer. Him: "Do you even KNOW that the reason that it's slow is because of the processor?" Me: No. "well maybe it just needs to be defragmented or maybe it this or maybe it that.....blah, blah, blah". (irritated ass sigh). I don't feel like going through a buncha diagnostics when I know ENOUGH about computers to know that I was 99% sure that it was because of what I said: the processor was slow (not much RAM which is why it was dirt-dog-dirty cheap)and I got a lower end computer which NOW had alot of it's memory taken up!! But he needs emprical proof and evidence for ALL things related to money **rolling my eyes**.

We really do not see eye to eye on stuff like this (can't you tell?). He wants proof and parcel of the reason that we needed a new computer PRIOR to it blowing up because he's like "we broke!" which is mostly true I will give him that because since my position was eliminated Nov. 06 my salary has DROPPED by $15-16K a year. Yeah. So I knew that the ONLY way I was gon get a new one was for something irreparable to happen. And you KNOW the only reason I am getting one NOW (as opposed to waiting until some undetermined point in time) is because I NEED this to do my photography business and this computer is essential to me MAKING extra money, right??? However it came, I am glad that it came!! So, my angst in losing the other is heavily laden with excitement on getting a new computer :-)

And the silver lining is that my girl said that she MAY be able to pull some stuff off the hardrive because I tried to take it to Geeksquad at Best Buy and they were like "uh, we can't pull it off but we could send it to our data recovery place and their prices START at $259.00- $1,600.00". You know I gave them the "African are you FLIPPIN CRAZY " look and walked my behind RIGHT outta there right? So, thank you girl for offering to try to pull my stuff off of this computer!

And even though my husband was NOT happy at the price of my new system (because we got this other computer on a "Day-after-Christmas-when-I-stood-my-ass-out-in-the-cold-at-BEST-BUY-like-you-see-them-crazy-ass-people-do-and-got-a-rediculous-deal-on-thisl-ow-end-computer-deal" , I know that this is what I NEED if he wants me to really "get going" on my business. So.... I am not worried. My job allows us to take out an INTEREST FREE computer loan so that is how I am getting this fine piece of machcinery! It is repaid through payroll decutions in pretty much whatever amount that you would like. No-brainer. My new computer is also very capable of seeing me into the next "cycle" of computers because of the upgraded processor that I am getting on it. So, I am happy :-) I am like a kid at Christmas!! Buying stuff like THIS makes me soooo happy :-)

The only down side is that because THIS is a desktop I will have to keep it in the basement....the cold, cement, unfinished basement becuase that is where my "desk" (that I never use) is and that is the ONLY place (because my house is so damn small) that it can be placed. There is no "office"and no room in any other room to put it. I am going to also buy a heater to put down there because I will be down there everyday. My laptop (much to my husband's dislike) was pretty much permanently perched on the kitchen table **shrug**. That was the only place (other than the basement) where it could be and at least it was portable! So, that is the only downside, but I spent 3 hours yesterday in preparation for my "baby" to come home. I had to change the location of my desk because since there is only ONE power outlet that was put in (because , remember the basement is UNFINISHED) I needed the desk to be NEAR that outlet! Besides I wanted to change it becuase where it was is where I wanted to relocate my makeshift "photo studio" anyway! So, I am going to IKEA today to get some rugs as there was already a 12 x 12 berber carpet remnant over near where the desk used to be (and I am leaving it there so that when people come over to take pictures they will be stepping on carpet and not cement, get me?). So, I foudn two rugs and I am off and runnin!

My baby(a Dell) is not going to be here for another week-10 days ***impatiently tapping fingers*** But, I will have to post a picture of me and my new baby once she makes her arrival :-)